Do people get more and more frugal and stingy as they age? Why is that?

[pb4uski]

But if they are eating healthy and getting exercise plus taking care of their medical needs, maybe refusing to splurge a little on things actually makes them happy? I have seen some wealthy people on MMM that seem to be happy reducing their lifestyle and impact. They might be perfectly happy with the $400 laptop over the $1000 one since they play Call of Duty on neither one. (I type this on a $400 laptop I got a year+ ago on Black Friday at Costco, 16.1" monitor, Intel core 5, 16gig memory, 512G SSD).

And I type this on a Lenovo IdeaPad Miix 700, 12" 2-in-1 Laptop/Tablet (Intel m5, 8GB SDRAM, 256GB SSD) that I bought in January 2017 for $570. I recall that at the time it was a bit more than what I would usually buy but I can say it is the best laptop that I have ever had and at almost 9 years it doesn't owe me anything.

Back to the topic, if they are eating healthy and getting exercise and taking care of their medical needs and want to refulse to splurge on things that could make their life better that is their right, but I don't see the point of being frugal unnecessarily when a little splurge can improve your quality of ife.

 

[PristineSound]

Like my great uncle who refused to go to the nursing home that he truly needed to be in because it was "too expensive', so he chose to live at home, often in his own feces and impose on a nephew. When he died his wealth went to his granddaughter and then it went up the granddaughter's nose. Sad.

There are so many things wrong with this story.

1) At that point all the nephews should let him sleep in his own feces. Completely inconsiderate to others, family nevertheless. I mean, does he think that his nephews have nothing better to do with their lives? Does he somehow think that he is entitled to this from his nephews?

2) Why isn't his children or grandchildren the ones cleaning the feces off of him? Why are nephews the ones doing it? There is something very wrong with this story.

3) If he is going to impose such ridiculous and unreasonable crap on his nephews, one would hope he had some inheritance for his nephews. Understanding that the nephews weren't cleaning him up in chase of his inheritance, but because they wanted to help family, but it's something call gesture, gratitude and appreciation, which you nephews got none of.

 

[pb4uski]

I agree. He had one daughter who lived over 1,500 miles away and she had her own health issues to deal with. As I recall, they died about the same time. His only other bloodline was a granddaughter who was a useless piece of sh*t.

The nephew who it fell to worked nearby and is a genuinely good guy. I'm with you... after the first time I would have told him that it was either a nursing home or you're on your own because I refuse to pick up your sh*t.

He was my grandmother's sister's husband and was not well regarded on our side of the family because he allegedly was abusive. I wasn't a fan.

 

[PristineSound]

My impression is the OP just wants to make sure they aren't forgoing things they might enjoy because of some age-related mental block that prevents them from seeing their finances as they really are.

In more threads than this one the question has been raised if there is such a thing as an unhealthy level of frugality. There are stories in this thread of people forgoing something that they felt was "too expensive" only to cave in later and find that it gave them great enjoyment. Something unhealthy was impeding their judgment.

100% nailed it. Not sure why I said it as if that is such a feat.

It's not about me forcing my values on them, it's not about me be judgemental, and not sure how that has anything to do with not being grateful. I am at a complete lost as to how anyone are interpreting what I said to such ridiculousness.

 

[robnplunder]

Before I retired, I was saving every which way I could. I watched every dollar I spent. I saved enough money to be more generous and less frugal in my retirement. That was by design. I wanted to live "free" of worrying about money in my retirement.

 

[Koolau]

100% nailed it. Not sure why I said it as if that is such a feat.

It's not about me forcing my values on them, it's not about me be judgemental, and not sure how that has anything to do with not being grateful. I am at a complete lost as to how anyone are interpreting what I said to such ridiculousness.

I guess it was a slow day after Christmas. Get over it. We have.

 

[Music Lover]

Your MIL needs a new laptop, but wishes she didn't. It's something she doesn't want to spend money on. Having not researched what new laptops actually cost, she came up with a ludicrously inadequate budget.

$1000 is not ridiculously inadequate. In fact, it's more than adequate.

I bought an Acer $550 laptop for $350 on a Black Friday sale a couple months ago. 8g ram, 128 SSD, 15.6" screen. My previous laptop cost about $250 and lasted 6 years. Actually, it still works but I handed it down to a family member.

 

[PristineSound]

$1000 is not ridiculously inadequate. In fact, it's more than adequate.

