At The Finish Line?

[eyenitnoy]

Great feedback! Yea, I'm generally super busy, so I probably won't have problems filling my time, I will:

- keep work side hustles in real estate investing
- keep a closer eye on my equities
- sleep 8 hours a night
- workout more consistently (1-2x/daily)
- learn a couple languages
- travel more, a lot more
- pick up a fun job
- hang out w/ my family more
- hang out with friends more
- organize and automate my life

Will that said, I think the larger existential questions, I don't have an answer for, but do I need that? Maybe this will allow to actually think about it.

Sleep 9 or 10.
While you can.

 

[eyenitnoy]

No kids. Yea, that’s the thing I think about.. what if I do want to get married and have those two kids? Get that large house in the suburbs?

I think I’m okay either way, my net worth will still grow even if not working, I’ll probably have my side hustle for fun to bring in $100k and play it by ear. So I’m thinking this will help if there’s a pivot to having kids.

If you wanted kids, you'd of had them already.
Bag it.
No kids at this point in your life.
You are doing just fine without the wife and kids route.

 

[eyenitnoy]

Yea, it's interesting b/c i've seem to have gone on dates with women with even more money than me lately. Generally in VHCOL cities, seems like everyone is fairly successful and highly educated.

With that said, it's weird not to talk finances b/c since we're all a bit FIRE focused, it's just comes out. Maybe I should be more aware.

I like to think of money like hammers.
Would a woman with a big box of hammers be sexy? Not particularly.
Especially if you already have a bunch of hammers.

Enough of my pearls of wisdom for one day.

Good luck.

 

[gooddog]

Great job. There is one thing about real estate assets - they can quickly turn in to liabilities if the RE market turns or there is a substantial recession. The positive cash flow can turn negative. Just something to consider going forward.

 

[jimbee]

I like to think of money like hammers.
Would a woman with a big box of hammers be sexy? Not particularly.
Especially if you already have a bunch of hammers.

Enough of my pearls of wisdom for one day.

Good luck.

Depends how much nailing we want to do...

 

[RobbieB]

A woman with hammers...

Where do I meet such women -

 

[FREE866]

No kids. Yea, that’s the thing I think about.. what if I do want to get married and have those two kids? Get that large house in the suburbs?

Now why in the world would you want to go and destroy your amazing life?!

 

[F.I.R.E User]

Yea, it's interesting b/c i've seem to have gone on dates with women with even more money than me lately. Generally in VHCOL cities, seems like everyone is fairly successful and highly educated.

With that said, it's weird not to talk finances b/c since we're all a bit FIRE focused, it's just comes out. Maybe I should be more aware.

How do you know their net worth?

 

[tmorrispac]

65 and graduating law school in May...what's your passion?

I commend you on your financial accomplishments! And what I decided for myself, others might not consider retirement...but as someone else here said... I'm doing what *I* want to do! After the Bar Exam in July I'll start work on opening a non-profit law firm to serve the poor and marginalized. Not saying you should do that...but I am saying follow your passion. And if you aren't sure what your passion is...take some time in solitude and determine what that is. Life is too short not to like life everyday. Again, kudos for where you are at this point in your life! The world is your oyster!!

 

[HI Bill]

I would sell or rent out Property #1 and sell #3 [cash flow is marginal]. Buy yourself your $2M home, and finance it. Your cash flow can withstand $3K payments. FIRE at will. BTW, it sounds like you're not really planning to RE, just reorganizing your life to work you'd enjoy more, and lowering your stress level. Nothing wrong with that!

 

[refi]

Now why in the world would you want to go and destroy your amazing life?!

If you wanted kids, you'd of had them already.
Bag it.
No kids at this point in your life.
You are doing just fine without the wife and kids route.

hahaha.. because society says it's a great to have the intangible value of wife and kids/(grandkids)? All I see is more stress and less freedom. But still have to consider it.

 

[refi]

Great job. There is one thing about real estate assets - they can quickly turn in to liabilities if the RE market turns or there is a substantial recession. The positive cash flow can turn negative. Just something to consider going forward.

If a majority are locked at 30 year loans would that matter and I'm not currently overleveraged? Seems like most of my fixed costs won't vary dramatically. Just wanted to dig how this and see what i am missing? Are you talking about vacancies, cost of maintenance/services, dropping house values? Thanks!

 

[refi]

So, you are 42. That gives you, on average, about 38 more years of life or 13,870 days.

You will wake up (on average) 13,870 more times.
You will go to sleep (on average) 13,870 more times.
And that's it. Then the game is over, and, whoever has the most toys most definitely does not win.

Now, you're a millionaire, worth about $5. Of course, by standard models, $10 million is the old $1 from back in the day. But you certainly know that already.

The question really is, what do you want to do with the remaining 13,870 days you have?
That is your real wealth, not the $5 million.

You have enough money, right now, to do pretty much whatever you want, within reason.

The question is, what do you want to do with your life?



