Getting aging parent to spend money when they have more than enough?

[chris2008]

My mom was very frugal. We "gave" her a week as christmas gift to try out a place that was a mix between independent and assisted living in our town and promised to accept her decision after that week.
She loved it right away.
However, it took her 5 more months at her old home to take the decision to move.
The staff told us that this was very common after the test period and having experienced how good one could have it there.
Thereafter, she was happy with the move till she passed away 9 years after.
We were so happy that the place offered the test period.

 

[wrigley]

Fine.
I know someone in a facility with a one BR apartment that has three meals a day included in the dining room downstairs.
The apartment itself has a motel-like kitchenette with a microwave, mini fridge, and mini sink.

You'd have to shoot me before I'd go into a place like that before age 95...

I helped my in-laws move into a place like that. I wasn't at all impressed with the amenities. The facility was definitely proud of what they were charging though.

 

[hesperus]

You may not be able to change this, honestly. If she’s mentally competent, it’s her money and her comfort level, even if it drives the rest of us nuts. Trying to push too hard can backfire and make her dig in more. You can present options, tour places together, help with logistics, but at the end of the day she has to choose discomfort over fear of spending. Some people never do.

 

[engineernerd]

I might not have been clear. At this point we want her to be cheap. Because she wants to spend like she still has a lot of money, on things she does not really need (but sees or hears what others have and thinks she "deserves" the same) while ignoring the additional costs her actions incur and the impact to her fragile financial situation.

Re-read your post and I did misunderstand. That is a worse problem. Less infuriating in the moment, but more worrying. Wishing you the best.

 

[Pluperfect]

It sounds like you know what you are talking about...

Well I would certainly hope so.

 

[TickTock]

I STILL think beyond "I can afford it" and am still stuck on "Is it a good value?"

For instance, we have been using "economy plus" seating when flying but NOT Business or First Class - even though we could "afford it." Eco + seems the "sweet spot" of value for the dollar. Can't seem to get past that. YMMV

Dunno if this will help. . .

DF told me years ago that he prefers to buy new cars and drive them until another one is needed, even though buying 2-3 years used is a better sweet spot of value for the dollar. "Son, I know *everything* that's ever been done to that car, and that's worth something to me." I agree with that, and once DW and I were able we bought new. So the best objective value for the dollar may not be your best subjective value. Which is a judgement only you can make.