BUYING is such an addictive behavior and is there a cure for it??

[Enuff2Eat]

All,

I love buying period. The act of buying so addictive that we buy online and just about anywhere we can find a deal. Our recent big ticket item includes a 50" plasma TV which is now $300-$400 less than what we paid for at christmas time... Don't even mention digital cameras, iPod and "fancy" cell phones... they sucked me up dried.

help... how am i suppose to get the RE land if i am keeping doing things like this? does anyone here have the same disease at i do?? what's the cure for it?

enuff

your comment is appreciated

 

[wabmester]

The cure is watching the stuff fill up your house while it depreciates to $0. It doesn't take long to get tired of that.

 

[Donzo]

Before retiring - I would often buy things that I did'nt "need" like more chrome for my bike and "dohickeys" for the RV etc -

But since getting free from work life - I have stopped buying and do not miss it - I spend more time taking care of what I already own and look forward to getting rid of alot of the stuff that I don't use.

 

[kaudrey]

Budget (and don't go over budget). Set goals (when do you want to retire, and how do you plan to get there?). Pay yourself first (if you don't see the money, you can't miss it). Hide the credit cards (no more online buying).

Ask yourself things like this when you want to buy: Do I need this? Will this purchase derail my retirement goals? (Answer is YES).

Promise yourself that you will wait a day (week/month) before making a big purchase.

Buy mutual funds instead of things. Say: If I don't buy this electronic-thingie, I can buy more Vanguard Total Stock Market Index and help toward my retirement! Watch your balance go up as a reward.

Buying doesn't have to be addictive. But it will take a while for you to change your mindset. You have to really WANT to RE and have a plan for it, not think of it in the abstract.

How much of your income do you save? Need incentive? Are you competitive? I save 30% of my salary. Others on this board save even more. To get to RE, you'll probably have to join us.

Karen

 

[Fireup2020]

I dog ear the pages of stuff that interests me in catalogs...then wait a few days...usually end up NOT purchasing...the gloating about not spending $$$ becomes addictive too For the stuff I really want, I make a big deal researching it (pricing, consumer reports, etc) - to get the BEST deal I can find....then gloat about all the $$$ I did save on my "frivolosities" (skis, kayak, mountain bike, the goodies to go with, etc....)

Good luck!

 

[runchman]

When you are tempted to buy, take a walk around your house and notice all the 'stuff' that you've bought in the past....remember how exciting the time was leading up to the purchase and how you just 'had' to have it.

Then think about how (non) excited you are about that item now, and how quickly that pre-purchase excitement died off once you acquired the item.

Then you tell yourself "Oh but this is different I really want this..." and then buy it anyway

- John

 

[TromboneAl]

Here's one treatment: Go to garage sales. You can satisfy the urge for much less money -- seriously.

We had an unusually productive Saturday:

Addidas Backpack, perfect condition: Free
Shop Vac (replaced mine that broke months ago): $3
Newer version of Trivial Pursuit: $1
Telephone (to replace one that broke): $1
Four books: $1.50
6 in 1 USB card reader: $1
Shortie wetsuit for Southern California surf trip: $4
O'Neill full wetsuit for when mine wears out: $4
Cookbooks: $1
Sweater for wife to unravel and reknit: 25 cents

 

[haha]

Humans enjoy consummation; buying a desired object is a very direct and easily accomplished consummation.

Thus as you have discovered, it can become addictive.

I was very frugal as a child and student and young man, then later got pretty free with money. Mostly since coming to this board I have again backed away from excess consumption.

I have two main techniques to keep it under control. One is displacement. I don't go into a Starbucks and grab a $2.50 coffee every day (in fact I hate Starbucks!) but I do go at least once or twice a week to a good coffee house where I have a very high likelihood of being satisfied with the coffee and the ambiance. I have traded intensity of experience for frequency.

Another ploy is to transfer some buying pleasure to buying food. It is someting I must buy anyway right? I am a picky customer at the fish market or the butcher shop, but I let the sellers know what I am looking for, and I express my appreciation when they have a nice looking steak or filet.

