Caregivers drain woman's estate

[zippy2020]

From millionaire to financial ruin: S.F. woman’s family says her caregivers drained all her money
SF Chronicle 26Oct2024
[free link] From millionaire to financial ruin
======
OP Note:

Interestingly, one of my friends said her parents were defrauded by personal caregivers. The mother had severe dementia, and the father began to slowly decline (he was later diagnosed officially with mild-to-moderate senile dementia, a few years after the mother’s death). The parents were steadfast “I’m going to die in my own home” believers.

Despite the family living nearby, after almost a decade the father came to rely so completely on the caregiver, he refused to fire her – even after he caught her putting into her car a trash bag full of items stolen from the house, including some of the mother’s jewelry.

He refused to give up financial control, so his family had no way to control his spending without the doctors signing off. When questioned, they admitted that legally, he remained of sufficiently sound mind to manage his affairs.

Two years after the mother’s death, he began talking about marrying the caregiver – he had already bought her a new car – and was only stopped by his daughter insisting he move closer to her home so he would be able to visit his grandchildren (the only excuse she figured he would accept).

Doing so finally broke the caregiver’s hold on him. It was far enough away that she couldn’t easily visit him. Without those daily visits, the father gained other interests from nearby seniors, including buying himself a new home and doing some minor remodeling on it.

The drain on the estate assets was kept to less than $350K and the family feels themselves lucky it wasn’t worse.

 

[street]

Wow!!!
Crooks everywhere trying to steal from the honest. Very sad!!!

 

[OldShooter]

A very common story. DW was vice chair of our state's board on aging and her number is that 80% of elders have been financially abused to one degree or another. Most common is family, where the elder is ashamed and won't press charges.

One caregiver story I recall was a caregiver who was an authorized signer on the client's checking account so she could buy groceries. She proceeded to buy both the client's groceries and her family's groceries from that checkbook.

 

[Koolau]

Kinda hope there is an inner circle of hell for such folks.

 

[pacergal]

So sad, but also frightening how many seniors are taken advantage of, both by strangers and family.

 

[Car-Guy]

A very common story. DW was vice chair of our state's board on aging and her number is that 80% of elders have been financially abused to one degree or another. Most common is family, where the elder is ashamed and won't press charges.

One could make the argument that's a unintended function of Medicare and/or the medical industry in general.

 

[MichaelB]

One could make the argument that's an unintended function of Medicare and/or the medical industry in general.

That’s a different rabbit hole and not one we want to go down.

 

[jazz4cash]

SF Chronicle story is hard to swollow. So many red flags that were only noticed after the fact. Seems like her Dr should’ve known something wasn’t right. Her companion had 30x bigger portfolio with same caregivers. They were really really good at concealing their abuse.

I am thinking long and hard if this could happen to any of my friends or family. Trying to let them live their life but staying alert to problems.

 

[folivier]

As my dad was progressing with dementia and parkinson's we saw red flags with one of his sitters. Also he was talking about making some sketchy investments. After discussing this with his doctor who was a good family friend we decided that to protect him we had to have him declared incompetent by the courts. I took on that task and it was emotionally very difficult. But it preserved his assets and we were able to get him better care. Thankfully we lived in the same town so it was easier to see what was going on and help him.

 

[EastWest Gal]

I was already managing my dad's assets when he had a brain hemorrhage due to his anticoagulants. He had a lot of confusion after that. Being financially stable myself kept his assets safe from predators (I'm not sure even my sister would have been as trustworthy. She's a good person but her financial situation was a bit dicey).

 

[Sunset]

I think anywhere there is $$$$ and a lack of oversight/double checking there is the potential for stealing.

When I worked in a group home, for retarded adults, we had to grocery shop each week for the food. Each week 1 counsellor and 1 client would go and buy groceries for a week for 10 people.

One time, as groceries were being unloaded from a fellow counsellor car trunk, I noticed an extra bag of groceries that remained in the trunk. I asked about the extra bag, and later talked to supervisor about it. Nothing could be proven, but that counsellor never "did their own grocery shopping" at the same time anymore.

Clients of course, being in the care of counsellors didn't have the capacity to know if theft was occurring and by default trusted the counsellor.

 

[MichaelB]

A very common story.

I agree. Caregivers tried to take advantage of both my parents. My pops was unable to make it happen, and by coincidence I showed up just when a caregiver was trying to take advantage of my mum.

My mum worked as a public health nurse and her patient group was mostly seniors. She said nurses and aides / caregivers regularly tried to take advantage of elderly patients and this was well known problem in hospitals, SNFs and long term care homes.