College or car?

[Keim]

Not your kids. Not your car. Not your problem.

Pop the popcorn and enjoy the show.

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

Is it any of my business how much people pay for cars and whether or not they pay for their child's college education? No, it is not.
Do I judge these people and those like them? Yes, yes I do. I'm guessing some people judge my decisions as well.

If someone in this situation were to ask my advice, I would tell them that not only is your child's college education an investment on their future it is an investment on future generations of their family. College education is a social determinant of health.

 

[HarveyS]

The discussion on affordability/value should have been during the college application process. Personally, I do not see any undergrad degree from any college/university worth $400,000 - assuming a bit of inflation and that the student graduates in 4 years. However, if the parents are driving around these cars I feel their claiming "unaffordable" is BS. Of course, YMMV.

 

[PlayinwithFIRE]

I find myself many times writing a long response of my opinions on a subject, only to reread it, and decide to delete it.

Scared, maturing, or just tiredof it all ? heh

pwf

 

[planuntilthefisthits]

I’d be curious about the messaging this young woman has received all her life that allows her to spend her parents money on a high cost option.

Many of here heard frugality messaging, making choices on what to spend money on. My father going on strike brought economic uncertainty and halted spending. I certainly didn’t choose the high cost college option and specifically recall being concerned about the cost of education.

 

[disneysteve]

I'm disappointed by the bias here toward liberal arts education. Some of you seem to equate liberal arts with Basketweaving 101 when it can and does mean Business Administration or Accounting or Nursing or Computer Science or Microbiology or History/Pre-Law or Biology/Pre-Med. I graduated from a small private liberal arts school with a BS in Biology. I went on to medical school and a 34-year career as a primary care and urgent care physician. I highly recommend liberal arts for pretty much any student who wants a good broad education.

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

I’d be curious about the messaging this young woman has received all her life that allows her to spend her parents money on a high cost option.

I’m guessing watching her parents spend ridiculous amounts of money on cars. Maybe she thought that they cared about her more than cars.

 

[disneysteve]

As for costs and 18 year olds being responsible for their own education, those days are long gone. When I started college in 1982, I had many friends who were working their way through school. A part time job during the school year and full time over the summer was enough to pretty much cover the cost, maybe with a little help from the parents or very small loans. That scenario is not possible today. As I said, my daughter's college is now over 61K. That doesn't include books, supplies, travel, entertainment, etc. I don't know of any normal (legal) part time jobs where you can make that kind of money. Heck, if you could work 20 hrs/wk and make 60K, you might not even bother with college at all.

 

[disneysteve]

I’m guessing watching her parents spend ridiculous amounts of money on cars. Maybe she thought that they cared about her more than cars.

Exactly. When you're raised in a household that spends extravagantly like that, 92K probably doesn't seem like anything out of line. And if all of your friends and their families live similarly, even more so.

 

[GrayHare]

And for jobs that may soon be outsourced to AI. A career in HVAC or similar looks more and more appealing. Of course, then by 2040 we might have too many HVAC techs.

 

[Steelpony]

Opinions vary as they should. I’m just responding to the OP and my personal experiences and observations. I paid my way, military service 4 years+, work, Ramen and Tang, cheap living conditions and impound cars. My wife wanted similar for our kids, the old fashioned hard way. I compromised with her and our kids. So no one liked me. I should have let those 2 sides punch it out, lol.

We paid for our 3 but with limits on it like spending money, football tickets, books (they quickly learned to get there first for used books), plus how and where they lived. So tuition and fees, food allowance and any other educational expenses.

They worked in high school and during college. They had skin in the game. Helped them learn money management, a new practical lifetime endeavor. We had saved since their birth sacrificing a lot willingly. So to us it was a gift for the deserving which all 3 were.

I found that was a good compromise. As far as anything further for kids and grandkids unless it’s an emergency for anyone over 18, good luck.

Directly to your last statement. I and my wife wouldn’t have slipped into dependent adult children. We know a few though. I didn’t mean to imply anything. I did state all adults are entitled to spend their earnings any way they want car or gifts to whoever. I would still do it the same way.

If either of us ends up in assisted living, memory care or LTC as deserving parents we look forward to similar treatment. After all everyone saw how we chipped in for my parents.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Tuition at UC Berkeley didn't exist when I was in college. Just a small fee. Still, my parents insisted that my sister and I attend community college for the first two years. Their fee was $35/semester. When I went to medical school, fees were a tiny part of the expense. $250-450/quarter (inflation over the 4 years). Living expenses, books, and supplies were killers. Several of the books were $100 and we couldn't get them used. I graduated from medical school with $40,000 debt. I managed to save $3000 from that through ramen and Tang which mostly paid for our wedding...

