Former coworkers want me to keep in touch

[old medic]

My ex-boss took me out for breakfast a couple weeks back... I drop in the base from time to time. Even had the ambulance drop by the house a few times...

 

[imjustawarrior]

After I gave my 2 weeks notice about retiring, my manager tried to convince me to stay. I told him no. He asked why and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut even though my plan was to say nothing. I explained to him that I thought he made a lot of errors, treated me disrespectfully, and I had no desire to work for him. He flew from Tx to Co to try to convince me that he was really a great guy and that he wanted to stay in contact with me after I retired. I told him I would not stay in touch with him.

 

[COcheesehead]

Almost all my former employees still work for the company I sold, but I also live 4 hours away now. I still text occasionally with a few. We are friends on FB. We stop in and see them when we are back in the big city.
They treated me well. I treated them very well.

 

[pacergal]

I keep in touch with a few via text or Facebook. I see them for lunch occasionally, but those lunches are getting farther apart the longer I am retired.

If you desire to reach out, go ahead, but you are under no obligation.

 

[marko]

IIRC, you had mentioned him once before and under those circumstances, I can't say I blame you.

Actually, a different guy. I think it's that I just bring out the best in people. (or the mercenary side of them)

 

[skyking1]

You can look at your relationships with these acquaintances dispassionately. Work friends often have little in common beyond work stuff.
Some you share personal stuff with and have other connections. It will sort out fairly quickly.

My neighbors are going to be much harder to leave.

 

[MarieIG]

Actually, a different guy. I think it's that I just bring out the best in people. (or the mercenary side of them)

I suspect that you could not "bring out" something that is not already there.

 

[Dtail]

+1. I did have my right-hand man try to contact me last month after 20 years. I had tried to get in touch a few times early on but he always blew me off. Wouldn't even take my calls.

Now he wants to be friends?? How 'bout "no".

Probably he either needs a job, or money, or is dying.

 

[Koolau]

I suspect that you could not "bring out" something that is not already there.

Yeah, I've rarely been surprised by people I've known for a w*rking life-time. Their behavior seems to remain the same whether at w*rk or retired.

Though I don't need the fingers of one hand to count the people I found truly disagreeable at my w*rk, I simply didn't find but a couple of people I meshed with to the point I would have called them "friends." I was cordial with virtually everyone, but socialized (outside of w*rk functions) with only that couple of people.

 

[scrabbler1]

In my 23 years of work, I had only 2 coworkers I would call friends. We did things together outside of work. I attended the wedding of one of them. He is 67 now and I think has retired. I haven't spoken to him in a few years.

The other one I have stayed in touch with although he moved back to his hometown after retiring in 2019 (temporarily, it turned out, he returned to work but only remotely, during the Covid lockdown, it appeared). He is 66.

When I left the company in late 2008, I made sure in my good-bye email to not include my home email address. I didn't want anyone else to contact me.

 

[MarieIG]

In my 23 years of work, I had only 2 coworkers I would call friends. We did things together outside of work. I attended the wedding of one of them. He is 67 now and I think has retired. I haven't spoken to him in a few years.

The other one I have stayed in touch with although he moved back to his hometown after retiring in 2019 (temporarily, it turned out, he returned to work but only remotely, during the Covid lockdown, it appeared). He is 66.

When I left the company in late 2008, I made sure in my good-bye email to not include my home email address. I didn't want anyone else to contact me.

I didn't send out an e-mail. I told my boss and my work friends. My work friends already had my phone number.

 

[Route246]

Be available if they reach out.

Never turn down an opportunity to have a friend.

If it is about work, I would stop.

I'm not retired yet but will be in less than 5 months. For respected colleagues I always let them know I'm available to provide a professional reference if I truly respect their work. It goes a long way in my field because they can lookup who and what about me on LinkedIn, search for my work online, published papers, etc. I know of two situations where my professional reference, all done through phone calls did make the difference if that person got an offer or not for an elite position.

I too, never turn down an opportunity to have a friend, since I have so few due to family obligations tying up most of my social life. I don't golf, bowl, play pool or do any social activities anymore so my social life is pretty boring. I have ham radio contacts who I consider "friends" but most of them are very far away, which is the nature of the hobby.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

There's a strong alumni group associated with my old workplace that includes a monthly newsletter and quarterly reunions. I hit one every couple years, but I know people who are at each and every gathering.
My old workplace is holding an open house tomorrow for former employees. Free food and beverages are promised, so I'm there!

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

After I gave my 2 weeks notice about retiring, my manager tried to convince me to stay. I told him no. He asked why and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut even though my plan was to say nothing. I explained to him that I thought he made a lot of errors, treated me disrespectfully, and I had no desire to work for him. He flew from Tx to Co to try to convince me that he was really a great guy and that he wanted to stay in contact with me after I retired. I told him I would not stay in touch with him.

Sounds like an "exit interview."

 

[marko]

I have been retired a relatively short time.

When I left, the workplace was very stressful. My last couple weeks, I was told to stop saying "I am glad I only have a few weeks left." It made other people who were not in a position to retire and couldn't find different jobs feel bad.

This is why in my company, when you gave your notice or announced your retirement, the clock started ticking: you had two hours to clean out your desk. No martyrs or "dead men walking".

 

[Koolau]

This is why in my company, when you gave your notice or announced your retirement, the clock started ticking: you had two hours to clean out your desk. No martyrs or "dead men walking".

