Do you feel obligated to respond?

[Car-Guy]

No, I don't feel "obligated".

Not to cell or land line phone calls, emails, texts or social media postings. Sometimes I don't respond to the DW, but that's problematic so I'm usually careful in that area.

 

[MarieIG]

No, I don't feel "obligated".

Not to cell or land line phone calls, emails, texts or social media postings. Sometimes I don't respond to the DW, but that's problematic so I'm usually careful in that area.

Spouses can have "selective" hearing. I was told I did not respond to DH when he asked me if he could use the chicken broth this afternoon to make the rice - so he had to have plain rice.

 

[jazz4cash]

I live in a house with 3 adults but I am the only one to answer the door. Answering the doesn’t mean opening it all the way. I bought a doorbell cam but it was panned by my housemates before I could even get it setup.

 

[OldShooter]

I have a little placard I made and fastened to our front door. It has a pretty good list of people we don't want to see. I.e, politicians, sales people, missionaries, handbill distributors, etc. It seems to work pretty well as we see people come to the door and then leave without ringing the bell.

Re texts overnight, my Android phone allows me to set "Do Not Disturb" hours together with some criteria of things to block or permit. I suspect that iPhones have the same sort of thing. The notifications show on the screen when I check it in the morning.

 

[djsander]

where I worked I was on call 24/7 even on holidays and vacations so I got used to always answering calls, texts and emails. After I retired the phone was turned to silence. Everybody that knows me knows I’ll get back to them when I get around to checking the phone. As for the door we only have a few friends that come by and we either see them out front or we are expecting them.

 

[calmloki]

As a landlord I viewed myself as available 24/7 as well - if there was a problem at a building it was my building that could be flooding or burning or about to have a drunk tenant who lost their key kick in the apartment door. I've pulled back from that role quite a bit now, but do answer the phone 95% of the time, though not if I've raced across the house only to see "potential spam" on the phone screen. People who call are people, and I treat them with respect if not warmth as they get wished good day. Texts I don't race for. Visitors at the gate or door get my personal and sometimes peremptory attention. Again, we're all people and warmth is my preference unless a pitch ignores my negative response.

 

[MC Rider]

No I don't. right now I am responding now because I want to. Phone does not get answered unless I know who it is. Door, I answer. We might get 1 sales person a year. There are very few unexpected door knocks. Works for me.

 

[Purslane]

Unless we're expecting a callback from someone or a visitor we ignore both. If it's important they'll leave a message, and if not I don't care. The phones are there for our convenience, not every wackadoodle trying to sell or scam me.

My feeling exactly. I tell people I pay my phone bill so I can call you, not so you can call me.

 

[statsman]

We occasionally get a door knock from one of the kids in the house behind us because something has gone over the fence into our yard (usually the soccer ball). If I see it's them, I will answer the door.

If the person at the door is wearing a shirt and/or hat indicating some sort of service, no answer. Same goes for someone holding a tablet.

If I don't recognize a phone number, I will cover the mic, answer the call, and say nothing. 95% of the time it is a robo-call. Doing this once or twice stops the calls from that number. I find this much preferable to letting the calls go to voicemail. This requires having to dial into voicemail to delete them, and it generally doesn't stop the robo-calls.

 

[DallasGuy]

Do you feel obligated to pick up the phone every time it rings, answer the door every time someone knocks, or immediately reply to every text you receive?

My wife runs to pick up the phone every time it rings, even if we're eating dinner, getting ready to shower, etc. I'm like "that's what the answering machine is for. If it's important they'll call back or leave a message." Thankfully I have a variety of filters on our home phone so we rarely get junk calls.

Similarly, if someone knocks on the door, my wife jumps up to see who it is. But if I'm sitting around in my pajamas, or they knock after I've gone to bed, I just ignore them. And after dark, I just don't trust opening the door. Unless they're banging on the door and yelling for help, it's just not that important.

My wife also keeps her cell phone by her side at all times, immediately picking it up and responding to any text message that she receives whether we're eating dinner, watching a movie, etc. To me the whole point of text and email is you can respond when it's convenient. Otherwise you could have just called... At a convenient time.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel obligated to respond just because someone happens to call, text, or knock on our door.

NO

 

[mountainsoft]

I can't think of anyone I know anymore who has a land line.

We have weak and unreliable cell signal here, so we have a VOIP home phone in addition to our cell phones. Our new cell phones support WiFi calling, so technically we could probably lose the home phone now, but we still find it convenient. It's nice to have a generic number that isn't tied to a specific person, such as doctors calling for our mothers. Either one of us can answer those calls. Our VOIP line is only $14 a month, so it's not a major expense. Ooma would be cheaper (my mom has that), but 1-Voip has a good filtering system.

 

[mountainsoft]

Re texts overnight, my Android phone allows me to set "Do Not Disturb" hours together with some criteria of things to block or permit. I suspect that iPhones have the same sort of thing. The notifications show on the screen when I check it in the morning.

Yeah, I would set that up for my wife, but her mom is in poor health so she is always worried about an emergency call. Unfortunately, there have been cases where a sibling will send a text after midnight saying mom is in the hospital. So for now "do not disturb" is not an option.

 

[Silver]

Is your wife more of an extrovert than you? Both my DH and I are very introverted and find any human contact draining, so we do not respond to any intrusion until/unless we want to. But the opposite is true of extroverts. They want and thrive on human contact, and pursue it whenever possible. It's just their nature.

 

[aja8888]

No to all of the above. Also, I can't think of anyone I know anymore who has a land line.

Same.

