AJA's date recap #2 with some new info (aka, what's been going on.....)

[aja8888]

Since she shared that the holidays are tough for her, maybe a small gesture would go a long way — something simple like a card with a kind note, or even a modest bouquet, just to let her know you’re thinking of her without adding pressure. That way she feels supported but not overwhelmed.
"I just want you to know I’m thinking of you. I’m glad we’re getting to know each other, and I respect your need for space."

A card with a potted plant, poinsettia for example, "Wishing you peace and comfort this holiday season"

Maybe drop off homemade cookies or a book she might enjoy, showing kindness without intruding. "just wanted to brighten your day."

I think around a week before Christmas I'll send her some flowers with a nice note.

I appreciate all the thoughtful help here. You folks are great!

 

[Dtail]

Well, if she were, I'd hope she PMs me!

If she were then you guys would be discussing when you took SS and why.

 

[deserat]

Tangentially....serious bug-eyed popcorn eating voyeur reading on my part of this thread. Much more entertaining than reading the news. Thanks for sharing.

I know Aja has made his decision regarding the party on the 18th, but after he called and got clarification regarding a statement she made, based on her response, if it were me (I was her-gotta keep up with this story's characters!) I would have said yes...I've found that being in a new environment interacting outside of what is currently preoccupied me gives me a break and I am on a lighter mood to deal with what is on the horizon. Ie, she would get a break from the thought, emotions and activities she knows are coming.

Back to lurk mode.

 

[aja8888]

Tangentially....serious bug-eyed popcorn eating voyeur reading on my part of this thread. Much more entertaining than reading the news. Thanks for sharing.

I know Aja has made his decision regarding the party on the 18th, but after he called and got clarification regarding a statement she made, based on her response, if it were me (I was her-gotta keep up with this story's characters!) I would have said yes...I've found that being in a new environment interacting outside of what is currently preoccupied me gives me a break and I am on a lighter mood to deal with what is on the horizon. Ie, she would get a break from the thought, emotions and activities she knows are coming.

Back to lurk mode.

That's still floating around in my mind. Going to a fun event may be a good thing for her.

I'll test the waters next week as she has been open with communications and we have been having lunch together on her time frame.

 

[Aerides]

Tangentially....serious bug-eyed popcorn eating voyeur reading on my part of this thread. Much more entertaining than reading the news. Thanks for sharing.

I know Aja has made his decision regarding the party on the 18th, but after he called and got clarification regarding a statement she made, based on her response, if it were me (I was her-gotta keep up with this story's characters!) I would have said yes...I've found that being in a new environment interacting outside of what is currently preoccupied me gives me a break and I am on a lighter mood to deal with what is on the horizon. Ie, she would get a break from the thought, emotions and activities she knows are coming.

Back to lurk mode.

And get dressed up for a nice party with your new friend/interest? right, I'm with you. It's the 18th too, not on top of the actual holiday dates at all.

 

[aja8888]

And get dressed up for a nice party with your new friend/interest? right, I'm with you. It's the 18th too, not on top of the actual holiday dates at all.

True, has me leaning that way.

 

[More Cowbell]

Because you mentioned Christmas, I’m guessing that this is a holiday you both have in common.

How about a date to check out the holiday lights in your area? Some neighborhoods seriously go all out! I’ve also heard that everything is bigger in Texas, and lights would probably be no exception. Ask your new friend if she’d rather look at lights in a limo or in a top-down convertible or in your car. That may also give insight into her character.

 

[TheWizard]

Because you mentioned Christmas, I’m guessing that this is a holiday you both have in common.

How about a date to check out the holiday lights in your area? Some neighborhoods seriously go all out! I’ve also heard that everything is bigger in Texas, and lights would probably be no exception. Ask your new friend if she’d rather look at lights in a limo or in a top-down convertible or in your car. That may also give insight into her character.

I wish I could put the top down on my convertible this time of year...

