Do people get more and more frugal and stingy as they age? Why is that?

[Music Lover]

So you wouldn't be x3 happier if you spent x 3 more?

Actually, I would be less happy because I would know that I had overpaid.

All I do on my laptop is internet, email, and a couple spreadsheets so a basic one is just fine. There's no increased value with aa more expensive one.

On the other hand I paid a lot of money for a nice acoustic guitar that I rarely use. But when I do use it it brings me joy.

 

[ychuck46]

I don't think it is being cheap or frugal; it's just that in most cases we don't want any more "stuff" so we put off purchases. And oftentimes replacing items, whether electronics or the like, can be a crapshoot due to the poor quality of some materials used. I replace things when I have to in most cases, not because I can afford to. On the other hand my wife and I do like to travel so we will splurge on cruises and the like, but not overspend while onboard for a lot of their extras.

 

[davidfin]

My in laws are well off in retirement thanks to aggressive savings, persistent investments, multiple pensions and rental income. They are very generous with family and their church, but they are very very frugal and stingy on themselves.

My father in law needed a new phone as his old phone is almost 4 years old, it's getting slow, and the manufacturer no longer even have security patch updates for it. He insisted on getting a cheap phone, but we found out that his plan has an offer for a free upgrade. Only then he treated himself to a new Pixel 10 Pro. But he still had to mull over if he should spend $2.77/month to get 256GB storage, we had to push him to do it. After he completed the upgrade, he had a big smile on his face, so clearly he wanted "nice things."

My mother-in-law needed a new laptop, we saw one at Costco that is very powerful, which will last her for at least 7 years or more, it was on sale for $1k, I think that is a good deal, especially for how long she will keep it for.

We thought it would be too much for her to spend, but sent her a picture of the deal anyway. Sure enough she said it was too much. So we asked what is your budget, she told us $300-$400 dollars. My wife and I looked at each other and laughed, with this kind of budget you can only really buy those cheap Chromebooks that public schools give out to students.

Why do people get more and more frugal and stingy as they age despite that money can never be an issue for them anymore?

I have few theories, (a) their mindset is locked into the older pricing before all the inflation added up over the years, so everything seems so expensive to them (b) the frugal habit just exacerbates as you age (c) there is financial anxiety that they don't have enough.

Love for you all to chime in on this. And if you are one of those frugal ones even if money is no longer an issue, remember, you only live once, treat yourself good.

I’m in my 70’s. Saved like a demon from my late 20s till I retired at 57. The whole point of saving and delayed gratification is to be able spend my remaining years (and I hope for a lot of them) doing and buying what I want when I want. So I just declared victory and we are spending way more than when we were working. So it’s a mind set and having a plan.

 

[Koolau]

No matter what government statistics say, any American over 65 or 70 remembers when things cost 1/10th or less of what they do today.

Under those circumstances, it is natural for older people, even wealthy ones, to be hesitant to spend. Senior discounts are an attempt to get past that hesitation.

Yeah, wouldn't a Sr. discount (of, let's say 10%) on new cars be nice? It would take that or more to get me to buy a new car but that's just me and YMMV.

 

[REWahoo]

Yeah, wouldn't a Sr. discount (of, let's say 10%) on new cars be nice?

You mean something like a $7,500 discount on a new EV?

 

[Diogenes]

My view is that FI allows one to choose what areas one can be frugal in, and what areas one can blow that dough. So someone can look a a person and think they are being frugal or "cheap" in one area, yet not see the areas where they choose to BTD. For example, if you saw the cars we drive you would think of us as being frugal or cheap (as some of our relatives do ), because we do not need fancy or expensive new cars. On the other hand,the family vacations we have had with our kids and their families the last two years we were happy to BTD in paying for them, a booking nice accommodations, and getting rental cars, meals and nice restaurants.

You're of course quite right... no dispute! But, I hasten to add a bit of a personal frustration.