For me this can be a big buying pleasure. I walk home with it and plan how to prepare it. I don't eat cheaply, but it's a lot smaller drain than a diet of plasma TVs!

Another factor which may not have influenced you but can be a goad to buying is the social reinforcement one gets from a good salesperson in a high end establishment. Go shopping for a BMW or an Audi as I recently did with a son for an idea of what I mean. Same with high end women's or men's clothing store. It may be that no one pays as much attention to us, to who we really are or want to be, as a skilled salesman of luxury goods. One defense against that is to strive for a broad range of satisfying social interactions outside of the marketplace.

There are support groups, which may sound corny but I think would likely be quite helpful. I have never considered myself a particualrly addictive personality, but I could become addicted to "Hi, I'm Ha, and I'm powerless over life... "Hi Ha!!!

And don’t forget the social reinforcement of frugality found right here on this board. Come frequently and linger!

Ha

 

[JustCurious]

One thing I have done to channel my spending desires is to take up an interest in coins, especially bullion. I spend a lot of time researching and looking at various bullion coins, including American Eagles, Chinese Pandas, etc. When you buy a coin, you fullfil your desire to purchase something, and you end up with something that retains most of its value, and sometimes actually increases in value (as opposed to a trinket which usually depriciates to close to zero). Of course there are markups to be paid since coin dealers have to make a living, and there are small buy/sell spreads, but for the most part, you can sell bullion coins for almost as much as you paid for them.

 

[modhatter]

I understand your problem. I think it is something that fills a void in our life, but really never briings the happiness or feeling of contentment that we all crave. I don't know what it is myself, and I question my own abillity to be able to stop when I retire, though I must stop.

Many people on this board have been sucessful it seems in living a frugal life style and denying themselves all the latest and greatest toys available out there.
I simply like "new technology". I don't care about fancy cars, or clothes, or expensive restaurants but do have a hard time not spending money on new technology. Go figure.

I am also a decorating nut, and really enjoy living in a esthetically pleasing enviornment. It need not be a mansion, even a 1000 sq. ft. townhouse might do, but it better be very pleasing to the eye or I won't like living there.

I wilsh I could rid myself of these quirks, but I don't know if I can. I may be able to buy less tech toys when I retire out of necessity, but I don't think I could ever adjust to living in a place that I did not find very pleasing to the eye.

I do believe, however, that spending money on things that are really "not necessary" to have, is going to be a hard habit to break, and does cause me some concern. As an example. I purchased two 32" Sony TV's for the bedrooms last year ($1,600 each) and I have been strugling with NOT buying a large plasma or LCD for the family room. I have an old large 56" rear projection type there now that still works, though the picture sucks in comparison.

Everytime I go into Costco, I make a b-line for the Plasma TV's and get such a strong urge to buy one. I will say that holding out pays, as the prices keep coming down. But buying a new plasma means also buying a new furniture console which would be another $2,000. So it's not just the tv.

Anyway, how alone are we? Anyone else facing similar questions of future descipline in our spending habits. Going from having the money to buy whatever I want when I want it, to not having the money to buy whatever I want when I want it, may be a tough habit to break. I THINK/

 

[SecondCor521]

Two suggestions:

1. Read "Your Money or Your Life" by Dominguez and Robin. Then calculate how many hours of your life you need to spend at work to buy X.

2. Build and maintain a net worth spreadsheet and value your high-tech goodies at what you could sell them for on the open market (craigslist or ebay or whatever). See how long you like setting fire to $100 bills.

2Cor521

 

[Nords]

help... how am i suppose to get the RE land if i am keeping doing things like this? does anyone here have the same disease at i do?? what's the cure for it?

"I used to have a drug problem... now I make enough money to afford it."
-- David Lee Roth

Unfortunately it's always easier to reduce your expenses than to boost your income. It'd help a lot if you could understand why you buy and what triggers the urge. But otherwise your buying disease will not get past the "RE land" immigration authorities.

Here's one treatment: Go to garage sales. You can satisfy the urge for much less money -- seriously.

That's really impressive!

Spouse does this every Saturday morning for a couple hours... we'll never buy retail sunscreen, bug spray, tchotchkes, or plants ever again. And once or twice a year I'll get a critical-response logistics phone call from her: "Bring $$ and meet me at this address with the Taurus, tarps, and tie-downs right now." Never regretted it.

