Half of American Parents Financially Support Adult Children...

[Redbugdave]

An interesting study by Savings.com. in 2024. The number of adult children dependent on their parents continues to tick higher, up from 47% in 2024 and 45% in 2023. In fact, the average parent is spending $1,474 monthly per child to make ends meet amid the cost of living crisis.

In part of the conclusion, they mention that despite the subtle shifts away from unconditional assistance, the survey essentially confirms what they've seen in recent years: the ongoing need to financially support struggling adult children is placing significant strain on many parents' financial security. This concerning pattern may face additional pressure if economic conditions worsen in the coming months.

Many of us on the ER forums have "made it" and retired. But this study shows how the financial climate has changed since our days of making it into the world.

Here's the article: Percentage of parents financially supporting adult children reaches a three-year high

Opinions?

 

[Luvtoride]

Interesting article and very timely since Morning Brew had a “special edition” this week called “Here’s your Inheritance… the Great Wealth Transfer is upon us” (see file attached).

It makes sense that we (baby boomers) are holding so much of the wealth and are choosing to help our kids now while they need the financial support and can appreciate it, rather than waiting for them to get it upon death.

We help our kids by paying for large expenses like summer camp tuition for our grandkids and taking the families on nice vacations with us. Like the article says “we can’t take it with us” but seeing and experiencing with them the benefits this sharing of our good fortune can bring to our families lives is very gratifying to us.

What are your ways to help your kids and their families?

 

[Aerides]

I'd imagine the results are a bit skewed by those supporting college expenses.

Over half the categories listed (57%) were for tuition, and the age of "adult" kid starts at 18. Majority of the support seems to be for the Genz'ers. Also, most (71%) require the kid to be working, in school or something else, vs. unconditional assistance, so that's good.

From threads here "many" ER folks seem to want to help their kids buy houses and invest, and set up trusts and down-payments, etc., so we're hardly different?

 

[donheff]

I didn't find the article enlightening because it includes tuition, student loans, and support during studies.. When we talk about helping adult kids to get by in this more expensive world, I am interested in how much parents are contributing to adult children who are working and/or raising a family.

 

[HawkOwl]

I am not sure that any conclusions can be drawn from this data. Three years is a very short time period. What were the numbers before then? A rise from 45% to 50% isn’t exactly earth shaking. Reporting data for 2025 seems dicy when we are only three months into the year.

There is a world of difference between giving an 18 year old some groceries, and paying for a 30 year old’s lavish vacation. This article lumps a lot of apples and oranges together to make a click baity fruit salad.

 

[athena53]

I agree that if it includes paying for college the result isn't that meaningful. My parents' message was "we're paying for your college then you're on your own". It pretty much worked- of the five of us, one was married before graduation, two married almost immediately after and my new job was 5 hours away from my home town. One brother had a job an hour away- not a big deal now but long for someone living in Ohio in the 1970s- and still lived with Mom and Dad till they moved to Buffalo for Dad's job and brother was forced to find his own place. He couldn't cook much so had steak every night but eventually married.

I'm grateful that DS and DDIL are doing fine on their own- much easier in their LCOL area. Twice (once in current house, once in previous) they've had to relace the HVAC and haven't asked me for money and I know they don't believe in accumulating credit card debt so I think they're managing money well. I've been gifting them $15-$20K/year, no questions asked. Middle granddaughter tells me they're trying to pay their mortgage off early. They bought in 2019 so probably a nice low rate- not what I'd do but I get it.

I have fun funding the occasional family trip, haircuts at a kid-friendly place when I come to visit and taking the family out to dinner but I don't want to take away their independence.

 

[PaunchyPirate]

My oldest brother, age 67, and his wife have their 42 year old son (and his 16 year old daughter) living with them because the son can't hold down a job any more stressful than a convenience store assistant manager. Up until about 3 months ago, they also had their 42 year old daughter living with them. She finally saved up enough money to get her own place. My brother told me that he and his wife calculated that since their first daughter (of 5 children) was born, they have lived alone for only 1 month. In addition to giving them a place to stay, my brother is constantly facing the kids' various expenses due to life events -- cars break down, a DWI, loss of job, etc. During a recent loss of the car, my brother and his wife were getting up and taking the son to work his overnight shift at the store. It's rather sad, I think. But my brother's response to any conversation about it is "I will always be there for my children." I think I'm a little more in the "tough love" category.

 

[Luvtoride]

PP,that’s just sad, but I don’t disagree with your brothers sentiment that “he will always be there for my children”.

 

[Dtail]

In terms of actual dollars to 5 grown children, we don't give all that much. However, we have had various children living with us to save money, so indirectly yes.
I busted my butt on Wall Street for 30+ years and in general at least in Florida I just don't see the work ethic in an overall sense with of course exceptions to that.

