Do you give to panhandlers?

[athena53]

No, even though my Ex died homeless due to his alcohol abuse.

Giving cash reinforces the behavior. I'm especially turned off by people with their possessions in a grocery cart (cost $300 or so for the grocery store to replace) and in retrospect I've been scammed a few times when I fell for a sob story.

There's a faith-based charity near me that does very good work- food pantry, mental health counseling, thrift store (with vouchers so the needy can get essentials at no cost to them), help getting essential documents such as birth certificates, driver's licenses etc. They're focused on getting people "up and out" of their situation if at all possible. I support them generously because I figure they can buy things in bulk for less and they can sort out the people who want to improve their situations from the ones who want endless support.

 

[G-Money]

No, I don't give money to panhandlers. I support local charities which provide services for the homeless.

That being said, when I worked with the homeless (or unhoused), they all told me that of course they would like to receive money when they "fly a sign," but what hurts them the most is when people avoid eye contact with them as if they are no more than a stray dog. They want to feel like a human. So from then on, when I am at a light and someone approaches my car for a handout, I ask them: "So how's it's going today?" And everyone of them responds to me about their day. I feel better and I like to think they feel better too.

This resonates. Avoidance is because we (the solicited) don't want the kind of engagement that sometimes comes with interacting with the unhoused. It can be uncomfortable, saddening, or sometimes frightening. Who wants confrontation?

If anyone has been deep into a city with an unhoused problem, we know the kind of aggression and confrontation that some panhandlers can exhibit.

Acknowledgement is powerful, even if we aren't giving of something physical.

 

[jollystomper]

DW and I use discretion. I would say most of the time we do not give. But we take many factors into account - location, persons demeanor, what they are seeking, perhaps our mood, etc. We will do things like offer to buy a meal or fill a gas tank if someone asks for money for those things. That seems to screen out 90% of them. A friend of ours also does something interesting, he has a card of local food and shelter resources and hands those out to panhandlers, with about a 10%-15% acceptance rate.

We do not expect anything back, and certainly the times we have given that is the case. Even more than a few times running into the same person hours or a day later asking us again, us pointing that out, and them getting very belligerent (I recently almost got into a physical altercation in one of these situations).

But, there have been a few cases were, we ran into people working at jobs, who recognized us from giving them stuff when they were struggling, but had gotten themselves back on their feet. Those results encourage us to keep using alert discretion .

 

[Bruno]

NO, I drink Coffee in a town a few miles from Shawnee. This older woman comes fairly often goes in a buys a drink and snack for her and her mother who drives her to Shawnee to work the corners. She then becomes this hunch back woman that cant hardly walk to get the money.

 

[Montecfo]

Unfortunately homelessness is a large and growing "industry" in many areas. Too much money thrown at it and too little to addressing root causes.

 

[G-Money]

Well, I believe the "too little to addressing root causes" because every time a measure comes up to address root cause systematically, it gets shot down by the people we all expect to shoot something like that down. Increased criminalization , involuntary treatment, and privatization of solving the problem hasn't root-solved the issue in the past, so here we are.

 

[TheWizard]

A pastor friend told me that he gets one or two come to his door every week. Usually with a kid in tow, they ask for money because they're hungry.

He tells them to go to the diner right across the street, tell the owner that the pastor sent them (he has a tab) and get anything they want.

In 15 years, there has not been one person who went in. Not one.

That seems to be a fairly high deception rate...

 

[ls99]

No. I don't feed trolls.

 

[Tetto]

You know the feeling, the light turns red and you are the closest car to the panhandler, Ugh. But I now do something different. I fill about a dozen sandwich bags with snack food, candy bars, socks, spare change and some small cash, water bottle, toothpaste, etc. I then write a small note that has something inspirational (god loves u etc). I keep them in a box in my back seat and hand them out when approached. My kids learned this and do the same.

What a great example!

 

[gamboolman]

No.

But just a couple of months ago I had gone out to pick up a pizza late at night for the Daughter and Granddaughter and ms gamboolgal and I. I was waiting outside for it. A man and his young Daughter came up and gave me a Sob Story - and in a temporary moment of insanity - I gave him $50.

Not sure what / why I did that ?

But other than that instance of weakness - No I do not give them anything.

 

[Major Tom]

We all have different opinions on the subject, and some of us cherry-pick stories from our own experiences, or tales we have heard from others, that support our opinions. As others here have said, it's a complex situation. People become homeless for a variety of reasons, and no one single approach will alleviate the issue.

