Buying Back Time at 40

[rosystatic]

I’ve spent the last 20 years building my career.

Recently, I had the opportunity to step into what had long been one of my major career goals: a Service Line VP role. After a lot of thoughtful conversations—and some honest reflection about personal burnout—I decided to decline it.

That decision opened the door to an even bigger question:

Do I still want to keep doing what I’m doing now?

I currently lead a large team across multiple departments, and while I’ve taken pride in the responsibility, I’m also realizing success can come with a cost.

My husband and I are both working professionals in our early 40s, raising kids in the Midwest with a lower cost of living. We’ve been diligent savers and have built roughly $1.3 million in retirement accounts (closer to $1.4 million including our kids’ 529 plans), with no vehicle payments and no desire to keep up with anyone else.

Because of that, I’m starting to seriously ask whether taking a lower-stress role at 40, or even stepping back financially for a season, might actually be the smarter move.

Less title. Less stress. More time. More presence. More life.

I’m in a season of re-evaluating ambition, family, burnout, and what “enough” really looks like.

Has anyone in the Midwest, in a similar stage of life, taken a lesser role or stepped back professionally and still found that you remained financially stable and secure?

I think we’re doing okay, but I had very little financial modeling growing up, so sometimes it’s hard to know what “okay” even looks like.

 

[COcheesehead]

Welcome to the forum.

I’ll share my midlife crisis. Mine happened at 33. Was making good bucks in sales, but worked only for one company since college. I thought there had to be more. Right? I mean there must be something better. So I left. Moved to Colorado, worked in lessor rolls at small firms. Hated it. Ultimately decided to open my own business where more of what I did really mattered. Ran that business for almost 24 years.

Only after selling the business and retired did I realize that there is something better. It’s being retired.

I would say bank coin while you can. Retire early and seek the you that you always desired.

 

[pb4uski]

With $1.4m banked in your early 40s it sounds to me like you are well on track and can downshift if you wish to. I would suggest working through Quicken Lifetime Planner included in Quicken Deluxe and higher. It is an easy to use tool that covers a lot of ground.

Another tool is FIRECalc, paying special attention to the "Not Retired" tab. For fun, I entered $1.3m and a time horizon of 50 years (20 more working years and a 30 year retirement), the default 75/25 asset allocation and solved for safe spending at 95% success. If you just let your $1.3m grow for 20 years and then started withdrawing from it, FIRECalc suggests that you could withdraw $141k annually starting in 2046 and inflation adjusted withdrawals thereafter. If you add $20k a year between now and 2046, then that safe withdrawal increases to $175k a year in 2046 and inflation adjusted withdrawals thereafter.

Ah... the power of compounding!

Not from the Midwest, but I downshifted when I was about 45 or so. I had been with a large firm for a few years and they approached me about becoming a partner. At the time, the two partners who I knew well seemed to be running at 100 miles an hour all the time... long days, a lot of travel, etc. I was comfortable in a managing director/subject matter specialist role and decided to stay where I was (I was still earning well into six-figures).

A couple years after I decided not to pursue partnership I downshifted to 50% time to reduce my travel and be home more to address some family issues. I was very lucky in that the firm had an established path for part-time work... as long as you were 50% or more you got firm sponsored health insurance like a full-time employee and everything else was pro rata.. so 50% of pay, 50% of vacation time, 50% bonus, etc. I did that for another 7 years before retiring.

 

[rosystatic]

Welcome to the forum.

I’ll share my midlife crisis. Mine happened at 33. Was making good bucks in sales, but worked only for one company since college. I thought there had to be more. Right? I mean there must be something better. So I left. Moved to Colorado, worked in lessor rolls at small firms. Hated it. Ultimately decided to open my own business where more of what I did really mattered. Ran that business for almost 24 years.

Only after selling the business and retired did I realize that there is something better. It’s being retired.

I would say bank coin while you can. Retire early and seek the you that you always desired.

Welcome to the forum.

I’ll share my midlife crisis. Mine happened at 33. Was making good bucks in sales, but worked only for one company since college. I thought there had to be more. Right? I mean there must be something better. So I left. Moved to Colorado, worked in lessor rolls at small firms. Hated it. Ultimately decided to open my own business where more of what I did really mattered. Ran that business for almost 24 years.

Only after selling the business and retired did I realize that there is something better. It’s being retired.

I would say bank coin while you can. Retire early and seek the you that you always desired.

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate this advice and perspective.

 

[G-Money]

Welcome.

