Date recap in boring detail! Everything went as planned and there may be more fun to come!

[TheWizard]

Here's my experience. We started dating the weekend before Thanksgiving. We agreed early on we would maybe give each other a token gift but nothing expensive. As Christmas got nearer she asked me if I wanted to come with her to meet her family, a 200+ mile drive. I could stay in a guest bedroom for the couple of days we'd be there. I declined.

The day before she left to go home, she gave me my present and told me not to open it until Christmas. Imagine my shock when I opened my present and found a real nice Seiko watch! I can't even remember what I got her but it didn't cost me $250! This was the mid 80's.

The relationship lasted about 8 months. She doted on me. The attention was just too much. Suffocating. I liked it at first but eventually it was overwhelming.

Sorry to hear that...

 

[Pluperfect]

But you should make it clear that's why. "I'd love to see you again, but I know you are very busy with the holidays."

I think it would be better if he said something more general, like the holidays are a busy time for everybody. But I totally agree that something should be said to indicate interest, to not leave anyone hanging.

As for even looking at a phone during a date, that's a huge red flag for me, but I'm biased because I despise our cell phone society. Seems to me if someone's family or friends are requiring a check-in (something I'm not particularly fond of, either), the person should go to the bathroom to do it. Unless, of course, they want to put their date on notice that the cell phone is of at least equal importance as the person on the other side of the table.

 

[flyingaway]

You went home?

 

[SecondCor521]

But I don’t have a clear idea where it will go from here. She’s such a busy woman and helps her daughter with her retail business, volunteers at church activities, does craft work and sews, that she barely has time for anything else, at least that’s my impression.

I'm just SGOTI. I'm also potentially inept or clueless about dating but as my Dad would say "Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn sometimes."

I'm responding to the above really to talk to myself as much as to you: If she is interested and you're important to her, she will make time. If she remains busy and unavailable to you, then, well, you can't push a rope. It does sound like she could just be a person who likes to keep busy.

The rest of your OP sounds like things went really positively.

I really hope she does make time for you and the two of you end up in a situation you're both happy with. I'm always rooting for good relationships!

 

[TheWizard]

I think it would be better if he said something more general, like the holidays are a busy time for everybody. But I totally agree that something should be said to indicate interest, to not leave anyone hanging.

As for even looking at a phone during a date, that's a huge red flag for me, but I'm biased because I despise our cell phone society. Seems to me if someone's family or friends are requiring a check-in (something I'm not particularly fond of, either), the person should go to the bathroom to do it. Unless, of course, they want to put their date on notice that the cell phone is of at least equal importance as the person on the other side of the table.

One of the main advantages of text messages over voice calls is that no immediate response is needed.
They'll still be there an hour from now...

 

[aja8888]

We talked late this afternoon and we are going to go to lunch Wednesday at a place she likes. All is good and she told me she really enjoyed our time together last night.

 

[Flyfish1]

Congrats! A good first date.

 

[Lorenzo]

Yeah..I started dating DH on Halloween. That meant by Thanksgiving, since his parents were visiting, he wanted me to meet them, even though we both acknowledged that was super early, and wouldn't have happened yet if it weren't for the holiday.

I recall a first few dates with a lady around that time of year. One day she called and asked, "So what are we doing for Thanksgiving?" I said, "WE?" She hung up. And that was that.

 

[RetiredHappy]

I recall a first few dates with a lady around that time of year. One day she called and asked, "So what are we doing for Thanksgiving?" I said, "WE?" She hung up. And that was that.

Obviously you didn't like her enough with that reaction to her question.

 

[Lorenzo]

Obviously you didn't like her enough with that reaction to her question.

Perhaps. But there’s more to the story. She was one of the first women I dated after my divorce. To me, Thanksgiving was a family holiday. Maybe I had too much going on in my head, thinking about Thanksgivings past with my ex-wife or other family. This woman was nice, but she was not like family after just a few dates, and her question struck me as a bit presumptuous. I ended up taking a solo road trip to Nashville—a city I had not been to—and having a Thanksgiving dinner of sorts by myself at a restaurant. I hadn’t done anything like that before, and haven’t since. It was good for me.

 

[More Cowbell]

Maybe you can lunch at a dog-friendly cafe, or go on a dog-walk date. Dogs still need their daily walks, even during the holidays!

 

[CalBird]

So I took her home and she invited me in if I wanted to stay for a while.

You got invited in after dinner at night. You passed full security clearance. Way to go.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

We talked late this afternoon and we are going to go to lunch Wednesday at a place she likes. All is good and she told me she really enjoyed our time together last night.

No one else started cheering but woot woot second date already. Wowsa.

