Have you lost friends because of money?

[TheWizard]

My FIL once made me an offer to finance our mortgage at 0%.
my answer … NO!! Thank you.
Don't mix finances and family. I sleep well at night.

Sounds like the right decision...

 

[jollystomper]

On the other side of this question, DW and I have friends from college who now have a lot more money that we do, who have expressed they are glad we have remained friends with them, and treat them no differently. I am just as annoying to them now as I was back then .

 

[albireo13]

Sounds like the right decision...

Plus he was a control freak and wanted to get his hooks in us !
Nope.

 

[frayne]

One lesson that can be gleaned from this thread is, it's wise to fly below the radar when it comes to letting family and friends know your financial health and wealth.

 

[Happy Homebody]

One lesson that can be gleaned from this thread is, it's wise to fly below the radar when it comes to letting family and friends know your financial health and wealth.

I tend to be vague and evasive when I talk with relatives about money.

I retired a little earlier than I had planned to. I told my mom that we would have a little less than what I had planned on for retirement but we would probably be okay.

That is technically true. But it also implies I am doing worse than I am.

I am not a fat cat like many here are, but I am doing much better than most people in my family.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

One lesson that can be gleaned from this thread is, it's wise to fly below the radar when it comes to letting family and friends know your financial health and wealth.

Frayne, you could not be more correct. Great advice for everyone.

 

[albireo13]

Your finances are really noone elses business anyway.

 

[OddGuy]

Bit of a backstory here, so bear with me...

About two decades ago, I was offered a tremendous job opportunity that doubled my income. Additionally, we'd be moving to a lower COL area of the country, so with my new salary and DW's salary, we were able to live at a considerable higher standard of living, while socking away cash into 401ks with generous company matches. When house shopping, we discovered it wasn't much of a stretch to buy lakefront, and I leaned that way for the investment potential. As we now had a dock, I bought a boat, and I also fulfilled a dream of buying a classic car, made easier by not needing my own daily transportation, as I had a company car. So my colleagues, many of whom had also migrated to this new company but at lower paying positions, saw me transition from "OddGuy who lives as we do and works at our level at company X in Y state" to "OddGuy who moved to Z state, as we did, and works at V company, as we do, but now that's he's upper management, he's got a lake house, a boat, and a sports car."

Within time, the company culture changed, as happens, and a reorg was on the horizon. I had a year's fair warning, as I saw the people who had recruited me lose their senior jobs, and I knew big change was afoot. I planned my next phase to be a consultancy, but I figured I'd wait until the company let me go, so I could finance my early days of self-employment with a generous severance package. Sure enough, one day the call from HR came, and I got my expected package, and immediately put up notices on LinkedIn and social media of my new status as an independent.

I also got a slew of calls, emails, and texts. "Are you selling your lake house?" "Are you moving back 'home'?" "Are you selling your classic car?" "What did your DW say?" The Schadenfreude train was in full force! These inquiries continued for quite a while, then died down. Then I'd have occasion to talk to someone from work, and they'd say, "Oh, I heard you moved! I heard you went back 'home'! Sold your house! Sold your classic car!" Yes, even though I told anyone who asked that (a) I was actually relieved to be out of corporate management, (b) I was much happier working for myself in a hands on role, and (c) I was not selling anything or moving anywhere, apparently that was not juicy enough gossip, so I must be lying and in denial.

The whole experience taught me quite a bit about envy, gossip, and the need some people have to see others fail and be humbled.

And now, a dozen years past that, I'm in a position to retire next year if I choose, and also to pay off the lake house.

 

[aja8888]

Bit of a backstory here, so bear with me...

About two decades ago, I was offered a tremendous job opportunity that doubled my income. Additionally, we'd be moving to a lower COL area of the country, so with my new salary and DW's salary, we were able to live at a considerable higher standard of living, while socking away cash into 401ks with generous company matches. When house shopping, we discovered it wasn't much of a stretch to buy lakefront, and I leaned that way for the investment potential. As we now had a dock, I bought a boat, and I also fulfilled a dream of buying a classic car, made easier by not needing my own daily transportation, as I had a company car. So my colleagues, many of whom had also migrated to this new company but at lower paying positions, saw me transition from "OddGuy who lives as we do and works at our level at company X in Y state" to "OddGuy who moved to Z state, as we did, and works at V company, as we do, but now that's he's upper management, he's got a lake house, a boat, and a sports car."

Within time, the company culture changed, as happens, and a reorg was on the horizon. I had a year's fair warning, as I saw the people who had recruited me lose their senior jobs, and I knew big change was afoot. I planned my next phase to be a consultancy, but I figured I'd wait until the company let me go, so I could finance my early days of self-employment with a generous severance package. Sure enough, one day the call from HR came, and I got my expected package, and immediately put up notices on LinkedIn and social media of my new status as an independent.

