Family Lending Horror Story

[albireo13]

Why would he do that? How would he have his hooks in you anymore than a regular lender?

You had to know him. He could also be manipulative so, I didn't want any part of owing him money.
Besides, I didn't need a refinance. I had a good income and my mortgage rate was easy.

I felt that there was a definite unspoken fear from my wife's family that I would remarry and they would never see the kids again ... or some such scenario. I had 3 young children at the time. They were always asking to see the kids, etc. I had no intention of cutting off that side of the family from my kids and kept in touch and visited them often for years afterwards. They relaxed after they realized I wanted to keep the relationship going.

 

[Markola]

I only do gifts, and very selectively.

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

My wife and I have given outright gifts of low five figures to her brother and his wife. They are in a creative field and have had an erratic financial life. Lending was never an option--we never expected it to be paid back (nor wanted it back). They have dreams of a big score someday and we would be thrilled to see them rich and happy.

When we were just getting married (41 years ago!) we were buying an apartment and were temporarily short about $1,500 for final closing costs due to a timing issue. For the first and only time I asked my brother for a cash loan for 10 days to cover things. He was happy to oblige and made it a handshake loan. I paid it back on day 11 with the dollar or two of imputed accrued interest! He was surprised; but I never wanted to feel indebted to someone, even if it was for pennies!

-BB

 

[jazz4cash]

You had to know him. He could also be manipulative so, I didn't want any part of owing him money.
Besides, I didn't need a refinance. I had a good income and my mortgage rate was easy.

I felt that there was a definite unspoken fear from my wife's family that I would remarry and they would never see the kids again ... or some such scenario. I had 3 young children at the time. They were always asking to see the kids, etc. I had no intention of cutting off that side of the family from my kids and kept in touch and visited them often for years afterwards. They relaxed after they realized I wanted to keep the relationship going.

Ok thanks, I get it. I would've replied as indicated. The response you posted before seemed a bit harsh.

 

[FIREd]

I lent money to my sister and she repaid me promptly. I would lend money to my father if he ever needed it because I know he's trustworthy. That's it, I would not lend money to any other family member. I have given money to my mother. In my mind it was a gift because I knew that she had a habit of not repaying her debts. She did swear that she would pay me back because she felt "ashamed" to borrow from her kid but she never did even when she had extra income. So I did well not to expect repayment from her.