 

[Fireup2020]

Nords,
How do you not buy retail sunscreen or bug spray? Plants & other things - totally in agreement...but sunblock from a yard sale

 

[sweetana3]

A lot of what we buy is because of marketing. Stay away from ads. All ads. It may mean no more decorating magazines, no more checking out the newspaper sales, no more shopping for fun, no more mall or store walking.

Just getting rid of the magazines and avoiding the stores made me much more satisfied with what I have.

Do some research on what other countries have in middle class families, get some of your time donated to those less fortunate.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

sorry, i do not like shopping so i can not relate.

 

[SecondCor521]

Another thought:

Make a buying list. Put everything on it you want to buy. Divide the list into needs and wants. Only buy the needs.

For me, needs are anything without which my death will be significantly hastened. As I define it, my only needs are air, water, food, shelter (house/clothing), and basic medical and dental care. Everything else is a want.

Right now I probably have about a hundred items on my buy list and only a few on my need list.

2Cor521

 

[haha]

For me, needs are anything without which my death will be significantly hastened. As I define it, my only needs are air, water, food, shelter (house/clothing), and basic medical and dental care. Everything else is a want.

Right now I probably have about a hundred items on my buy list and only a few on my need list.

People's personalities differ so much. What works for one person would seem impossibly dreary for another. I mean satisfying needs only- holy cow!

Anyone who can walk into a Costco and see those fantastic TV screens without at least wanting one must be a different species from me.

Ha

 

[wabmester]

Anyone who can walk into a Costco and see those fantastic TV screens without at least wanting one must be a different species from me.

Yeah, probably the species who bought one last year just to see the price cut in half a few months later.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

quitting shopping is like quitting living.. no, i meant smoking. it ain't that easy to do.


no excuses, i will try to use some of yours advice.

enuff

 

[Nords]

Anyone who can walk into a Costco and see those fantastic TV screens without at least wanting one must be a different species from me.

Whew, I'm sure that's a relief to both of us...

 

[FinanceDude]

The cure is watching the stuff fill up your house while it depreciates to $0. It doesn't take long to get tired of that.

Good one!! I just had to clean up my monitor on that? Do you do seminars??

 

[flipstress]

2ndCor,
Love is a need ...I mean loving and being loved--at the very least friendship and affection--are social needs (at least for most "normal" people). They could explain why we buy things that we think will make us more acceptable or attractive to other people. Then, there's the need for fulfillment, meaning, etc...

To the OP,
Lots of good constructive suggestions here already, but if punishment works for you, try cleaning and dusting and organizing your own house on a regular basis, like everyday or every week. I have lots of clothes and shoes and books, and when I keep up on the housekeeping and launder, iron, put away, dust, shine, vacuum the bookshelves and under them, I see how much I have and it cures me for a little while of my buying addictions.

Maybe the above won't work so much for techno gadgets, so you could try watching all your TV's, listening to all your stereos, radios, I-pods, and using your cellphone, PCs, and gadgets without break for like a couple of days. It might cure you for a while...but then again, that might be your definition of heaven...

 

[Fireup2020]

Well, I just bought a copy of YMOYL(since so many on the board swear by this book)...on half.com for about $8 including shipping. Beats the full price listed on The Simple Living network! See, you can buy the stuff you "want" and get it for LESS

 

[BigMoneyJim]

Avoid magazines and ads of any sort. It really does reduce your desire for the new gadgets when you're not reading reviews of them and how nifty they are.

Even hobby mags like photo magazines or R/C or computer news will sneak in all sorts of reasons to buy new stuff.

I don't recall why I quit reading such stuff, but I found my desire to buy things dropped drastically when I did. I guess Madison Avenue really knows what it's doing.

 

[MasterBlaster]

Taking a step back...

really, all of us would enjoy spending gobs of money it's just human nature. Our wants are unlimited but our resources are finite.

That's where some common sense/maturity comes in. We buy what we need (plus a little) and skip the fluff. To do otherwise such that you put your long-term livelihood at stake is unwise.