Do you want to manage it?

[steady saver]

I read with interest mountainsoft's question asking if you have an air fryer and do you recommend one? There were all manner of responses from enthusiastic yeses to absolute noes.

It brought to mind a bigger question that I find I am asking myself about all the time now..."Do I want to manage it?" I even had a dream last night where I was at some sort of event and they had booths set up where event goers could make something. I wasn't interested in this particular thing so I didn't participate but was chided by another even goer for not making whatever the thing was. And my response was "You know, I just don't want to manage it once I get it home."
Ha, well if I'm dreaming those sentiments, they must really be getting imbedded in my psyche!

This question - Do I want to manage it? - has been on my mind a lot this past year. I have been decluttering like there's no tomorrow because I'm tired of spending my life "managing things." I'm not a minimalist, but I do want more simplicity in my home. I don't want to keep things that I wouldn't even remember that I had anyway.

At this point, I honestly don't know what I want to do more of. The obvious thing might be to say "I'd like to travel more and not be so burdened by stuff." But I'm not so sure that I want to travel more. Maybe so, maybe not. It's never been a huge part of my life. But I don't know why - either it isn't that important to me or I just am burdened by too much to take care of so the idea of travel gets weighed down by the mindless obligation to take care of and maintain my current life that the thought of traveling just sounds like one more thing to have to take care of.

The glaring issue, of course, is that we maintain two places - our home in the city and a mostly non-working farm. I love both but it is a lot to maintain. And I'm tired of being a caretaker of so much. I'm not so much looking for advice on that situation here because pro/con lists don't work here. I think in a roundabout way my answer is to systematically ask myself "do I want to manage xyz" and then, one by one, rid myself of too muchness one bagload and trunk load at a time. I figure that at one point we will sell one and it will simply make that process go more smoothly. The result right now is that I have only partially filled drawers and shelves now and I feel lighter on my feet and happier in my soul.

What we're each happily willing to manage is obviously going to be different. No I don't have an air fryer, but I do have a belgian waffle iron and a krumkake iron. I know, I know...but they make me happy and I love using them when I do, even if the krumkake is primarily for making ice cream cones, ha.

So my question that I encourage you to ask yourself throughout the day is "Do I want to manage that?" And it's not just stuff either. This can apply to activities, to relationships...

My hope is that as I continue to answer "no" to many tangible items, that it will free up time and mental energy to enable me to answer the bigger questions of "What DO I want to manage? How do I really want to spend my time? With my blinders falling off, what have I perhaps been missing that I now have the energy to consider?" Yes, I can think about what I want in life and perhaps even write it all down to help process those thoughts. That is helpful and I do that. But the actual process of eliminating what I don't want to manage has been the most useful and hopeful and motivating approach I've come up with in helping me to move forward in this chapter of my life.

Hope this might offer some food for thought if you should find yourself in a similar position.

 

[Sunset]

Since being a teenager, I thought doing all the maintenance on the family cabin was just something I had to do, and still do many decades later.

But the last few years, I'm thinking it's forced work, and when I'm gone, nobody else will do it, and the place will fall apart, hopefully they sell it before then.

One family after my friend died, simply paid to tear down his cabin, as they wanted to reduce the taxes and didn't want to deal with the issues his cabin had. Mind you his cabin was a lot nicer than mine, with less issues. Yet they didn't want to sell the property, and may tent on it some summers.

So do I spend many hours maintaining, fixing, $$ to keep it going only for all that effort to be wasted/destroyed/sold later , or just sell/give it away now and free myself of a couple of months of work per year.

 

[steady saver]

I understand, Sunset.

We can become so accustomed to doing something that we don't even stop sometimes to ask why.

 

[target2019]

When will I use it? My first question...

 

[happy2bretired]

I’m a long time member, however, I’ve not posted in years. When my husband died, 18 years ago, we were in the process of transferring our investments to a management firm. I have always wondered if my husband knew he was dying at the time. Anyway, I am grateful for that decision, one less management problem for this widow.

I lived alone in our house for 13 years, managing all the household tasks, including snow shoveling and a kitchen update during those years. I think I did quite well during those years in doing those tasks and was quite proud of myself. However, as time passed, those tasks became more burdensome, especially snow shoveling.

