For the men here, how old were you when your father died?

[Cujet]

Why is this thread limited to men and fathers?

The reason is that men have significantly shorter lifespans, on average. My father certainly failed early, by 65 he was failing hard. He died at 70 despite a lifetime of eating carefully and exercising regularly. My mother is still thriving at 86, and still does 50 mile bicycle rides in Vermont. While some men live a very long time, most do not. Currently, the average mature American man dies at age 73. This is a sobering statistic, and is in direct contrast to what the Social Security Administration would have us believe.

Furthermore, men are traditionally the main earners and contribute 50% more than women to Social Security. Put another way, dad works hard to provide for his family, is very productive, retires late, dies early. And society gives not a care, nobody seems to care. That bothers me.

The 6+++ years of additional life American women enjoy (12+ years for Russian women) is used to statistically push men to work longer. My MIL is 97, FIL died 25 years ago. This is not uncommon.

This forum is about early retirement. One valid reason for early retirement is the very real potential for a man's early death.

I am 61 and retired, because of health. And I promise, my health issues are not my fault.

 

[jazz4cash]

I was 43, my father was 62 and he died of chronic alcoholism. As much as he drank, I never really had a father. My inheritance was to pay for the funeral and support my mother until she passed. Not all stories are nice.

Similar but I was 15 and he was 52. I didn’t have to pay for anything and I inherited his 65 Ford Falcon with no heat. My siblings are all older and had much different experiences with him.

 

[Bestwifeever]

The reason is that men have significantly shorter lifespans, on average. …

Hmm, my mother died at 50 and my father died nine years later but being as I am not a man, never mind….

 

[mystang52]

I was 54 when my father died. He kind of fell off a cliff, figuratively speaking. In the space of three months he went from driving and working part time to being wheelchair-bound in a nursing home. He lasted just over a year in the nursing home before he died.

He was a good dad and I miss him.

Similar for me. I was 58, Dad passed at 91. He lost a bit of his faculties in his last few years but was generally healthy until he was 90. That last year wasn't good.

 

[Cujet]

Hmm, my mother died at 50 and my father died nine years later but being as I am not a man, never mind….

I'm sorry to hear that. That is quite early to lose both parents.

 

[wmc1000]

69/96 at passing

 

[Alex The Great]

My dad passed away in last year's March at 93. His health started to decline four months before the death. I was 57 at the time.

 

[Gumby]

The reason is that men have significantly shorter lifespans, on average. ..... While some men live a very long time, most do not. Currently, the average mature American man dies at age 73.
.....

Actually, according to the Centers for Disease Control, the average life expectancy at birth today is

• Both sexes: 77.5 years
• Males: 74.8 years
• Females: 80.2 years

FastStats

FastStats is an official application from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) and puts access to topic-specific statistics at your fingertips.

www.cdc.gov

But if you've made it this far, you can expect more. For example, if you are currently 65 and white, your average remaining life expectancy is

• Both sexes: 18.4 years (83.4)
• Males: 17.0 years (82.0)
• Females: 19.7 years (84.7)

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr72/nvsr72-12.pdf

I take no position on the editorial aspects of your post, but we should at least have the actual statistics in hand.

 

[sparky08]

58/83

Dad was heathy and independant unil around 80. Then alzheimers set in. He was in a memory care unit in 2020 when Covid swept through the facility. He was one of the early victims.

 

[kcowan]

58/95 and spent the last 15 years spending quality Sundays with him. Before that we lived too far away. He still drove and lived independently. Fell and broke his hip in his bedroom

Mom 28/58 due to breast cancer. Rough time changing jobs, location, wife retiring having first child.

 

[Spokane2303]

I was 15, Dad was 49. He stayed home from work because he thought he had the flu. I found him dead when I came home from Jr High School. Heart attack.

Dad was my best friend! We spent every weekend hunting, fishing, camping, riding dirt bikes and our dune buggy.
He survived the bombing of Pearl Harbor, his submarine arrived hours afterwards, and spent the entire war on multiple subs.

I was numb for weeks and still think of him daily 54 yrs later.
Fortunately I also had a wonderful grandfather who was there for me.

 

[garyt]

I was 45. My father was awesome, kind of a larger than life character with a booming voice, he died at 70. He was quite ill from before his 65th up until the end. I am 61 and my health is likely worse than his at this point, despite supreme effort on my part.

I was reading a similar thread and it was incredibly informative on a number of levels. I hope you participate and answer here. I really like reading the stories, and that's not the only reason for me asking the question. Let's see how it goes and if we have sufficient responses, draw a conclusion. Clearly some folks had great fathers, some did not. Some folks shared a good or bad memory, and some had fathers who may still be alive but have been out of communication for decades.

Share please! It is nice to tell stories about our ancestors, please tell one! In some way, it keeps the memory alive.

My father just passed on Thanksgiving morning at 100. I am 67. He was my best friend. We did things together at least 3 times a week for the last 40+ years, from softball to golf to going to the casino. Miss him terribly.

 

[garyt]

I'm 66 and he's 89. In good shape for being so old. I don't know yet.

Hopefully you don't find out for a long, long time!

 

[HFWR]

69, 93

 

[AudiDudi]

20, 42 - lung cancer. smoker, welder volunteer fireman

 

[Flieger]

61, 86
Guillain-Barre

 

[tominboise]

My dad died in 2003. He was 83 and I was 43. My mom died a year before him. They both died of bladder cancer. They were both smokers from a young age until 1983 when my mom had a heart attack and a quadruple bypass. They quit smoking and that bought them another 20 years.
I miss him every day and find myself more and more like him as I age. He was a great dad. He survived polio and navy service in WWII. Above all he was a man of integrity and honor.

 

[mountainsoft]

My step dad died at 39 (I was 21). He drowned while riding his horse across a river (that we had crossed many times before).

My birth dad died at 51 (I was 27). He smoked and drank his whole life and died of lung cancer. He died about one year after our daughter was born. While he never got to meet her (we lived on opposite sides of the country), at least he knew he was a grandfather.

My second step dad died at 58 (I was 40). He had a stroke, probably due to smoking, drinking, and drug use. Mom never remarried after that, but had a stroke herself at age 69. She too was a heavy smoker. She's still alive at 78.

I'm 61 now and have outlived all of my "dads".

My dad's dad lived to 74, and mom's dad lived to 87.

 

[Lorenzo]

I was 19 and in college when my dad passed away at 63. He never got to retire. I recall him working tirelessly, starting one ultimately unsuccessful entrepreneurial venture after another--at least one involving venture capital and manufacturing machines in Asia--but lost it all and died essentially penniless. Any wonder I chose to work only so hard, and only for others, in safe careers, investing conservatively in my 401ks and nothing more?

 

[disneysteve]

I was 28. He was 69 and died instantly of his second heart attack. We got married in July and he died in December.

 

[Livefree]

My Dad died last year in Assisted Living, where he had been for 5 years. He was 97, I was 69.

 

[Dtail]

62/92
My father was a really nice man. He was accepting of everyone and overall just a kind person. Never heard him yell and was never hit by him.

 

[flyingaway]

That was 2 years ago. I was 58 and my father was 91.5.

 

[bjorn2bwild]

I was 43, my father was 62 and he died of chronic alcoholism. As much as he drank, I never really had a father. My inheritance was to pay for the funeral and support my mother until she passed. Not all stories are nice.

+2
Very similar, I was 30 he was 56.
No tears were shed.

 

[Pointby2]

My father died in 1984 at age 63 when I was 29 years old.