Holidays....big deal or just another day.

[Harpy Eagle]

So, it is looking like this year will be the first set of holidays we have spent with just the two of us since 1995. Or DS (he is 22) is moving out again next week and will not be able to come home for either holiday. Our DD (29) is in the process of switching jobs and is not sure what her time will look like.

Through the years we never made it about a specific day, it was more about the season. 20 years in the Marine Crops, then two years in retail when I got out and by the time I got out of retail my wife got her degree and was a nurse. Needless to say at least one of us was working either Thanksgiving or Christmas day most years. As such it did not matter if we celebrated Thanksgiving on Saturday or Christmas a day or two before or after.

My wife's family was always the opposite, it was always about doing it in the right day. One year we could not make to their house for Thanksgiving but were able to get there on the Saturday after. We thought it would just be a late Thanksgiving celebration, but nope...it was just a family meal together.

Now I wonder if our laissez faire view of the holidays is not coming back to bite us as neither child views it as vital we are all together. I am ok with this more so than my wife is, she is struggling with the idea of our youngest moving out, even though it is time for him to do so.

Not really sure if there is a question here or just me rambling, but either way thanks for reading!

 

[audreyh1]

If it’s just the two of us holidays are no big deal. No decorations. No big get togethers. I’ll often cook something season appropriate but a big meal may not even be on the actual holiday!

No kids, so different situation.

But this year we actually have family from overseas visiting for Xmas! And we’re taking them to the beach.

 

[Harpy Eagle]

If it’s just the two of us holidays are no big deal. No decorations. No big get togethers. I’ll often cook something season appropriate but a big meal may not even be on the actual holiday!

No kids, so different situation.

But this year we actually have family from overseas visiting for Xmas! And we’re taking them to the beach.

We still plan to decorate the house even if it is just the two of us. We love our Christmas decorations and enjoy the process of putting away the fall ones and going full in on Christmas.

 

[audreyh1]

We’re so not into decorations. I occasionally will buy a poinsettia, that’s it.

Since we’re going to a beach hotel with visiting family I don’t have to decorate either, as the hotel will be decorated. I’m sure we’ll do a gift exchange.

 

[Jerry1]

I’ve had this same issue with my DW. We are a small family and it is not at all uncommon for us to share a meal, get together, a few times throughout the year. I’d guess 5 to 6 times average. We live close to each other and beyond a full get together, we see each daughter sporadically throughout the year on an individual basis. So, to mean the holidays are just another day. With DW, you’d think, based on her need to get everyone together, that we were spread out and only see each other once a year. I deal with it, but the only day a feel a bit more important is Christmas Day. I do like to open gifts and have dinner on that day but if for some reason we couldn’t, life would go on just fine.

 

[wrigley]

Our only grandchild lives 2 miles from us. All the holidays are a big deal (for now).

Mike

 

[aja8888]

Now that my DW and one daughter has passed away, and I have no grandkids, it's just me and the dog. So there will be no decorating. My youngest daughter lives close by with her husband and I will go there for Xmas day No decorating, only a gift for DD and her husband. Oh, I do buy my dog a new toy!

 

[brett]

Only Christmas and that is because of our four grandchildren.

Other than that we could care less about the 'holidays'.

DW's family always celebrates them all.

Mine..not so much with the exception (in the distant past) of New Years eve.

 

[pacergal]

I remember the first Christmas we celebrated without my son, as he was living in Boston pursuing his Masters at the time and could not come out during break. It was difficult. But I sent his gifts and a stocking stuffed with fun stuff and money so he could at least go to a restaurant for a good meal.
Both of our kids live nearby now, so we are able to have a family day. I try not to celebrate our Christmas on the 25th though, with grandkids I want them to be their own family unit on that day.

I remember the we were younger and every other year and taking our kids to my parents or siblings homes to have an extended Christmas. It was difficult because the little ones wanted to stay and play with their toys. Don't get me wrong, I loved having family time, I just wished it could have been on the day before or day after, but other families had different ideas.