I bought an Acer $550 laptop for $350 on a Black Friday sale a couple months ago. 8g ram, 128 SSD, 15.6" screen. My previous laptop cost about $250 and lasted 6 years. Actually, it still works but I handed it down to a family member.

You've mistaken; her budget is $300-$400.

In 2026, you won't get much for that. Sure you may be able to find some great black friday sales, but at that price point, it's still mediocre.

The point isn't about how much she should spend on a laptop; the point is why is she so frugal to spend so little when she has more than enough to treat herself and have plenty of inheritance for her kids, who actually don't even need a penny of it.

Truth be told, it's somewhat of a rhetorical question, being frugal is a habit that can't be broken, but I am just surprised that it gets worse for some people as they age.

 

[Koolau]

$1000 is not ridiculously inadequate. In fact, it's more than adequate.

I bought an Acer $550 laptop for $350 on a Black Friday sale a couple months ago. 8g ram, 128 SSD, 15.6" screen. My previous laptop cost about $250 and lasted 6 years. Actually, it still works but I handed it down to a family member.

Maybe she wants a Mac.

 

[Oakster]

I think it has a lot to do with how expensive stuff gets. Just getting lunch at a fast food restaurant anymore is $14 or more.... no way is that worth it compared to what I can make myself. The older you get, the less stuff you have to buy because we often do not use the newest tech, and we have all the stuff we need. Just generally speaking, as we age, we do not use the new stuff for all of its capabilities and we do not know what we are missing. We also get shell shocked by the price and a little inconvenience is worth the savings. Its a lifetime of perspective.

 

[Diogenes]

I also remember all the times I was disappointed in something, that turned out to be not nearly as good as imagined. After a lifetime of buyers remorse, it's just hard to get excited about the wonderfulness of something new.

Exactly! Over time, one realizes that most desires are better left unfulfilled.

Example: the other day I test drove a 2026 Mustang GT, stick-shift. Pretty car, with cozy interior and seats fitting me snugly. But it's utterly, arrantly gutless! Theoretically 480 hp, but they're inaccessible.... too high in the rpm band for my purposes. I drive at 2000-3000 rpm, upshifting at 3500. In that rpm range, the poor thing had less palpable power than a Camry. So, might as well buy a Camry... a used V6 model.

When you are poor, you can only afford a pair $40 boot, that will last you 1 year. Had you been able to afford the nicer and better quality boot at $100, it would have lasted you 4 years. Because you couldn't afford the $100 pair of boots, you spent a total of $160 buying cheap quality boots that's uncomfortable over the course of the 4 years.

That hasn't been my experience. I'm hard on my things. Whether the boots were inexpensive or costly, they'll get scuffed, soiled, maybe torn. They won't last. Might as well buy the cheap ones, as there's less regret in having to replace them.

I wonder if there is more to it. Is it common to develop a "sticking it to the man" attitude as we age? ...

Yes. There's much thrill in absenting oneself from traditional rubrics, including in matters of consumption.

 

[shafer9]

My in laws are well off in retirement thanks to aggressive savings, persistent investments, multiple pensions and rental income. They are very generous with family and their church, but they are very very frugal and stingy on themselves.

My father in law needed a new phone as his old phone is almost 4 years old, it's getting slow, and the manufacturer no longer even have security patch updates for it. He insisted on getting a cheap phone, but we found out that his plan has an offer for a free upgrade. Only then he treated himself to a new Pixel 10 Pro. But he still had to mull over if he should spend $2.77/month to get 256GB storage, we had to push him to do it. After he completed the upgrade, he had a big smile on his face, so clearly he wanted "nice things."

My mother-in-law needed a new laptop, we saw one at Costco that is very powerful, which will last her for at least 7 years or more, it was on sale for $1k, I think that is a good deal, especially for how long she will keep it for.

We thought it would be too much for her to spend, but sent her a picture of the deal anyway. Sure enough she said it was too much. So we asked what is your budget, she told us $300-$400 dollars. My wife and I looked at each other and laughed, with this kind of budget you can only really buy those cheap Chromebooks that public schools give out to students.

Why do people get more and more frugal and stingy as they age despite that money can never be an issue for them anymore?

I have few theories, (a) their mindset is locked into the older pricing before all the inflation added up over the years, so everything seems so expensive to them (b) the frugal habit just exacerbates as you age (c) there is financial anxiety that they don't have enough.

Love for you all to chime in on this. And if you are one of those frugal ones even if money is no longer an issue, remember, you only live once, treat yourself good.