 

[VanWinkle]

Raise them the best you can, and send them on their way. They will land on their feet in most cases. Those that don't will not need you to support them, they need to learn how to do it themselves. I always help them, but they don't ask for it first. All 4 of mine have good work ethics and all are making more than I did in my working years.

 

[USGrant1962]

The headline number doesn't seem right. As noted above, including college kids (10s of thousands of dollars per year) wildly distorts the whole analysis. Toss in the boomerang kid phenomenon and we are not really talking about "adult" children, just children.

I would guess that, setting aside routine gifts, maybe 20% provide meaningful assistance to launched adult children.

 

[easysurfer]

IMO, codependency is a tough habit to kick for both parent and adult children.

 

[misanman]

Doesn't seem to apply to us as I'm pretty sure all three of our kids earn (and spend) more than we ever did. We did fund 529's for all ten grandchildren so that is not insignificant.

 

[Kings over Queens]

I was thinking about this yesterday as I searched the web for health insurance for our 26 y/o son who just aged off our benefits through my work. In his defense, he was at work, and is about to embark on a new career, and I'm home, sitting at the computer, and like doing that kind of stuff.

But, when I was 26, my father wouldn't have done that for me. He wouldn't have known how to do that for me.

We are 57, with sons 27 and 26 and a daughter 24. Little sister is in Denver, living with boyfriend, essentially on her own. We bought her a car, that is the extent of our support, for now. Our sons still live at home and we don't back charge rent or board. The 27 y/o is a merchant mariner, makes 6 figures, and has a couple hundred thousand in brokerage or savings. He's also at sea 8 months a year and it makes no sense for him to own or even rent his own place. The 26 y/o also has money in the bank, just under 6 figures, and always worked, but is embarking on a new career. He wants nothing more than to be on his own but is struggling to find an adult job. It's not for a lack of trying, or hard work. He's at his job by 6am, and the new job (union carpenter) will be at 7.

To a large degree we are supporting our adult kids financially. We bought 2 of them cars and 2 of them at home. It's not affecting us financially. We aren't sacrificing things we'd do because we "support" them. Sure, we'd have more money in the bank if we charged room and board. Our food bills are insane.

What worries me more, for lack of a better term, is our involvement in their lives. We don't intrude, but they rely on us, perhaps because we live together or are only a phone call away. Its a good thing I suppose, our kids enjoy us and we enjoy them. Much better than being distant or estranged.

 

[YellowSubmarine]

My oldest brother, age 67, and his wife have their 42 year old son (and his 16 year old daughter) living with them because the son can't hold down a job any more stressful than a convenience store assistant manager. Up until about 3 months ago, they also had their 42 year old daughter living with them. She finally saved up enough money to get her own place. My brother told me that he and his wife calculated that since their first daughter (of 5 children) was born, they have lived alone for only 1 month. In addition to giving them a place to stay, my brother is constantly facing the kids' various expenses due to life events -- cars break down, a DWI, loss of job, etc. During a recent loss of the car, my brother and his wife were getting up and taking the son to work his overnight shift at the store. It's rather sad, I think. But my brother's response to any conversation about it is "I will always be there for my children." I think I'm a little more in the "tough love" category.

Sad, not good parenting imo. It's easier to be a friend than a parent to children. But, there's a huge cost in many cases. As the expression goes 'once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in'. Yes, quite irreversible.

 

[tflannery]

My in laws are 99 and 97. They never anticipated living this long. They have gifted us over the years at times and it has helped. We have 3 kids, we plan on doing the same for our kids. The gifts from our in-laws we never really needed and I always felt I would save it for our kids anyway.

I know every situation is different, but if you raised your kids right then gifting your kids can really lower the stress level. We live in Chicago. We work.

 

[target2019]

Key Findings:

• Half of parents with adult children provide regular financial assistance to their grown offspring. The average support per adult child is $1,474 monthly, about 6% higher than last year.
• 83% of supporting parents contribute to their adult kids’ monthly groceries; 65% help with cell phones, and nearly half (46%) pay for vacations.
• More than three-quarters (77%) of supportive parents attach conditions to their financial assistance. 23% give money without any conditions.
• Nearly 50 percent of parents have sacrificed their financial security to help their grown kids financially, and most supporting parents feel obligated to help their kids with money.
• Working parents who support grown kids contribute over 2X more money each month to their adult children than they do to retirement funds.

These 1,000 adults surveyed are not well-represented in this forum.

Perhaps savings.com will ask the same questions of this population in the future.

 

[imjustawarrior]

I looked through the article. I was surprised by how much help parents were providing their children that are in their 30's and 40's.

It looks like it goes way beyond paying for college, paying for a joint vacation, or warm hand giving.

