One of her joys was going to lunch with her friends. Now she doesn't go because most restaurants are noisy and she can't hear in a group of people. She gets so frustrated that she doesn't want to go unless it is one on one.
I first started using hearing aids when I was about 30 years old. I've had about 35 years of experience with them, starting with the kind that only made things louder and moving through the newer technology.
My experience is that the hearing aid companies over-promise on being able to hear speech in noisy situations, for reasons similar to why active noise cancelling headphones don't work with a dog barking. It seems like they WOULD work for barking, but the technology simply doesn't allow it.
I'm sure one day we'll get there with hearing aids, but in the meantime, we're told our hearing aids will quiet every sound in the place except the one we want to hear, and when it doesn't work, we feel like we're the ones who failed.
Socializing in restaurants is tricky. And I'll point out that women's voices tend to fall in the higher frequencies, which is where a lot of age-related hearing loss lies. So if it's groups of women she's lunching with, it makes it even harder.
I'm strategic about where I sit when I'm in a group. Especially with people I know well, I know who can sit a little farther away and I can still hear them okay because of how their voice carries. If it's people I don't know well, then I just do whatever and accept the fact that I'm not going to hear every word.
I suppose the good news is that if if your wife is lunching with a bunch of women her age, then a good chunk of them probably have trouble hearing and might be sympathetic.
All that said, I'll point out that people can usually get hearings aids to work well enough for watching TV, and usually being face-to-face isn't necessary, so that might be unique to your wife, and might bear checking into with an ear doctor.
However, what exactly is
not "face-to-face" to you? If you're in another room, that can be challenging even with hearing aids. If you're across the room and have your back to her, then your voice is projecting away from her. And if she's been struggling for some time, she may read lips more than either of you realizes, and has unconsciously become reliant on it.
One thing wearing masks during Covid taught us was that a lot of people read lips, or at least use the lower half of people's faces to help them understand what someone is saying.
One place I struggle is when my boyfriend wants to say something to me out of the blue. He's learning to start with "hey" or something like that to alert me that a stream of words is about to come at me, so I can be prepared to start listening. It makes a world of difference. Having to use your brain to figure out what those first words were that you missed, while simultaneously listening to the current words, is a massive amount of work. All of which is performed invisibly, which is why I have to hammer on him to lend a hand in helping me avoid having to do that.
Is there a reason your wife is going to True Hearing? I know they're the hearing aid provider for some Advantage plans, and they're who my supplement uses for the hearing aid benefit in their "wellness extras." The one I went to was in an H-E-B grocery store, which didn't instill the greatest amount of confidence. But I just got a hearing test, no hearing aid fitting.
But my boyfriend's mother had a mobile person with True Hearing come to her independent living facility to fit hearing aids, and she's very very happy with them.
As for Costco, I've had varying degrees of success with them. I've had two
fantastic audiologists there (in different states), and some so-so ones.
So it might be worth it for your wife to try a different audiologist. If she's not happy with what she has now, there's no reason to stick with it.
But I think the most important advice is for people getting hearing aids, especially for tricky situations, to manage their expectations. And once you're realistic about what can be done, then keep at it until they work how you want them to.