additional considerations
Good evening.
Some additional considerations pertaining to college expenses. From experience, anticipating a child will go to a state university is a logical thought from a parent's perspective, until your S/D applies to and is accepted into a prestigious school (not simply named sake, quality) that perhaps the parents could only have dreamed of attending. The costs of attending upper echelon has risen to 70k/yr; excluding student health fees, travel home expenses during normal times, and unexpected costs such as lost, broken, stolen electronic equipment. A week where a parent does not hear from a child who is away in these uncertain times is often justification to shell out additional money for replacement phones, bumped up mobile plans, etc.
Regarding Student health plans, it is not unusual for schools to *not* accept many parental paid plans...insisting that students enroll in the school's sponsored plans that cover services provided at the student health center (ancillary testing, clinician's fees, prescriptions, etc.). These plans can cost upwards of 2.5k year.
Local, municipal, state and Federal taxes each look to take their share of one's budget.
Unexpected repairs to automobiles, *exercise* equipment, garden tractors/snow blowers, plumbing....you get the idea.
Utilities, potable water, sewer, electric, natural gas, home phone, internet, netflix, lawn service, municipal waste services, NYT...if you didn't scrutinize your last 12 months of bills and try hard to avoid using the miscellanies category.
Dental, optical, insurance barely covers most procedures other than routine exams. Most optical plans only pay for one set of eye glasses per year...young adults may need more frequent replacements for a variety of reasons.
Food... I recollect a time when my parents would come home from the deli with a couple of loaves of Italian bread and a couple of pounds of sliced meats...it amazed my parents what the two "boys" could put down in a matter of minutes (fortunately the oldest was away at college or I might have starved).
I'm not trying to pop you balloon as I know all too well what it feels like to walk in shoes similar to your. I also understand that having *sufficient* money vs. healthy time is an equation that is impossible to solve. If you can temporarily remove your children from the equation (BTW...little children little problems...older children....bigger problems), you and your spouse need to be more than like like minded for retirement planning, you need to be well aligned.
Apologies for the long post. I hope you derive some value from this feedback from a grey haired 60+ husband and father of two very different and precious girls.