I truly don’t understand that mentality. I worked very hard for 45 years and a mask enough to live comfortably now. My major extravagance is my wife and I love to travel and we have probably been to 28 countries and have enjoyed it immeasurably. It wasn’t cheap although I tend to shop for bargains with various airlines and/or tour operators. I have a bunch set aside for my kids, thankfully they don’t need much, They’re doing well. I’m a big fan of. Don’t live over your head, but don’t be Scrooge either. Everything in moderation, including moderation.

 

[Broland]

Great question! ~14 years into retirement {69yo) and we're finally getting much looser in our spending. I now pay for top quality and top service and find much =less stress in our lives.

To answer the question ... We were definitely more frugal for a number of years, and on reflection there wasn't a need to be. I wish we had loosened up much sooner.

On another front .. the Pixel 10 pro is the best overall phone out there ... Good choice!

 

[ugeauxgirl]

Agree with Broland. Some people do become less frugal. We are less cheap than we have been in the past. We have realized that we're never going to spend it all. I just bought myself a cool new Garmin sports watch that I absolutely didn't need, but I love it

 

[GenXguy]

I've always been frugal but have tightened the purse strings since becoming unemployed in 2023 but also because of the economic situation. Also, I'm not drawing any SS or pension (not even old enough), and I can't pull from my retirement accounts, sell shares of investments, take any distributions from my MYGAs, or cash in I Bonds because I need to keep my MAGI down for ACA, which is difficult enough as it is, so I don't want to spend so much that I have to tap any of those funds now. Still, my discretionary spending was up a few hundred dollars in 2025 from 2024, which was up from 2023, so I think I'm getting a little less frugal. It's still well under what my budget allows for discretionary, though.

 

[disneysteve]

Still, my discretionary spending was up a few hundred dollars in 2025 from 2024, which was up from 2023, so I think I'm getting a little less frugal.

Spending just a few hundred more is probably attributable to inflation. You might be just as frugal as always. Things just cost more.

 

[TheWizard]

Exactly! Over time, one realizes that most desires are better left unfulfilled.

Example: the other day I test drove a 2026 Mustang GT, stick-shift. Pretty car, with cozy interior and seats fitting me snugly. But it's utterly, arrantly gutless! Theoretically 480 hp, but they're inaccessible.... too high in the rpm band for my purposes. I drive at 2000-3000 rpm, upshifting at 3500. In that rpm range, the poor thing had less palpable power than a Camry. So, might as well buy a Camry... a used V6 model.

The 10-speed auto is generally the better choice in the Mustang, being faster in every case if that matters to you (it doesn't matter to me).

My '24 Mustang has the Ecoboost engine, a mere 315 HP. Even then, if you punch it too hard in some situations, you'll have some fishtailing to deal with.

This is why I really wanted the Performance Hybrid Mustang that Ford teased back in 2018 and then failed to produce.
If you shift some of the torque to the front wheels for a few seconds in demanding circumstances, things get lots better.

You can ask Tesla about this...

 

[Steelpony]

Of course a better phone and a better computer is finer than some cheap crap. A better phone takes better quality photos, faster, bigger screen. A better computer has a GPU, you can do things such as video editing, that a cheaper computer can't handle.

I can keep taking it further: I recently brought myself a set of DeWalt tools, an upgrade from the Black & Decker matrix I been frugally using for years. One use, you can clearly tell the difference with a DeWalt than some cheapo Black & Decker. The motor has more torque, it's more efficient, it runs cooler, for longer as a result of a high quality brushless motor, it's got ergonomic design with vibration absorption, metal housing for durability. The list goes on and on.

Now if these things doesn't matter to you, that's a different story than a better phone is not better, or it's not the "finer things" in life. Or if it's a philosophical reasoning of what "finer things" are to be not material, that still doesn't negate some cheapo product with quality products.

Sorry still Ha Ha. I’m probably as old as your in laws. Hopefully you’ll learn some things someday.

Big hint: landfill crap isn’t real important to some oldies and for others money isn’t just to buy endless “things”. Our self image by our age is what it is.

 

[GenXguy]

Spending just a few hundred more is probably attributable to inflation. You might be just as frugal as always. Things just cost more.

That's true. An e-bike purchase in Oct 2024 brought discretionary spending up, where I didn't have a single purchase even half that big in 2025. But my "over the holidays" discretionary spending in 2025 was about 4X what it was in 2024, which was higher than that period in 2023.

