Date recap in boring detail! Everything went as planned and there may be more fun to come!

splitwdw said:
aja, When I'm out to lunch or dinner with anyone I do not check for texts and answer them. I am still not dating but can't imagine doing that on a first date. Glad you had a nice time. It's always great to meet new people.
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Her last "first date" was 40+ years ago. No cell phones, texting. For all you know, she replied "I'm fine. Leave me alone."
 
I am thrilled for you. My wife has 2 married sons and 3 grandchildren, not as big as the tribe you mentioned.
My only advice is to take it slow. We were married a year and a half after our first meeting. At our age we do not buy green bananas LOL.
 
Lorenzo said:
Perhaps. But there’s more to the story. She was one of the first women I dated after my divorce. To me, Thanksgiving was a family holiday. Maybe I had too much going on in my head, thinking about Thanksgivings past with my ex-wife or other family. This woman was nice, but she was not like family after just a few dates, and her question struck me as a bit presumptuous. I ended up taking a solo road trip to Nashville—a city I had not been to—and having a Thanksgiving dinner of sorts by myself at a restaurant. I hadn’t done anything like that before, and haven’t since. It was good for me.
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You weren't ready to date at all, I'd say. She was rebound lady. And she felt it, good and hard.
 
Souschef said:
I am thrilled for you. My wife has 2 married sons and 3 grandchildren, not as big as the tribe you mentioned.
My only advice is to take it slow. We were married a year and a half after our first meeting. At our age we do not buy green bananas LOL.
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Heck, the "new" Mr. A. and I knew each other for over 3 years before tying the knot. And the original Mr. A. and I were just work friends for a year and a half. Although when we got engaged, some people at work immediately assumed we'd been Having An Affair all along. We only wished we had been, ha.
 
Amethyst said:
You weren't ready to date at all, I'd say. She was rebound lady. And she felt it, good and hard.
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I'm sure you're correct, though I dated this particular lady after having been dumped by another whom I was getting to like very much and could envision a future with. If this was the "rebound lady," she may have been the rebound from that other lady whom I really liked! I dated a lot between the divorce and finding DW, broke up with some and was broken up with by others. Who can say what relationship is a rebound from what relationship. DW and I have been happily married now for 16 years.
 
Ton's of advice already prescribed and I don't have anything unique, but wanted to say I am pretty excited for you that everything went so well. Building new friendships is pretty heady. Good Luck!!
 
Thanks for sharing your journey with us. We hope all the best for you as you get acquainted with your new lady friend.
 
AudiDudi said:
She'd probably be impressed that you cared enough to get advice - likely she had a little advice and coaching also :)
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I don't know why people assume she was getting or would want or need advice from anyone. Neither my husband nor I even told our relatives/ kids we were dating until it was a sure thing. And that goes for my previous marriage as well.
 
Lorenzo said:
I'm sure you're correct, though I dated this particular lady after having been dumped by another whom I was getting to like very much and could envision a future with. If this was the "rebound lady," she may have been the rebound from that other lady whom I really liked! I dated a lot between the divorce and finding DW, broke up with some and was broken up with by others. Who can say what relationship is a rebound from what relationship. DW and I have been happily married now for 16 years.
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I once heard an advice radio show who advised not to date until "a year after the divorce is final" and I think she only had exceptions for that after 80.

I decided to abide by that at 32 and I firmly believe it was the right decision, for me. It was a good year for me to focus on me, but more to NOT focus on partnering up again. By the time I started up again, the wounds were healed and I knew myself a bit better.
 
Amethyst said:
I don't know why people assume she was getting or would want or need advice from anyone. Neither my husband nor I even told our relatives/ kids we were dating until it was a sure thing. And that goes for my previous marriage as well.
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I rarely tell my kids anything about my social life. They really don't need to know until it gets serious. Most don't don't for various reasons. I have learned that as I age getting a date is easy. Finding the right woman to settle down with requires effort and patience. Or luck.
 
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Chuckanut said:
I rarely tell my kids anything about my social life. They really don't need to know until it gets serious. Most don't don't for various reasons. I have learned that as I age getting a date is easy. Finding the right woman to settle down with requires effort and patience. Or luck.
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While I have just started this dating stuff again, and the lady I have started it with seems tick a lot of the boxes for me, deep down inside I have this feeling (doubt, fear, whatever) that if this (or a) relationship got serious, I wonder if I could go all the way again?

All the way meaning either marriage or just living together.

There's a couple of things I don't want to do again.....one is having to take care of a very sick, old spouse (companion) for years like I did before. And the second would be how to ensure that my financial assets aren't drained away doing the first thing.

