Do people get more and more frugal and stingy as they age? Why is that?

[COcheesehead]

100 year old FIL has plenty of money, yet he shops the sales at the local grocery stores to get the best deal on canned beans … literally.

Going grocery shopping with him is literally an all day affair because it involves shopping at multiple stores for all the sales.

I think spending the least amount of money on an item is a game for him. Even when he really doesn’t need the items. It’s his way of “sticking it to the man”.

There’s more going on there then being frugal.

 

[RetiredHappy]

My sister and BIL have 8 figures net worth and she will look at deals, like free french fries at some new McD's locations, and make my BIL drive her there to pick up the free french fries, and of course queueing for an hour... Their gas/petrol would cost them $5 to $10 to make the run. For her, it's winning the game. Gives me a headache just listening to her.

 

[TheWizard]

I can think of two reasons off hand. i am sure that there are many.

As I get older I find that I can remember what things used to cost and it becomes harder to pay what seems like an unreasonable amount of money for the same (or in many cases, inferior or smaller) item. This is probably especially true for individuals whose income is not growing at at least the rate of inflation...

Back around 1975, I made around $15,000 a year and bought a new car for a bit over $3000.
My F-150 that I bought ten years ago cost around $60,000 but my income is much higher than $15,000 a year now.
Moral of the story: increase your income at least as much as inflation...

 

[Koolau]

Clearly. But do some actually get more frugal as they age?

My parents did but we have not. Still frugal but not like my parents who actually endured the Great Depression.

Turns out that it was fortunate as they came out even due to nursing home costs.

 

[Koolau]

My sister and BIL have 8 figures net worth and she will look at deals, like free french fries at some new McD's locations, and make my BIL drive her there to pick up the free french fries, and of course queueing for an hour... Their gas/petrol would cost them $5 to $10 to make the run. For her, it's winning the game. Gives me a headache just listening to her.

MIL was like that. I wouldn't put up with it and eventually, neither would DW.

 

[Sorcerer]

OP read my mind. I was thinking about starting this exact thread but was afraid it would upset too many people on here, since most people here are the target audience (older.)

I wouldn't use the word frugal. I would say people become more cheap and borderline stingy as they age. It is such a common theme.

I suppose that's good for potential recipients of their inheritance, including us.

 

[Koolau]

OP read my mind. I was thinking about starting this exact thread but was afraid it would upset too many people on here, since most people here are the target audience (older.)

I wouldn't use the word frugal. I would say people become more cheap and borderline stingy as they age. It is such a common theme.

I suppose that's good for potential recipients of their inheritance, including us.

I guess I'd accept frugal or even "cheap" but I've never thought of myself as stingy. To me, that deals with others and not self. YMMV

 

[Sorcerer]

I guess I'd accept frugal or even "cheap" but I've never thought of myself as stingy. To me, that deals with others and not self. YMMV

I should have probably added this to my first post. Frugal/cheap isn't just reserved for older folks. Wife and myself are relatively young, still working, and from time to time we find ourselves complaining about prices and not buying something...and wondering how in the heck the said item can be priced what it is, for what it is.

We too have more money than we've ever had. Would it hurt us to spend $7 on an item that last year cost $4..no. maybe it's the principle of it. Maybe more voting with our money. I do think some of it has to do with not wanting things as much anymore. We never chased shiney objects. Maybe just being more content with what we have. Hmmm. Maybe we're just the cheap ones now!

 

[old medic]

I would say we are going opposite. Although we are still quite frugal, at 62/57 we are spending for stuff now that we would not have before. Perfect example was new bedsheets.... never dreamed I would drop over $100 for a set. We worked hard for what we have and want to enjoy it while we can.

 

[Dtail]

My sister and BIL have 8 figures net worth and she will look at deals, like free french fries at some new McD's locations, and make my BIL drive her there to pick up the free french fries, and of course queueing for an hour... Their gas/petrol would cost them $5 to $10 to make the run. For her, it's winning the game. Gives me a headache just listening to her.

Not a game I wish to play.

 

[NameTaken2]

Is it for us to judge amounts others spend in retirement?
If frugality got them where they are and makes them happy, what difference does it make?
Maybe continuing to grow assets is a selfless act with the goal of leaving it to heirs or charity.
Seniors are generally set in their ways -if healthy and happy, is there really a problem?