It's a tough question.
Good luck.

yea, that's the MILLION dollar question. In alignment to the other discussion, it seems folks with kids have a path more destined, you take care of your kids and that's a big part of general life intertia along w/ your marriage.

As others noted, maybe some time off will provide me some clarity to these existential questions. There are tons of things that make me happy and I can focus on them, but is there more? ...

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

No kids. Yea, that’s the thing I think about.. what if I do want to get married and have those two kids? Get that large house in the suburbs?

I think I’m okay either way, my net worth will still grow even if not working, I’ll probably have my side hustle for fun to bring in $100k and play it by ear. So I’m thinking this will help if there’s a pivot to having kids.

Part of my pre-FIRE prep was a vasectomy. That ship has sailed and I don't need the potential liability of a surprise in my RE.


I did get married and did get the big house but no kids. She is gone, sold the money pit, and am happy in my not huge townhouse. I have no desire to marry again but want to find a life-partner and would like to meet someone that makes me reconsider.... even then and any formalization would be for legal/tax reasons probably later in life.

 

[pacergal]

OP--
You have the finances to retire now, congratulations! You also have the ability to finance a future with a partner and kids if you so choose.

What do you like to do when you have time off work? How do you see filling your days?
Do you have many friends who are also retired and you can socialize and do things with?

A goal "To Retire" is great, but what are you going to Retire too?

I love Ernie Zelinki's book "How to retire happy, wild and free" and his "get a life" tree exercise. Some one on this forum pointed it out many years ago.

Best Wishes in your decision making.
Go, enjoy life!
Don't want to be a downer, but if mid 80's is average life expectancy, you are at mid life now in your 40's! ;-) Time flies faster than you think.

 

[eyenitnoy]

yea, that's the MILLION dollar question. In alignment to the other discussion, it seems folks with kids have a path more destined, you take care of your kids and that's a big part of general life intertia along w/ your marriage.

As others noted, maybe some time off will provide me some clarity to these existential questions. There are tons of things that make me happy and I can focus on them, but is there more? ...

There is something else to keep in the back of your mind. What assumptions are you making about retirement? Oh, I know, there are a bunch. But here is one often overlooked-it sure was by me.

You are assuming that you *get to decide* when to retire. Well, I sure didn't. A medical condition ended my career and I "retired" years before I would have otherwise. Luckily, because of FIRE, I was in a good spot.

Don't assume you get to pick your exit date. Maybe you can, maybe you cannot. There are many, many things in life you cannot control.

If you life is defined or built around work you are in trouble. You need to have other interests and other ways to define "what is a good life" that do not involve working.

Control over events and circumstances-especially when it comes to health-is an illusion that burns many people.

 

[eyenitnoy]

Part of my pre-FIRE prep was a vasectomy. That ship has sailed and I don't need the potential liability of a surprise in my RE.


I did get married and did get the big house but no kids. She is gone, sold the money pit, and am happy in my not huge townhouse. I have no desire to marry again but want to find a life-partner and would like to meet someone that makes me reconsider.... even then and any formalization would be for legal/tax reasons probably later in life.

Marriage to me only makes sense for a couple if:

1) They want to raise children. Studies show a stable marriage arrangement is the best environment for kids.

2) If their religious views require such and arrangement.

Those, to me, are the only two reasons to ever marry. What about love? Relationships? Companionship?

Those are of course important. But marriage is a legal and financial contract that has nothing to do with love, companionships or relationships. Many people learn this fact the hard way.

A case can be made that mutually beneficial/love/companionship relationships are better when either party can walk away, at any time, with no strings attached and no claim to the other parties money or assets. I'd say this keeps both parties on their toes and attentive to the dynamics of the relationship.

These are just my thoughts on the matter, of course. I am no expert.

 

[Letj]

Marriage to me only makes sense for a couple if:



1) They want to raise children. Studies show a stable marriage arrangement is the best environment for kids.



2) If their religious views require such and arrangement.



Those, to me, are the only two reasons to ever marry. What about love? Relationships? Companionship?



Those are of course important. But marriage is a legal and financial contract that has nothing to do with love, companionships or relationships. Many people learn this fact the hard way.



A case can be made that mutually beneficial/love/companionship relationships are better when either party can walk away, at any time, with no strings attached and no claim to the other parties money or assets. I'd say this keeps both parties on their toes and attentive to the dynamics of the relationship.



These are just my thoughts on the matter, of course. I am no expert.

+1000. If I ever found myself divorced, I would never ever marry again. I don’t see the benefit when children aren’t in the cards plus I am financially independent. Not even the likelihood of paying more taxes would make me marry. Unless you are religious like you said or plan on children why would an otherwise successful middle age person care to marry? Does it prove that you are more committed because you get married. I think it has more to do with cultural conditioning than it is an indication of commitment. They can date anybody of any means without having to worry about money. I think I like the way the Europeans do it. There’s no special advantage to being married and people in committed partnered relationship are just as respected. In fact, they seem to refer to the significant others of both married and unmarried as partner. I do like that.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

Marriage to me only makes sense for a couple if:

1) They want to raise children. Studies show a stable marriage arrangement is the best environment for kids.