If you run your own projections, I'm guessing you'll discover a financial possibility to step back or do something different while you re-assess or re-baseline your goals.

I think it's OK to take a break, generally speaking. It can be whatever you want it to be. A sabbatical, a career break, or learn a new skill and pursue a different kind of work.

You can always go back. Work will always be there.

I took a break for about 18 months in my mid-30's. I pursued something completely different. My spouse was the breadwinner, and we managed through it. It was good. Really, really good.

The two biggest headwinds that I fought were my own expectations of myself (I could be doing/earning more), and worrying about how other people viewed what I was doing (why did he quit such a "good" job?). Managing those things wasn't easy. But, looking back, would I do it again? Heck yeah.

 

[rosystatic]

With $1.4m banked in your early 40s it sounds to me like you are well on track and can downshift if you wish to. I would suggest working through Quicken Lifetime Planner included in Quicken Deluxe and higher. It is an easy to use tool that covers a lot of ground.

Another tool is FIRECalc, paying special attention to the "Not Retired" tab. For fun, I entered $1.3m and a time horizon of 50 years (20 more working years and a 30 year retirement), the default 75/25 asset allocation and solved for safe spending at 95% success. If you just let your $1.3m grow for 20 years and then started withdrawing from it, FIRECalc suggests that you could withdraw $141k annually starting in 2046 and inflation adjusted withdrawals thereafter. If you add $20k a year between now and 2046, then that safe withdrawal increases to $175k a year in 2046 and inflation adjusted withdrawals thereafter.

Ah... the power of compounding!

Not from the Midwest, but I downshifted when I was about 45 or so. I had been with a large firm for a few years and they approached me about becoming a partner. At the time, the two partners who I knew well seemed to be running at 100 miles an hour all the time... long days, a lot of travel, etc. I was comfortable in a managing director/subject matter specialist role and decided to stay where I was (I was still earning well into six-figures).

A couple years after I decided not to pursue partnership I downshifted to 50% time to reduce my travel and be home more to address some family issues. I was very lucky in that the firm had an established path for part-time work... as long as you were 50% or more you got firm sponsored health insurance like a full-time employee and everything else was pro rata.. so 50% of pay, 50% of vacation time, 50% bonus, etc. I did that for another 7 years before retiring.

With $1.4m banked in your early 40s it sounds to me like you are well on track and can downshift if you wish to. I would suggest working through Quicken Lifetime Planner included in Quicken Deluxe and higher. It is an easy to use tool that covers a lot of ground.

Another tool is FIRECalc, paying special attention to the "Not Retired" tab. For fun, I entered $1.3m and a time horizon of 50 years (20 more working years and a 30 year retirement), the default 75/25 asset allocation and solved for safe spending at 95% success. If you just let your $1.3m grow for 20 years and then started withdrawing from it, FIRECalc suggests that you could withdraw $141k annually starting in 2046 and inflation adjusted withdrawals thereafter. If you add $20k a year between now and 2046, then that safe withdrawal increases to $175k a year in 2046 and inflation adjusted withdrawals thereafter.

Ah... the power of compounding!

Not from the Midwest, but I downshifted when I was about 45 or so. I had been with a large firm for a few years and they approached me about becoming a partner. At the time, the two partners who I knew well seemed to be running at 100 miles an hour all the time... long days, a lot of travel, etc. I was comfortable in a managing director/subject matter specialist role and decided to stay where I was (I was still earning well into six-figures).

A couple years after I decided not to pursue partnership I downshifted to 50% time to reduce my travel and be home more to address some family issues. I was very lucky in that the firm had an established path for part-time work... as long as you were 50% or more you got firm sponsored health insurance like a full-time employee and everything else was pro rata.. so 50% of pay, 50% of vacation time, 50% bonus, etc. I did that for another 7 years before retiring.

Thank you for the advice and thoughtful reply. I don’t necessarily want to stop working. I’d want to stay in my field, but in a role with far less responsibility and mental load. Health insurance is a real factor, so stepping away completely isn’t an option!

 

[rosystatic]

Welcome.

If you run your own projections, I'm guessing you'll discover a financial possibility to step back or do something different while you re-assess or re-baseline your goals.

I think it's OK to take a break, generally speaking. It can be whatever you want it to be. A sabbatical, a career break, or learn a new skill and pursue a different kind of work.

You can always go back. Work will always be there.

I took a break for about 18 months in my mid-30's. I pursued something completely different. My spouse was the breadwinner, and we managed through it. It was good. Really, really good.