The ones with a real problem are those living beyond their means.

 

[Koolau]

I would say we are going opposite. Although we are still quite frugal, at 62/57 we are spending for stuff now that we would not have before. Perfect example was new bedsheets.... never dreamed I would drop over $100 for a set. We worked hard for what we have and want to enjoy it while we can.

How many years did we use cheap sheets and pillow cases? Then, for some reason, I think DW got some high thread-count premium sheets/PCs on sale. No going back once you sleep on those. We still keep the cost down by buying on sale, but we won't go back to the "burlap plus" sheets of yore.

 

[athena53]

I would say we are going opposite. Although we are still quite frugal, at 62/57 we are spending for stuff now that we would not have before. Perfect example was new bedsheets.... never dreamed I would drop over $100 for a set. We worked hard for what we have and want to enjoy it while we can.

Sometimes you do better anyway on high-quality items because they last longer. I bought sheets from RedLand Cotton- entirely USA-produced starting from the cotton. They have the lovely, substantial texture that I remember from my childhood. I never liked the feel of the ones that contained synthetics or "microfibers"- they don't breathe.

Now, of course, I sometimes realize with a bit of sadness that the more durable products will outlast me.

My maternal Grandpa was cheap. Yes, I said it. He and Grandma had raised 5 children during the Depression and although Grandpa was always employed things were tight. Even as things got better he never relaxed. Grandma loved jewelry. He never bought her any. She wanted new linoleum for her tiny kitchen. He said what was there was just fine. She took some of the small amount of money she inherited from her parents and bought new linoleum.

Fast-forward to 2 years after Grandma's death in her late 70s: Grandpa remarries a woman whose adult children told her that she HAD to remarry when her husband died and she found there was no survivor benefit. Grandpa got her a flashy engagement ring (and "upgraded" it at their 5-year anniversary to something bigger than the 1-ct I had at the time). He sold the family house in Ohio and they moved into a CCRC in FL near her family. Mom, who eventually took over his finances, noted that every time one of his CDs came up, it was renewed in Step-Grandma's name. (She had some needy, greedy adult kids and was sending one daughter $300/month.) Grandpa outlived her and nearly ran out of money. Mom didn't want his money but she truly resented the things Step-Grandma got that her mother never did.

In Grandpa's case, I think he relaxed because he figured he couldn't take it with him, but it was really a sore point with Mom.

 

[PristineSound]

OP read my mind. I was thinking about starting this exact thread but was afraid it would upset too many people on here, since most people here are the target audience (older.)

I wouldn't use the word frugal. I would say people become more cheap and borderline stingy as they age. It is such a common theme.

I suppose that's good for potential recipients of their inheritance, including us.

Of course I wasn't trying to upset anyone. I'm just trying to figure out why so that maybe my wife and I can figure out how to change this habit for my in-laws. Watching how they live in their golden years makes us feel bad, they don't need to live like this, far far from and they shouldn't be living like this. They should spend without too much calculation and worry and they should enjoy the "finer things" instead of the cheapest and the most basic without a second thought.

(In case anyone finds the term "finer things" controversial, please see my definition above.)

 

[TripleLindy]

Heck, anything to get the golf score down.

I’m thankful that spending money on equipment doesn’t actually lower the score. If it did, I’d likely be broke.

I certainly wouldn’t call not spending on a phone or computer as stingy or even frugal. Technology has a way of enticing us with meaningless technobabble but it rarely translates into anything meaningful except for the most demanding uses. Take Apple’s latest campaign for the iPhone, which emphasizes liquid cooling. Liquid cooling in and of itself isn’t a feature that anyone would really want, just like having a radiator on your car isn’t a reason to buy the car. Yes, reliability is the end result, but that’s not what is marketed.

At any rate, no need to be critical of others’ spending (or non-spending) habits. We’ve become more “frugal” about possessions because they’re usually nothing but a means to an end. But we spend way more on experiences than we ever did prior to retirement, flying business class and staying in nice places.

Last point: I never worry about spending too much on 2 things: a mattress or shoes.

 

[RetiredHappy]

I’m thankful that spending money on equipment doesn’t actually lower the score. If it did, I’d likely be broke.