One especially cold day while shoveling, in very early 2020, I said heck with this I’m going to move. Within 2 months, I had sold my house and moved into an apartment. I had used a senior relocating service that had held my hand thru the process. They dealt with the moving company, the recycling that was done in discarding my excess belongings and the packing and unpacking in my new abode.

I am now cozy in my apartment looking out my large patio door, with a 15 below zero temperature outside. I am very grateful right now. I am managing less and less as I age. I hope to continue in good health and stay here for as long as possible. However, I will keep thinking of the future and hopefully will still be able to manage myself and what I can handle into the future. But, less managing of everything means a lot to me as I age.

 

[skyking1]

It's a good thread premise. We are shedding things and want to continue with "less is more".

 

[Music Lover]

We're in Mexico for 6 weeks and came down with a suitcase each so we know that we can get by with a lot less.

We also have a cabin and I'm tired of maintaining 2 places. So the house will probably be sold in 3 or 4 years and we'll move to an apartment while keeping the cabin.

So, we're actively purging. We really don't have a lot of stuff but a lot of it can still go. However, we do like our air fryer, it's used 2 or 3 times a week.

 

[ElizabethT]

I completely, 100%, get this. Having recently moved, and moved all but 18 large pieces of furniture on our own, I shed and shed and shed possessions as we went through the move, even as our prior home was not remotely cluttered. So uncluttered that we have received multiple comments over the years from guests at how open, clean and uncluttered our home was, and how the heck do we do it?

So even though we started in a good place, we still shed hundreds of items during our recent move, because I realized I simply wanted to care for fewer items in the years ahead. Like you, OP, I increasingly want more simplicity and less complexity.

That includes the recent selling of our RV. After a fabulous 20 year run of RV’ing, it had slowly become a source of stress as we aged- parking, maintenance, insurance, and the like. We instead have decided we will long distance travel via VRBO.

It feels lovely to walk into our new-to-us spacious coastal home and feel a sense of space and lightness. It also frees us up to easily leave our home and go outside to play instead.

 

[FindingForward]

Great thread: thank you OP for starting it. I am so lazy when it comes to my free time - no boats, RVs, 2nd homes or any other "stuff" for me that requires any ongoing maintenance. A car and house is enough!

(I'd ditch the house too, if I didn't dread apt living.)

I always hear about the strong retirement income streams earned from investing and renting real estate - and I always envied those with the energy and skills to do this.

But I just can't imagine dealing with tenant calls...finding trustworthy, effective, affordable property mgrs...aggravations of repairs right now, with a shortage of honest handymen and companies - all of whom seem to be charging a lot for even minor fixes, plus tracking and reporting rental income, expenses, etc. at tax time.

It all seems so time intensive: I'd be miserable managing all that. But admire those who do.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

I have a similar mindset and do consider managing (storing/moving/cleaning etc) material goods. Goes along with "Will I use it?" I finally bought my eBike after many days I thought I'd use it that day but for not having it. So far, no regrets on that purchase although it is another item to maintain and move. I'm not good at getting rid of things so not acquiring is my strategy. If my house burned down, I'd be very minimalist and only acquire things I really need as I need them.

 

[aja8888]

After my wife passed away in December 2022, I spent the next few months purging. I was surprised by what we had collected over the years. I'm at the final stage of filling the trash can now. Plus, I downsized the house and dumped a ton of old furniture. Also down to one car.

 

[steady saver]

It is so gratifying to see that I'm in good company

Finding Forward, I hear you. We have a small guest house on our farm property that we considered turning into an Airbnb but as time goes on, I don't know that I really want to manage it. And I always so thought I would if I ever had the opportunity. I'm realizing I simply want connections with people, that is my driver.

Elizabeth T., I think that I may be on your trajectory. I think anyone coming in my home now would think it was decluttered and simplified, but I've worked really hard on it and the more I do, the more I want to go deeper. Our home is a little over 2400 sq ft and it used to feel a bit cramped (esp when kids were still at home). Now it feels roomy and spacious and a bit more than we need. I was just thinking that, at least at this very moment, that my wish is to enjoy what I have right now. To eliminate as much work and bask in the joys that each place brings. I have a feeling that neither is where we will ultimately end up and that makes me sad, but I can do whatever I can to enjoy the beauty and benefits of each one today.