 

[foxcreek9]

We have weak and unreliable cell signal here, so we have a VOIP home phone in addition to our cell phones. Our new cell phones support WiFi calling, so technically we could probably lose the home phone now, but we still find it convenient. It's nice to have a generic number that isn't tied to a specific person, such as doctors calling for our mothers. Either one of us can answer those calls. Our VOIP line is only $14 a month, so it's not a major expense. Ooma would be cheaper (my mom has that), but 1-Voip has a good filtering system.

I use voip.ms and it costs 85 cents per month (plus .009 per min, 800 numbers free), we are not paying for e911 but it is available. Use Panasonic cordless phone with silent mode on 24 hours a day, so only numbers in phonebook rings, all others will light up the phone but not ring. Cell phones we use silence unknown callers.

 

[WhenIsItTime]

I haven't had my ringer on in 5 years since retirement.

 

[Car-Guy]

Door, I answer. We might get 1 sales person a year. There are very few unexpected door knocks. Works for me.

We occasionally get a door knock from one of the kids in the house behind us because something has gone over the fence into our yard (usually the soccer ball). If I see it's them, I will answer the door.

If the person at the door is wearing a shirt and/or hat indicating some sort of service, no answer. Same goes for someone holding a tablet.

I forgot about someone knocking on the door. Probably because in the ~15 years we've lived here in rural countryside, we have had zero people knock on our door. It's another hidden benefit of living away from people.

 

[EarlyandLate]

I absolutely do not feel obligated! On my phone, I have a special ring tone for family. All other calls can be and usually are ignored unless I happen to have my phone nearby and see that the caller is known to me. I live in a secured condo building, so random knocks on the door are extremely rare.

When I visit my 92 yo dad, he drives me crazy with this. He insists on having a landline phone and jumps up, practically running to the phone. Same with the door. He is getting less steady on his feet and some day will fall. He also checks to see if his mail has come several times a day.

 

[Qs Laptop]

Yeah, I would set that up for my wife, but her mom is in poor health so she is always worried about an emergency call. Unfortunately, there have been cases where a sibling will send a text after midnight saying mom is in the hospital. So for now "do not disturb" is not an option.

There is an option to give priority to certain contacts, meaning their call or text will get through the Do Not Disturb setting no matter what. You can also have it set so it will ignore the first call from anyone but if they call back within 5 minutes it will ring through.

 

[SJ1_]

Do you feel obligated to pick up the phone every time it rings, answer the door every time someone knocks, or immediately reply to every text you receive?

My wife runs to pick up the phone every time it rings, even if we're eating dinner, getting ready to shower, etc. I'm like "that's what the answering machine is for. If it's important they'll call back or leave a message." Thankfully I have a variety of filters on our home phone so we rarely get junk calls.

Similarly, if someone knocks on the door, my wife jumps up to see who it is. But if I'm sitting around in my pajamas, or they knock after I've gone to bed, I just ignore them. And after dark, I just don't trust opening the door. Unless they're banging on the door and yelling for help, it's just not that important.

My wife also keeps her cell phone by her side at all times, immediately picking it up and responding to any text message that she receives whether we're eating dinner, watching a movie, etc. To me the whole point of text and email is you can respond when it's convenient. Otherwise you could have just called... At a convenient time.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel obligated to respond just because someone happens to call, text, or knock on our door.

My pho

 

[skyking1]

I forgot about someone knocking on the door. Probably because in the ~15 years we've lived here in rural countryside, we have had zero people knock on our door. It's another hidden benefit of living away from people.

+1 we have been behind our gate for 30 years, and the new place has a gate. I'll make it easier for people to drop by with some technology at the new place.

 

[pacergal]

No landline. I answer family calls or recognized/known callers during the day. Phone is on silent from 10pm-6am, but emergency contacts will go through.
Will answer family texts, either right away or later if busy.
We have a gate access to our front deck, and a no solicitation sign, so if someone is at the door, they are usually expected. We do answer, however, also have a locked security storm door, so there is not an easy "in" for someone.

DH lets everything go and responds whenever. Kids know to contact me--lol.

 

[kcowan]

Do you feel obligated to pick up the phone every time it rings, answer the door every time someone knocks, or immediately reply to every text you receive?

My wife runs to pick up the phone every time it rings, even if we're eating dinner, getting ready to shower, etc. I'm like "that's what the answering machine is for. If it's important they'll call back or leave a message." Thankfully I have a variety of filters on our home phone so we rarely get junk calls.

Similarly, if someone knocks on the door, my wife jumps up to see who it is. But if I'm sitting around in my pajamas, or they knock after I've gone to bed, I just ignore them. And after dark, I just don't trust opening the door. Unless they're banging on the door and yelling for help, it's just not that important.

My wife also keeps her cell phone by her side at all times, immediately picking it up and responding to any text message that she receives whether we're eating dinner, watching a movie, etc. To me the whole point of text and email is you can respond when it's convenient. Otherwise you could have just called... At a convenient time.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel obligated to respond just because someone happens to call, text, or knock on our door.

I used to be responsive while working. Now I let technology handle it. DE is like yours. As a result, some others use her to get to me when they have this obsession with urgency. I still let them wait!

 

[GalaxyBoy]

I keep the iPhone set to "silence unknown callers" so anyone not in my contacts list goes straight to voicemail. I also have it set to announce callers, so it speaks the name of the caller aloud. I can't recall the last time someone knocked on the door who I didn't expect.

Reminds me of a supervisor I worked with back in the days before voicemail where the call would roll over to the secretary after a certain number of rings. If she heard her phone ring she would run full-blast and knock anyone down who got in her way of answering her phone. Of course, it usually rolled over by the time she got to her office anyway. What fun for the rest of us! (as long as we jumped out of the way)

 

[Teacher Terry]

I only answer people in my phone contacts . I live in a secure condo building so I would answer the door because it would be one of my friends. That ship sailed when I became the board president. I installed a ring camera so I can see who’s at the door. If it’s not a friend I ignore it.