Funny Joke Thread 2021 to ?

[Qs Laptop]

The impressive thing about this is that the guy can keep a straight face throughout the entire performance. I wonder how many times they had to start over?

The background information below the video on YouTube is interesting. The guy is a well known narrator of technical videos back in the day. The narrator tried to memorize the Turbo Encabulator information but couldn't get it, so he invented the earphone feed of the audio used by most newsreaders today. He tape recorded the entire speech and then played it into a hidden earphone. The guy's delivery is flawless.

 

[Walt34]

Actions have consequences....

 

[Time2]

 

[frayne]

A loving wife's eulogy at her husband's funeral:







“Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on

record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was.



They urgently needed to know, to save Norman's life.



Tragically, I had never known his blood type, so



I only had time to sit and say goodbye.



I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading

away, he kept on whispering to me,



“Be positive, be positive!"







That was my Norman! Always thinking of others."

 

[CaptTom]

I'm very proud of my blood test results.

I got an A+

 

[ls99]

Keith Richards outlived Richard Simmons. So much for excercise and healthy eating.

 

[Time2]

Try explaining this to your insurance company without the video.

https://packaged-media.redd.it/kzjergbri7ed1/pb/m2-res_540p.mp4?m=DASHPlaylist.mpd&v=1&e=1721959200&s=9a777a251ffdbc0f6639fdc4f0865fa35e39f692#t=0

 

[frayne]

Truth !

 

[Yoheadden]

 

[Fermion]

 

[Walt34]

Bad product names....

 

[Qs Laptop]

 

[frayne]

The guy on the right looks like someone who hides a Beretta in the fridge in the event Jason Bourne comes calling.

 

[frayne]

Back when it was cool to be a nerd.

 

[Lewis Clark]

Drug dog typing up a report.

 

[Walt34]

Apparently, when you drink a pint of beer you shorten your lifespan by 9 minutes.

So according to my calculations, I died sometime in 1644.

 

[motley]

 

[motley]

Three blondes walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would've seen it coming.

 

[frayne]

 

[Walt34]

They had to ask...?

 

[REWahoo]

 

[motley]

Two elderly people are driving down the highway and going faster than they realize...

Next thing you know, they see the cop lights in the rear view mirror and pull over.

The cop says "yknow you were driving way too fast." Being hard of hearing, the wife says to her husband, "What did he say?" The husband goes "HE SAID YOU WERE GOING TOO FAST."

The cop says "I need to see your license please." The wife says to her husband, "What did he say?" The husband goes "HE SAID HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."

She hands it over, the cop looks at it and says "Oh you're from Arkansas. I dated a women once from Arkansas and she was the ugliest lady I ever saw."

The wife says to her husband, "What did he say?" The husband goes "HE SAID HE KNOWS YOU."

 

[GamblingMan]

My boss told me to have a great day...
so I put in my retirement papers.

 

[braumeister]

 

[BigNick]

A joke and satire together... Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement (The Onion).

Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement

WASHINGTON—Revealing that retirees have a lot to look forward to after exiting the workforce, the Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer Finances, published Wednesday, found that the majority of Americans had enough saved for an absolutely incredible single day of retirement. “By the time most...

theonion.com