2) If their religious views require such and arrangement.

Those, to me, are the only two reasons to ever marry. What about love? Relationships? Companionship?

Those are of course important. But marriage is a legal and financial contract that has nothing to do with love, companionships or relationships. Many people learn this fact the hard way.

A case can be made that mutually beneficial/love/companionship relationships are better when either party can walk away, at any time, with no strings attached and no claim to the other parties money or assets. I'd say this keeps both parties on their toes and attentive to the dynamics of the relationship.

These are just my thoughts on the matter, of course. I am no expert.

Absolutely agree. Especially after a divorce... so much for death do us part (and so much better for both of us that we didn't!), it is not permanent meaningfully under today's (Western) norms.



I really would like to find a compatible partner but know it's a needle in a haystack... I think I'm done actively looking but consciously try to be on my toes so I don't let opportunities pass me by.

 

[Souschef]

Absolutely agree. Especially after a divorce... so much for death do us part (and so much better for both of us that we didn't!), it is not permanent meaningfully under today's (Western) norms.



I really would like to find a compatible partner but know it's a needle in a haystack... I think I'm done actively looking but consciously try to be on my toes so I don't let opportunities pass me by.

I found her We were both widowed, and we have been married for 15 years. We have no community assets except our home.
We keep all our finances separate.

 

[stephenson]

Refi,

I'm gonna snort like I would to a friend who ponders out loud - about something that is interesting, but not a good fit - at all.

You don't write in a manner that is wistful - you sound like you're on fire.

I would suggest it's way too early.

That you are not married ... hmmm ... money sounds like it is more important. It's ok, it happens.

 

[refi]

OP--
You have the finances to retire now, congratulations! You also have the ability to finance a future with a partner and kids if you so choose.

What do you like to do when you have time off work? How do you see filling your days?
Do you have many friends who are also retired and you can socialize and do things with?

A goal "To Retire" is great, but what are you going to Retire too?

I love Ernie Zelinki's book "How to retire happy, wild and free" and his "get a life" tree exercise. Some one on this forum pointed it out many years ago.

Best Wishes in your decision making.
Go, enjoy life!
Don't want to be a downer, but if mid 80's is average life expectancy, you are at mid life now in your 40's! ;-) Time flies faster than you think.

Yes, the cruel realization that i'm mid-life has exacerbated my existential crisis for sure! Thanks!

Days will be filled, have a lot of friend who Work From Home (Tech), so not an issue. My main concern is just leaving that sweet money on the table. That fine balancing act.

 

[refi]

Marriage to me only makes sense for a couple if:

1) They want to raise children. Studies show a stable marriage arrangement is the best environment for kids.

2) If their religious views require such and arrangement.

Those, to me, are the only two reasons to ever marry. What about love? Relationships? Companionship?

Those are of course important. But marriage is a legal and financial contract that has nothing to do with love, companionships or relationships. Many people learn this fact the hard way.

A case can be made that mutually beneficial/love/companionship relationships are better when either party can walk away, at any time, with no strings attached and no claim to the other parties money or assets. I'd say this keeps both parties on their toes and attentive to the dynamics of the relationship.

These are just my thoughts on the matter, of course. I am no expert.

Yea, i get this a lot from my married and divorced friends and especially those who have kids.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

Yes, the cruel realization that i'm mid-life has exacerbated my existential crisis for sure! Thanks!

Days will be filled, have a lot of friend who Work From Home (Tech), so not an issue. My main concern is just leaving that sweet money on the table. That fine balancing act.

There is always more money to be had...


One of my mantras and something I say to people inquiring about my employment status (most older and working!) is "I'll never be as young as I am today." Maybe I pulled the trigger too soon, maybe not soon enough, time will tell but as of now, no regrets! If any regret, I regret not doing it sooner -not because I saved too much but because the freedom is so amazing. Stress is a fraction of what it was.... I am more content than I have ever been in my life.. happy yes, but it's more of a nice warm bath of contentment that drowns out so much of life's headaches.

 

[refi]

There is always more money to be had...


One of my mantras and something I say to people inquiring about my employment status (most older and working!) is "I'll never be as young as I am today." Maybe I pulled the trigger too soon, maybe not soon enough, time will tell but as of now, no regrets! If any regret, I regret not doing it sooner -not because I saved too much but because the freedom is so amazing. Stress is a fraction of what it was.... I am more content than I have ever been in my life.. happy yes, but it's more of a nice warm bath of contentment that drowns out so much of life's headaches.

Congrats, sir! I saw that you retired last year and your life sounds fantastic!

Yes, this resonates with me so much -

Stress is a fraction of what it was.... I am more content than I have ever been in my life.. happy yes, but it's more of a nice warm bath of contentment that drowns out so much of life's headaches.