Best friend just died suddenly

[old medic]

So sorry to hear of your loss....
I spent the weekend hanging out with our crowd that has grown over 30 years, 1600 acre hunting camp, riding shooting BS-ing ECT.... There were to many names mentioned in remembrance....

 

[finnski1]

So sorry for your loss. My condolences.
This happened to me a few months ago and it was a shock as he was still working and was about to retire after 35 years with the same company that we both worked for. A bachelor who didn't show up for work and was finally discovered in his home. We hiked together almost every weekend for 7 years. Still think of him often as I'm sure you will too.

 

[mebden]

So sorry for your loss pacergal. The one part of life that isn't fun for anyone. Just try to remember all the good times you had with your friends, as it always helps with the healing process.

 

[Koolau]

A great post Koolau. Our 60th HS reunion is in May . I'm not sure I want to be around all those old people

Yeah, 50th was bad enough. 60th is in June.

 

[Scuba]

Wow, late last night received unwelcome news. One of the couple (our good friends who've in California that I frequently mention) passed away last night.
He and DH have been friends since HS, he was like a brother. I have known him and his DW for almost 50 years, met just out of HS.
He was out shopping with his wife, felt ill, ambulance called, he had a sudden heart attack and was unable to be revived.
We are in a state of shock. His 68th birthday is tomorrow.

We have traveled frequently with them, the guys were in each others weddings. Heck, we each got married two months apart, same year. Our two kids were born same months/same years as two of theirs! Our families have vacationed at the beach and in the mountains together when the kids were young.

I grieve so much for the loss in our lives and the lives of his family. He was their rock. He gave the BEST bear hugs! DH and I have been crying off and on all night.
They have another grand baby due next month. The circle of Life continues. I rejoice that he is with God. But my heart is hurting.

I am so sorry for your loss. How shocking for everyone close to him. Very sad.

 

[Lucie]

I am very sorry for your loss. Cherish the wonderful memories and continue to make good memories for yourself and others.

 

[pacergal]

Again, a big Thank you to all for your kind words.

We heard back last night about the service. It will be March 15.
I have the hotel reservations made. Our drive to and from California will seem a bit longer this time. But it will be nice to see the family and give hugs.
I have printed out the last picture I have of all four of us from last year and I have typed and printed out some thoughts to share during the service. I do not know if I will be able to speak through my tears, if not, I will simply give them to his wife.
This friend was closer than a brother to DH. He is taking this pretty hard. My heart continues to ache for all involved, however my Faith tells me he is in a better place.

Thank you letting me ramble. I do appreciate this caring community.

 

[Cujet]

I read this thread and it really hit home. I get it, the heartache, the emptiness, and even the thoughts about finding another friend to fill the hole. I truly understand and I am so sorry.

Like you, I lost my closest friend suddenly, he was 59, a 787 American Airlines captain, engineer and overall great guy. Then followed by the loss of 4 other friends in quick succession. All for different reasons, one death (we will call him Dan) was at least partially his own fault for not checking after refuel, in his borrowed Piper Aerostar. It used Avgas and was misfueled with Jet-A, the crash killed him. Then my childhood friend from 1.5 years onward, had a hemorrhagic stroke that left him a shell of his former self with fully 1/3 of his brain gone. 6 people gone in 2 years. The only one left is my college roommate.

I was beyond devistated and empty, and while I am not religious, I was mad at God for taking my friends. One thing that helped me was to actively think about the fact that I was beyond fortunate to have such great friends for the time I did, for the great times, the laughs, the fun the companionship and understanding. I was truly fortunate. I learned to be thankful. And of course to tell stories about them!

My buddy Bob

 

[Koolau]

It sounds terrible to say but I'm becoming somewhat used to losing friends these days. After all, most of my friends are my age or older (and the decade from 80 to 90 is tough on friends). Having said that, I mostly remember the good times and that gets me through the losses. Realistically, what choice do we have but to go on.

