Funny Joke Thread 2021 to ?

[Twilo123]

 

[ArmchairMillionaire]

My grandmother always said, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
I don't know if that's really true or just one of Granny's myths.

 

[mf15]

True joke. KP Easter Sunday 1970,Basic Training Ft. Bragg. The Turkeys came in all green and covered with mold. They cooked them anyway. I ate the Ham.
oldmike

 

[Twilo123]

True joke. KP Easter Sunday 1970,Basic Training Ft. Bragg. The Turkeys came in all green and covered with mold. They cooked them anyway. I ate the Ham.
oldmike

that's how u made it to be 'oldmike'

 

[frayne]

This gave me a chuckle today.

 

[frayne]

GO Browns.

 

[Twilo123]

 

[ls99]

^^^^ Yea, drinking beer just makes one the middle man, said somebody.

 

[Time2]

Along the same lines as the cartoon above, except this is no joke, except perhaps how it got all the way to the Minnesota Supreme Court! I wonder who was campaigning for this to be legal?

View attachment 55900

Female Breasts are not inherently sexual, except to 12 year olds males,
through to 85 year old males. Carry on.

 

[Twilo123]

 

[Davidhelp]

Tornado alert.
I saw a tornado bearing down on the house. I rushed down the stairs pushing aside the wife and kids on the way to the tornado shelter in the basement.

Just as I was closing the door to the shelter they arrived so I had to let them in.
I did not need to turn on the lights as the 'glare' from them lit up the room....

 

[Davidhelp]

A new parachute recruit was told for his first jump to pull the rip cord.
If the main chute failed, cut it away and pull the back up chute.
The truck would be waiting on the ground to take him back to base.

So the big day came.
He jumped, but the main chute failed to deploy.
He then pulled the cord on the back up chute, but it also failed to deploy.

The new recruit said to himself
I bet that truck won't be there waiting for me either!

 

[ArmchairMillionaire]

There are two types of people in this world:
1.) Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

 

[Twilo123]

 

[Davidhelp]

What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato as they were crossing the street?

Ketchup!

 

[Davidhelp]

Frasier tv show:
Roz: "When I was a girl, I considered being a nun"
Priest asks: "Really, what changed your mind?"
Roz: "I didn't want to work weekends"......

 

[Twilo123]

 

[Time2]

What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato as they were crossing the street?

Ketchup!

That reminds me about when my daughter was young and we took walks, we would pass a squirrel that had become part of the asphalt, I would always say, he didn't check for cars before crossing the road!

 

[Qs Laptop]

 

[Davidhelp]

Hold on there, there is a New Testament?....
I should read this, they might have revised the 10 Commandments in my favor!

 

[Twilo123]

 

[AudiDudi]

Yep.

 

[Twilo123]

 

[Twilo123]

 

[braumeister]