The two biggest headwinds that I fought were my own expectations of myself (I could be doing/earning more), and worrying about how other people viewed what I was doing (why did he quit such a "good" job?). Managing those things wasn't easy. But, looking back, would I do it again? Heck yeah.

 

[rosystatic]

Thank you. If I did take a break, it likely wouldn’t be for long. Health insurance is a must with a young family. Part of my burnout is honestly my own ambition, so too much idle time would probably be hard for me too. The larger piece is looking at our middle-aged kids and realizing how limited this season really is, and thinking more intentionally about what we’re trying to build and achieve. We don’t have extravagant retirement goals—just a comfortable future, maybe some travel now and then. We do have an advisor meeting coming up, and it feels like a good opportunity to talk through some realistic scenarios we haven’t brought up before.

Welcome.

If you run your own projections, I'm guessing you'll discover a financial possibility to step back or do something different while you re-assess or re-baseline your goals.

I think it's OK to take a break, generally speaking. It can be whatever you want it to be. A sabbatical, a career break, or learn a new skill and pursue a different kind of work.

You can always go back. Work will always be there.

I took a break for about 18 months in my mid-30's. I pursued something completely different. My spouse was the breadwinner, and we managed through it. It was good. Really, really good.

The two biggest headwinds that I fought were my own expectations of myself (I could be doing/earning more), and worrying about how other people viewed what I was doing (why did he quit such a "good" job?). Managing those things wasn't easy. But, looking back, would I do it again? Heck yeah.

Thank you. If I did take a break, it likely wouldn’t be for long. Health insurance is a must with a young family. Part of my burnout is honestly my own ambition, so too much idle time would probably be hard for me too. The larger piece is looking at our middle-aged kids and realizing how limited this season really is, and thinking more intentionally about what we’re trying to build and achieve. We don’t have extravagant retirement goals—just a comfortable future, maybe some travel now and then. We do have an advisor meeting coming up, and it feels like a good opportunity to talk through some realistic scenarios we haven’t brought up before. The comment, work will always be there. So true.

 

[GoBirds]

Any feelers on whether declining this role will change the company’s perspective on your future with them?

 

[Aerides]

Here's the one issue I see. At 40, declining a promotion is a signal to your management that "she' not that into this" and you won't get asked again. People higher up will remember. In many companies, you'll be tagged as no longer a prospect for higher roles. Stepping into a lesser role also means you have to be happy to stay there.

A few years down the road..." Right, kids are in high school, I'm 45 and ready to step up again! - the response to that may well be crickets. You'll also find that's about where ageism starts to show up.

So, just have a strategy in mind that aligns with the idea that once you downshift, reversing that later might not be easy. If your plans allow you to slow down and keep at a new status quo for the remaining working years, great.

ETA: I say the above as someone who deliberately took a lateral director role that I knew was a dead end, a "someone needs to do it" job that gave me better work-from-home options. I knew it meant the VP-prospect discussions would dry up, but I also knew I was 5 years from the finish line. I coached my project managers (the good ones) to get the heck out of my team if they wanted careers as well.

 

[rosystatic]

Any feelers on whether declining this role will change the company’s perspective on your future with them?

No, I declined it 6 months ago and have supported a new VP through transition.

 

[rosystatic]

No, I declined it 6 months ago and have supported a new VP through transition

 

[rosystatic]

Here's the one issue I see. At 40, declining a promotion is a signal to your management that "she' not that into this" and you won't get asked again. People higher up will remember. In many companies, you'll be tagged as no longer a prospect for higher roles. Stepping into a lesser role also means you have to be happy to stay there.

A few years down the road..." Right, kids are in high school, I'm 45 and ready to step up again! - the response to that may well be crickets. You'll also find that's about where ageism starts to show up.

So, just have a strategy in mind that aligns with the idea that once you downshift, reversing that later might not be easy. If your plans allow you to slow down and keep at a new status quo for the remaining working years, great.

ETA: I say the above as someone who deliberately took a lateral director role that I knew was a dead end, a "someone needs to do it" job that gave me better work-from-home options. I knew it meant the VP-prospect discussions would dry up, but I also knew I was 5 years from the finish line. I coached my project managers (the good ones) to get the heck out of my team if they wanted careers as well.