You see, our capacity to "blow that dough" is culturally-laden. I at least lack the wherewithal to convincingly and unapologetically do unorthodox things.... and likely I'm not alone. To spend money on family vacations, while economizing on cars, is culturally laudable and venerated. It's a good thing. It shows that we're solidly family people. Recognizing that society dubs this a good thing, we feel vindicated and validated in our choices. So, we keep spending more on those things.

Now consider the reverse, where a person spends very considerable money on cars, but never takes a vacation, apart from maybe spending an afternoon at the local museum, on free-admission day. This is viewed as being louche and vain. Show up in a $200K Porsche, and the implication is.. how shall I put it in the vernacular... a d-bag? Even if nobody is there, to point fingers, one feels thus discomfited. Who wishes to look foppish? A younger man might not care, especially if a member of a car subculture. But after a certain age, one grows more self-conscious and reserved. It just feels downright inappropriate to thus spend money, while one's peers are busy spending their money on doling-out gifts to the grandchildren (we are assuming that our hero has no progeny or other relations).

In sum, as we age we become more imprisoned by cultural consciousness, and that limits our capacity to spend, if the desired spending is not culturally accepted.

BTW, if I had the moral courage, this would be my daily driver: https://mcmurtry.com/speirling-pure/

 

[Surewhitey]

I get miffed at things engineered for breakage or losing support. Throw away society sucks. I take hand me down phones from DW and she gets the upgraded ones now.

I just replaced a cheap bidet with a new, cheap one after 3 years... But I can't live without it now.

 

[jollystomper]

...
Now consider the reverse, where a person spends very considerable money on cars, but never takes a vacation, apart from maybe spending an afternoon at the local museum, on free-admission day. This is viewed as being louche and vain. Show up in a $200K Porsche, and the implication is.. how shall I put it in the vernacular... a d-bag? Even if nobody is there, to point fingers, one feels thus discomfited. Who wishes to look foppish? A younger man might not care, especially if a member of a car subculture. But after a certain age, one grows more self-conscious and reserved. It just feels downright inappropriate to thus spend money, while one's peers are busy spending their money on doling-out gifts to the grandchildren (we are assuming that our hero has no progeny or other relations).

In sum, as we age we become more imprisoned by cultural consciousness, and that limits our capacity to spend, if the desired spending is not culturally accepted.

I understand, but I would differ with this, under the following qualification. I do not think people care about others spending on material things and not taking vacations. But people will wonder about people spending considerable money on things - anything - when they cannot afford it. It is fine to blow money on a car, or multiple cars. But if while you are spending money on that, you are asking others to provide you with food, or help pay your rent or mortgage, because you have spent so much on cars - that is where you might be considered an "issue".

In the ghetto I grew up in, there were more than a few people who had fancy cars, but who were also drawing welfare checks. My dad was a landlord for a while, and I would observe, when going with him to help collect rent, people who would say they did not have rent money, please give them another month (and my Dad was not the best of landlords, he tended to be too soft-hearted at time). But then would see them in those fancy cars, or gambling, or talking about the expensive vacations they had gone on, etc.

So my view, in sum, is that one can spend extravagantly on what they want. It only looks bad when that extravagant spending causes one to become dependent on others.

 

[REWahoo]

I just replaced a cheap bidet with a new, cheap one after 3 years... But I can't live without it now.

So if I understand you correctly, you're saying not having a bidet rubs you the wrong way?

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

So if I understand you correctly, you're saying not having a bidet rubs you the wrong way?

It at least chafes him a bit.

 

[sadie1958]

Spending money becomes more difficult as we age. Buying a new vehicle is a PITA. Don’t have room for more stuff. Hiring a contractor to do work is a crap shoot. Travel becomes more difficult.

It’s just easier to stay home and watch tv.

It's just easier to stay home and read. The rest is true.

 

[YB88]

Unless I pretty radically change my lifestyle or have some huge unanticipated expense(s) --- medical, whatever --- I don't think I'll run out of money. My wife and I have inclined to paying up a bit more on things we were formally frugal about, but still.