Scary stuff..a lot to think about. When I sit back and think about this....it's like "what the H**L am I getting myself into?

Oh, our next date is tomorrow (dinner) and one is also set for next Tuesday to go to see A Christmas Carol play nearby in the evening.
 
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aja8888 said:
While I have just started this dating stuff again, and the lady I have started it with seems tick a lot of the boxes for me, deep down inside I have this feeling (doubt, fear, whatever) that if this (or a) relationship got serious, I wonder if I could go all the way again?

All the way meaning either marriage or just living together.

There's a couple of things I don't want to do again.....one is having to take care of a very sick, old spouse (companion) for years like I did before. And the second would be how to ensure that my financial assets aren't drained away doing the first thing.

Scary stuff..a lot to think about.

Oh, our next date is tomorrow (dinner) and one is also set for next Tuesday to go to see A Christmas Carol play nearby in the evening.
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I am afraid there are no guarantees about the caregiver thing. I didn't expect to be a dementia widow, but it happened; and it could happen with New Mr. A., or with me. In fact, the odds favor it. We try to take care of our health the best we can. For you, as a new dater, why even worry about it at this point? Just have fun. If you find you love someone, and love them enough, you will start to see the risk as worth taking. You are a long way from "I can't imagine my life without you."
 
Amethyst said:
I am afraid there are no guarantees about the caregiver thing. I didn't expect to be a dementia widow, but it happened; and it could happen with New Mr. A., or with me. In fact, the odds favor it. We try to take care of our health the best we can. For you, as a new dater, why even worry about it at this point? Just have fun. If you find you love someone, and love them enough, you will start to see the risk as worth taking.
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Yes, good advice....I shouldn't try to think everything out too far. I seem to have a habit of doing things like that.
 
aja8888 said:
While I have just started this dating stuff again, and the lady I have started it with seems tick a lot of the boxes for me, deep down inside I have this feeling (doubt, fear, whatever) that if this (or a) relationship got serious, I wonder if I could go all the way again?

All the way meaning either marriage or just living together.

There's a couple of things I don't want to do again.....one is having to take care of a very sick, old spouse (companion) for years like I did before. And the second would be how to ensure that my financial assets aren't drained away doing the first thing.

Scary stuff..a lot to think about. When I sit back and think about this....it's like "what the H**L am I getting myself into?

Oh, our next date is tomorrow (dinner) and one is also set for next Tuesday to go to see A Christmas Carol play nearby in the evening.
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Wow!!! aja things moving fast!!! Good for You!!! I think about it from time to time if I lost my precious wife would I want to find another or not.
There is a lot of things to consider but I would never remarry. I'm gone so much and wouldn't think I would find someone willing to do and enjoy the things I want to do. Be easier single and just be able to help and do things ever so often with someone.
Who knows though I never have had to live alone so I could feel totally different if in that spot.
 
I am very happy for you. Just take one step at a time and not worry/plan about the future at this point in time. If it continues to progress to the point that you feel right or wrong, you will know.

In my case, I am very sure I will not marry again if/when my spouse passes before me. I don't even think I can ever get romantically involved again. I have always been with a partner since the age of 22. I think I will relish my alone time for a while.
 
street said:
Wow!!! aja things moving fast!!! Good for You!!! I think about it from time to time if I lost my precious wife would I want to find another or not.
There is a lot of things to consider but I would never remarry. I'm gone so much and wouldn't think I would find someone willing to do and enjoy the things I want to do. Be easier single and just be able to help and do things ever so often with someone.
Who knows though I never have had to live alone so I could feel totally different if in that spot.
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Street, living alone is not a lot of fun for some people, and maybe I am one of them. It's three years now living alone. I'm just dating her at the moment.
 
Chuckanut said:
Finding the right woman to settle down with requires effort and patience. Or luck.
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It requires all 3, especially at this late stage. (Patience was always required).
 
You can be in a relationship with someone and not live together. WR2 seemed really happy in her relationship living next door to her sweetheart.

I think if you don’t live together it’s easier not to end up taking full time care of your partner if they need it. That doesn’t mean you don’t help them but it doesn’t become your full time job.
 
RetiredHappy said:
I am very happy for you. Just take one step at a time and not worry/plan about the future at this point in time. If it continues to progress to the point that you feel right or wrong, you will know.

In my case, I am very sure I will not marry again if/when my spouse passes before me. I don't even think I can ever get romantically involved again. I have always been with a partner since the age of 22. I think I will relish my alone time for a while.
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Women seem to have an easier time living alone than men do in general.
 
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