How do I get over the fear of FIRE?

[Poopycat]

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You will be fine and like they told me here. Retire to something just don't retire. Retirement is not the end but the start.

Good Luck!!

I like that. A couple years ago I decided to keep working because I felt like I’d be running away from something instead of running to something. I ended up getting a job, the one I’m in right now, that is the best job I’ve had in my career. I’m glad I didn’t stop working then because now I’ll be ending my career on a high note, with much of the bitterness and anger that built up in me in previous roles all washed away.

While my job is a good one, with a decent boss, decent salary and work that is usually interesting, I just feel like it’s time to change. I have been pursuing a Spanish degree part time because I always regretted not continuing Spanish in high school, and I’ve really enjoyed it. I want to not only complete this degree but also audit courses in other topics that interest me. In my late teens/early 20’s, college was just a fun place to be. But now, I enjoy learning and want to occupy my time learning more about subjects that have always interested me.

I also love tennis and want to play as much as possible before my knees give out. And I recently learned how to play pickleball and would like to play more often. I’d even like to get my old golf clubs out of storage and take lessons again. And of course, I’d like to travel. A lot. In the US and internationally.

And I’d like to do more volunteer work, and maybe even start a web site. So now I feel like I’d be running to something. Now I’m getting excited again

 

[Romer]

I retired this past March at 60 after having a job I loved where I felt I made a difference. I wasn’t retiring to get away, but I did check my numbers when Corporate pissed me off one day. I found out I could have retired a year earlier. I ended up working another 9 months being flexible with my date and wanting to transition out at a good point.
I was nervous because I was in a high pressure Job as a Program Manager for a large Spacecraft development. Sure I had some hobbies, but nothing that could fill the time and level of energy that role did.

I haven’t regretted it a minute. Sometimes I am sitting in my study looking out the window thinking I am bored, and I realize I am choosing to be bored as I could get up and do some landscaping, go for a hike, read a book, go visit family, go learn welding or something else I have wanted to do

It has been the best thing for my health. The Pandemic made most meetings virtual so I would sit in my office for 10 hours in meetings then be tired so I wouldn’t work out. We then went on a cruise were I barely could make it up a flight of stairs on the cruise (knees). We had other things going on and then for my 61st birthday (June) I decided to get healthy by my 62nd birthday. I walk 4 miles a day with the dogs to the dog park, and try and do one active thing (In home Gym, Landscaping, etc) a day. I also cut out carbs, but mostly just bread, rice and desserts. I have lost 40 pounds since June and have another 30 to go to get back to my college weight We recently went on another cruise and I was doing multiple flights of stairs two steps at a time. I feel so much better and know my quality and length of life will be much improved

9 months later, my day isn’t jammed pack, BUT and this is the main thing, BUT it is my day to do what I want or need to do for family. My wife and I are spending much more time together, but still have our own time for our own interests and friends. I find since I have more time, I am much more patient where before I was in more of a hurry since I had little free time.
Going to the Movies or store on a Tuesday early afternoon is awesome (no crowds)

To your situation, I would find out the cost of Cobra compared to ACA for the balance of the year at least. That would let you maintain your out of pocket contributions so it isn’t a factor.

The questions I asked myself, if not now then when. And if When then what SPECIFIC changes need to occur. I could only think of small stuff I may want to add, go learn or do and all of that I could work on after I retired

I just keep thinking about how awesome it is to not have any deadlines or pressures outside of daily life and I can spend more time with family which is my true legacy.

 

[DrRoy]

+1 that financially you're fine. I would suggest that you have a feel for what you would do with your time, and a way to still interact with people. Take a look at Meetup.com.

 

[Andre1969]

Was anybody else nervous about finally pulling the trigger? What got you to feel less worried?