The following paragraph is not meant as any sort of political statement (!), just observational of the increasing concentration of wealth. This is a motivator for me to want to create some "generational wealth":

It feels like we're morphing towards an oligarchy, perhaps in the form of a sort of plutocracy. This inclines me towards a "tragedy of the commons" choice to leave most assets to our offspring. If relatively few people have most of the wealth (regardless of future political dynamics), it could increasingly unpleasant for those that don't have much. So I'll pay up for things that make a noticeable difference to my current quality of life while managing a goodly portion of wealth with a longer time horizon --- to pass significant assets to my kids.

 

[audreyh1]

Spending money becomes more difficult as we age. Buying a new vehicle is a PITA. Don’t have room for more stuff. Hiring a contractor to do work is a crap shoot. Travel becomes more difficult.

It’s just easier to stay home and watch tv.

I still hope those days are a long way off!

 

[aja8888]

I still hope those days are a long way off!

Same here....

 

[PristineSound]

Sorry still Ha Ha. I’m probably as old as your in laws. Hopefully you’ll learn some things someday.

Big hint: landfill crap isn’t real important to some oldies and for others money isn’t just to buy endless “things”. Our self image by our age is what it is.

Sorry still from my side too. I do have a lot to learn from in-laws indeed, one of which is not to be frugal on yourself, when you can afford it.

And let me give you a hint in return, I never said it's not important, I said it brings them enjoyment and that is a fact, like it or not.

 

[Ronstar]

Spending money becomes more difficult as we age. Buying a new vehicle is a PITA. Don’t have room for more stuff. Hiring a contractor to do work is a crap shoot. Travel becomes more difficult.

It’s just easier to stay home and watch tv.

I still hope those days are a long way off!

Those days can be a long way off!

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. One of the primary reasons that people get more frugal/ stingy as they age is the rising cost of goods and experiences. Older people remember when things were a lot cheaper than they are now and refuse to buy at current prices.

We can clear that hurdle by realizing that prices, while a lot higher now than in the past, are now a bargain compared to what they'll be in the future.

As far as buying a new vehicle, hiring people to do work around the house, etc. I think folks get impatient as they get older. We don't want to spend the time researching and comparing prices, etc in order to get what we want. We just want it now without having to do anything to get it.

We just need to realize that it may take some work on our part to buy things/ experiences in addition to the $ cost.

Travel can become difficult as we age, partially because we all can't do what we used to be able to do. Lately I've had a hard time finding friends to go on extensive hikes, or canoe the boundary waters, etc. But something my SIL said rang a bell - "Find something more age appropriate". We don't have to travel like we used to when we were younger.

There are thousands of travel itineraries available to seniors. We just need to find something that fits the interests and abilities of the group - and go.

And then we need to remember that if we don't spend our $, someone else will.

 

[audreyh1]

I certainly understand how earlier prices can stick in the brain and become sources of sticker shock and frustration as one ages. But we’ve been living with this all our lives. So is it something mental as one becomes quite elderly that it causes retrenchment of spending?

 

[Dtail]

Those days can be a long way off!

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. One of the primary reasons that people get more frugal/ stingy as they age is the rising cost of goods and experiences. Older people remember when things were a lot cheaper than they are now and refuse to buy at current prices.

We can clear that hurdle by realizing that prices, while a lot higher now than in the past, are now a bargain compared to what they'll be in the future.

As far as buying a new vehicle, hiring people to do work around the house, etc. I think folks get impatient as they get older. We don't want to spend the time researching and comparing prices, etc in order to get what we want. We just want it now without having to do anything to get it.

We just need to realize that it may take some work on our part to buy things/ experiences in addition to the $ cost.

Travel can become difficult as we age, partially because we all can't do what we used to be able to do. Lately I've had a hard time finding friends to go on extensive hikes, or canoe the boundary waters, etc. But something my SIL said rang a bell - "Find something more age appropriate". We don't have to travel like we used to when we were younger.

There are thousands of travel itineraries available to seniors. We just need to find something that fits the interests and abilities of the group - and go.

And then we need to remember that if we don't spend our $, someone else will.

One can always cruise as they get older.

 

[audreyh1]

One can always cruise as they get older.

