180° Not Spending to Spending

[street]

I know there has been many threads started about spending and not spending enough, dying with zero etc..

I never thought in a million years that I would have the courage, willing to want to spend instead of saving from being overly conservative.

I remember my mother in her late 80's tell me that she is to old to save now. It always stuck with me how someone so frugal/conservative could think that way. For 80 plus years mom and dad lived saving and spending only what was necessary. They still lived to the end with having very little to nothing.

Now I'm at that point I have turned the corner and see no sense in saving and just making it by to keep that stash at record highs any more. I never thought I would ever get too this point with my genes I was born with.

I read so many threads how people just can't loosen the purse strings. I think many do get to that mind set after some years into ER that what sense does it make to keep on saving.

Have you came 180° from your way of thinking or any comments or views.

 

[Dash man]

I’ve never had a problem spending if I know the money is there. My wife growing up in a large family with one middle class income, has always been frugal. I’m finally getting her to spend more. I keep her informed on our finances and she knows we’re okay.

 

[audreyh1]

We’re seriously working on it. Loosening the purse strings has been gradual and helped along by the growth in our investments.

 

[Lewis Clark]

I've started to come around.

My wife and I have always been savers, as is the case for most of us here. Now that we have both been retired for a few years with a comfortably low withdrawal rate and social security and medicare still in the future for both of us, I have started pushing for us to stop being so frugal. She isn't interested in crunching the numbers but is also starting to come around, though more slowly.

We're not 180 degrees yet, perhaps 90 degrees. We won't join the "RobbieB Blow That Dough Club" in the foreseeable future, but I can see us approaching that level in a few years if market returns continue to be favorable.

 

[Jerry1]

I’m in the middle on this. I spend pretty much as I want but I do keep an eye on my balance and think about LTC and inheritance for my daughters. Plus, I’m 64 and DW is 69 so we’re not at the point where I can see there being no way we won’t outlive our money.

 

[aja8888]

I'm currently agonizing for days over spending $150 for a pair of walking shoes since I have a good pair now. i'l guess I will wait for the "right time".

 

[isisdave]

This is funny, isn't it? After retirement ten years ago, it took three years to BEGIN to transition from "squeeze the nickel until the buffalo squeals" to "start to Blow (some of) the Dough." We're still driving the 2013 Camry, and at about 7000 miles a year it may outlast us.

Somehow, the retirement accounts contain about the same number of dollars they did then (although I know today's dollarettes are worth a lot less). At 75, recent experience during long-distance travel propelled us to spend more on comfort. But at the same time, we only buy "stuff" that makes life easier or more interesting.

 

[TheWizard]

In my case, no, I don't see any major change happening.
When I retired in 2013, I arranged to have roughly the same net income hitting my checking account each month as when fully employed. I've spent what I've needed from that for new vehicles, travel, etc.

And I've been able to put additional funds aside for future expenses, a new roof, a new truck, whatever.
Always best to have funding available for possible expenses rather than living on the edge.

I have been gradually increasing my charitable contributions via QCDs year after year as I try to find my comfort level in that area...

 

[COcheesehead]

I know there has been many threads started about spending and not spending enough, dying with zero etc..

I never thought in a million years that I would have the courage, willing to want to spend instead of saving from being overly conservative.

I remember my mother in her late 80's tell me that she is to old to save now. It always stuck with me how someone so frugal/conservative could think that way. For 80 plus years mom and dad lived saving and spending only what was necessary. They still lived to the end with having very little to nothing.

Now I'm at that point I have turned the corner and see no sense in saving and just making it by to keep that stash at record highs any more. I never thought I would ever get too this point with my genes I was born with.

I read so many threads how people just can't loosen the purse strings. I think many do get to that mind set after some years into ER that what sense does it make to keep on saving.

Have you came 180° from your way of thinking or any comments or views.

I took me awhile too, but I also retired into two bear markets, ‘20 and ‘22.
Those markets taught me that how I invested, thank you Mr Kitces, could survive bad times really well. That’s when I began to realize that either I will spend it or someone else will. We’ll die with multiples of what we started with. It’s time to enjoy what I worked so hard for. I am not talking about blowing it on junk. If you spend on what you value, it’s always money well spent.

