Children Running Wild in Public Places

[Texas Proud]

Would you say the same thing if it was a bunch of large dogs running around chasing each other, bumping into old people in, say, a public park and knocking them down? Would that be that okay with you just because "dogs are being dogs"? There is such a concept as parental (or pet-owner) responsibility, where you don't allow your kids/pets/whatever to recklessly annoy people out in public and intrude upon their personal space.

I would say there is a whole lot of difference in kids running around making a lot of noise etc. vs kids bumping into old people knocking them down... I know OP said they ran into people which is very bad IMO...

To me it matters where it is happening... if it is supposed to be a quiet place, or quieter such as church, movies, even the store... then it irritates me... if it is outdoors where there can be a lot of noise not so much...

 

[Sojourner]

I would say there is a whole lot of difference in kids running around making a lot of noise etc. vs kids bumping into old people knocking them down... I know OP said they ran into people which is very bad IMO...

To me it matters where it is happening... if it is supposed to be a quiet place, or quieter such as church, movies, even the store... then it irritates me... if it is outdoors where there can be a lot of noise not so much...

I agree, but only to a point. The OP did say the kids were knocking into people, which IMHO is totally unacceptable even in public. The parents should reign them in. Just like pet owners should not let their dogs run up to people in a public park and jump up on them and lick them, etc. It's an invasion of people's personal space.

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

I've seen signs like this one in restaurants and some public offices, like the DMV.

View attachment 51850

Very much like this sign at our veterinarian's office:

 

[momoney]

Just saw this thread. Yes, giving one's children a longer leash than when I was that age seems to be the trend. But only in certain respects. For example, in the '60s and '70s we kids played in the woods far from our homes, skated on iced-over ponds, rode our bikes far from home (without helmets), explored construction sites, and basically did whatever we wanted so long as we were home by dinner time. Nowadays, the streets and woods are apparently deemed too dangerous, but in places where the parents remain nearby they seem to allow their children to run around unchecked. In contrast, when our parents were nearby we were expected to remain more or less quiet.

We never had the money for family dining out or entertainment. But then we weren't allowed to get "crazy" indoors and our house was nothing fancy.

 

[ls99]

In 70 ies in the Dutch Harbor AK, airport the sign read: Children running loose and unattended will bo towed away at owners expense.

Not at all related, In the bathroom the sign said: Please do not drop cigarette butts in the urinal, makes them soggy and hard to re-light.

 

[Aerides]

I guess it's situational.

Restaurant? McDonalds to Applebees - expected, and you're kinda in young family territory. Fancier, after 7pm? Not cool. I am careful with table selection and will specify to the hostess, that, no, I do not want to be near large groups or small children. I seek a corner or a booth to help avoid this, or go to places that just aren't kid friendly.

Of course, no matter where you go, there are parents who think their children are perfect, and require no supervision or...manners.

But if they are old enough to understand "No" and "sit down" then I blame the parents (and that's the main difference vs. pets). At least these days they can shove a phone in their hands.

 

[youbet]

Any one else noticing this? Any suggestions? Should I just stay home?

We haven't noticed the presence of unruly, unsupervised children to be anymore present today than in the past. It happened from time to time years ago and it happens from time to time today. Our level of annoyance depends on the venue. A few little ones running and laughing in the hallways of our church building is ok (as long as they are ushered into Sunday school rooms when service starts) because it's Sunday morning and families are encouraged to attend. Kids running around and causing a ruckus at 8 PM on a Saturday evening at our favorite restaurant, not so much.

 

[skipro33]

Maybe I am just getting old but it seems to me lately that when I am in a public place (like a restaurant, a music venue and even church) there are groups of unsupervised children running wild, bumping into people and screeching. Usually these children appear to be ages 3 to 10. Their parents are no where to be found. Last night I was at an outdoor music event with a dance floor. Children took over the dance floor (not dancing, mainly running in circles) and when we tried to dance we were almost knocked over. We spoke to the manager of the venue and they said they could not find the parents. We gave up and left. Any one else noticing this? Any suggestions? Should I just stay home?

In situations like this, I show the manager the inside of my wallet and tell him I'm taking it somewhere else. It's not just your business he lost, it's the damage those hellions are doing as well. One of them knocks me down, I'm leaving in an ambulance with names of kids, parents, managers and owners.
Asking nice gets you nowhere it seems these days. Play by their rules.

 

[Route246]

Let kids be kids.

Agree. I was probably one of those kids. I also observed old people acting grumpy and intolerant from a relatively young age and I vowed when I became one of those old people as I am now that I would never, ever complain or disapprove of anything children did, I would also never judge their parents.

Children are the future and I am the past. My time to have joyful exuberance, regardless of how rude and obnoxious I was, is over and I prefer to make room for the younger generation to enjoy themselves. I did some rude things growing up and probably annoyed more than my share of old people like me today, I got sh-faced drunk in my youth and made a complete fool out of myself but I graduated 3rd in my undergraduate class, near the top of my graduate class and managed to have a nice career and raised a family and lived the American dream that my parents wanted so badly for us.