Yes. I turned it down 6 months ago, knowing this would be a risk. I had already made the decision we would retire early or would for sure be in a lesser role by 50. Now, I am thinking about time with my kids. I am continuously engaged with work. I have better boundaries now, but the biggest factor would be giving up responsibility over 24/7 company and finding mental freedom that would come with that.

 

[Koolau]

I never had the opportunity to advance dramatically so I don't know what it would be like to turn down such an opportunity. I endorse your thinking on the subject, however. I hope it all w*rks out for you.

I'm the kind of person who (given your situation) would worry about my future once declining an opportunity. Apparently, that has not been a problem to you and I'm glad for you.

I hope you post often and keep us up to date on your progress within your w*rk life AND your progress toward Early Retirement.

All the best and welcome to the Forum.

 

[NameTaken2]

I'd approach this from the perspective of a parent. How are things at home, regarding the kids you are raising? Are you getting enough quality time as a family, and your kids are doing well?
How many hrs/week does your stressful, demanding job require? If excessive, as well as being "on call" 24/7 with unexpected developments that often cancel plans or ruin off days, that's also a factor.
How is your health -are you able to exercise and manage the stress to stay healthy?
Are you living well below your means, minimizing the risk of a change to a lower-paying position/career?
Your husband is also a working professional, but has no family health insurance coverage since that's a factor?

Your decision will be personal, based on the above and other considerations. It's nice to get perspective on the experience of others who downshifted, but your own circumstances are unique -and most important.
Good luck!

 

[Cassius King]

Congrats, you're hard work has provided you with options. Your career burnout and future financial independence have aligned at the right time.

There will always be the opportunity to make more money. You will never get the chance to raise and spend time with your kids at these ages again. They're grown and on their own in the blink of an eye.

 

[old medic]

1st off, welcome to the forum. Tons of great info and smart folks...
Buying back time caught me as my wife did just that... She purchased 18 months of time she had work as a temp with the state and used 401K tax deferred moneys to boot. She will retire this Oct at 58.
Her pension will be at 85% of full, but we rather have the time than the money.

 

[Love This Community]

Welcome to the forum from a fellow Midwesterner.
As COcheesehead mentioned, it could be a midlife crisis. Gosh, looks like midlife crisis age range is from 30 - 50 . On a serious note, if you're happy with the current role and are able to manage stress and balance your family time, consider continuing for a year or two and reassess your situation while adding to your savings. This would give more options. I believe once people reach a certain financial floor, existential questions keep popping up and mind plays tricks depending on how long one wants to ruminate on the thoughts and go deeper into that rabbit hole. I'm not a psychologist and this has been my observation from people within my friends circle. If you've been busy dedicating your life to work and family, try carving out some time for physical activity (a sport / yoga / martial arts / meditation). If you posted here, I'm sure you must've been running scenarios in your mind for a while and sometimes it helps to break that pattern. If after a few months or a year, the thoughts still persist, you can make a decision. You can throw this advice completely out the window as I'm SGOTI.

As others have mentioned, kudos to you for building a good nest egg that gives you options.

 

[Surewhitey]

In regards to going back to w*rk after taking a break, we did just that and never had a problem getting back into a position with manufacturing (me) and insurance (DW) after a 3 year hiatus. I'd do it again...

I was just saying I have more real memories of those times vs anywhere else we've lived probably due to 100% not working & having those experiences.

Upon returning in 2015, we both found employment we wanted (not just needed) in a month or two & bought a house within 4 months 1 street over from DD... Everything just worked out.

 

[TickTock]

I don’t necessarily want to stop working. I’d want to stay in my field, but in a role with far less responsibility and mental load. Health insurance is a real factor, so stepping away completely isn’t an option!

I think you already know what to do.

To answer your question, neither DW nor I downshifted before retirement. We judged the stress-to-money ratio was worth it for us. But that's us, not you.

Get a good handle on how much your household spends - that will help guide you on how close you are to full retirement.

I also suggest reading some books on downshifting. I like Bob Clyatt's "Work Less, Live More" - although I'm not enthusiastic on his suggested portfolio. YMMV.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

 

[Patience]

Congratulations on all the great progress.

So many of us have faced midlife burn out on this accelerated path.

I advocate for health. Your kids may be entering the age where they need a chauffeur more than anything. A more loose work schedule allows you to participate in that as well as prioritizing your own well being.

8-9 hours of sleep
Shop healthy foods grown locally
Make your meals - all of them.
Walk every day
Lift heavy things often
Stretch
Watch the birds while the sun sets or rises
Touch grass

If you're not doing this in your 40s already, I recommend slowing down at work.