I am so happy for you. I hope you and the lovely lady find some great joy in each other's company whatever sort that is. And I hopeful that my mom will as well. She's only 73. I wish I could do a eHarmony for her

As for a text message during date. Absolutely I would as a concerned only child I'd be sitting there with a quick text to check in. Wish my mom would get a watch.

 

[Aerides]

As for even looking at a phone during a date, that's a huge red flag for me, but I'm biased because I despise our cell phone society. Seems to me if someone's family or friends are requiring a check-in (something I'm not particularly fond of, either), the person should go to the bathroom to do it. Unless, of course, they want to put their date on notice that the cell phone is of at least equal importance as the person on the other side of the table.

Normally, yes, but given the whole story and that we know there are concerned adult children, Mom on her first date in 50 years? I'd let that go.

Heck, I used to have one of my friends call me 30 mins in to any first day to give me a safe "out" if needed. Luckily I was always able to hit ignore.

 

[Dtail]

Normally, yes, but given the whole story and that we know there are concerned adult children, Mom on her first date in 50 years? I'd let that go.

Heck, I used to have one of my friends call me 30 mins in to any first day to give me a safe "out" if needed. Luckily I was always able to hit ignore.

Agree 100%.

 

[old medic]

We talked late this afternoon and we are going to go to lunch Wednesday at a place she likes. All is good and she told me she really enjoyed our time together last night.

AWESOME.... love hearing a good story... Hope it continues to grow

 

[VanWinkle]

Great report, I'm impressed you remembered so much on a first date. Let it take it's course over time and keep your expectations at bay. Enjoy your time with her.

 

[aja8888]

No one else started cheering but woot woot second date already. Wowsa.

I am so happy for you. I hope you and the lovely lady find some great joy in each other's company whatever sort that is. And I hopeful that my mom will as well. She's only 73. I wish I could do a eHarmony for her

As for a text message during date. Absolutely I would as a concerned only child I'd be sitting there with a quick text to check in. Wish my mom would get a watch.

Thanks, on a side note here....Apple watches are really a good investment for an older person for a lot of good reasons. Besides the ease of quick communication, another good feature is fall notification, especially if the older person is living alone.

 

[aja8888]

Maybe you can lunch at a dog-friendly cafe, or go on a dog-walk date. Dogs still need their daily walks, even during the holidays!

I've thought about that too and will be the topic soon.

 

[Kings over Queens]

I've thought about that too and will be the topic soon.

Happy to hear about the lunch "date" next week. It's nice that you found someone to share time with.

I was thinking that something with holiday music, tree lighting, along those lines. You may have a local community theater putting on carols, or the high school may have a production going.

 

[aja8888]

Happy to hear about the lunch "date" next week. It's nice that you found someone to share time with.

I was thinking that something with holiday music, tree lighting, along those lines. You may have a local community theater putting on carols, or the high school may have a production going.

We have "Old Town Spring" here, a small community of old shops and small restaurants, etc that is always decked out with Christmas decorations, and the like. It's a touristy place and a lot of fun and we will probably go there as it's fun and close. It's an area where walking is a lot of fun and lots of stuff to see.

 

[Chuckanut]

It’s good that her children are watching over her to make sure you are a good guy. (Not that I question your honesty.) There are too many scoundrels out there who will fleece an older man or woman using their close relationship. I could tell you stories about what has happened to a few friends of mine.

You seem to be on a good path to learn more about each other. Give it plenty of time. Talk about any of your concerns regarding the Holiday season, visiting family, gifts, etc. Be yourself.

 

[Chuckanut]

Regarding how you children may react to mom or dad becoming involved again with the opposite sex…..

One of my adult daughters was staying with me for a while, just as I had started “socializing” again post divorce. I had gone out to a dance hall with a group of mostly female friends, and later to an all night diner for eats. I got home at 2:00 AM. When I returned home, I found my daughter sleeping on top of my bed, so that she could be certain I had returned home home safely. It’s still one of the most touching memories I have.

 

[Gremlin]

We have "Old Town Spring" here, a small community of old shops and small restaurants, etc that is always decked out with Christmas decorations, and the like. It's a touristy place and a lot of fun and we will probably go there as it's fun and close. It's an area where walking is a lot of fun and lots of stuff to see.

That sounds perfect! I am late to the original thread but the mix of caring, thoughtful suggestions and hilarious comments is what I love most about this site. I’m sorry I missed it in live time. Aja, your sense of humor alone makes you a great catch - not that you don’t have other wonderful attributes. Here’s hoping the relationship brings you future joy, no matter what form it takes!

 

[aja8888]

That sounds perfect! I am late to the original thread but the mix of caring, thoughtful suggestions and hilarious comments is what I love most about this site. I’m sorry I missed it in live time. Aja, your sense of humor alone makes you a great catch - not that you don’t have other wonderful attributes. Here’s hoping the relationship brings you future joy, no matter what form it takes!

Thanks!