I'm right there with you, in that I probably have enough to retire, but not quite ready to pull the trigger just yet. In my mind, I think of pulling the trigger on early retirement as something akin to getting into a swimming pool for the first time of the season. Well, for those of us who don't live in places where you can keep a pool open year 'round, at least

Anyway, there's that initial nervousness, of the unknown, what it's going to be like. And if you dip a toe in, you might want to pull out, because you don't like the way it feels. But, once you jump in completely, and acclimate to it, you'll wonder why you didn't do it earlier!

 

[LARS]

I retired when I was 38. Now, in my mid-sixties.

For much of that time there was always a kernel of worry if I am honest, but note use of "worry" and not "doubt".

My concerns (worry) were focused on some date, well out in the future that I couldn’t forecast, that I might have to economize on my spending (which meant not owning three high end German cars and instead buying Toyotas, for example) because of the imponderable "what if" scenarios. In other words, could I maintain my "lifestyle" for the long haul.

Reaching the age of Medicare took away the niggling concern of healthcare (and fear ACA might still go away). Social Security no longer looks like such an abstract concept (not that we need it, but certainly will like it).

Finally, not to be morbid, but I no longer run spread sheets with life expectancy of fifty plus years. I can see the finish line to some degree and have tremendous confidence our net worth can survive anything (short of Armageddon) to play out the string.

So, for me, again if I’m honest, mid-sixties have eradicated that little voice whispering "but what if".

So for me it was 25 plus years… for you maybe seven…

 

[RobertTN]

Totally understand what you are going through and thinking. Like many have said, perfectly normal and expected to feel the way you do. Like all things in life, nothing is 100% risk free. Sometimes you have to just jump in the deep end, and almost all the time, it is a very enjoyable swim. I am about 18 months in and just now fully enjoying and appreciating the decision I made to FIRE at 47, and like you I have school age children. It is great spending more time with them, helping our around the house, all the little things that truly make life living.

 

[Koolau]

I retired when I was 38. Now, in my mid-sixties.

For much of that time there was always a kernel of worry if I am honest, but note use of "worry" and not "doubt".

My concerns (worry) were focused on some date, well out in the future that I couldn’t forecast, that I might have to economize on my spending (which meant not owning three high end German cars and instead buying Toyotas, for example) because of the imponderable "what if" scenarios. In other words, could I maintain my "lifestyle" for the long haul.

Reaching the age of Medicare took away the niggling concern of healthcare (and fear ACA might still go away). Social Security no longer looks like such an abstract concept (not that we need it, but certainly will like it).

Finally, not to be morbid, but I no longer run spread sheets with life expectancy of fifty plus years. I can see the finish line to some degree and have tremendous confidence our net worth can survive anything (short of Armageddon) to play out the string.

So, for me, again if I’m honest, mid-sixties have eradicated that little voice whispering "but what if".

So for me it was 25 plus years… for you maybe seven…

Very impressive! Anyone FIRE'ing in their 30's, my hat is off to you. Oddly enough, even though you retired 20 years earlier than I did, I still have had some niggling "worries" because of the various "what-if's" that the human brain can come up with.

Now, I guess I'm pretty much down to 1) What if both DW and I require (very) long-term care? 2) What if our current high inflation becomes hyper inflation? 3) What if SS and MC are drastically curtailed? 4) What if world currencies are shaken up and the dollar becomes worth a lot less? 5) What if a large asteroid falls into the mid pacific ocean?

Heh, heh, I know what you mean about curtailing your life expectancy expectations. At 58, I planned for a 41 year retirement. That's now down to 23 years - a much more manageable number.

 

[street]

I retired when I was 38. Now, in my mid-sixties.

For much of that time there was always a kernel of worry if I am honest, but note use of "worry" and not "doubt".

My concerns (worry) were focused on some date, well out in the future that I couldn’t forecast, that I might have to economize on my spending (which meant not owning three high end German cars and instead buying Toyotas, for example) because of the imponderable "what if" scenarios. In other words, could I maintain my "lifestyle" for the long haul.

Reaching the age of Medicare took away the niggling concern of healthcare (and fear ACA might still go away). Social Security no longer looks like such an abstract concept (not that we need it, but certainly will like it).