I also got a slew of calls, emails, and texts. "Are you selling your lake house?" "Are you moving back 'home'?" "Are you selling your classic car?" "What did your DW say?" The Schadenfreude train was in full force! These inquiries continued for quite a while, then died down. Then I'd have occasion to talk to someone from work, and they'd say, "Oh, I heard you moved! I heard you went back 'home'! Sold your house! Sold your classic car!" Yes, even though I told anyone who asked that (a) I was actually relieved to be out of corporate management, (b) I was much happier working for myself in a hands on role, and (c) I was not selling anything or moving anywhere, apparently that was not juicy enough gossip, so I must be lying and in denial.

The whole experience taught me quite a bit about envy, gossip, and the need some people have to see others fail and be humbled.

And now, a dozen years past that, I'm in a position to retire next year if I choose, and also to pay off the lake house.

Nice story, good for you!

 

[audreyh1]

I also got a slew of calls, emails, and texts. "Are you selling your lake house?" "Are you moving back 'home'?" "Are you selling your classic car?" "What did your DW say?" The Schadenfreude train was in full force! These inquiries continued for quite a while, then died down. Then I'd have occasion to talk to someone from work, and they'd say, "Oh, I heard you moved! I heard you went back 'home'! Sold your house! Sold your classic car!" Yes, even though I told anyone who asked that (a) I was actually relieved to be out of corporate management, (b) I was much happier working for myself in a hands on role, and (c) I was not selling anything or moving anywhere, apparently that was not juicy enough gossip, so I must be lying and in denial.

The whole experience taught me quite a bit about envy, gossip, and the need some people have to see others fail and be humbled.

And now, a dozen years past that, I'm in a position to retire next year if I choose, and also to pay off the lake house.

I feel fortunate not to have gone through that.

 

[Alex The Great]

Well, even the fact that I'm capable to live without a job cause some tension around me. I doubt anyone know how much money I have, except my bank, IRS and ACA.

 

[OddGuy]

I feel fortunate not to have gone through that.

It was very disconcerting to learn that the subject of my financial wellbeing in the wake of a job loss was apparently juicy gossip for a good number of people. And like most gossip, it was wrong!

 

[frayne]

Probably paraphrasing a bit here but someone once said something along the lines; great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people. Pretty good rule of thumb.

 

[Koolau]

Bit of a backstory here, so bear with me...

About two decades ago, I was offered a tremendous job opportunity that doubled my income. Additionally, we'd be moving to a lower COL area of the country, so with my new salary and DW's salary, we were able to live at a considerable higher standard of living, while socking away cash into 401ks with generous company matches. When house shopping, we discovered it wasn't much of a stretch to buy lakefront, and I leaned that way for the investment potential. As we now had a dock, I bought a boat, and I also fulfilled a dream of buying a classic car, made easier by not needing my own daily transportation, as I had a company car. So my colleagues, many of whom had also migrated to this new company but at lower paying positions, saw me transition from "OddGuy who lives as we do and works at our level at company X in Y state" to "OddGuy who moved to Z state, as we did, and works at V company, as we do, but now that's he's upper management, he's got a lake house, a boat, and a sports car."

Within time, the company culture changed, as happens, and a reorg was on the horizon. I had a year's fair warning, as I saw the people who had recruited me lose their senior jobs, and I knew big change was afoot. I planned my next phase to be a consultancy, but I figured I'd wait until the company let me go, so I could finance my early days of self-employment with a generous severance package. Sure enough, one day the call from HR came, and I got my expected package, and immediately put up notices on LinkedIn and social media of my new status as an independent.

I also got a slew of calls, emails, and texts. "Are you selling your lake house?" "Are you moving back 'home'?" "Are you selling your classic car?" "What did your DW say?" The Schadenfreude train was in full force! These inquiries continued for quite a while, then died down. Then I'd have occasion to talk to someone from work, and they'd say, "Oh, I heard you moved! I heard you went back 'home'! Sold your house! Sold your classic car!" Yes, even though I told anyone who asked that (a) I was actually relieved to be out of corporate management, (b) I was much happier working for myself in a hands on role, and (c) I was not selling anything or moving anywhere, apparently that was not juicy enough gossip, so I must be lying and in denial.

The whole experience taught me quite a bit about envy, gossip, and the need some people have to see others fail and be humbled.

And now, a dozen years past that, I'm in a position to retire next year if I choose, and also to pay off the lake house.

People's true colors eventually show through. Sorry you had to go through the rumor mill, but glad you came out well on the other side.

Great story.

 

[skyking1]

My brother and I share everything, the successes failures good and bad. Besides this place it is good to have an ear, a sounding board if you will. Beyond that nobody knows the details beyond "we are doing OK".
He had a successful mobile X-ray business thanks in no small part to my technical support. I dropped everything and ran countless times when I had to, keeping it a 24/7 operation.

 

[REWahoo]

Your finances are really noone elses business anyway.

I was about to say that I really missed noone's posts and looked up when he was last around. His last post was in July of 2017, only a couple of month before you registered on the forum. Coincidence?

BTW, I thought noone had a great sig line...

 

[Koolau]

The name "Noone" loomed large in a good Clint Eastwood movie called "Blood W*rk."

Returning you now...