I sacrificed my health for the job. Don't be me.

 

[Diogenes]

... I had already made the decision we would retire early or would for sure be in a lesser role by 50. Now, I am thinking about time with my kids. ...

Former Midwesterner chiming-in.... but not a parent. In fact I much resented the office-expectations that an upstanding adult of a certain age ought to have kids. Parents resented me for being (in their view) a flighty dissolute fellow who never settled down and never duly accepted adult responsibilities.

Another consideration: at 40 I was aiming for an intense but brief career. Go set the world afire (in a laudable way), then take an early-out at 45, maybe at 50 at the outside. Those middle-years were for burnishing one's reputation, making money, getting promoted, becoming recognized and so on. Seeing so many dedicated senior people in their 60s and 70s, I resolved to avoid their fate. Why be hanging around the office at that age? Retire, ceding the field to the younger and more eager folk. Then in my mid-40s I suffered a career disaster, and to some extent am still recovering. Point being, that one's early 40s are an especially antsy and irritable time, when we're old-enough to feel burned out and jaded, while also growing dismayed that a "normal" career track means another 20 years of doing this stuff. We yearn for a near-term exit, the nearer the better.

Now some years later, I'm less sure. What's the optimal trade-off? Age brings diminished clarity, which inversely (ironically?) is a clarity all of its own.

Best approach now, perhaps, is to do exactly what the OP is doing... ease off from the workplace accelerator pedal. Become just a bit less frenetically engaged in all things workplace-related. Keep going, keep saving, keep investing, and reevaluate annually. Eventually the "optimal" idea will come.

 

[sergio]

Midwesterner here in a similar financial situation, similar age. $1.3M with kids is well above-average when compared to the general population, but not even close to quitting money IMO.

In this job market, I would've taken the role. Low-stress roles are not exactly easy to come by. Companies are often reluctant to hire "overqualified" candidates for easier roles, especially nowadays when there is a surplus of applicants with each job opening. Low stress "easy" roles are also the most likely to be outsourced, automated, replaced with AI, replaced with a younger cheaper employee, or simply cut.

Age-ism is a also real thing once you start getting into your mid-late 40s. Moving up the ranks is one way to minimize this risk.

Can you survive a situation where either you or your spouse loses their job for 1-2 years, the economy continues a downward trend for several years, and someone in your family has a major, expensive health issue? Toss in a roof replacement or complete car breakdown as well for good measure.

Best of luck to you! In a perfect world I would 100% support scaling back, but nowadays it's just too crazy out there.

 

[2cheap2eat]

I’ve spent the last 20 years building my career.

Recently, I had the opportunity to step into what had long been one of my major career goals: a Service Line VP role. After a lot of thoughtful conversations—and some honest reflection about personal burnout—I decided to decline it.

That decision opened the door to an even bigger question:

Do I still want to keep doing what I’m doing now?

I currently lead a large team across multiple departments, and while I’ve taken pride in the responsibility, I’m also realizing success can come with a cost.

My husband and I are both working professionals in our early 40s, raising kids in the Midwest with a lower cost of living. We’ve been diligent savers and have built roughly $1.3 million in retirement accounts (closer to $1.4 million including our kids’ 529 plans), with no vehicle payments and no desire to keep up with anyone else.

Because of that, I’m starting to seriously ask whether taking a lower-stress role at 40, or even stepping back financially for a season, might actually be the smarter move.

Less title. Less stress. More time. More presence. More life.

I’m in a season of re-evaluating ambition, family, burnout, and what “enough” really looks like.

Has anyone in the Midwest, in a similar stage of life, taken a lesser role or stepped back professionally and still found that you remained financially stable and secure?

I think we’re doing okay, but I had very little financial modeling growing up, so sometimes it’s hard to know what “okay” even looks like.

I’m in total agreement, higher up the corporate ladder means more hours & stress! Unless you get into Executive Management, not worth it. Better to invest and enjoy life along the way, outside of work!!

 

[winyaz]

I highly recommend choosing life over work. For about a year in the middle of my career and then the last 2 years at the end, I was able to get a part time schedule, 35 hours, 4 days a week - with an associated paycut. Very uncommon in IT. Not only is there one less day of work but there is one more day of time off, and it really felt like a 2 day difference to me. Twice during my career I took a 1/3 paycut, once to work from home (back in 1996) and once after a layoff to take a less stressful job.

FYI, I retired for good at 60 and despite choosing life over money, we still have plenty of money.