I laugh about the "will I use it?" because I will convince myself that I will/could use about anything I have. That creativity is what trips me up, ha. What I've become more aware of is the fact that I simply wouldn't even remember I had it, so I might as well pass it on to someone who will.

Music Lover, we have considered something similar. Keep the farm as long as we can and simply get an apartment in town. We looked into that a couple of years ago and it seemed it was almost as expensive to rent as it was to keep o ur home. But that's missing the point of not having to manage the house though, isn't it? And I have mixed feelings about apartment living after Covid and because of safety concerns here.

happy2bretired - thank you for your post. Thank you so much. It was helpful to me on several levels. Thank you.

Yes, I'm finding "less really is more"... I value good food, a good book, nice music, time with friends and family, being in the beauty of nature...that's a rich life to me

 

[steady saver]

After my wife passed away in December 2022, I spent the next few months purging. I was surprised by what we had collected over the years. I'm at the final stage of filling the trash can now. Plus, I downsized the house and dumped a ton of old furniture. Also down to one car.

That's got to feel good!

 

[ksr]

This definitely resonates with me. I consider myself a minimalist, and when I reflect on it I realize that I have had these tendencies since I was young. And the older I get, the less stuff I want to have. Before I buy anything I think about whether I want to store it, clean it, maintain it, and possibly insure it. Very few things pass the test these days.

I also value a lack of stress in my life. This keeps me from making some home improvements that I know will be stressful. I know I will need to make some kitchen upgrades before I ever sell this house, and I have the money earmarked for the project. I tried to convince myself to start the project last year, but just couldn't get the momentum up to start. Maybe this year.

I look forward to downsizing (and the house I'm in now is not large by any means) and having less to maintain.

 

[ksr]

One especially cold day while shoveling, in very early 2020, I said heck with this I’m going to move. Within 2 months, I had sold my house and moved into an apartment. I had used a senior relocating service that had held my hand thru the process. They dealt with the moving company, the recycling that was done in discarding my excess belongings and the packing and unpacking in my new abode.

I am now cozy in my apartment looking out my large patio door, with a 15 below zero temperature outside. I am very grateful right now. I am managing less and less as I age.

This sounds wonderful!

 

[Koolau]

I'm trying to w*rk on this concept now, but it's daunting and I live in two relatively small places (here and on mainland.) My only maintenance is inside - and that seems to be too much for me sometimes!

 

[pacergal]

Timely thread. We have purged yearly since retirement. And as time goes by, we are having conversations about downsizing vs staying in place, sell and buy smaller or rent. As we age, we know home and yard upkeep will be more problematic, so that feeds into the decisions. Lots of talking and choices still to be made!

We still have stuff, just less. And still have some kids "stuff"--they did come and take/purge quite a bit.

Our home is single story, no stairs except one from the garage entry. Over the years, we have removed and replaced high maintance yard/garden with lower needs plants, removed troublesome trees, etc.
We live a fairly simple life, so already pretty stress free.

 

[GaryInCO]

My main "do I want to manage it" item is my house. I held onto it after my ex dumped me. It's ridiculously large for one person (~4000 sq ft furnished) but it's a beautiful lakefront location, and it's my *home*. It's a beautiful peaceful place to live, and I've lived here over half my life. I don't mind the yardwork &etc but the periodic maintenance (paint, etc) gets $$old$$. But my kids will benefit because it's doubled in value in the last 10-12 years.

I have a renter in the walk-out basement apartment, which is an important part of my retirement income. Bit of a hassle, but worth it to live here.

So I did most of my "simplifying" when DW hit the road. Other than a modest amount of furniture I have very little beyond one storage room of "stuff" and some junk in the garage. If I ever decide to downsize, it'll be fairly simple. And my kids live nearby so I can recruit them.

I always hear about the strong retirement income streams earned from investing and renting real estate - and I always envied those with the energy and skills to do this.

But I just can't imagine dealing with tenant calls...finding trustworthy, effective, affordable property mgrs...

