Help ... too many TPS reports!!!

[CoolRich59]

I have no idea either! Some folks are so entrenched in their world they don't realize that not everyone is familiar with their lingo. The other day, there was a thread where some vidogame programmer used a seven-digit acronym like MRSPORD or something WTF?

Wow, you guys are really out of it.

I've never seen the movie, but still recognized the reference to 'TPS reports'!

 

[CoolRich59]

But that's the whole point!

Most of the time, those of us writing TPS reports don't even know what they are or what they stand for.

Absolutely. I almost got fired (seriously) for questioning the value of our 'TPS Reports'.

In that particular job, we had to prepare three reports a week.

One week during our Monday morning staff meeting (who on Earth schedules a weekly staff meeting for 8am Monday morning?), my manager says he has a big meeting with some high level execs and needs us to prepare a special report detailing the projects we're working on.

I asked: "We already prepare three reports every week that detail this info in different ways. Why is it necessary to create a special report? And, if it is necessary to create a special report, what is the purpose of the three reports we're already preparing every week?"

The reaction was immediate and almost violent. My manager turned red, stood up, leaned across the conference room table and said through gritted teeth: "You have that report on my desk by the end of the day or you are out of a job. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!!??"

All righty.

 

[Aerides]

i believe you have my stapler

 

[PatrickA5]

The reaction was immediate and almost violent. My manager turned red, stood up, leaned across the conference room table and said through gritted teeth: "You have that report on my desk by the end of the day or you are out of a job. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!!??"

All righty.

Reminds me of one of my bosses. He told me "I want to see the budget on my desk at 7:00am - No excuses!" So, I stayed the night and finished at 4:00am and left it on his desk. I show up to work at 8:00am noticing the budget book was still on his desk with him not to be found. Seems he had a week of vacation scheduled. I looked at that book every day for a week, cursing him every time I saw it. He ended up being a CEO of a Fortune 100 company, so I guess he was just practicing on me.

 

[CoolRich59]

Reminds me of one of my bosses. He told me "I want to see the budget on my desk at 7:00am - No excuses!" So, I stayed the night and finished at 4:00am and left it on his desk. I show up to work at 8:00am noticing the budget book was still on his desk with him not to be found. Seems he had a week of vacation scheduled. I looked at that book every day for a week, cursing him every time I saw it. He ended up being a CEO of a Fortune 100 company, so I guess he was just practicing on me.

What a classless jerk. Definitely CEO material.

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

More and more of my work time at my job with MegaCorp is being consumed by tasks like managing "TPS reports". It's mind numbing.

It makes it hard to come to work each day, dealing with the drudgery.

It's not that hard to do the work. It's just useless.
I just tell myself they are paying me good money to do this.

Still .. some days I just want to give my notice and retire.

I hope I can keep my sanity another 3 years or so before I retire.

Anyone else at this stage??

Wait!!!!! Did I write this? Wow, this is me!!!!

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

Previous manager had us compile over 5 different "Trackers". People were always late with their trackers, so he had a conference call to bitch about it.

I was asked why one of my trackers was late. I told him...no need to worry anymore as I was developing a New Tracker to track my trackers. You could hear people giggling in the background. He was not pleased!

 

[CoolRich59]

Previous manager had us compile over 5 different "Trackers". People were always late with their trackers, so he had a conference call to bitch about it.

I was asked why one of my trackers was late. I told him...no need to worry anymore as I was developing a New Tracker to track my trackers. You could hear people giggling in the background. He was not pleased!

Oh man, just today I was sitting on my client's weekly TPS report conference call. Somehow one matter was entered three times and so (obviously) there were three entries for the same matter.

All kinds of hilarity ensued as 10 people weighed in on whether the entries were actually the same matter, which entry to delete, etc.

I started to suggest that we needed to create an entry to detect and eliminate redundant entries. Then I realized I was supposed to be the adult in the room and so (reluctantly) bit my tongue.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

Reminds me when a project number changed but I screwed up and used the old one on a time sheet. I caught it myself and submitted a corrected TS. My supervisor said something about it so I told him I already fixed it. Then his boss dropped by. Then the PM. I felt like I was on candid camera and someone would eventually ask for the red stapler and we'd all have a laugh. Sigh, no.

You all have reminded me why I joined this forum and retired!

 

[jazz4cash]

At one job I had to file 7 separate monthly reports. (Copy a form, fill it out in pen, mail it off to HQ.) All with similar info. after about six months I stopped sending them in and two months later got a call asking for one of the reports. The other six used to be thrown in the trash.

This happened to me too, but my boss had us complete a redundant report for a full year waiting for home office to ask for it before telling us we no longer had to submit.

 

[JoeWras]

i believe you have my stapler

I quoted the movie so much, one of my co-workers gave me such a stapler as a gift. I cherish it!

For those of us still w*rking, this thread makes me smile knowing we all share this universal banality.

And don't laugh. I now work with a TPS report that tracks TPS reports. For real.

 

[PatrickA5]

I quoted the movie so much, one of my co-workers gave me such a stapler as a gift. I cherish it!

