Does the age you retire early make a difference in how others see you?

[Alex The Great]

I retired at 56 and 3/4. After a while, some of my friends who still work in their 60s started to wonder why I'm not looking for a job and look happy overall. It was a surprise to them how I can get up at the morning and don't struggle to live how they do, how I can occupy my time (they don't understand investment job I talk about) without getting bored, drunk and upset.

 

[badatmath]

I have recently retired early, but it was not super early. I was 56, almost 57. My husband retired at 59.

I haven't been retired very long, but I haven't really been treated differently. I sometimes read things about people being treated negativity or subjected to rude remarks. I wonder if that is more common for people who retire at a much younger age.

I also wonder if money is a factor. I live a middle class lifestyle, the same as when I worked. I think some negativity is partly people reacting to displays of wealth.

The only negativity I have experienced has been online (not this site).

I was directly called lazy more than once (retired at 55). Still get told to "get a job".

 

[Midpack]

Who cares? If you let someone else’s comments bother you, that’s your problem, not theirs. I’m always baffled at the periodic posts here asking how to explain retiring early to others.

 

[youbet]

Who cares? If you let someone else’s comments bother you, that’s your problem, not theirs. I’m always baffled at the periodic posts here asking how to explain retiring early to others.

+1

Putting down non-FIRE'd folks or grandstanding how smart and "right" FIRE'd folks are does seem to be a prevalent topic here.

I'm guessing things will change (or are already changing) as careers and wealth accumulation are frequently different today than in our era. The "Gig Economy" and all that. The line between working and being fully retired is becoming blurry.

 

[COcheesehead]

Who cares? If you let someone else’s comments bother you, that’s your problem, not theirs. I’m always baffled at the periodic posts here asking how to explain retiring early to others.

My theory, so you know it’s wrong, is there is so much anti rich rhetoric in society. It gets into people’s heads that if you have money - define that your own way - you must have achieved it by being a crook, having help from your parents, inherited it, etc and you are likely an arrogant bastard. So when you find yourself with finally having some coin, you are a little ashamed of it. Why else would someone feel bad about achieving one’s goals?
This forum is one of the only places I can openly discuss our financial success without being judged or at least not openly.

 

[marko]

I'm still trying to understand how you end up in a situation where people have the opportunity to inquire to such a depth as to illicit such comments.

Yes. People always casually ask what you do for a living but i just can't imagine what kind of crowd ends up feeling that they can then comment, judge or criticize beyond that.

As my grandma use to say "its just not done". This whole thing is just so far out of my known universe.

"Oh good for you" should be the most you should ever get.

 

[imjustawarrior]

I'm still trying to understand how you end up in a situation where people have the opportunity to inquire to such a depth as to illicit such comments.

Yes. People always casually ask what you do for a living but i just can't imagine what kind of crowd ends up feeling that they can then comment, judge or criticize beyond that.

As my grandma use to say "its just not done".

Family knows. All my neighbors know because I am walking the dog and working in the yard during normal business hours. One of the first questions in meeting someone is "What do you do?"

I find it difficult to conceal that I retired early. Fortunately, it is easy for me to ignore the negative responses.

 

[skyking1]

My DW retired at 29. I retired at 55.

The responses were:
Congratulations! That is great!
You are too young.
What are you going to do with your time?

Some people get it. Some people can't wrap their minds around it. There are always people who want to impose their values upon you about one thing or another. ER is no different. I just shrug it off and move on with enjoying my life.

It was so odd with my middle sister. She got stuck on me retiring before Medicare and taking SS, because that was her path. It was funny watching her work through that in her head. Now it is all good of course but she was concerned that it would not work. How could it? It is not what SHE did LOL.

 

[Time2]

I got some weird reactions at first. One fellow made a weird scene, "how can he be retired?", he asked loudly in a group. And it concerned me for a while.

I would answer!
Oh it was easy, I just lived below my income and invested my savings in the S&P 500 for XX years.
Want to know more?

 

[TheWizard]

Family knows. All my neighbors know because I am walking the dog and working in the yard during normal business hours. One of the first questions in meeting someone is "What do you do?"

Answer: "I walk dogs and manage investments."

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

These discussions always remind me of this song:

 

[N02L84ER]

My brother, who is 5 years younger than I am, retired years before I did. My DH, who is 1 year younger than I am, retired years before I did. When I finally retired at age 52 everyone wondered why I waited so long.

 

[Drifter]

I certainly dont don't care or worry about what the next guy thinks. Besides,he isn't living my life. I am.