Finally, not to be morbid, but I no longer run spread sheets with life expectancy of fifty plus years. I can see the finish line to some degree and have tremendous confidence our net worth can survive anything (short of Armageddon) to play out the string.

So, for me, again if I’m honest, mid-sixties have eradicated that little voice whispering "but what if".

So for me it was 25 plus years… for you maybe seven…

Impressive!! I would imagine SS is minimum amount. The first thing I thinkk of when I hear someone ER in their 30's is SS implications. You been free for a long time not many can say that.

 

[Kook]

Poopycat - I totally understand where you are coming from. In fact, I started a similar thread about a year and a half ago and got some really great responses:

https://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f28/pulling-the-trigger-is-tough-109989.html

I FINALLY gave notice in January and my last day is March 3rd. My financial numbers are very similar to yours. In my case, I will do Cobra, at least until 2024 and maybe for the full 18 months... so I will be keeping my current insurance plans. It is expensive but allows us peace of mind about switching plans right away.

It is a hard decision and everybody has to do it on their own time, I guess. Mine finally came after a long time thinking and a lot of what-ifs. But as I read the other day, "I have never been as old as I am today....nor will I ever be as young again as I am today" (or something like that ). I want to live my life and be active while I can.

I am pretty excited. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Rianne]

Poopycat, you can always flip the fear. Start imagining or thinking how you would feel if you missed out on valuable, healthy years to enjoy after all those years of working. Does anyone die thinking I should have worked longer? You have the means to RE. It's not like you have to nitpick your budget to have a wonderful retirement.

 

[freedomatlast]

OP should run his/her numbers through Firecalc using non-ACA healthcare premiums. I'll bet the numbers will still show 100% success. That should alleviate that concern.

 

[Fermion]

What got you to feel less worried?

Pick up a paper and read the obits, then you will stop worrying about FIRE and worry more that you have already worked too long.

 

[Koolau]

For me, I exhausted the list of what-ifs and the corresponding back-ups. Eventually, I had no excuse other than I still liked what I was doing. When that changed, pulling the trigger was easy for me. (One week from decision to last day.) YMMV

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

I posted about having jumped off a cliff right after I retired in December 2021, at age 63. That was exactly how I felt and I was scared to death. Just not scared enough to keep working. [emoji23]
There was no going back. No fixing it if it was a mistake. 35 year career.
Prior to giving my 3 month notice I researched everything. How much would I get- pension and social security. What would my costs be.
One of the best pieces of advice I got was to figure out what percentage of my income would be non discretionary vs discretionary. When I realized that I could cut a huge chunk of spending and still be fine is how I made my final financial decision.

I can’t tell you how happy I have been retired. My stress level when I retired was about a 12 on a 1-10 scale. I just reached a point that I couldn’t seem to get my stress under control for whatever reasons. It actually took me the good part of the year to finally feel normal.
My advice to anyone would be to retire before you get to that point if it doesn’t put undue stress on your finances.

Do I get bored? Sometimes. I dislike the cold so Winter after the holidays was challenging for me. It’s not for lack of things to do but more because I don’t really feel like doing them. So I don’t.
I’m single but have kids and grandkids. It makes me so happy to be available to help out with the grandkids when needed.
I can meet friends for lunch or a shopping day.
It’s like being a teenager and it’s summer vacation.

Other people have chimed in on the financial aspects and they are much smarter than I- in that area.
It sounds to me like you are good to go.

 

[tmitchell]

I was really nervous when I pulled the trigger a year ago. Like you, I just knew I was ready for a change so I did it.

Looking back I have ZERO regrets about the decision, although the psychological journey has been a little challenging. I was successful in a difficult and demanding career and as such my identity was very wrapped up in the career. I’m still working through that part but slowly coming to a new normal. Hoping @RobertTN’s 18 month mark will be similar for me!