It is a personal choice of mine but I never wanted to be that grumpy old uncle or grandfather, I never reminisce with younger people about "back in the day" and I try to listen without interrupting even though my instinct wants me to. I take interest in what young people are thinking about, about their language and slang and more importantly what their goals are in life. I try to mentor and advise when they are open to it and mind my own business when they are not.

The one thing I am slightly intolerant of is not taking personal responsibility for actions. Adversity builds character and the younger generation of designer children from dual-income households where they are bought and paid for is a huge disadvantage once they reach the real world and find out the paved road is not so smooth and trouble-free that they and their parents anticipated for them. If you mess up you need to own it and get over it and move on. In this way I have little tolerance for all of the mental health problems of the privileged youth as I believe those mental health problems are induced by indulging parents who have the means to afford to over-indulge their kids who have no exposure to adversity growing up. They learn self-pity.

As for where I learned most of this is actually from staff and co-workers who "grew up on the other side of the tracks" but somehow built their lives in spite of the adversity. They all tell me that mental health issues are almost non-existent where they come from because you don't survive on the streets feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others. You spend most of your time trying to stay out of law enforcement's way and hope to escape the poverty and adversity by working hard and trying to catch a break along the way.

Sorry for the rant. I just have strong feelings as I deal with being a old guy now.

 

[sunnysideup]

Every time I see a kid screaming, and throwing a tantrum in public, I say to myself “that kid screams and throw tantrums at home”…. My point being that whatever children are allowed to do at home, they will do in public.

I don’t like to judge parents, because I don’t know what they’re going through or what they’re dealing with. But, what I said above stands. If children are allowed to behave as they like at home, without any guidance or supervision or rules, then they will do the same when they’re outside the home…

 

[marko]

This is item #23 on the long list of "signs of the end of our civilization."

Seriously, this seems to be a US thing. Never seen such behavior in Europe.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Every time I see a kid screaming, and throwing a tantrum in public, I say to myself “that kid screams and throw tantrums at home”…. My point being that whatever children are allowed to do at home, they will do in public.

I don’t like to judge parents, because I don’t know what they’re going through or what they’re dealing with. But, what I said above stands. If children are allowed to behave as they like at home, without any guidance or supervision or rules, then they will do the same when they’re outside the home…

My DS was language delayed and would throw tantrums a lot, especially ages 3-4. How do you not "allow" a child to scream? Cover their mouth? No. Spanking? No. Both teach physical violence is acceptable. One has to give little kids some self calming skills, by exhibiting them yourself. When DS did this in public, we removed him from the situation. Tantrums by very young children have little to do with rules, guidance, or supervision. Once he was able to effectively communicate, the problem went away. It seems you are judging parents.

 

[HawkeyeNFO]

Lots of kids in my area aren't raised by the parents anymore. Instead it's the nannies or au pairs. 9 out of 10 of the bad kids around here are from that situation. The nannies and au pairs don't provide or develop the discipline, so the kids learn very early on what they can get away with. The parents are too busy trying to make partner at their firm.

 

[marko]

. When DS did this in public, we removed him from the situation..

That's the difference.

 

[athena53]

I guess it's situational.

Restaurant? McDonalds to Applebees - expected, and you're kinda in young family territory. Fancier, after 7pm? Not cool. I am careful with table selection and will specify to the hostess, that, no, I do not want to be near large groups or small children. I seek a corner or a booth to help avoid this, or go to places that just aren't kid friendly.

I agree on the situational aspect. My grandchildren (10, 7 and 5) get taken to decent restaurants, on planes, in airline lounges... and I ALWAYS make it a point to tell them how glad I am that we can take them to these places because they know how to behave. I've even pointed out instances where they're the only children around. Once we shared a section of an airline lounge with a lady making a quiet phone call and a guy working on his laptop. There was plenty of open space if they found us intrusive and wanted to move. They didn't. We get food for the 5-year old to control quantities and to keep his fingers out of the serving dishes. Big contrast to a family I saw once at the Honolulu lounge where the kids were running all over.

They're a bit louder in the Chicago Children's Museum but we expect that.

ETA: When they were younger (and when DS was little) and they got restless waiting for food in a restaurant, I'd pick them up and walk them around, or hold them by the hand, staying out of the way of staff and other diners. If the kitchen was visible, that was a great place to watch. DDIL ALWAYS has quiet card or sorting games with us that they can play while waiting. Just takes a little planning and understanding of their limitations.

 

[brett]

This is item #23 on the long list of "signs of the end of our civilization."

Seriously, this seems to be a US thing. Never seen such behavior in Europe.

Absolutely. Same as obesity in children and teens.

Visitors we know from Europe and Asia to the US really notice it.

 

[harllee]

OP here, I have recently revisited the music venue where I had the bad experience with children bumping into me while running wild on the dance floor. This time there were no children to be seen. I was told that there were so many complaints that the management had asked the offending parents (it was just 2 families) not to return unless the children behaved. Good for the management!

 

[Lorenzo]

Seriously, this seems to be a US thing. Never seen such behavior in Europe.