I certainly wouldn’t call not spending on a phone or computer as stingy or even frugal. Technology has a way of enticing us with meaningless technobabble but it rarely translates into anything meaningful except for the most demanding uses. Take Apple’s latest campaign for the iPhone, which emphasizes liquid cooling. Liquid cooling in and of itself isn’t a feature that anyone would really want, just like having a radiator on your car isn’t a reason to buy the car. Yes, reliability is the end result, but that’s not what is marketed.

At any rate, no need to be critical of others’ spending (or non-spending) habits. We’ve become more “frugal” about possessions because they’re usually nothing but a means to an end. But we spend way more on experiences than we ever did prior to retirement, flying business class and staying in nice places.

Last point: I never worry about spending too much on 2 things: a mattress or shoes.

Actually changing to a LAB putter did lower my score by a couple of strokes a round.

Changing equipment in the hope of lowering scores is all in the mind.

 

[PristineSound]

Is it for us to judge amounts others spend in retirement?
If frugality got them where they are and makes them happy, what difference does it make?
Maybe continuing to grow assets is a selfless act with the goal of leaving it to heirs or charity.
Seniors are generally set in their ways -if healthy and happy, is there really a problem?

The ones with a real problem are those living beyond their means.

It's not judging, it's a terrible habit to have in your golden years when money is no longer an issue. You want them to enjoy themselves in the only life they have. It's love.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

For the most part all things being equal (assuming no No Windfall like lottery or huge inheritance) I think folks spending habits remain pretty much the same as they have during mid life to retirement. We really have not changed much since retirement / getting older, yes we spend more on vacations etc. as that is a "now having more spare time to do so" thing. We always had all the "stuff" we ever wanted for the most part. We are still frugal and shop sales regularly and purchase store brand groceries, although we do not cut back on excellent quality food. Again, that is more of a habit rather than a necessity.

 

[PristineSound]

I certainly wouldn’t call not spending on a phone or computer as stingy or even frugal.

For my FIL it's frugality because he clearly wanted a top end phone by the ear to ear smile he had after the purchase.

 

[TripleLindy]

Actually changing to a LAB putter did lower my score by a couple of strokes a round.

I’ll be scheduling a fitting just after the new year!

 

[Sorcerer]

Buy once, cry once. Quality over quantity.

 

[audreyh1]

100 year old FIL has plenty of money, yet he shops the sales at the local grocery stores to get the best deal on canned beans … literally.

Going grocery shopping with him is literally an all day affair because it involves shopping at multiple stores for all the sales.

I think spending the least amount of money on an item is a game for him. Even when he really doesn’t need the items. It’s his way of “sticking it to the man”.

I guess that’s his retirement hobby.

 

[Aerides]

Of course I wasn't trying to upset anyone. I'm just trying to figure out why so that maybe my wife and I can figure out how to change this habit for my in-laws. Watching how they live in their golden years makes us feel bad, they don't need to live like this, far far from and they shouldn't be living like this. They should spend without too much calculation and worry and they should enjoy the "finer things" instead of the cheapest and the most basic without a second thought.

(In case anyone finds the term "finer things" controversial, please see my definition above.)

Can't be done. Far more loving to accept them for who they are than try to "change" another person.

 

[Gumby]

I’ll be scheduling a fitting just after the new year!

The day that my clubs become the limiting factor in my game is the day I'll get new ones. But since the problem is that I actually just really suck at golf, that won't be ever.

 

[disneysteve]

Of course I wasn't trying to upset anyone. I'm just trying to figure out why so that maybe my wife and I can figure out how to change this habit for my in-laws. Watching how they live in their golden years makes us feel bad, they don't need to live like this, far far from and they shouldn't be living like this. They should spend without too much calculation and worry and they should enjoy the "finer things" instead of the cheapest and the most basic without a second thought.

(In case anyone finds the term "finer things" controversial, please see my definition above.)

I totally get it. We go through this constantly with my mother. At 95, with a 450K portfolio, she still insists on buying things at the dollar store. Then when the item doesn't work like she had hoped, wants me to return it for her. Or it breaks since it's cheap plastic junk and she tries to tape it back together or get me to glue it for her. Instead of shopping at the dollar store, she could upgrade to Target or Walmart and get a decent quality item for maybe $5 that would likely last the rest of her life.