Welcome to the board, Grizz!
Before I get into the details, better answers to your questions might be found by searching the old threads for keywords. Many of your questions have been asked months or years before by others who are now ER-hardened veterans. You could also go to the "Best of the Boards" section to read the threads on "How did you prepare for ER?" and "Handling the 'just one more year' syndrome".
1. what do you tell people when they ask "what do you do for a living?" somehow saying that you are retired when you aren't even 40 doesn't seem like the best answer.
The first thing to consider is why you feel that way. If you're concerned for your safety ("Ooooh, a rich American hostage!") or about being pestered for loans & charitable donations then it's probably wise to dissemble. But if you're concerned about how your relatives will gossip or what your neighbors will think then it's worth figuring out why you're not proud to be ER'd. You certainly worked hard enough for it and you shouldn't have to carry around a backpack full of survivor's guilt.
Some try a smart-aleck approach: "Now I do whatever I want, and I have a lot of catching up to do" or "I'm waiting on the biopsy results" or "I'm a salesman. I sold my company and now I'm looking for something else to sell." Others go for a diversion: "I'm between jobs right now. Say, how 'bout those Steelers!" or "Why, do you know anyone who's hiring?" Another approach is avocation: "I'm a programmer" or "I'm a property manager" or "I'm an engineer. My last project was the Space Station's computer power supply." Since you've harvested the fruits of your labors, you could say "I sold my company and now I'm trying to decide what I want to do next."
2. There is only so much yard work and keeping in good physical shape to do, and hanging out with the 65+ crowd of retirees, and volunteering to a great extent isn't likely going to be for me. Having kids in school makes a nomadic existence impossible. I'd like to think that I have enough imagination to keep myself occupied with various projects, but I'm not sure. Ideas?
I'm 46 years old and I've been ER'd for just over five years. When you're all caught up on your yardwork, I'll send you a plane ticket and you can help me catch up on my mine. We'll both be winners!
There are more people in their 30s & 40s hanging around than you might expect. Not everyone works 9-5 weekdays, some are unemployed, and others are at-home parents. Once you have your own time to hang out, they'll find you... especially if you're at the beach.
Seriously, your concern is one of the top three worries before ER, and afterward every ER wonders what the heck they were worried about. Remember when we were eight years old during summer vacation? Was there any trouble filling the day with activities? After a couple months of recuperating from your workplace fatigue, your interests & hobbies will resurface with a vengeance and you'll find yourself involved in new activities. You sound like you have plenty waiting for you in your garage. Take it easy and see what develops-- you have the rest of your life to decide
if you want to grow up, let alone what you want to be. This is a unique chance to forget about who you "were" and to become someone new.
While you're taking it easy and now that you're responsible for your own entertainment, you could read Ernie Zelinski's "How to Retire Happy, Wild, & Free"-- especially the brainstorming exercise of his Get-A-Life tree. I've had a copy on my desk for the last three years but I've been too busy to get around to it.
As for the kids' nomadic existence, right now thousands of military parents are laughing too hard to continue reading. (We know a military couple who backpacked toddlers all over Europe from their duty station in Italy.) You could spend entire summers in a nomadic existence by renting a condo near Disneyland or in San Diego or by taking the Great American Camping Vacation. Your kids will find plenty of things for you to do at home, starting with driving them everywhere and spending all your money on them-- zoos, parks, sporting events, museums, and all the stuff you never had time to visit before. Actually they'll be thrilled to have you spending time with them and it won't really matter what the activity is-- playgrounds, camping, running errands, helping with homework-- whatever.
One of our more senior ERs spent the first couple years of his ER keeping up pretenses for his teenage daughter. Each morning he'd dress in business attire, leave the house, drive away, and sneak back after she'd left for school. Years later when she was an adult, he mentioned the subterfuge. She pointed out that she was way too busy with being a teenager to notice, and if she had noticed then she wouldn't have cared. So don't expect your kids to take you too seriously, although they'll be thrilled to have you around. Our kid was nine years old when I retired, and she bragged to everyone that her Dad was retired and could chaperone every school field trip. (The teacher called my bluff, too.) Principals, pediatricians, & orthodontists will actually come out of their offices to meet you, saying "I've heard so much about you!"
3. I could go to work for the company that is purchasing mine and give that an honest shot for a while, but how motivated can one be to work extra hours and give it your all when you know that yoú really don't need the extra $$?
Good luck with that. I couldn't muster the motivation for a new career either, let alone deal with the hassles of commuting, workplace attire, meetings, overtime, working weekends... you get the point.
4. Has anyone ever sold their business and then gone to work for the purchaser, or know of anyone who has? I've heard that those that are accustomed to being in charge usually don't fare well.
Not me, but how'd you like to buy out GE and have Jack Welch working for you? Unless you've sold out to Warren Buffett, you're going to feel like you have people looking over both your shoulders. Nobody's going to be happy with the buyout-and-stay deal. Far better to be on call for an occasional consulting fee, where they can listen raptly to your wisdom and then ignore it.
5. How do people, friends, relatives react when they find out that you aren't working at such an early age. Is resentment and jealousy typical? Are conversations strained when you talk with others about what you've been doing lately after they tell you about their job, or do you try to avoid that topic?
Badly. Sometimes with insane jealousy & envy. How would you expect them to act if you're leaving their [-]shared misery[/-] rat race? You're a traitor!!
You have to give them the chance to ignore it-- don't rub it in. I love surfing but I've learned not to drive by the school bus stop, longboard on the roof rack, smiling & waving while classic rock blares from the speakers, when my daughter is waiting to go to school. I've also learned not to greet my working friends on Thursday afternoon with "Hey, how many times have you been surfing this week? Is it gnarly or what!!"
If asked, make it their problem. Tell them that you've sold the company and you're taking a little time off with family to decide what to do next. Then let them drive the conversation for a while. If they keep bringing "you" up again, keep changing the subject ("How 'bout them Steelers!"). If the relatives are from your spouse's family, then tell them that she's decided to start her own career while you raise the kids.
If you get "But you're too young to retire!!" then you can respond with "I used to be too young to have alcohol or sex, and I'm glad that I didn't wait then either." Or if it's "You're too young to be put out to pasture!" you can say "Yeah, but I get to pick the pasture because we own the ranch." As for "But what will you DO all day?!?" there's "I'm still a parent", "I'm working on the house & yard", "You don't surf, do you?!?" and "I'm making it up as I go along."
6.Do people try to get money from you since they likely assume that you are fabulously wealthy, even though you only have enough to live a middle-upper middle class lifestyle?
Not necessarily, but you will certainly learn who your real friends are.
One day my kid looked over my shoulder at the Quicken screen and said "Holy [-]sh[/-] cow, Dad, that's a lot of money-- we're rich!!" I gave her the Cosby answer ("No, your mother and I have money but
you are broke.") and said "That looks like a lot of money now, but this has to last for the rest of our lives or we'll have to move in with you so that you can take care of us until we die." That ended the lifestyle discussion.
Another response is "I have to make this money last for the next 50 years, and I'm not going back to work to give some of it to ______" or "Well, actually I was wondering if you know any place to get cheap health insurance" or "Thanks, but we're handling our giving anonymously through our donor-advised fund. What's your tax ID number?"
It's hard to figure out what you're going to do with your ER until you actually have the time to do it. So take it easy, read some of the books recommended here, and you'll [-]make it up[-/] figure it out as you go. After all, now you have the time to devote to doing it properly!