If I were the family described, I wouldn't pay for the small liberal arts college. From what I've seen, they don't help you get a good job or get into grad school if that is your direction. Just my 2 cents.

 

[YellowSubmarine]

I get it. The parents are driving above their means. What were their plans for the kid's education?

Which college is charging 90K?

fwiw...Rollins College, Winter Park, FL (visited earlier this week) is $82k/year.

 

[YellowSubmarine]

I have to ask and maybe I'm thinking about this incorrectly. But a friend's daughter got into to her top choice school a small liberal arts college. Cost of attendance is $92k a year. In state at a low ranked school is $38k a year. There are other schools in between. But she was rejected by the in state flagship.

So i get not paying outrageous amounts for college. And feeling $90k is too much for college. But here's my issue and problem with my friend saying it is unaffordable. And I sort of pointed it out and maybe I'm wrong.

Her husband in October 2025 bought a new $160k porshe and she drives a leased BMW SUV $120k. And they have always driven nice BMWs cars.

If college at $92k a year is ridiculous and it is, I guess I feel like then if you didn't buy a $180k porshe after 10% sales tax you could pay for 2 years of University.

I get not borrowing and feeling its a rip off. But really I am struggling with any family suing college is expensive and unaffordable and you drive nearly 400k in cars.

Or am I not getting that the parent deserve to drive luxury cars and her husband drives it daily and is so happy with his purchase? I guess I would say that I differential between in state and lac is $55k and if you scale back to a lesser car shouldn't college become more affordable?

Or is it that you should never pay that much for college?

I wouldn't fight my intuition. If they're into conspicuous consumption, let them do it on their dime. Live and learn before it's too late (kiddos).

 

[Flyfish1]

fwiw...Rollins College, Winter Park, FL (visited earlier this week) is $82k/year.

Made me look my Alma Mater is now $66K before Housing and Food , which brings it to $88K.
OTH I am paying ( in retirement ) $89K to Harvard B School for tuition alone, albeit for only two years. Thank goodness for saving diligently for many, many years in a 529.

 

[Keim]

I'm disappointed by the bias here toward liberal arts education. Some of you seem to equate liberal arts with Basketweaving 101 when it can and does mean Business Administration or Accounting or Nursing or Computer Science or Microbiology or History/Pre-Law or Biology/Pre-Med. I graduated from a small private liberal arts school with a BS in Biology. I went on to medical school and a 34-year career as a primary care and urgent care physician. I highly recommend liberal arts for pretty much any student who wants a good broad education.

I agree. A solid liberal aets degree is a wonderful education. Its done well for my wife and I.

 

[disneysteve]

I wouldn't pay for the small liberal arts college. From what I've seen, they don't help you get a good job or get into grad school

Just know that this simply isn't true. Loads of liberal arts grads go on to grad school and professional careers or straight into good jobs. I'm a liberal arts grad who went on to medical school and a career as a physician just as one example and many of my friends and classmates had similarly great careers due to their liberal arts education. Our daughter graduated with a liberal arts education and became the funding manager for a good size solar and roofing company.

I really don't understand the bad impression so many people have of liberal arts.

 

[RetiredHappy]

It it were to be me, no to most liberal arts college, but yes to STEM degree at Ivy League, MIT, Caltech, Harvey Mudd or Stanford. About 27 years ago when I first moved to the US, I sent my son to a private college prep school and it was $10K a year and went up to $20K a year. I would do that in a heartbeat again.

 

[athena53]

I agree. A solid liberal arts degree is a wonderful education. Its done well for my wife and me.

It certainly can be. I have a BA in Math (but from a state university) and had a great career as an actuary. DS went to Drake in Des Moines, also a Math degree, started in Claims for an insurance company but is now also doing actuarial work.

It varies widely, though. My brother has an acquaintance with a degree in Underwater Archaeology, which I'm sure was a fascinating subject but she struggles to support herself. And then there's the daughter of a friend with an Art History degree (which I never would have funded) who started as a receptionist for a place that does home remodeling with marble. She turned out to be very good with clients and to have a good eye for various marble types- they even send her to Europe to buy for them. I think you need a lot of auxiliary skills to find a job that pays decently (and has health insurance) in some fields.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I have a buddy that drives a UPS truck. Great guy, C- student at the same poor high school I went to. Damn good driver.