I love the holiday season! I still decorate from Halloween until New Years--lol. I enjoy the Hallmark movies, the other classic holiday movies, the music.
I love the joy and peace of celebrating in church.

 

[Pointby2]

The last few Holidays and been so quiet. My DD got divorced and my MIL passed away. There are no grand kids and the rest of the family is scattered across the country. That leaves just the four of us. Not at all what we had envisioned. Like many, when we were kids the holidays were full of high spirits, kids running around family visits, Christmas eve services. Lots of decorations.

We'll still have a tree, we'll decorate and the four of us will celebrate and exchange gifts. For tradition's sake we'll even go to Christmas eve church service. For Thanksgiving we'll have a traditional turkey with all the fixin's.

We are doing our best to keep it a "big deal" but...

 

[Kings over Queens]

Bah humbug.

Sorry, it's not that bad, but close enough.

I host Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and cook like a beast because that's what I like to do. My wife bakes Christmas cookies that are shared with friends and family. Holiday's were a bigger deal when the kids were younger and if I'm to be honest, covid changed a lot. The facade on some family members chipped away and their true toxic nature revealed. I used to love Thanksgiving, today, whatev's. Christmas eve is a fun time.

My wife decorates for all the holiday's but I'm not sure we will put up a tree because we adopted two rescue cats and they will likely knock it down.

 

[ivinsfan]

These things seems to run in cycles according to age and family situations. I'm a product of a lifer Army man and was used to not having other relatives around for holidays. Married a farmer and moved close to his family. The four sibs and all kids always gathered on CE orChristmas Day with the parents until the last parent passed. We have very flexible family and occasionally had to do a weekend before or after Christmas. No one whined about it because we are all grownups. Now that the sibs all have multiple grandkids and married kids we don't gather around Christmas. We do make a point to all meetup somewhere for a nice meal at least twice a year so that the 8 of us can be together. We see siblings multiple times during the year but make a point to meet up as a group.

OTOH DD2 married into a family that is rigid about holidays scheduling. that's a PITA...DD1 had a terminally ill MIL for 3 holiday seasons and with our complete blessing spent major holidays with that family. We'd love to do a Thanksgiving Day family meal together, but it's the other MILs "Turn" to have that day. DD1 says its MIL's turn for Thanksgiving and she will never hear the end of it if she tries to opt out. Of course the 3 in row Thanksgivings they spent with his family don't count for anything. People can be strange about this holiday stuff.

 

[Jerry1]

Now that my DW and one daughter has passed away, and I have no grandkids, it's just me and the dog. So there will be no decorating. My youngest daughter lives close by with her husband and I will go there for Xmas day No decorating, only a gift for DD and her husband. Oh, I do buy my dog a new toy!

Understanding how your situation could make you feel about the holidays but I would encourage you to do a little decorating. It's just sad to not have at least a small Christmas tree. It just has to be a little better than the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

 

[Retire2023]

When we were kids, the six of us would line up a the top of the stairs and wait for the signal to start the Christmas madness. As soon as we finished opening gifts, it was pile into the car for a two-hour drive to start the "family" rounds. Gifts and meals at every stop. By the end of the day, we were exhausted and overly stuffed! Once we all grew up, mom said our spouses' families could have the official day, but that the weekend after was hers. Ever since (over 40 years) it was that way until they both passed. Now I host two big gatherings a year, in June and after Thanksgiving so the mountain sibs can have more predictable travel weather. I certainly don't decorate the way mom did, but she would be pleased we do still gather her 6 "chicks". Personally, I would prefer low key, but I always hear her voice in my head and suck it up for another year. That's just the recluse in me talking!

 

[MarieIG]

I, for one, am willing to celebrate the holiday on the holiday AND whenever the family is available.

 

[Walt34]

Several times it's been just the two of us and when that happens we usually don't bother with anything special. One of us might cook a couple of Cornish hens if feeling ambitious. This year both Thanksgiving and Christmas will be big family gatherings so we're looking forward to that.