Times have changed. My DF started warm hand giving this year. It is the first time I have received money from him in an extremely long time. My parents did not contribute to my schooling or support as an adult. That was 100% on me.

We are paying for our kids' college tuition, and they get a two year old car when they turn 18. We are hoping this gets them off to a good start. I don't know how much financial support we will provide after they graduate college. My plan is none. I would have no problem paying for big family vacations or buying gifts for them. They need to be able to support themselves. LBYM.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

I'd imagine the results are a bit skewed by those supporting college expenses.

Over half the categories listed (57%) were for tuition, and the age of "adult" kid starts at 18. Majority of the support seems to be for the Genz'ers. Also, most (71%) require the kid to be working, in school or something else, vs. unconditional assistance, so that's good.

From threads here "many" ER folks seem to want to help their kids buy houses and invest, and set up trusts and down-payments, etc., so we're hardly different?

Yes. The article strikes me as interesting but also being a bit of breathless, click-bait as well.

DD2 is 21. I spent $30K on her tuition/college this year ... I'm giving her $2500 per month of support! Plus car insurance! And a cell phone. OMG. $32K per year. The economy is ending and the American dream is dead!

DD1 is 25 and in a residency. We keep her on our cell phone plan because it saves her $20/mo and I provide the plane tickets when she flies back for family events. Is this "support for an adult child" ... I guess. Though I just consider it something nice to do for my daughter while she's earning 50% of what she would if she wasn't advancing her skills.

Even the "I'm paying for their groceries" stuff makes me roll my eyes a bit. Show me junior's credit card bill. My guess is there is a lot of nice-to-have stuff on there. Its easier to tell Mom you can't afford groceries than to say she's really supporting the $200/mo you spend on weed.

I'd be curious about their sample set as well. My guess is it skews to higher income levels. Given income dispersion, I suspect its mathematically impossible that the typical adult child is getting $17,600 of annual support from Mom and Dad. As ever, "averages" are misleading when median would be more useful.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

 

[ponyboy]

Most adult children live with their parents. They never want to leave since it's an easy ride.

 

[Gumby]

This has been an issue at least since Danko and Stanley wrote "The Millionaire Next Door" in 1996. As I recall, they criticized the concept of "Economic Outpatient Care" to adult children, arguing that it lowered asset accumulation by the giving parents and by the receiving children (by, among other things, allowing them to spend beyond their true means, such as buying fancier houses that they then could not keep up).

 

[athena53]

Most adult children live with their parents. They never want to leave since it's an easy ride.

Nah. My parents were mean. They wouldn't let me have sleepovers with my boyfriends.

My sister and BIL did a lot to support their adult daughters. Daughter #1 was a psych major and realized she couldn't make a living- they paid to send her through nursing school after already funding the psych degree. At least once they paid off her credit card debts and also paid a hefty vet bill for her dog. I guess I'm a mean parent too because I would have said, "Too bad you got a pet you can't afford- I guess doggie's gonna die". She's now married to a good guy and both are hard workers.

Daughter #2 moved in with her useless boyfriend and his mother on her 17th birthday but they kept her on their health insurance. (They eventually married and the marriage lasted a year or so.) She remarried to a graduate of VMI who'd give you the shirt off his back and she now teaches Sunday School.

Daughter #3 dabbled in drugs and was a real problem for years. Had a baby at age 19 by a Baby Daddy my sister described as "a sweet little guy with the brains of a paramecium". They helped her finish her GED, paid for training as a radiology tech. Now she's married to an architect, they have 2 kids together (he adopted her daughter from the previous relationship) and she got advanced training and works in interventional radiology.

I don't know when you stop supporting your kids. I don't know if I would have gone that far but in retrospect they did the right thing.

 

[HFWR]

I help when needed, but as far as affecting my future, anything I’ve done has been within my yearly budget.

I certainly don’t want to encourage living beyond means, but there’s no reason for my son to wait until I'm dead to reap the “bounty”…

 

[Gumby]

Nah. My parents were mean. They wouldn't let me have sleepovers with my boyfriends.

Me neither. I had already left home mentally at least five years before I did physically (when I was 18, three weeks after I graduated from high school). Never got a dime from the parents after that day. In fact, I spent the next seven years sending money back home to support my mother and little sister. Everything worked out in the end, though.

The young wife and I didn't have kids, but we probably would have helped them out if we did.

 

[Gallaher]

For some months now I’ve been contemplating buying a new $400 guitar case. The old one is falling apart.
I own several guitars and cases….who needs more?

I know when I talk to my wife about the cost, she’ll say “if you don’t spend it your kids will”.

So I guess I’ll buy a new case, my kids have tremendous spending habits we’ve not supported. We’ve offered some help but discouraged dependancy.