 

[Valid not Invalid]

Sorry for your loss. Any of us could have a ticking time bomb about to go off within us and have no clue it’s coming. A good reminder to appreciate every day.

Only somewhat true on the ticking time bomb. Many doctors are now encouraging preventative care. Many tests are non-evasive, but take time to schedule, attend, discuss and sometimes act. My DW had a long family history of heart disease and as a couple, I agreed to participate into the same preventative appointments for her sake. Her results were spotless, despite a diet made up of significant amounts of chocolate chip cookies. On the other hand, my high cholesterol numbers have resulted in some blockage of my main heart artery, so now it’s a baby aspirin and daily statin, and an awareness to watch for any changes. My message is to take the time to schedule that first meeting, and perhaps prevent that ticking time bomb from going off prematurely, or not at all.

 

[CindyBlue]

Cindyblue Thank you for checking in. It's good to hear how you are doing.

Thank you, Ivinsfan, I appreciate your words very much. I do check in occasionally, because I feel such a part of this wonderful community.
I am not sure how I'm doing. This is the hardest thing I've ever faced, and there are days I'm not sure I can face it. Just trying to crawl out of bed every morning and put one foot in front of the other...

 

[ivinsfan]

Thank you, Ivinsfan, I appreciate your words very much. I do check in occasionally, because I feel such a part of this wonderful community.
I am not sure how I'm doing. This is the hardest thing I've ever faced, and there are days I'm not sure I can face it. Just trying to crawl out of bed every morning and put one foot in front of the other...

I'm glad you are still here, and you were kind and caring about W2R..and we care about you

 

[More Cowbell]

We heard back last night about the service. It will be March 15.

I hope that you and DH were able to be there share memories of your BF with his family.

 

[pacergal]

We are home. The service was very heartwarming, many tears but also many smiles.
DH and I spoke along with their kids, his wife, his brother in-law, a nephew and his brother. Another high school friend traveled there as well. DH was mentioned in his "Memory story" in the cards on each table, he was so honored. They have all been like family for so long.
We had some lovely visits and a couple meals with his wife, she also has said she wants to travel some more at some time and spoke of our "next visit" down there, so that is good. The most difficult part of being at their home was sitting in all our "usual" spots and his chair was empty. She said that she doesn't like looking over there and not seeing him. When she has company, she wants someone to sit there, but her kids won't yet "that's Dads place".
Now, the hard part comes as daily life returns. We talked a lot about how it is going to be, or rather, how she is thinking. Grief and tears will come and go. I plan on sending her cards and emailing a bit more over the coming weeks/months.
New grand baby is due in two weeks, she is looking forward to that.

I thank you all for your kind words and comfort over the past couple of weeks.

 

[Koolau]

Thank you for a lovely summary of your visit. Here is hoping for rapid healing for all involved. Blessings.

 

[Dtail]

Thank you for the update. You are a true friend.

 

[CindyBlue]

We are home. The service was very heartwarming, many tears but also many smiles.
DH and I spoke along with their kids, his wife, his brother in-law, a nephew and his brother. Another high school friend traveled there as well. DH was mentioned in his "Memory story" in the cards on each table, he was so honored. They have all been like family for so long.
We had some lovely visits and a couple meals with his wife, she also has said she wants to travel some more at some time and spoke of our "next visit" down there, so that is good. The most difficult part of being at their home was sitting in all our "usual" spots and his chair was empty. She said that she doesn't like looking over there and not seeing him. When she has company, she wants someone to sit there, but her kids won't yet "that's Dads place".
Now, the hard part comes as daily life returns. We talked a lot about how it is going to be, or rather, how she is thinking. Grief and tears will come and go. I plan on sending her cards and emailing a bit more over the coming weeks/months.
New grand baby is due in two weeks, she is looking forward to that.

I thank you all for your kind words and comfort over the past couple of weeks.

Thank you for sharing this, Pacergal...my thoughts are with you and your friend...