He clears over $100k with no student debt at all. Another friend is a high school grad that started a land improvement business. Emplyoys 60 people today. Another is an electrician who started a contracting business. He employs over 100. They are all LOADED today. Not a day of college amongst any of us. I employ myself.

This is not for everyone, but I want to point out there is a point of no return on college eduction. College is great if you have a plan on how to leverage it to your advantage when you graduate.

And a pointer for college graduates. Don't expect the world to fall at your feet when you graduate. I am not discounting a college education. (wish I had one) I only want to warn graduates that a degree alone may not give you what you were sold when you went to college.

 

[GrayHare]

Had a friend who decided that since he'd attended an Ivy, employers would fall over themselves to hire him. They didn't. He had developed no marketable skill. He ended up on the streets, homeless. Very sad to witness.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I have to ask and maybe I'm thinking about this incorrectly. But a friend's daughter got into to her top choice school a small liberal arts college. Cost of attendance is $92k a year. In state at a low ranked school is $38k a year. There are other schools in between. But she was rejected by the in state flagship.

So i get not paying outrageous amounts for college. And feeling $90k is too much for college. But here's my issue and problem with my friend saying it is unaffordable. And I sort of pointed it out and maybe I'm wrong.

Her husband in October 2025 bought a new $160k porshe and she drives a leased BMW SUV $120k. And they have always driven nice BMWs cars.

If college at $92k a year is ridiculous and it is, I guess I feel like then if you didn't buy a $180k porshe after 10% sales tax you could pay for 2 years of University.

I get not borrowing and feeling its a rip off. But really I am struggling with any family suing college is expensive and unaffordable and you drive nearly 400k in cars.

Or am I not getting that the parent deserve to drive luxury cars and her husband drives it daily and is so happy with his purchase? I guess I would say that I differential between in state and lac is $55k and if you scale back to a lesser car shouldn't college become more affordable?

Or is it that you should never pay that much for college?

OP,

You are right on both counts. $92K for college is crazy and so is the amount of money the parents have spent on cars,

You have it figured out, Don't take financial advice from these folks.

 

[FD1000]

As usual, the numbers tell the real story.

What percentage of liberal arts college graduates become physicians?
Approximately 10% of graduates from elite liberal arts colleges eventually become medical doctors.

What percentage of graduates from technology universities work in STEM?
Technology-focused institutions emphasize these fields heavily. Overall, about 52% of college-educated workers with STEM training are employed in STEM jobs. At specialized technology universities such as MIT and Caltech, the percentage is much higher; roughly 80–90% of graduates go on to STEM careers.
But you don't need to go to MIT. My son did his first and second degrees at GA Tech in just 4 years, a lot cheaper. We paid nothing for his tuition. The Georgia HOPE Scholarship currently covers 100% of standard undergraduate tuition at eligible public colleges and universities for students with a 3.0+ GPA.

Given these numbers, is there much doubt about where students have a stronger probability of finding jobs and earning higher pay: liberal arts colleges or technology universities? The difference isn’t even close.

All our kids graduate from university. We paid for their undergraduate studies only if we thought they could find work in that field. It worked pretty well.

 

[Keim]

As usual, the numbers tell the real story.

What percentage of liberal arts college graduates become physicians?
Approximately 10% of graduates from elite liberal arts colleges eventually become medical doctors.

What percentage of graduates from technology universities work in STEM?
Technology-focused institutions emphasize these fields heavily. Overall, about 52% of college-educated workers with STEM training are employed in STEM jobs. At specialized technology universities such as MIT and Caltech, the percentage is much higher; roughly 80–90% of graduates go on to STEM careers.
But you don't need to go to MIT. My son did his first and second degrees at GA Tech in just 4 years, a lot cheaper. We paid nothing for his tuition. The Georgia HOPE Scholarship currently covers 100% of standard undergraduate tuition at eligible public colleges and universities for students with a 3.0+ GPA.

Given these numbers, is there much doubt about where students have a stronger probability of finding jobs and earning higher pay: liberal arts colleges or technology universities? The difference isn’t even close.

I mustve missed the detail about the point of a liberal arts degree being to become a physician.

 

[Koolau]

$92k is too much. Daughter should go to a community college for about two years to take classes that transfer to the flagship State University, then transfer.

^^^^

THIS!

Sounds like the daughter needs to get her academic credentials improved so she can be accepted at the State University. Easy to do if she's committed AND enrolled at a Jr. College.

I went to a State University which is in the top 50 universities in the nation. While it's now what I consider ridiculously expensive, I'm sure a student could complete 4 years there for $100K total. The state community colleges are "cheap" even by that standard.