Generally, at my Megacorp, retirements were celebrated - if not with a party, at least with a handshake and a goodbye. People would come to your w*rk station/desk and glad hand you - perhaps with a bit of envy, but mostly with good wishes. Most retirees were, like me, long-service empl*yees. The number of people you knew was extensive as we w*rked with people in the plant, in other areas of research, at Corporate, at remote plant sites. It was more of a family than I've heard of at other companies. I understand that much of that is gone now since I left 20 years ago. Sad, really. I feel lucky to have been there when I was - and lucky to leave when I did.

 

[Midpack]

Twenty years later the people who I thought would stay in touch never did and those who I thought didn't care about me still stay in touch.

+100. That was the biggest surprise for me when retired 14 years ago. Some I thought would stay in touch disappeared, some within a few weeks. Others I thought I’d never hear from emailed or sent me Christmas cards year after year for about 10 years. I heard from one of my former department heads last year who I respected but clashed with at times - he’d just been promoted to Plant Manager and he told he me modeled his management style after my example ever since I left. I hired and promoted him to department manager but he never gave me that impression when we worked together. There was another Plant Manager those 13 years between us…

 

[pjigar]

I heard from one of my former department heads last year who I respected but clashed with at times - he’d just been promoted to Plant Manager and he told he me modeled his management style after my example ever since I left.

We are always setting examples for others. We just don't know it at the time and often we never find out.

 

[marko]

Generally, at my Megacorp, retirements were celebrated - if not with a party, at least with a handshake and a goodbye. People would come to your w*rk station/desk and glad hand you - perhaps with a bit of envy, but mostly with good wishes. Most retirees were, like me, long-service .

Oh, we'd have a really nice send-off for our long term employees, usually a restaurant style function thing with some really nice gifts. But it was always a week or two later. You left the building at the time of your announcement but came back a week later, maybe with your family etc.

In my case, after 34 years, I had been exiled to France (long, funny story) so a few in the French office took me out to dinner (they never needed much of an excuse). DW and I then flew to Cannes/Monte Carlo the next day and had a VERY expensive week on the beach, all charged to my final expense account.

 

[HFWR]

Never heard from most cow-orkers again. Not heartbroken.

Retirement parties went away probably late 90s. Used to be cake, cheese tray, veggie tray, etc. My retirement party was being walked to the door.

At least I qualified for retiree health insurance to tide me over to Medicare, plus a yearly donation to cover some of my supplement, not inflation adjusted…

Boss at my filler j*b to get me to 62 did buy lunch, and gave me a gift card. I walked to the door unaided.

 

[Koolau]

My Megacorp only walked people out who had been terminated. That was a very unpleasant thing to witness.

Fortunately, both reports I had to terminate were not present to be walked out. I had to box up their stuff and ship it to them. Also unpleasant but much less unpleasant than having security "hover" while the "victim" cleaned out his/her desk. (Heh, heh, I had one of each - a "his" and a "her").

Nasty business, anyway you do it. I'd never have guessed that some retirees would be "walked out" but I guess I'm naive and YMMV.

 

[HFWR]

My Megacorp only walked people out who had been terminated. That was a very unpleasant thing to witness.

Fortunately, both reports I had to terminate were not present to be walked out. I had to box up their stuff and ship it to them. Also unpleasant but much less unpleasant than having security "hover" while the "victim" cleaned out his/her desk. (Heh, heh, I had one of each - a "his" and a "her").

Nasty business, anyway you do it. I'd never have guessed that some retirees would be "walked out" but I guess I'm naive and YMMV.

I, along with 500 or so of my closest friends, were deemed disposable, but I had been around long enough to have grandfathered some retiree benefits. Layoff, downsize, rightsize, etc.

 

[djsander]

I retired back in February 2021. Since then one guy calls me once in a while as he was an engineer from another industry and I mentored him then I was his manager. His ex-wife had also been our dentist. We usually talk about his desire to change companies and how life is treating him. Another guy texts me around my birthday as his MIL has the same birthday as my and so he remembers mine. just chatting and seeing how each is doing. We moved out of state after retiring and there was no company offices in the area. However, the company was bought by a much larger company and there’s an office 15 minutes from here. A former coworker visited and we had dinner when he had to come to the area office for some records reviews and planning. He let them know there was an excellent engineer close by if they needed any assistance. I told him thanks for the recommendation, but no way. I’m done. Other than that no real contact with former coworkers.

 

[TickTock]

rightsize

*shudder/flinch/gag*

I remember that word. "Rightsize", as far as I could tell, meant "downsize". Except, possibly, for the CEO's golf buddy. Or mistress.

 

[Happy Homebody]

Last night I was thinking about this more.

One friend was a lady that I helped out a lot at work. She was always friendly to me. When I announced I was leaving her attitude changed. Then on my last day she acted friendly and conciliatory to me.

Just thinking about it makes me feel bad, so I decided not to reach out to her.

Another work friend was nice through my last day. We would eat lunch together about once a month. But we mostly talked about work. I know very little about her personal life. She would listen politely when I talked about my hobbies, but we don't seem to have any interests in common besides work.

I was on the fence about talking to her. I like her, but I was not sure if I wanted to talk about work, especially since the situation at work has been bad recently.

Last night, I had a bad dream about work. Something that hasn't happened for a few weeks. I didn't feel up to exercising and my stomach felt a little off.

I realized that was my answer. Talking with a coworker about the current situation at work would not be good for my mental health.