Yes, but it’s more expensive traveling that way. Well, I guess it depends on the type of cruise and how many people you can stand to be with.

We are definitely doing more pre-packaged travel after decades of DIY travel. At this age it’s so much easier! But it’s a lot more expensive. We still do DIY road trips.

 

[Ronstar]

I certainly understand how earlier prices can stick in the brain and become sources of sticker shock and frustration as one ages. But we’ve been living with this all our lives. So is it something mental as one becomes quite elderly that it causes retrenchment of spending?

I do believe there is something mental among the elderly that causes retrenchment in spending.

I don't have any scientific facts - just personal experiences. Every elderly person I have known had/have frugal quirks that increased in intensity as they aged. And the increase in frugality came with even the slightest increase in cognitive decline.

I found this article - interesting that a study showed senior spending decreasing 2.5% annually as they age.
The article doesn't suggest a mental cause - just seniors having an increasing urge to save money.

https://money.usnews.com/money/reti...esearch, seniors,senior health and well-being.

 

[audreyh1]

I do believe there is something mental among the elderly that causes retrenchment in spending.

I don't have any scientific facts - just personal experiences. Every elderly person I have known had/have frugal quirks that increased in intensity as they aged. And the increase in frugality came with even the slightest increase in cognitive decline.

I found this article - interesting that a study showed senior spending decreasing 2.5% annually as they age.
The article doesn't suggest a mental cause - just seniors having an increasing urge to save money.

https://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/aging/articles/2017-10-27/why-retirement-makes-seniors-frugal-and-why-that-may-be-a-problem#:~:text=According to his research, seniors,senior health and well-being.

Maybe it’s an unconscious coping with cognitive decline. Being much more careful with spending, hoarding your money as you understand financial transactions less and lose your ability to plan.

 

[CaptTom]

Every elderly person I have known had/have frugal quirks that increased in intensity as they aged.

I agree it might be a coping strategy for a cognitive decline. Another trait I've seen is the desire to tell their life story; a brain dump; write everything down before it's gone.

But here's what I see in myself: I look at today's prices and just feel that the product simply isn't worth that much to me. Part of it is knowing what things used to cost. But another part may be that some things I used to splurge on just don't bring me that much joy these days.

Probably the biggest category for this is snack foods. I just don't get $4 worth of enjoyment out of a bag of potato chips. Especially since I know how much 9 ounce of potatoes actually cost over in the produce aisle.

This may also be a generational thing. I think younger generations are more conditioned by advertising to feel that some of their self-worth depends on buying the right brands, and paying a higher price.

 

[Teacher Terry]

As my mom aged after my dad died, she really looked at what brought her happiness, and she started to travel to the places that she had always wanted to see. She didn’t have a long list, but she did get to do what she wanted to, which was great.

A year ago I bought myself a new car and my original plan was to drive my old one until it was dead like I’ve done my whole life. However, a couple people in my building were each in their late 80s and early 90s and they said that they still had to buy themselves a new car around age 85 and what a waste that was as they wouldn’t have that many years to drive it. Both people wished they had bought their car when they were younger so they had more years to enjoy it.

Since I put very few miles every year on my car I knew that if I bought a car at age 70 unless someone hit me I would be able to drive that car for the rest of my life and enjoy it. I actually have enjoyed it very much.

 

[RetMD21]

Actually, I would be less happy because I would know that I had overpaid.

All I do on my laptop is internet, email, and a couple spreadsheets so a basic one is just fine. There's no increased value with aa more expensive one.

On the other hand I paid a lot of money for a nice acoustic guitar that I rarely use. But when I do use it it brings me joy.

Many of us have preferences that may seem irrational to others. An expensive acoustic guitar for you and too many "good" quartz watches for me. Other things are just commodities. OP seemed to have an issue with his MIL's lack of appreciation for the finer points of $1000 laptops. She wanted a cheaper item that would do the job. It seems like a mismatch in subjective preferences. Another example of why aren't more people like me.

 

[Gumby]

I'm glad everyone else doesn't want the same things I want. Then everything would be too expensive for me.