 

[Koolau]

I too am in the 90 degree camp. Certainly spend more now and on more categories - especially the kids and charities than when still w*rking.

 

[freedomatlast]

The portfolio continues to double every 5 or 6 years, so I'm continuing to BTD. We spent big bucks last year and although we probably won't spend that much this year, we're not skimping on anything either. With social security coming in a few years, it's all the more reason buy what we want and help others now. This is a sharp contrast to living way below our means like we did for the last forty years or so.

It's time to enjoy some of the finer things in life.

 

[MarieIG]

Not 180%, no, I still have no desire to die broke and do wish to maintain sufficient assets and cash flow to fund our lifetimes, including end of life care and services. But I built a budget with room for extras, and have loosened the purse strings over the last year and-a-half.

My current financial mission involves formulating a plan for a special needs grandchild after we pass. We are cash flowing a lot in her direction now, due to her condition she does get a lot of covered services, and she doesn't need a SNT yet.

It may also come in the form of a trust which allows the trustee complete discretion of if, when and how much to disburse to her.

 

[mystang52]

We don't spend for speniding's sake, but we also stopped counting pennies and don't worry about buying whatever we want.

 

[imjustawarrior]

Retired at 55 years old 2 years ago. Our lifestyle has not changed. I have no problem spending. We have already purchased 1 new car in the last two years. I am working on getting 2 more new cars this summer. This has been the plan since before I retired.

I made sure that before I retired we were financially set to live the way we want, which includes spending. I don't like to waste money but I don't mind spending it either.

 

[RetiredHappy]

I have never had an issue in spending money. As long as I have income and savings to support my spending, I just spend on items where I see value in them. Value is different things to different people. For instance, I see value in spending on business class air tickets but I don't see value in spending thousands of dollars in a home trackman (for golf) type device. I buy a golf shirt for under $50 and don't see spending $100 on one.

 

[disneysteve]

I wish my mother would shift from saving to spending. She's nearly 95. What is she saving for? She continues to live like it's still the Great Depression, wearing stained and tattered clothes, trying to repair items literally purchased at the dollar store, and refusing to let us upgrade things for her, or getting upset when we do. She's not wealthy but she's got about 400K in savings so she can definitely afford better stuff. I think part of it is a lifetime of frugality and part of it is the realization that she is close to the end of her life so why buy new things now.

For us, I only retired last year so we're still in that adjustment period, but I feel like we've been looser with the purse strings overall. We've got a year under our belts and have seen our portfolio grow despite me no longer working which has given me the confidence to loosen up a bit.

 

[steelpony10]

I know there has been many threads started about spending and not spending enough, dying with zero etc..

I never thought in a million years that I would have the courage, willing to want to spend instead of saving from being overly conservative.

I remember my mother in her late 80's tell me that she is to old to save now. It always stuck with me how someone so frugal/conservative could think that way. For 80 plus years mom and dad lived saving and spending only what was necessary. They still lived to the end with having very little to nothing.

Now I'm at that point I have turned the corner and see no sense in saving and just making it by to keep that stash at record highs any more. I never thought I would ever get too this point with my genes I was born with.

I read so many threads how people just can't loosen the purse strings. I think many do get to that mind set after some years into ER that what sense does it make to keep on saving.

Have you came 180° from your way of thinking or any comments or views.

Oh boy I’m with the 90 degree about face, baby steps?

You may have been raised by Depression, WWII type parents like me.

You invested in markets so you’re already radically different then your parents. That may have been the cause of their fate at the end. Not you.

I have a steady paycheck called SS with raises and other cash flow like others here so as good managers so far we pay the bills with some left over.

We can still spend the “leftovers” or not leaving the portfolio to grow because we have good investment managers and hopefully because we chose wisely.

During Covid I saw 1/3 of our expenditures were discretionary. 95% of those are my wife’s. Don’t feel guilty.

