Former colleague asked for a "favor"

[CO-guy]

Yesterday I bumped into a former colleague or, more accurately, they walked up to me while I was in the supermarket and asked me for a "favor." They're having their home renovated and were hoping that their contractor could stay in our STR. I suggested a nearby hotel which she described as "too expensive." When I pointed out that a luxury apartment is going to be more than a low-end hotel room, she said that she was hoping her contractor could stay in our STR "as a favor."

My response was to tell her, "we run a business, not a charity," and that favors are things like picking up the mail or watering planter beds if someone's out of town for the weekend. A favor is not a mortgage payment, and (thankfully) our place is fully booked for the summer. They seemed irritated, but I was unapologetic before wishing them well and walking away.

For reference, I haven't spoken to this person since they retired over 5 years ago and we weren't 'buddies' before then. So weird.

 

[Kings over Queens]

That is weird, and amplified by the amount of the "favor" and the randomness of the encounter. 5 year gap and they fortuitously run into you at the grocery while in need of a room for their contractor? so bizarre.

 

[pacergal]

A bit presumptuous, I would say. Just Wow.

 

[Sojourner]

Do you think there's any chance this person didn't just "bump into you", but knew you were going to be there and made sure she was there at the same time in order to ask for this favor? It just seems very weird to me that someone you hadn't seen or spoken to in over 5 years, and weren't particularly friendly with even back then, would randomly cross paths with you just at the exact moment she's trying to find cheap/free lodging for her contractor, and that you just happen to be someone with a STR who could help!

 

[omni550]

Nervy but not unexpected, imho.

I'm can't tell you how many people I've literally just met in some social setting whose ears perk up when they hear I have a snowbird condo in Florida. I've resorted to telling them that I don't loan it out to people when I'm not there. (And since I don't know them, I guess they've figured out I wouldn't be inviting them to stay with me when I AM there.) And then their interest in me visibly disappears. FWIW, it just happened again, this past Sunday.

omni

 

[Teacher Terry]

That really takes a lot of nerve and I can’t believe they even asked you!

 

[TickTock]

They seemed irritated, but I was unapologetic before wishing them well and walking away.

Good for you!

 

[HtownRose]

Well done. In my experience, the less detail provided the better "Oh, I'm so sorry, no I wouldn't be able to do that." No suggestions of alternatives, no reasons, nothing for them to latch onto & argue with. "Thank you for thinking of me though!" makes a nice ending to that line of discussion.

 

[YellowSubmarine]

Odd indeed. When those things happened to me long ago, it's usually not a good finish.

 

[aja8888]

I would have asked if they had a spare bedroom in their home to put up their contractor.

 

[imjustawarrior]

I probably would have said something like, "Only if my MIL can come live with you."

I like it when the other person has to say no rather than I saying no.

 

[TickTock]

"No problem. The favor rate is $1 less per month than the regular rate."

 

[latexman]

Some people have no shame.

 

[Tetto]

Wow so strange! My guess is the contractor was her friend and she was banking on a discount if you came through….people have b$lls. Well handled

 

[COcheesehead]

We had a neighbor like this. Always asking for something. Never acknowledging our efforts. We finally just started ignoring them. They eventually engaged at least 2 other neighbors with the same routine. All eventually just ignoring them. They will eventually run out of neighbors.

 

[Chuckanut]

I think you may have dodged a bullet. This former colleague sounds like a Crazy Maker.

 

[Midpack]

They seemed irritated, but I was unapologetic before wishing them well and walking away.

Entirely their problem, you’re right to NOT make it your problem…

I wouldn’t have any problem “politely” declining their “proposal.”

 

[MC Rider]

I'm not sure I would have wished them well.

 

[CO-guy]

I'm not sure I would have wished them well.

Sometimes I can be too polite. I said, "good luck with your project," before walking off. Oh, and I do see her out and about every so often (small town), but we've never chatted. I think this was just the first time she needed something from me.

While her request was absurd, I have noticed that some people seem to believe that being friends with a business owner is their ticket to a discount. We have many friends that own local businesses. We support those friends by using their businesses, paying for the services we receive and recommending them to others.

 

[djsander]

I would give them the added friends and family surcharge of 25%.

 

[threeonesix]

I might have said "sure, but only if your contractor does some work on my STR and you pay for the work". But only if I wanted to have work done.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Strange, but remember the saying, "It doesn't/ never hurts to ask." I think some grace is in order. Don't dwell on it and forgive them for asking. They're trying to navigate a very expensive project. It was likely a spontaneous and not well thought out idea that popped in their head when you were spotted. Let it go.

They may have seemed irritated, but how do you know they were? They were brave in asking you.

 

[Koolau]

Yesterday I bumped into a former colleague or, more accurately, they walked up to me while I was in the supermarket and asked me for a "favor." They're having their home renovated and were hoping that their contractor could stay in our STR. I suggested a nearby hotel which she described as "too expensive." When I pointed out that a luxury apartment is going to be more than a low-end hotel room, she said that she was hoping her contractor could stay in our STR "as a favor."

My response was to tell her, "we run a business, not a charity," and that favors are things like picking up the mail or watering planter beds if someone's out of town for the weekend. A favor is not a mortgage payment, and (thankfully) our place is fully booked for the summer. They seemed irritated, but I was unapologetic before wishing them well and walking away.

For reference, I haven't spoken to this person since they retired over 5 years ago and we weren't 'buddies' before then. So weird.

One summer as we were leaving for the mainland, some folks we "know" asked if they could move their visiting family into our place for a few days because folks were coming from the mainland for the daughter's wedding. I thought it was a bit presumptuous, but we allowed them to use our place since it wasn't revenue producing anyway. Still, it was sort of "since you're not gonna be using your place, we'd like to borrow it!" It's on US that we let them do it, so not really whining. Some people really have a lot of nerve (and I guess some of us don't know how to say no). They DID clean the place after their company left but we never got so much as a Gift Certificate to Panda Express.

 

[planuntilthefisthits]

… we never got so much as a Gift Certificate to Panda Express.

 

[CO-guy]

Strange, but remember the saying, "It doesn't/ never hurts to ask."

I disagree. I think it does hurt to ask sometimes. For example, they way overstepped some boundaries with this request which I interpreted to mean that they simply don't respect other people's boundaries.

I know they were irritated because they became visibly frustrated when I declined: First when I suggested a hotel alternative and more so when I explained that we run a business not a charity. Also, there was no small talk. No, "long time no see!" No, "How are you? How have you been?" Just straight to the, "I need the following from you because...."

The interaction seemed like more than a pet peeve, which is why I posted it here. Plus, I suspected other folks with rentals or other businesses have faced this same kind of issue with people asking for "favors" that overstep the relationship.