Having Money and Mental Health

[Stormy Kromer]

Of course there are no guarantees, and of course we're talking about psychology here. It's "mental health", not "rigorous planning". I'm also an engineer; in fact I teach engineering to college students. We sling equations for a living. It's all about stating one's assumptions, drawing a diagram, finding the correct mathematical model, solving the problem, plotting the solution, then confirming that it makes sense. Nowhere in that process do we mention feelings, because engineering is about doing applied-physics. Feelings don't build airplanes. Feelings don't keep hydroelectric dams functioning. Feelings don't prevent bridges from collapsing. But feelings are exactly what we talk about, when we talk about "mental health". It isn't about my wealth, but how I feel about it. It isn't about meeting my expenses, but how I feel about potential scenarios.

Fear isn't an ingredient in the decision-making process. Math is. But math isn't an ingredient in our mental-state; fear is. Fear is by its very nature irrational. Nowise does something have to happen, for me to fear it! Inversely, I might not fear something highly likely and devastatingly harmful... maybe because I'm a big hero, or just in denial.

The real key to our mental health isn't about good planning, self-control, maximizing our potential, working hard, being a decent person and so on. These all doubtless assist our progress and our practical success. But mental health isn't about being successful. It's about feeling successful. The junky in the gutter might be feeling successful, having no reason to do so. The billionaire on his private island might be feeling unsuccessful, having no reason to do so.

The happiest people I know work hard, accept what happens and don't overthink everything.

 

[old medic]

Thanks for asking but I haven't really said anything since there is no part where I can see it can be fixed.

Wishing you the best, Sometimes an outside perspective helps.

 

[old medic]

Great read and replies.... We are nowhere near the NW of many on here, But at our highest NW, more than we ever dreamed. I started a thread before about Rich VS Wealthy, meaning Rich in life or Wealthy in money. We have struggled hard for many years to get to where we are at and thankful everyday for the for the struggles we experienced and give us the perspective we have today.

 

[Sorcerer]

If you fear finances that much then you aren't ready to retire/fire. Keep working.

Also, if you prioritize finances over health, you've never been truly sick. Ive only encountered a handful of people at the EOL stage. None of them gave a sh*t about their money. If someone could have given them a magic pill to be healthy again but it would cost them every penny they had, they would all gladly be broke.

A healthy person wants a million things, a sick person wants only one.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

If you fear finances that much then you aren't ready to retire/fire. Keep working.

Also, if you prioritize finances over health, you've never been truly sick. Ive only encountered a handful of people at the EOL stage. None of them gave a sh*t about their money. If someone could have given them a magic pill to be healthy again but it would cost them every penny they had, they would all gladly be broke.

A healthy person wants a million things, a sick person wants only one.

That's a good post.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I have had so many good friends die and I don’t take good health for granted. I value my health over money. Having both of course is the best.

In my senior years I worry about health because I can deal with whatever happens financially by making changes. I don’t have that control over my health.

 

[Koolau]

I have had so many good friends die and I don’t take good health for granted. I value my health over money. Having both of course is the best.

In my senior years I worry about health because I can deal with whatever happens financially by making changes. I don’t have that control over my health.

Well said.

Even those of us who exercise and eat right and otherwise take care of our health know people who do the same and then end up in dire health situations. There's a certain level of luck involved.

I've intentionally set aside money for my health and hope I don't need it. But I'll gladly trade money for health any day.

 

[marko]

I take care of my health so that I'm here to enjoy my money.

 

[old medic]

if you prioritize finances over health, you've never been truly sick.

My career exposed me to way too many EOL situations. Personally we got 2 views ourselves within 18 months. Plan for tomorrow but live for today... You can always cut back on the living part but when lifes over.........

 

[Diogenes]

If you fear finances that much then you aren't ready to retire/fire. Keep working.

Also, if you prioritize finances over health, you've never been truly sick. Ive only encountered a handful of people at the EOL stage. None of them gave a sh*t about their money. If someone could have given them a magic pill to be healthy again but it would cost them every penny they had, they would all gladly be broke.

A healthy person wants a million things, a sick person wants only one.

My only close experience with "EOL" situations was my parents passing.

Father died many decades ago, at a comparatively young age, fairly quickly. Was apparently healthy one day. Then in the hospital, with a sudden debilitation. Then dead soon thereafter. While in the hospital, his main concern was that his coworkers still thought highly of him, despite his diminished state. Not a joke. That's what he mumbled about. Otherwise he was actually quite eager to die.

Mother lived longer, and suffered more. For a couple of years she was an ardent and relentless fighter. In the final month, things changed. She was ready to go. Her main concern was getting her various affairs in order. Not disappointing the people around her, remaining dignified despite being bedridden, and yes, making sure that financially things are well-organized.

Neither parent expressed any regret about bucket lists, vacations not taken, or for that matter, human relationships that were allowed to fray.

As for never being truly sick personally, guilty as charged. I can't begin to fathom how a truly sick person would think. I hope to never find out.

Lastly, the idea of being ready for retirement, or not... as consequence of one's mental standing regarding money. I've not looked at the stock market lately, but my eerie suspicion is that I lost more money than I'll ever be able to earn as a W2 employee, in what remains of my career. It really doesn't matter now, if I retire now, or in 10 years, or never. It's up to the portfolio to recover. It's not up to me to make more contributions. Sure, I could torture myself through fanatical savings and adding more to the portfolio. But it won't help much. Whether I retire or not, won't matter much.

 

[socca]

I take care of my health so that I'm here to enjoy my money.

I take care of my money so that I'm here to enjoy my health.

 

[Cerys]

I made the mistake of following the local message board on Facebook. Man, the posts there of people just trying to get to the next day.
Most of us on here haven’t forgotten or maybe never experienced what it was like to not at least have a cushion in life.

I can remember how hard it was to get that first $5000 and then we bought a house.... that needed a lot of work.

That second $5000 came a lot quicker -- because we bought a house, and our rent wasn't going up every time we got a raise.

I remember my attitude to work really changed. Having that cushion meant to me that if push came to shove I could really walk away from that job to find another. Having a cushion really made me feel like I had options.

 

[shafer9]

I stumbled upon this the other day. Found it very thought provoking.

It's an excerpt from a guy who started with nothing, worked hard to build a business and eventually sold it for big money.

His overall point was that money changes how you view life's minor challenges. In short: "money doesnt buy happiness but it buys the absence of 90% of the stuff that makes people miserable".

Comments?

What changed when the money hit?

"nothing changed about the world. everything changed about what i noticed. when youre broke you notice everything. the coffee is wrong. the flight is delayed. the taxi took the long route. youre scanning for threats because your life has no margin for error"

"when you have money you stop noticing because nothing small can hurt you anymore. the coffee is wrong? theres another coffee. the flight is delayed? theres another flight. you stop fighting because you stop needing to win every fight to survive"

"being calm isnt a personality trait. its a financial position"

the people who are stressed all the time arent anxious. theyre broke

and the people who seem zen and unbothered arent enlightened. theyre solvent

Get money...the calm comes after"

He is absolutely right.

 

[WWDog]

All I have to say is, It ain't over yet!
Look at the national debt. Think about how much the dollar can devalue in just a very short time. The world is in great turmoil as we speak. I just hope that the things that are happening on the world stage are to our advantage and a reset will keep us aligned with a palatable future.

 

[David1961]

Wasn't there a line in a Hitchcock movie where someone said "Money cannot buy happiness but it can buy off unhappiness" or something like that?