 

[Happy Homebody]

Who cares? If you let someone else’s comments bother you, that’s your problem, not theirs. I’m always baffled at the periodic posts here asking how to explain retiring early to others.

So mostly, I don't get negative comments from it.

I was curious because I occasionally read things from people who do get negative comments. Why is it that some people get negative comments and others don't?

I have a few theories. One is that retiring a little early is more acceptable than retiring very early. The other is that it is more about wealth. So people living a more rich lifestyle might get more flack.

Another possibility is that some people might be self righteousness or obnoxious about it. Maybe without realizing it

 

[Happy Homebody]

My theory, so you know it’s wrong, is there is so much anti rich rhetoric in society. It gets into people’s heads that if you have money - define that your own way - you must have achieved it by being a crook, having help from your parents, inherited it, etc and you are likely an arrogant bastard. So when you find yourself with finally having some coin, you are a little ashamed of it. Why else would someone feel bad about achieving one’s goals?
This forum is one of the only places I can openly discuss our financial success without being judged or at least not openly.

I wonder if this more of an online thing than an in person thing.

I have run into this anti rich idea online. Often these people divide the world into the financially struggling and the rich. And because I am not struggling financially, I somehow get thrown into the same category as some business owner exploiting their low paid workers.

I don't think it represents the majority option. But people with this attitude tend to post a lot. Just a few people like this is a group is enough to make interacting with the group unpleasant.

So, like you, this is the only group I feel comfortable with discussing it with.

 

[COcheesehead]

I wonder if this more of an online thing than an in person thing.

I have run into this anti rich idea online. Often these people divide the world into the financially struggling and the rich. And because I am not struggling financially, I somehow get thrown into the same category as some business owner exploiting their low paid workers.

I don't think it represents the majority option. But people with this attitude tend to post a lot. Just a few people like this is a group is enough to make interacting with the group unpleasant.

So, like you, this is the only group I feel comfortable with discussing it with.

You may be onto something.
Not here, but on at least two other forums if I alluded to having done well in life, it was first doubted, then questioned as not being the result of my own efforts, my parents must have helped me and have even been called a few names. Disgusting behavior really.

 

[MarieIG]

It may - but unless we're talking about your spouse or SO, it doesn't really matter. For the most part, people are more interested in what they are than what you are doing.

Before I had any interest in retirement, one of my older cousins sold his business for an extremely lucrative sum, and retired at age 50. At the time, I didn't think poorly of him, but didn't understand it as, at the time, I had no desire to retire myself. (Later on, I did understand.)

 

[audreyh1]

We didn’t volunteer anything to strangers, and still don’t.

Family of course knew. A few very close friends.

Certainly work colleagues - many of my predecessors already had retired early due to the company being successful.

The immediate neighbors who we were cordial with and had lived next to for over 15 years. Living in a high tech city it wasn’t unheard of.

Being introverts we didn’t socialize much locally beyond the handful of very long time friends so we didn’t talk about it beyond that. Occasionally it would come up when traveling with a group and we volunteered little. Only a very few people were nosey enough to ask about our personal lives.

Now we are finally at respectable retired ages! Ha ha

 

[badatmath]

I don't think there is any hidden meaning except that some people are just rude.

 

[Slim11]

I retired at 49. And yea, jealous is a thing. Thinking your older when you tell them your retired is a thing. People ask what do you do , well I am retired. I get weird looks. Its uncomfortable some times. Especially when I drive around my commuter car from 2009. Then they think I am homeless, poor and a bum. I try to tell them, I am just a bum. Lol. I do have a newer car. I just like the old one more.

 

[Alex The Great]

Especially when I drive around my commuter car from 2009. Then they think I am homeless, poor and a bum.

Hmm, I did not know the car makes so much difference. I drive 2014 Buick Encore in perfect condition and ~80K miles on it and I don't have any other car, is it still acceptable? Not to be seen as homeless?

 

[Slim11]

Well it definitely makes a difference on how people see you. Unless its a Lamborghini. Plus yours is like 5 years newer! Lol. Edited to add , I am guessing my t shirt atire dosen't help.

 

[Surewhitey]

I was directly called lazy more than once (retired at 55). Still get told to "get a job".

Same here when I work the busy intersections. Lots of honking too.

 

[Out of Steam]

There is a couple living behind our house who work to make sure they never have to talk to me. I suspect it is because they are about 10 years older than my wife and I and still working full-time, including evening hours.

 

[Winemaker]

Most folks in our circle just asked us how we were paying for health care, to see if we found a quirk or loophole in the system. When we told them we were just writing a $18-19k check annually, most said the couldn't afford that and were going to w*rk longer. One neighbor is still w*rking at 73.