 

[Dtail]

It is tough for the LBYM crowd on this site to change their spending habits. I/we got to where we are by saving each year but also used to spend quite a lot too.
Thus up to a certain point, I would have no trouble spending more with a reasonable uptick in funds.

 

[Sunset]

I'm currently agonizing for days over spending $150 for a pair of walking shoes since I have a good pair now. i'l guess I will wait for the "right time".

When I have a quandary like that, I feel much better buying that extravagant thing if it's on sale. May still be expensive, but the "sale" makes my frugal side happy.

 

[Dtail]

I wish my mother would shift from saving to spending. She's nearly 95. What is she saving for? She continues to live like it's still the Great Depression, wearing stained and tattered clothes, trying to repair items literally purchased at the dollar store, and refusing to let us upgrade things for her, or getting upset when we do. She's not wealthy but she's got about 400K in savings so she can definitely afford better stuff. I think part of it is a lifetime of frugality and part of it is the realization that she is close to the end of her life so why buy new things now.

For us, I only retired last year so we're still in that adjustment period, but I feel like we've been looser with the purse strings overall. We've got a year under our belts and have seen our portfolio grow despite me no longer working which has given me the confidence to loosen up a bit.

My mom at 92 is a lesser spending version of yours. She is a multi millionaire though but was always somewhat frugal. She has stated so if I want to go to France and blow 50k, can I? Well yes spend whatever you want but she won't do it.

 

[timbervest]

I have no problem spending if I feel I am getting value (rather than just gratuitous spending). I like bargains but will not short myself to save a few bucks. Comfort (travel), enjoyment (entertainment), quality (goods and services) are important but I will just as soon buy the store brand vs the name brand if I cannot tell the difference. When making a major purchase I ask myself two things: will spending the money make a material difference in my resources and will I miss the money six months from now and wish I didn't spend it? If the answer to both of these is "no" -- spend away.

 

[Midpack]

We’ve been trying to spend more, and making some progress, but nowhere near what financial calculators say we could safely spend. We moved to a higher COL area and bought the biggest, nicest house we’ve ever owned. I couldn’t imagine upping spending on everything, so this year we’ve made it a point to spend more while traveling/vacationing and spend more on dining out at restaurants at home - we have dinner out 3 times/week every week. But we’re still nowhere near what we could be spending.

Of course none of us know what future returns, or market corrections may come. That’s probably the main reason we have a hard time BTD, and I’m more comfortable with being conservative.

We’re redoing our Trust documents, and if we died today our nieces and nephews would receive life changing amounts of $. And that may well be the case when we actually pass. We have mixed feelings about that, that’s helped us spend more too.

 

[Ronstar]

12 years into retirement with portfolio at an all time high, I still have a hard time getting myself to spend. That's the primary reason why I work 20-30 hours a week maintaining everything around the house and grounds myself. When I do spend, it's usually on tools to make my home projects easier for me. We have opened up a little by spending more $ by eating at fancier restaurants 5 or so times a year.

 

[Sunset]

Like some others, changing from saving to spending goes against the grain.
Still I see if I don't spend it, others will easily.

So we are picking things to spend on, like a trip, new car soon, etc.

 

[audreyh1]

I wish my mother would shift from saving to spending. She's nearly 95. What is she saving for? She continues to live like it's still the Great Depression, wearing stained and tattered clothes, trying to repair items literally purchased at the dollar store, and refusing to let us upgrade things for her, or getting upset when we do. She's not wealthy but she's got about 400K in savings so she can definitely afford better stuff. I think part of it is a lifetime of frugality and part of it is the realization that she is close to the end of her life so why buy new things now.

For us, I only retired last year so we're still in that adjustment period, but I feel like we've been looser with the purse strings overall. We've got a year under our belts and have seen our portfolio grow despite me no longer working which has given me the confidence to loosen up a bit.

That is sad that she gets upset about upgrades and doesn’t want new clothes to replace her tattered ones which she could enjoy and could be donated to someone later. Sounds like some level of depression? which honestly I don’t know how you avoid at that age.