Hi everyone – first post here! My opening question isn’t about finances (safe withdrawal rate, sequence of return risk, expected expenses, 60/40 allocation, defined-benefit vs. defined-contribution, call-options on Nvidia, pork belly futures,…), but about emotions.
Some people struggled in their youth, finding themselves say at age 30, essentially with nothing… or at least, nothing in a material sense. Zero net worth. Lousy job. Poor prospects. Then they had an epiphany… got it together, bootstraps, bull by horns, Horatio Alger books, etc. 30 years later, they’re affluent, looking back with righteous self-congratulation, on how they turned their lives around. Emotionally, they’re secure.
Others started at some tender age, initially as textbook example to emulate. No avocado toast. Coffee brewed at home. Room-mates, Roth IRA, S&P 500, dollar cost averaging, etc. Career looks solid. Life looks solid. But then the excrement hit the wire-mesh-encased indoor propeller. Even if the finances are for argument’s sake secure, emotionally, such a person… wouldn’t be.
The second above variant, in more modest form, is my story. Portfolio stayed the course, but career blew-up in my mid 40s. Some green-shoots of recovery thence, but then a layoff in my early 50s. The lifelong plan was FI without RE. Fill the burlap sack with shekels, but don’t abandon my stall at the market. Instead, the authorities came around, closing my stall.
Personal details: no dependents (no spouse, kids or living parents), no debts (also no house), no roots (a mistake – but a topic for a different time), decent health (knock on wood), no costly hobbies. As for the “barista” part, my likely gig is part-time teaching at the local college, as adjunct. It offers just enough salve for wounded vanity, that one can (with some stretching) convince oneself, that one remains active in the field. Where would we be, without our delusions?
After the prolix intro, the questions: how do we wrangle our emotions to allow ourselves to accept premature conclusion of our careers? In what sense ought we to keep scurrying to enable a second act? When/how does the push – layoff! – meld with the pull, into declaring oneself semi-retired? How do we convince ourselves, that it’s going to be OK… without getting mired in delusions? In short… how do we master our emotions?
Some people struggled in their youth, finding themselves say at age 30, essentially with nothing… or at least, nothing in a material sense. Zero net worth. Lousy job. Poor prospects. Then they had an epiphany… got it together, bootstraps, bull by horns, Horatio Alger books, etc. 30 years later, they’re affluent, looking back with righteous self-congratulation, on how they turned their lives around. Emotionally, they’re secure.
Others started at some tender age, initially as textbook example to emulate. No avocado toast. Coffee brewed at home. Room-mates, Roth IRA, S&P 500, dollar cost averaging, etc. Career looks solid. Life looks solid. But then the excrement hit the wire-mesh-encased indoor propeller. Even if the finances are for argument’s sake secure, emotionally, such a person… wouldn’t be.
The second above variant, in more modest form, is my story. Portfolio stayed the course, but career blew-up in my mid 40s. Some green-shoots of recovery thence, but then a layoff in my early 50s. The lifelong plan was FI without RE. Fill the burlap sack with shekels, but don’t abandon my stall at the market. Instead, the authorities came around, closing my stall.
Personal details: no dependents (no spouse, kids or living parents), no debts (also no house), no roots (a mistake – but a topic for a different time), decent health (knock on wood), no costly hobbies. As for the “barista” part, my likely gig is part-time teaching at the local college, as adjunct. It offers just enough salve for wounded vanity, that one can (with some stretching) convince oneself, that one remains active in the field. Where would we be, without our delusions?
After the prolix intro, the questions: how do we wrangle our emotions to allow ourselves to accept premature conclusion of our careers? In what sense ought we to keep scurrying to enable a second act? When/how does the push – layoff! – meld with the pull, into declaring oneself semi-retired? How do we convince ourselves, that it’s going to be OK… without getting mired in delusions? In short… how do we master our emotions?
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