I had thought the same, until on a recent trip to Europe we were talking with a European couple who had three (or four?) small children. While we chatted, the children were running all over, and one of them decided she was going to be best friends with my wife. In my mind I was thinking how as a child I would never have gone up to a friend of my parents' and started chatting about my recent vacation and showing souvenirs. The couple said they let their children run around to a much greater extent than they had been allowed to do as children. They described with approval the behavior of their children on a recent beach vacation: running about among the beachgoers, going into areas they weren't supposed to be, chatting with random adults, and so on. The four of us discussed how it was different in our youth, and the other couple agreed it does seem to be a generational thing. They believe it's beneficial for the children's development to let them run around.

That is of course just one couple, and I can hardly generalize that to children's "behavior in Europe," but my wife and I did later discuss how it was contrary to our stereotype of well-controlled European children. Maybe young children being allowed to run around in public places unfettered to the parents is a more global trend than we thought.

 

[Spock]

If parents always "let kids be kids", the children never learn to be "adults".
There isn't a switch that gets flipped and poof you are now an adult and instantly start fitting in with society. It's an evolutionary process that start with teaching (which requires enforcing) appropriate behaviors in appropriate places and the associated differences.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

I have not noticed any change. I cannot remember the last time I was in a restaurant that had young kids running around unsupervised - unless one counts those places you expect to see them in that mode (e.g. Chuck E. Cheese, fast food restaurants with playgrounds, amusement centers).

When the towns nearby have outdoor concerts with dancing, there are kids running around, but not to the level I consider unusual or getting in the way. Certainly there are exception situations, but I have not seen trend of it getting worse, at least where we live.

Heh, a Chuck E Cheese in my area was notorious for likkered-up parents getting into brawls.

 

[brett]

We tend to be a bit laissez faire.

We tend not to sweat the small stuff or wrap ourselves around the axle over things which we have no control over.

I suspect that people have been complaining about other peoples children (and their parents) for many generations.

We know of a few people who have resolved this by only frequenting adult only resorts, AI's, cruises, etc OR vacationing during those periods when school age children are attending school.

 

[motley]

Maybe I am just getting old but it seems to me lately that when I am in a public place (like a restaurant, a music venue and even church) there are groups of unsupervised children running wild, bumping into people and screeching. Usually these children appear to be ages 3 to 10. Their parents are no where to be found. Last night I was at an outdoor music event with a dance floor. Children took over the dance floor (not dancing, mainly running in circles) and when we tried to dance we were almost knocked over. We spoke to the manager of the venue and they said they could not find the parents. We gave up and left. Any one else noticing this? Any suggestions? Should I just stay home?

By and large, yeah, stay home, because you can't fight that tidal wave. I've noticed it for literally decades. This is the fallout of a society for which discipline gradually became a crime and spoiling kids rotten became all the rage...it really took hold I think about the 70s and the ridiculous BS you see today is just the ripple effect which grows ever larger. This is IMO also why there are so many thin-skinned drama queens around who just look for an excuse to be offended by anything...they grew up spoiled brats, why would they suddenly change? I rarely eat out and never go to movie theaters because of this. This is also why I live on a large, wooded lot, with neighbors as far away as I could afford.

Of course there have always been good and bad parents, but in general we've been trending downward for a long time...kids simply aren't taught manners or disciplined when they step out of line. Parents want to be their kids' "friend" instead of their parent. It's beyond absurd. So many parents have become so stupid, selfish, lazy, and/or cowardly, because they refuse to be "the bad guy" when it's time for discipline, which is just as important as being a loving, nurturing parent. But it's unpleasant, so they just dodge it, clueless to the damage they are doing to their childrens' character. ugh sorry don't mean to soapbox but this has driven me insane for a long time. I see so-called "parents" like this and I just want to push them off a cliff...or at least have them neutered.

 

[motley]

When we were kids and did this, mom or dad would pull us over and give us a few quick swats on the butt.

Do that today and CPS takes away your children.

I actually have some sympathy for parents in this situation because today, the only thing you can do in public is reason with a child. You can't grab them by the wrist. You can't raise your voice (verbal abuse). You can't do anything.

"Reason with a child." Yeah... Right. Maybe for the top 5%.

I hear what you're saying, but not entirely true. You can take child and leave. And yes you can raise your voice to your child...no one's going to take someone's kid away for that. Of course spanking, lol, now days that could practically get you the electric chair for "abuse." But you'll never get in trouble for spoiling a kid rotten...

 

[motley]

I told a friend about the issue with the wild children last night and she told me of a couple of local restaurants that do not permit anyone younger than 18 to come in--I will be checking them out.

I've heard about these places starting to pop up. If one does within even an hour or so drive of me, I'm so there and the first thing I'll do is shake the hand of the owner and thank him/her profusely.

 

[FindingForward]

They described with approval the behavior of their children on a recent beach vacation: running about among the beachgoers, going into areas they weren't supposed to be, chatting with random adults, and so on. The four of us discussed how it was different in our youth, and the other couple agreed it does seem to be a generational thing. They believe it's beneficial for the children's development to let them run around.

Unbelievable. It's probably not "beneficial" to others trying to enjoy their vacation but hey - that's ok - because it's all about THEIR kids, right? No one else in the world matters. Talk about textbook narcissists.