 

[Diogenes]

The 10-speed auto is generally the better choice in the Mustang, being faster in every case if that matters to you (it doesn't matter to me).

That is probably true, but for purposes of our thread here, your observation prompts two important corollaries:

1. Useful spending requires wisdom. Just throwing money around won't make our lives better. It would only lead to the frustration of having wasted our money on superficially attractive stuff. Lacking such wisdom, we default to "Plan B", that being unremitting frugality.

2. When we're young, we don't know, what we don't know. As we age, it is unlikely that our wisdom increases enough, to obviate (1) above. But one hopes that at minimum, we do grow sufficiently wise, to realize that we lack wisdom. Hence, stasis.

And not to hijack this thread, but here's an automotive question: suppose that one wanted a light, nimble car... with absolutely insane amount of low-end torque... smooth, quiet engine, no high-rpm histrionics, but something like 500 ft-lb at 1800 rpm. How to achieve this? And how much would it cost?

 

[TheWizard]

That is probably true, but for purposes of our thread here, your observation prompts two important corollaries:

1. Useful spending requires wisdom. Just throwing money around won't make our lives better. It would only lead to the frustration of having wasted our money on superficially attractive stuff. Lacking such wisdom, we default to "Plan B", that being unremitting frugality.

2. When we're young, we don't know, what we don't know. As we age, it is unlikely that our wisdom increases enough, to obviate (1) above. But one hopes that at minimum, we do grow sufficiently wise, to realize that we lack wisdom. Hence, stasis.

And not to hijack this thread, but here's an automotive question: suppose that one wanted a light, nimble car... with absolutely insane amount of low-end torque... smooth, quiet engine, no high-rpm histrionics, but something like 500 ft-lb at 1800 rpm. How to achieve this? And how much would it cost?

This thread is about getting more frugal as we age. At age 75, I'm trying to avoid that.

My Mustang convertible (my third convertible) is my economy car(30+ mpg), for grocery store runs and similar where my F-150 might be overkill.

And if you want a vehicle with high torque at low rpms, then go with a diesel of some sort.
Others will know more...

 

[sailor]

And not to hijack this thread, but here's an automotive question: suppose that one wanted a light, nimble car... with absolutely insane amount of low-end torque... smooth, quiet engine, no high-rpm histrionics, but something like 500 ft-lb at 1800 rpm. How to achieve this? And how much would it cost?

Small electric? Volvo EX30 comes to mind (Google says 400lb-ft). Some Teslas are >500. Volvo EX30 twin motor is $46k. BMW Neue Klasse concept has supposedly over 1200lb-ft ( Would an electric M3 really have 13,269 lb-ft of torque? )

 

[RetMD21]

$1000 is not ridiculously inadequate. In fact, it's more than adequate.

I bought an Acer $550 laptop for $350 on a Black Friday sale a couple months ago. 8g ram, 128 SSD, 15.6" screen. My previous laptop cost about $250 and lasted 6 years. Actually, it still works but I handed it down to a family member.

So you wouldn't be x3 happier if you spent x 3 more?

 

[Out of Steam]

No matter what government statistics say, any American over 65 or 70 remembers when things cost 1/10th or less of what they do today.

Under those circumstances, it is natural for older people, even wealthy ones, to be hesitant to spend. Senior discounts are an attempt to get past that hesitation.

 

[jollystomper]

My view is that FI allows one to choose what areas one can be frugal in, and what areas one can blow that dough. So someone can look a a person and think they are being frugal or "cheap" in one area, yet not see the areas where they choose to BTD. For example, if you saw the cars we drive you would think of us as being frugal or cheap (as some of our relatives do ), because we do not need fancy or expensive new cars. On the other hand,the family vacations we have had with our kids and their families the last two years we were happy to BTD in paying for them, a booking nice accommodations, and getting rental cars, meals and nice restaurants.

This can be influenced by one's experience over time as we age. Based on our tastes and interests, we learn what areas might make sense for us to BTD because of the benefit it brings up, and what areas we are fine staying frugal, because additional spending is not worth it to us. It is all in the eye of the beholder. I recall back in 2006 and 2007 the frenzy of friends upgrading from 2500-3000 square foot houses on 1/2-1 acre of land to 5000+ square foot houses on multiple acres. We stuck to our 3000+ square footage and 1+ acre of land because we did not see the value of anything bigger for us. Some perceived us as frugal. But in a few years, in our area, it was a smart move .