Any VT Divorcees Here? Advice Please

[FIYes]

So Ready, you are hurt and angry. You have every right to be hurt and angry. In your situation I would be very angry. I’ve never gone through a divorce but I know what it is like to have a husband who doesn’t pull his weight financially. DH has never made even half of my teacher’s salary. If we were to divorce I would probably have to pay him a portion of my pension for the rest of his life and I would resent it. But listen to the posters here, you will only hurt yourself further by pursuing this. Listen to your lawyer.

Find yourself a therapist and/or a support group. I like the suggestion of making sure that he can’t come back wanting more in a few years, because he will run through the money he gets. Eventually you will know that living well is the best revenge.

 

[SoReadyToRetire]

Be happy he cominged his inheritance money, typically that would not be part of an equitible distributon settlement.

He did NOT comingle his inheritance. He let me MANAGE and INVEST it, but my name was never on it. He got to keep it all.

 

[SoReadyToRetire]

I'm with the majority here; walk away and count your blessings. IF and that's a big IF, I were in your shoes and wanted to ask him for anything, it would be a fully paid-up life insurance policy for X amount of dollars with you as beneficiary. The idea is that you will celebrate when the rat dies some day and give him some thought about how he might treat someone in the future who would benefit from his death.

I'm unsure about applying for Social Security though based on his earnings. Others here might chime in about that possibility; using his SS while yours grows to full maximum.

We both already draw our own SS, and mine is quite a bit higher than his.

 

[Koolau]

We both already draw our own SS, and mine is quite a bit higher than his.

Let that make you feel better and just choose to remember the other stuff no more. Blessings.

 

[Texas Proud]

We both already draw our own SS, and mine is quite a bit higher than his.

Is it twice as much? He could be getting half of what you get if his is really low...

And if you pass before him he will get a bump up to your amount... so another thing you can be mad about but no money from you...

 

[RetiredHappy]

Is it twice as much? He could be getting half of what you get if his is really low...

And if you pass before him he will get a bump up to your amount... so another thing you can be mad about but no money from you...

Just make sure to not die before him.

 

[tryan]

You did really well to get out paying less than 1/2.... my ex was a stay at home mom. Never contributed financially or even a decision to accumulate the net worth of the clan. 30 years together she wants out... classic "grey divorce" . Empty nesters with grey hair and one looks at the othe and says "I am NOT going to spend the next 30 years alone with YOU". She filed the day our son left for college.

In the divorce negotiations her bulldog lawyer kept pouncing on the theme of "she has nothing, no education, no job experience .... blaa blaa blaa". In the end I agreed to take care of the mother of my children. She got 75% and I got 25%. Because hers was all after tax. And I knew I had the means to make it back.