For those of us still w*rking, this thread makes me smile knowing we all share this universal banality.

And don't laugh. I now work with a TPS report that tracks TPS reports. For real.

I bought a red stapler off Amazon and have it on my desk at home along with several of my classic Dilberts. Those that worked in megacorp recognize it immediately and comment.

 

[jazz4cash]

I quoted the movie so much, one of my co-workers gave me such a stapler as a gift. I cherish it!

For those of us still w*rking, this thread makes me smile knowing we all share this universal banality.

And don't laugh. I now work with a TPS report that tracks TPS reports. For real.

Those of us no longer working are smiling too!

 

[CoolRich59]

I bought a red stapler off Amazon and have it on my desk at home along with several of my classic Dilberts. Those that worked in megacorp recognize it immediately and comment.

It may have been here, but I read that after the movie came out Swingline got so many inquiries for red staplers that they started offering staplers in that color again.

 

[FI_RElater]

I bought a red stapler off Amazon and have it on my desk at home along with several of my classic Dilberts. Those that worked in megacorp recognize it immediately and comment.

Do you still plan your "pre-meetings " as well (those that know Dilbert know what I'm talking about).


As for the OP: I stopped doing "weekly reports " for most of my later years-- I told the boss that I'd keep them appraised of the situation, as I was w@rking on the higher/ highest priority project and usually gave them progress when a significant part was completed ( I typically had two or three monitors containing different parts up on my office, reviewing data from a few others from the protocol I developed, and could "see" info that even the director needed "statistical analysis " to find that same pattern....been doing that $hit for decades so it was normal for me)

AFA annual "training needs " assessment that they wanted, in my last two years I submitted some rather original plans as earlier some HR-type had e-mailed some rather unusual notices (basket weaving for kids, etc) so I submitted more " advanced " training: beginning basket weaving, intermediate basket weaving, underwater basket weaving. (For the last year I entered even more esoteric items ). I had submitted the prior emails from HR as evidence of "need"-- boss was amused

 

[kgtest]

More and more of my work time at my job with MegaCorp is being consumed by tasks like managing "TPS reports". It's mind numbing.

It makes it hard to come to work each day, dealing with the drudgery.

It's not that hard to do the work. It's just useless.
I just tell myself they are paying me good money to do this.

Still .. some days I just want to give my notice and retire.

I hope I can keep my sanity another 3 years or so before I retire.

Anyone else at this stage??

Today my entire day was consumed writing and/or attending status meetings. I kid you not two people requested a status update as I was working on the status reports for them, then I got interrupted to go to a status meeting, where I was asked to provide a status report which delayed me doing my other status reports. This is why I don't suggest putting your money in a bank, we have too many status reports.

 

[jollystomper]

One of our "TPS reports" (yeah, at this Megacorp there are more than one) are reporting on activities tied to client projects. Every time we get new upper management and/or get hit with a reorganization they want use to change what we report. But rather than have someone change and enhance the reporting form, they just want us to use report fields in ways they are not meant to be used, because the perception is that it is easier to train a hundred people to perform unnatural acts than a half-dozen executives. Do not do it exactly right, you name doesn't show up on the summary reports, execs think you are not doing anything, and you end up on the next layoff list.

At one point I pointed out that three sets of fields essentially contained duplicate information, why not just have use report it once. The response was "the summary report process that reads the reports you [-]peons[/-] staffers submit doesn't read the other fields". So why not change the summary report so that it will? I stupidly asked. "We do not have the staff to maintain the report structure, so we have to limit changes. besides, it is only about a minute of your time at worst".

 

[Koolau]

For the most part, once I reached FI, I sort of relaxed and let most of the BS just roll off my back. My boss was in just about the same spot, so I didn't have a "bad attitude" I just didn't have an attitude the last several years. I'm sure it cost me some money (pay raises - wasn't even considering a promotion in those final days). I did the stuff I thought needed to be done and schlocked through the other c--p. I scheduled every dental appt., Dr. appt., plant trip, etc. etc. during usual staff meeting times. One time, I got up in the middle of staff and walked out as if I had a reason. Instead, I just went to my desk and went to ER.org for a couple of hours. It was wonderful. The only time I ever wished I had a pager was during staff. Those who had need of one usually had someone call them to go "put out an imaginary fire." What fun!

If all else failed, I'd work on TPS reports (or the flavor of the day) and realize I was being remunerated $1 a minute (with bennies) for my "efforts." Heh, heh, it made a trip to the bathroom a truly productive part of my day! YMMV

 

[Popeye]

Today my entire day was consumed writing and/or attending status meetings. I kid you not two people requested a status update as I was working on the status reports for them, then I got interrupted to go to a status meeting, where I was asked to provide a status report which delayed me doing my other status reports. This is why I don't suggest putting your money in a bank, we have too many status reports.

It's not just the banks. It is everywhere. I am convinced this will lead to the fall of western civilization. You know how we debate the causes for the fall of the Roman Empire? 1000 years from now the debate will be about us. Someone will write a book (in whatever form that will be in the future) titled "TPS Reports and the Fall of the Western World".