I have a lot written out in terms of where assets are, important contacts (attorney, cpa, etc), and some general advice. However, for passwords my loved ones only need access to my email and cell phone. Pretty easy to reset everything.
After I'm Gone Documents
- Thread starter Lewis Clark
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ShadowBloom
Recycles dryer sheets
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I read this somewhere:
A lady died this past January, and The Bank billed her for February March for their annual service charges on her credit card, added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance of $0, is now somewhere around $60. A Family Member placed a call to The Bank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: “I am calling to tell you she died in January.”
The Bank: “The account was never closed, and the late fees charges still apply.”
Family Member: “Maybe you should turn it over to collections.”
The Bank: “Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been.”
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”
The Bank: “Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau. Maybe both !”
Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”
The Bank: “Excuse me?”
Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you? The part about her being dead?”
The Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.” !
(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Family Member: “I’m calling to tell you she died in January.”
The Bank: “The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?”
The Bank: (stammering) “Are you her lawyer?”
Family Member: “No, I’m her great-nephew.”
The Bank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”
Family Member: “Sure.” (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
The Bank: “Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”
Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great ! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don’t think she will care.”
The Bank: “Well, the late fees charges do still apply.”
Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”
The Bank: “Yes, that will help.”
Family Member: ” Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”
The Bank: “Sir, that is a cemetery!”
Family Member: “What do you do with dead people on YOUR planet?!!
SecondCor521
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Lots of good comments.
One thing I did which I haven't heard mentioned much is make sure my executor (my sister) knows where to start and can start. So one time when she was visiting, I showed her where the physical copy of the document was, had her read the first few pages, and asked her if she had any questions or if anything was unclear. Thankfully it was not.
And the physical copy part is important. If a person stores such a document on their electronic device, which is itself protected with a password, then the person needs at least that password written down or known so they can get access to the electronic device to get access to the document to get access to everything else.
...
My Dad had me take over his finances about a year ago. I've been simplifying and decluttering his stuff off and on since then. He has one bank account and one credit card. I also keep track of his few outstanding subscriptions and bills. I'll cancel the subscriptions (Amazon, insurance), pay the bills (medical mostly), and close the checking and credit card accounts. I'll probably close his gmail account too; I check that about once a month to see if there's anything important there. Beyond that I don't worry about any adverse impact.
One thing I did which I haven't heard mentioned much is make sure my executor (my sister) knows where to start and can start. So one time when she was visiting, I showed her where the physical copy of the document was, had her read the first few pages, and asked her if she had any questions or if anything was unclear. Thankfully it was not.
And the physical copy part is important. If a person stores such a document on their electronic device, which is itself protected with a password, then the person needs at least that password written down or known so they can get access to the electronic device to get access to the document to get access to everything else.
...
My Dad had me take over his finances about a year ago. I've been simplifying and decluttering his stuff off and on since then. He has one bank account and one credit card. I also keep track of his few outstanding subscriptions and bills. I'll cancel the subscriptions (Amazon, insurance), pay the bills (medical mostly), and close the checking and credit card accounts. I'll probably close his gmail account too; I check that about once a month to see if there's anything important there. Beyond that I don't worry about any adverse impact.
Definitely the right thing to do. I still get FB birthday notifications for people who have passed away, and some of their FB contacts unthinkingly post birthday messages. It leaves a bad taste all around.
There is no way to get FB to deactivate these account so one should do it immediately.
If the deceased left an estate the company might auto renew and then make a claim against the estate. i can imagine some magazine or newspaper doing this, or even a cable company. They don’t seem to have much moral standard.
SecondCor521
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
If they make a valid claim against the estate, the executor should pay it. This is a good reason to leave the executor with a list of all current monthly/annual obligations/bills/subscriptions so they can be canceled ASAP when no longer needed.
In my state, if the executor properly publishes a death notice in the paper, then everyone is time limited to four months to file a claim against the estate. Even without the death notice, there is a time limit of IIRC 3 years.
My Mom had an FB account when she passed away. I don't recall the details but I did notify FB that she had passed away and FB "memorialized" her account. It's still there with her posts and everything, but I don't get the usual "Hey, [your Mom's] birthday is today! Wish her well!" for her account like I do for my currently living FB friends.
Koolau
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I never understood that stubbornness in a family. We're gonna see everything you've got after you pass. Why not let us get familiar with it before you pass so we can ask questions about your wishes? Makes no sense but I know it's common.
athena53
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Our church Business Manager died and she was the Admin on our FB page. I managed to convince FB she was dead but never could get the rights to name a new Admin. I finally started another page with a slight variation on the church name.
Deactivation is a good move. I've gotten ads in my feed from, say, Wal-Mart, headed with, "(Name of dead friend) likes Wal-Mart".
wife is going thru stuff now with here parents, FIL changes passwords weekly and cant remember them MIL writes them down and looses the paper / cant remember took 3 weeks to get back into the phone .
Facebook allows an account to be memorialized, locks it against login but friends can post Remembrances.
isisdave
Recycles dryer sheets
You can remove the birth date from an FB profile to stop automatic birthday reminders to friends. I think you should post a final message too; I have several expired FB friends whose pages do not reveal that they are deceased, and this can be painful to survivors, and embarrassing to friends who did not get the memo. The message might mention a plan to remove the page entirely in a year, so if there are photos on it you want, get them now.
jgrdarrash
Recycles dryer sheets
I don't normally recommend products but the NOK Box (stands for Next of Kin) helped me through my mother's estate. I know everyone lives in a digital world but I liked having paper for her estate. These people have thought of everything and it's organized into categories which I can be vital. We had to figure out her car insurance for homecare aids after her stroke but she couldn't remember the name of the company. Her files were alphabetical. It took me an hour to find them. The NOK box would take 30 seconds. Go to Insurance then the Auto folder and there is the statement. Best $150 you can spend.
qwerty3656
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I go to lifeinmotion.com and it seems to be a website building site? I don't see anything about collecting data to pass onto heirs.
OP
OP
Lewis Clark
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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Try this one:
Life in Motion Guide – End-of-life and emergency planning for families, simplified.
lifeinmotionguide.com
Koolau
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Can you give just a bit more detail on how you use it and how it helps. I've got file folders in my drawer with "stuff" DW will need. How is NOK Box better (and worth the money) - if you have a moment to respond. Thanks.
jgrdarrash
Recycles dryer sheets
We've had a "bill drawer" for years where we just toss bills after they're paid. Then a fire safe with our wills, certificates etc. But no real organization or instructions to our son. The Nokbox has everything in categories: assets, estate plans, taxes, debts etc. And each section has detailed instructions for your Next of Kin to follow. Our son may not know how to deal with certain types of assets but the box gives guidance. It's also good for stating that you don't have a mortgage, debt etc.
Finally it can't be dismissed that when you're grieving you're just not thinking clearly. Having a box set up where everything is organized and gives some direction will be invaluable for him. It helped me enormously when I just wasn't thinking as clearly after Mom's death. Worth looking into.
Koolau
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Thanks. I am still struggling a bit with $150 for a box of file folders. Are the included "instructions" worth that much?
Sorry. Not trying to belittle your choice. I did read the description in their site. I suppose the directions just might be worth it.
jgrdarrash
Recycles dryer sheets
I guess it depends on the age and knowledge of the executor. I was fairly knowledgeable (but first time executor) but still found it very helpful to have it figured out for me already. Could I have figured it out myself? Yes eventually. But I was also trying to work and grieve. So I thought it was worth it.
Koolau
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Thanks. I'll look closer at it. Organization is not my strong suit so maybe $150 would be worth it.
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