Date recap in boring detail! Everything went as planned and there may be more fun to come!

aja8888 said:
I think if you read the thread you will see there was not any wholesale texting going on.
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Sorry, I wasn't directing it at your date I was actually responding to couple of later comments that I didn't quote. I was afraid my replies to those were going to come out in an offensive way and didn't mean to offend you instead.

But for me anyone too glued to their phone is really not going to be likely to be a good match in the same way a 400 lb gamer isn't going to be a good match (cause I'd want to be more active) and an ultramarathon man isn't either (cause they'd leave me in the dust unable and unwilling to keep up).

I see too many couples out who are both on their phones the whole time and wonder what is even the point of going out.

I don't need anyone "checking on" me to make sure my first date is okay either. I'm not going to meet a stranger in a dark alley.
 
badatmath said:
Sorry, I wasn't directing it at your date I was actually responding to couple of later comments that I didn't quote. I was afraid my replies to those were going to come out in an offensive way and didn't mean to offend you instead.

But for me anyone too glued to their phone is really not going to be likely to be a good match in the same way a 400 lb gamer isn't going to be a good match (cause I'd want to be more active) and an ultramarathon man isn't either (cause they'd leave me in the dust unable and unwilling to keep up).
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(y)
 
Aja I'd say you'll know a lot more about her in 1-2 more dates.
 
badatmath said:
Aja I'd say you'll know a lot more about her in 1-2 more dates.
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Yes, I believe you are right, and we had two more since the first one. I still sense the fog of grief is still somewhat present with her as her husband's passing was about two years ago. But it took me almost three years to get past that stuff, and I'm still not 100% beyond it. Could be you just can't entirely get over it.
 
badatmath said:
Maybe she will be a friend at least.
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I think that's a given and I am not sure what either one of us wants to get out of this brief encounter.

It could go anywhere as both of us are certainly wanting something different than sitting around grieving about a dead spouse. Unless you have experienced that, you really don't know what the grief process is all about.
 
aja8888 said:
I think that's a given and I am not sure what either one of us wants to get out of this brief encounter. I

t could go anywhere as both of us are certainly wanting something different than sitting around grieving about a dead spouse. Unless you have experienced that, you really don't know what the grief process is all about.
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I've only had a divorced spouse, not a deceased one...
 
Amethyst said:
Be careful, you long-term confirmed bachelors out there. I just married my second LTCB in a row, so it could happen to any of you if you're not careful :dance:
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Somehow I'm not worried. 20 years and very few applicants and even fewer where I think it might have worked out and zero where it actually did work out.

Never say never though.

Back to aja8888, though. I'm happy for him and his new lady friend.
 
aja8888 said:
I think that's a given and I am not sure what either one of us wants to get out of this brief encounter.

It could go anywhere as both of us are certainly wanting something different than sitting around grieving about a dead spouse. Unless you have experienced that, you really don't know what the grief process is all about.
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But I've known people that lost their spouses to illness who did eventually remarry and were happy. They started slow and just sort of fell into things.
 
badatmath said:
But I've known people that lost their spouses to illness who did eventually remarry and were happy. They started slow and just sort of fell into things.
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Yeah, I guess that's how it works.

Being single at this age has sure been an eye opener for me. This is not at all like the younger years when I was single.
 
SecondCor521 said:
Somehow I'm not worried. 20 years and very few applicants and even fewer where I think it might have worked out and zero where it actually did work out.

Never say never though.

Back to aja8888, though. I'm happy for him and his new lady friend.
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I'm pretty sure that some/many/most (pick one) people age 70+ who find themselves dating again are not looking to get married again.

It's different now versus your 20s and 30s...
 
TheWizard said:
I'm pretty sure that some/many/most (pick one) people age 70+ who find themselves dating again are not looking to get married again.

It's different now versus your 20s and 30s...
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Understood.

I sometimes aspire to a relationship. But so far she and I haven't found each other yet. To be fair I haven't looked very hard for her. 🤷
 
aja8888 said:
Yes, I believe you are right, and we had two more since the first one. I still sense the fog of grief is still somewhat present with her as her husband's passing was about two years ago. But it took me almost three years to get past that stuff, and I'm still not 100% beyond it. Could be you just can't entirely get over it.
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M.y husband won my heart, in part, by his kind interest in my late husband. Nobody else ever asked me the question I was dying to answer about the man who had been my life for 35 years: "What was he like? Tell me about him." I suspect most people worry that the widow might cry, or something, but it was a source of great healing for me.
 
Amethyst said:
M.y husband won my heart, in part, by his kind interest in my late husband. Nobody else ever asked me the question I was dying to answer about the man who had been my life for 35 years: "What was he like? Tell me about him." I suspect most people worry that the widow might cry, or something, but it was a source of great healing for me.
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He sounds like a good guy. I'm happy for you!

There's an additional factor that can come into play: most men are pretty jealous creatures IMHO, and they tend not to want to talk with potential romantic partners about any competition, lest it ruin their own chances.
 
badatmath said:
But I've known people that lost their spouses to illness who did eventually remarry and were happy. They started slow and just sort of fell into things.
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I agree. This happened to my wife and myself. We both lost our spouses about the same time.
We started out very slow, and were married a year and a half after meeting.
 
Seems to me that there is seldom a downside to dating.

Unless of course you are already married!
 
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