I occasionally give $5. Most of the time, I do not.

On a related note, something that really bugs me is the folk who make short videos of them giving sizable sums of money to people in need, filming their reactions, and posting the videos on social media sites. It's insulting to the people they are "helping", and suggests they are doing it not so much to help, but mainly to garner more online attention for their own pursuits. If you're going to help someone, just help them, and do it in a way that doesn't further insult their personal dignity.

 

[NurseSharon]

Difficult topic. My city has growing numbers of panhandlers on corners, in shopping districts, by our grocery market, and elsewhere. I’m curious how others approach it? When I see someone on the usual corners every single time I drive, I have both a reaction of human pity, the usual “There but for the grace of God go I,” and “I wonder where that person will sleep tonight?” Seeing women hits me harder, and seeing kids is obviously more distressing. I have come to ignore them and not make eye contact, because there are simply so many, which I then feel bad about, even though I’m just driving somewhere and need to stop at certain red lights. I let myself, I guess, feel like a bad human in a broken society.

But I also understand economics. My state of Minnesota and my city is famously high tax and high service. On top of that, we have an abundance of faith-based nonprofits whose donors, staff and volunteers provide every manner of support, food, shelter, job training and other services that they can. Yet our homeless population grows. If I give the lady on the corner money, not to mention the able-bodied man, and the cars behind me do the same, are we incentivizing self-help and giving a hand up? Or are we incentivizing getting by another day on the street corner with a cardboard sign? Am I helping a person find their next meal, or am I helping them buy their next bottle or fix on the way to the free meal and lodging over at the church or the shelter? If the person is an immigrant, especially with small kids, it generates a whole different set of conflicting internal questions, such as whether I have a responsibility to them if they broke my country’s laws to come here for our largess? I have so much social capital, much of which I was insanely fortunate to be born with, starting by simply being born in the richest country in the history of the world. Am I a bad person for not giving a few bucks to a fellow human who doesn’t have as much? Or am I contributing to the perpetuation of their difficult circumstances? If we solve the issue in Minnesota will we become a magnet for Chicago’s homeless and troubled? I cannot know. I also cannot know if I’m simply a greedy, uncaring __-hole.

I’ve been to the truly wonderful state of California but have seen the disasters that have happened to the downtowns of their major cities. I’ve lived in DC where I was asked for spare change dozens of times every day. The same thing is happening here in our generous city. I’ve been to other cities and countries where people are not living in tents by freeways and in the city parks. What do they do that works better? Socialism has never worked in world history, yet our own city councils are being filled with no-doubt well-meaning avowed socialists. Unfettered capitalism chews up people and spits them out, throwing them onto the streets. See: The Great Depression. Some cities drive their homeless to the city limits and say “Do not come back,” which is too harsh for my values. We have a middle system that taxes earners to provide a basic social safety net, which philanthropy further supports. And yet, the street corners and city parks fill.

Please leave partisanship and religious piety out of any comments. I’m just looking for a better and more enlightened practical mindset, if there is one.

I struggle with the same issue. There have been a lot of good comments on why you shouldn't give money--safety reasons. Our city has many programs set up to help the homeless and we are encouraged to not give money but to carry bus passes that they can use to get to one of the many places that can feed, clothe, and temporarily house them.

 

[Sunset]

....

Once I was in LA, and saw a panhandler with crutches. Suddenly he gathered up his things and took off running. I don't know if his shift was up or saw trouble or what. But clearly the crutches were a prop.

...

Must be a book on "How to Panhandle".

When I was working in downtown Chicago, I would see a panhandler with crutches on the same corner every morning. One time I had to go in an hour early. It was then I saw this same panhandler walking quickly from the parking garage to get to his corner carrying his crutches...

 

[Sunset]

I give to charities, especially Salvation Army, as I was once homeless and they helped me out. I also give to local food banks as I had to use a food bank a few times.
I never begged for money as I was too busy trying to find work, find a place to sleep, manage my life living in a car.

I used to do Social Work, and know there are too many scammers out there amongst the real needy.

 

[COcheesehead]

I am probably weird this way, but I feel really bad when I see them with a dog. I feel very bad for the dog.

 

[braumeister]

I am probably weird this way, but I feel really bad when I see them with a dog. I feel very bad for the dog.

Same here. Breaks my heart.

 

[braumeister]

I just saw a guy with a sign and his Venmo address! (For those of us who don't carry cash)

I'v mentioned it before, but there is one guy who is often at a particular traffic light who has "Bitcoin accepted" on his cardboard sign.