FWIW in 30+ years of rentals, I had two problematic tenants. I mostly managed the rentals myself (because mostly it was no hassle at all), but we hired a manager for my mom's rentals. First guy I called turned out to be a gem. It's no hassle at all with a good manager, but it does cut into your income.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

Thanks for this post.
I have been talking about decluttering for ages and yet most stuff still remains. I rattle around in a big house full of still working items that I don't need, want or use. I'd also like to move to a smaller home so I really need to get a move on.
My son doesn't keep stuff he no longer needs and posts it all for free in his community Facebook page and it's gone in a flash.
A couple of months ago I put some stuff out for my trash company to pick up. Overnight most of it disappeared including a still working 50" rear projection TV. I can't believe anyone would still want it but someone did. Reminded me of the saying your trash is someones elses treasure.

 

[donheff]

That's a pretty good way to describe it. And what you want to manage changes with age and circumstances. DW and I used to like traveling in a DIY fashion with minimal plans. We liked the flexibility to change our minds mid-stream, figure out public transportation in foreign cities, etc. But now we like everything packed up and handled. We take bike tours that are all setup, transportation, equipment, accommodations. We went to Antarctica and rafting in the Grand Canyon, with everything handled for us. No way I am going to fly into some mega city and figure out the transportation system.

Similarly with cooking, I have lost interest in managing complex food preparation, which I used to enjoy. Now it's easy recipes or delivery. On the other hand, I still wander into new interests that are complex and require a bit of management to handle, e.g., the deep space astrophotography rabbit hole I went down this year.

 

[old medic]

When we finally get to move into the house, theres 2 storage building of stuff that will get a review and heave ho... if we have needed it in 5 years ... we jus dont need it.

 

[folivier]

We've gone through as many phases of downsizing as we did upsizing while raising the kids. Now I think we have the best of everything. A nice log cabin in a great remote community in Colorado. A nice 3/2 condo in the city near our boys and grandkids. Condo has a great walking score in a nice safe area.
At the cabin I get the outdoors fix I need and we plan to keep it until it becomes too much of a burden. Then we'll sell it and just have the condo. Plan to have the master bathroom remodeled soon to remove the large jetted tube to build a large shower, handicap accessible just in case.
When I first retired we sold the 4000 sq ft home with pool, large barn, and 1.6 acres of yard maintenance. Traveled in the motorhome for a few years. Sold that, bought a 3/2 house in a retirement community complete with children running the HOA. Got tired of that and bought the condo last year. Had a couple other smaller motorhomes, spent summer in Alaska in '19, did monthly VRBO rentals, 6 weeks in Europe, etc.
Now just enjoying life, IOW our plans were flexible and we adapt as we need to.
Isn't retirement great?

 

[LateToFIRE]

This is a timely thread for me as I'm cruising towards FIRE. As with some others, DW and I have two homes, town and country, both of which require extensive maintenance and upkeep. It's not just the expense, its time and attention. And even though we have a bit of hired help, its still a pain, for example someone we've relied on for years just retired themselves - how dare they! So, now the process of finding someone new begins - and competing with all the other of their clients looking for the same service.

Once I'm, no longer w*rking the plan is to sell the primary home and consolidate into the vacation home. I'm really looking forward to being rid of the responsibility that comes with two homes. But, we've got a couple decades of accumulated stuff to sort thru, consolidate and get rid of - it's going to be painful and liberating at the same time.

I am looking forward to simplification. That's what I am craving right now. My life is too complicated and I know that once I FIRE, I'm going to need to be good at saying "no" a lot. At least I think so. Of course, I suppose maybe I might just hear crickets when I pull the ripcord. Gulp.

 

[Music Lover]

We're in Mexico for 6 weeks and came down with a suitcase each so we know that we can get by with a lot less.

We also have a cabin and I'm tired of maintaining 2 places. So the house will probably be sold in 3 or 4 years and we'll move to an apartment while keeping the cabin.

Quoting myself, just yesterday we met with another Canadian couple that manages and lives in the 8 unit rental across the street and screens the potential tenants. We're now on the waiting list for a unit, which will cost about the same for 12 months that we're currently paying for just 2 months.

When a place becomes available there's a chance that we'll just bounce back and forth between our cabin in Canada and the rental in Mexico without getting an apartment in Canada.

I guess we have a lot more purging to do...

 

[skyking1]

^sweet deal Music Lover. I'd like to do that but DW, not so much.
That is some ultimate snowbirding IMO.
We are building new and that will bring a big natural purge when we sell the old place.