 

[Koolau]

I wish I could put the top down on my convertible this time of year...

Don't you just turn on the heat when you do that? Back when I had a convertible, the top would be down as often as possible - but often with the heat on. Being warm and looking cool!

 

[More Cowbell]

I wish I could put the top down on my convertible this time of year...

Wear a hat and gloves and turn the heater up! I mean, how did they keep warm in the days of one horse open sleighs? There’s even songs about that!

Also, some modern and/or luxury convertibles even have bun warmers (heated seats).

 

[TheWizard]

Wear a hat and gloves and turn the heater up! I mean, how did they keep warm in the days of one horse open sleighs? There’s even songs about that!

Also, some modern and/or luxury convertibles even have bun warmers (heated seats).

My Mustang has nicely heated seats but it's going to be in the low 20s tomorrow during my hour long drive to Rhode Island so top down doesn't quite work...

 

[Koolau]

Wear a hat and gloves and turn the heater up! I mean, how did they keep warm in the days of one horse open sleighs? There’s even songs about that!

Also, some modern and/or luxury convertibles even have bun warmers (heated seats).

They heated bricks to put their feet on and wore mounds of wool blankets.

 

[aja8888]

I sold my Mustang Convertible a year ago. I was the third one I owned. I miss it but I'm moving on to old people cars!

 

[VanWinkle]

Is she aware that you are sharing information here? I think it is fine to
talk through some of your feelings, but I also wonder if she would feel the same way about it. If I missed one of your posts indicating you have told her about "us" then disregard my post. Having been through the widower phase and having met someone special, I hope your connection is long term and makes you happier than being alone.

 

[Time2]

Hey Monte..I am feeling confused and scared.

That's a great text, "I texted early just to be first today, so that you know I'm interested, but I'm also confused and scared.

 

[Amethyst]

Well, she was asking for some time and space during this period, but I'm not sure what she exactly means.

Hosting that many family members would absolutely floor me. I realize she has experience with a big family while I don't, but it has to be a ton of work to get ready and then coordinate everything. So I imagine that's what she means.

 

[Amethyst]

I'd tell her I'm a man and as such, clueless what is meant by needing space and if that means 'don't call us, we'll call you' until after Christmas. If she replies that just the window she is entertaining family, then invite her to your little soiree.

oh, and I wouldn't worry about your disclosure about the relationship on this forum, I'm sure she has been discussing you with others by now too.

Everyone is so sure of this! I guess I must be the world's biggest outlier.

 

[G POP]

If she were then you guys would be discussing when you took SS and why.

Along with withdrawal rates and should I prepay my mortgage.

 

[aja8888]

Hosting that many family members would absolutely floor me. I realize she has experience with a big family while I don't, but it has to be a ton of work to get ready and then coordinate everything. So I imagine that's what she means.

Yep, that's were we are......on a bit of a hold. But she still texts me during the day and in the evening. She's busy getting ready for the large family showing up. All is good.

 

[jollystomper]

As we would say in the old 'hood, continue to "take it cool, take it slow, take it light". Continuing to wish the best for you and her in this.

 

[Koolau]

I sold my Mustang Convertible a year ago. I was the third one I owned. I miss it but I'm moving on to old people cars!

I love my Buick LeSabre. Talk about an old-man car.

 

[badatmath]

Inquiring minds want to know - did you go to the party? Did you take her?

 

[wmc1000]

I think you are handling this well!

 

[Venturer]

I sold my Mustang Convertible a year ago. I was the third one I owned. I miss it but I'm moving on to old people cars!

AJA you sold your conertble but I bought mine this fall after I sold my motorcycle. I get the wind in my almost bald head without the fear of dropping my 850 lb. bike with DW on it and possibley hurting us. I'm enjoying reading your journey into the dating world again, carry on!

 

[aja8888]

All is good, we went to the party on the 18th together, and I am going to meet her family on Tuesday.

We still communicate each day. It's like being a teenager again, in some respects.