 

[CO-guy]

Yes I have; in bother cases they were elderly. One man in South Station in Boston, for some reason tweaked my heart strings and I gave him some cash. He vehemently protested it, but I told him to take it, it’s not a big deal and if it helps you, great. The other time was when I was in Madrid; an old lady who appeared handicapped she was on a walker and probably around 85 years old was begging for money outside the Westin Palace. I immediately felt terrible for handed her about €40. Like you, I wondered where she and the guy in Boston were gonna sleep that night. I’ve always felt if you’re near my age younger you better go get a job and get after it. I do have a soft spot for the elderly.

I do. Especially moms with kids. Not able bodied males or professionals. Also not to people that appear to be dealing with addiction.

Just pointing out that there's a fair chance that these frail geriatrics and moms with kids are being forced out there to earn money for someone else. Literally, some of these people you're giving money to because you feel bad are currently victims of human trafficking.

If people care about seniors and single moms living on the street, then give money to charities that support those individuals rather than risk handing your money to someone being managed by a 'pimp.'

When I lived in DC I was in and out of Union Station 5 days a week. In the mornings, you'd see these people being dropped off in vans. Giving them money enables this kind of abuse.

 

[athena53]

I am probably weird this way, but I feel really bad when I see them with a dog. I feel very bad for the dog.

One panhandler I saw in Germany had a sign asking for money so his dog could have surgery.

 

[oscar1]

Never have but it has crossed my mind. I do wish we had more programs for people that get themselves into this situation. My experience is few would ever accept 'rehab' to get them back in society because they just want to be left alone and asking for free stuff is easy (they lost their dignity a long time ago). We have a guy that roams the major North-South road (about 5 miles), baths in the community fountains, large guy, not sure how he keeps his weight up so people must be giving him stuff.

 

[Calico]

Years ago there was a panhandler who positioned himself on the median at a traffic light; he was there every day with a little dog. I stopped one day and gave him a bag of dog food and some water, my reasoning being that the guy (who was young and able bodied) could get a job and earn his food, but the poor dog had no choice.

I live in the south, and this jerk was out there on some very hot days with that little dog, no water bowl in sight.

When I gave him the dog food and water he cursed at me, and said he wanted money. I said "yup, so do I - that's why I go to work every day."

Eventually the town made panhandling in that location illegal; I don't know what ever happened to the poor dog. Don't care what happened to the man.

 

[Tetto]

Just pointing out that there's a fair chance that these frail geriatrics and moms with kids are being forced out there to earn money for someone else. Literally, some of these people you're giving money to because you feel bad are currently victims of human trafficking.

If people care about seniors and single moms living on the street, then give money to charities that support those individuals rather than risk handing your money to someone being managed by a 'pimp.'

When I lived in DC I was in and out of Union Station 5 days a week. In the mornings, you'd see these people being dropped off in vans. Giving them money enables this kind of abuse.

I shudder to think someone was forcing that old lady to go out and beg. The things people will do for money sicken me. We’re so advanced technologically, but care very little for each other, seemingly. Not all, but most.

 

[Montecfo]

Just pointing out that there's a fair chance that these frail geriatrics and moms with kids are being forced out there to earn money for someone else. Literally, some of these people you're giving money to because you feel bad are currently victims of human trafficking.

If people care about seniors and single moms living on the street, then give money to charities that support those individuals rather than risk handing your money to someone being managed by a 'pimp.'

When I lived in DC I was in and out of Union Station 5 days a week. In the mornings, you'd see these people being dropped off in vans. Giving them money enables this kind of abuse.

I appreciate these facts. And I do not blindly give. But I feel it is an imperative that I am willing to risk being wrong about (within the constraints I described above) as long as my motivation and attitude to do so are right.

I also talk to and try to understand their situations.

 

[folivier]

No. There is a local guy who is well dressed and his story is he is a medical salesman and lost his wallet. Needs money for gas to get back to his home town. Always working local convenience stores and Walmarts. He usually approaches women alone in their cars. Occasionally he will get aggressive and confrontational. He is a cocaine addict. But has his story well put together and only wants cash or Venmo.
There is a facebook page devoted to him. He is only one of many.

 

[old medic]

I am probably weird this way, but I feel really bad when I see them with a dog. I feel very bad for the dog.

We had left a restaurant with some leftovers and a couple with a dog were sitting down the street asking for money for food... Handed them the leftovers... Girl took a few bites man took a few bites and the dog got the rest.. I almost gave them some money too.