 

[MichaelB]

We’ll put the tree up this year because our son and fam are visiting and they’ve not experienced a US style Christmas. Otherwise we would put up a crèche and a wreath on the door.

With or without guests we enjoy the holiday. We visit with friends and consume vast amounts of holiday foods and drink. This thread reminds me that I need to lose now the weight I’m going to put on over the holidays.

 

[athena53]

Understanding how your situation could make you feel about the holidays but I would encourage you to do a little decorating. It's just sad to not have at least a small Christmas tree. It just has to be a little better than the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

To each his own- I'm widowed and have a few decorations from long ago that I put up at Christmas and Easter but I don't make a big deal of it. What I find depressing is the amount of decorations that come from China. Who knows how they were made and under what labor and environmental conditions? No need to support their economy any more than I do now.

I have fond memories of large family gatherings but the cast of characters has mostly died or moved away. They can't be re-created. Fortunately, DS, my only child, married into a wonderful extended family. They're 3 hours away and typically have one big celebration for Thanksgiving, DDIL's sister's birthday (11/5), DS' birthday (11/6) and a granddaughter's birthday (11/29). I'll go up there for that. I do visit over Christmas but not necessarily Easter. Oh, and both granddaughters will be in the Nutcracker this year, the 10-year old in the party scene and the 8-year old as a mouse. Last year it was only the older one and she was a mouse. SO much fun to be there!

For holidays with a religious origin I'm happy to observe it with my church community and usually get drafted to preach a sermon during the season. Next one is December 29.

 

[marko]

Just got back from the liquor store an hour ago. Spent $550 on booze and wine for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I WISH it was just another day and I could spend the entire day in my jams. But DW is from a large family and it just becomes an exhausting marathon.

 

[erkevin]

This one will be something a little more special. The past three, we were in Tennessee, looking after MIL with Alzheimer's. Many of those holidays, wife and I were apart or only had short visits (she stayed with her mother many nights). Also, our son had been away at school, out of state. Now, he is currently living with us doing a clinical rotation.
For the first time in a many years, the three of us will be together throughout the holidays.

 

[N02L84ER]

It was a big deal for decades, but the last older generation in-law passed this year. From now on, it will be no big deal. Yay! P.S. I am very introverted in case you couldn't guess.

 

[tulak]

I enjoy the holidays. I bake Christmas cookies every year and it’s been a favorite for kids and friends. This is the first year I’m living alone, but I’ll still buy a tree and decorate. I might get a smaller tree this year.

I’m fine with not celebrating on the actual day. We always celebrated Thanksgiving later, since the ex worked on Thanksgiving to get Christmas off. And this year Christmas might be on a different day, since DD’s girlfriend has to work. No big deal. The point is to spend time together and if we’re off by a few days, that’s ok.

 

[Walt34]

<snip> What I find depressing is the amount of decorations that come from China. Who knows how they were made and under what labor and environmental conditions? No need to support their economy any more than I do now.

Naturally I can't find it now, but in book The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel there's reference to "the Chinese sweatshops". A young Chinese guy wrote in about his aunt, who was quite happy to take a job in what we would consider such a sweatshop. Her previous occupation was that of a prostitute, so the sweatshop was to her quite a step up in the world.

I'm not trying to justify exploiting people by whatever means. Just pointing out that the exploitee may not feel that the position is one of being exploited from their perspective and compared to whatever their other realistic options are. So she may well feel that "I hope those rich foreigners buy lots of these silly decorations so I don't have to go back to what I was doing".

Life gets complicated....

 

[MC Rider]

My 4 grandsons and their P's live 3,000 miles away in NH. Would love to see them visit here, but there's the expense. No way I am going there in winter.

We will do the 3 hour drive to see Dad and 1 sister on T Day. No plans so far for Christmas. Minimal decorations expected here, or at Dads.

 

[Ronstar]

We host Thanksgiving and Christmas for extended family. A group of 10-14 in ages from 5 to 95. DW is stressed out from November 6th through December 26th every year.