I think it’s great you’re studying Spanish and looking at hobbies etc to begin filling your time. In my experience the transition to non working life has been way more of a focus than money, so I’d get ahead of that as much as you’re able.

Money wise I think you should be just fine. I have over a million less than you and not sweating it at all. I set aside a healthy year’s expenses for lots of travel and financial freedom for my “graduation”. It was well spent!! This year I’m working on sticking to my proposed budget and so far so good.

As far as ACA are you even sure you’ll get subsidies? With Roth conversions and interest/dividends I’m not looking at much help at all. As some others have mentioned I’d just run the numbers without subsidies. You’re probably still totally fine. I also took full advantage of my insurance before I left. Got ALL the tests and some optional ones to boot. Stacked up every doctor I could in the last three months and spent liberally to make sure I checked out everything. Also hired a nutrition/fitness coach and prepaid for a year of language tutoring

Good luck on your journey.

 

[Koolau]

I will be 53 and single when I retire with a net worth of about $3.8 million, which doesn’t count the mineral rights I own in some land in Montana which periodically provides royalties. Every time I have done FIRECalc, I have gotten a 0% chance of running out of money in the next 40 years. There is no rational reason for me to be worried but I am.

Was anybody else nervous about finally pulling the trigger? What got you to feel less worried?

Only significant issues I see:

Cash flow greater than spend rate in retirement?? Less spend rate than what FIRECalc recommends?

Cash flow will w*rk with your portfolio (not too much of your stash in 401(k) tIRA??) IOW you can make it to 59.5 before needing that money?

Health care taken care of? (Sounds like you are using ACA - keep in mind that no gummint program ever really goes away. IF SS and MC are safe, ACA is safe so YOU are safe.)

Your portfolio is set up and you are comfortable with it? You didn't panic in the past year?

You have plenty of stuff to do in FIRE?

You have social interaction arranged? (Family, dating, church, clubs, GFs, volunteer stuff, etc.)??

(Anyone think of something I missed?)

I really think you're good, but you need to be comfortable with it. Many folks just have to dive in and find out that the water is fine. I was Financially Independent at 51 but waited until 58 only because I was enjoying what I was doing. The day I no longer enjoyed it was the day I decided to leave (a week later.) A definite date like you have planned is much better, but my was was sort of enjoyable in its own perverse way - but that's another story (already told here.)

 

[jldavid47]

Was anybody else nervous about finally pulling the trigger?

Almost everyone has at least some trepidation about pulling the trigger. I know I did.

What got you to feel less worried?

Actually pulling the trigger. Within weeks I realized everything was going to be just fine.

 

[11522914]

I am planning to work until August 1, 2023. Before I stop working, I will get all the basic medical exams done just to make sure I don’t have an underlying health issue I’m unaware of because I’d rather get it taken care of on employer-sponsored health insurance than through an ACA policy.

I want to leave next August, assuming I’m healthy, but as the date gets closer, I find myself getting more and more nervous instead of feeling more excited. I want to stop working and enjoy life, I’m sick and tired of company politics, but I seem to be getting more anxious about saying goodbye. I find reasons to worry: that the government will try to get rid of the ACA again; that I’ll end up with a health condition that could wipe me out even with coverage; that some unexpected expense will bite me.

I will be 53 and single when I retire with a net worth of about $3.8 million, which doesn’t count the mineral rights I own in some land in Montana which periodically provides royalties. Every time I have done FIRECalc, I have gotten a 0% chance of running out of money in the next 40 years. There is no rational reason for me to be worried but I am.

Was anybody else nervous about finally pulling the trigger? What got you to feel less worried?

I'm sure most are at least somewhat nervous about retiring. I certainly was.

What got me to feel less nervous was confidence that I calculated my annual expenses accurately and my estimates on future income. I retired at 58 1/2 on much, much, much less than your net worth. And I'm sure my annual expenses are much, much, much less than yours.

So I'm 4 1/4 years retired and my expenses have been much less than expected. I did put some buffer in there. Covid did play a part in reducing expenses for a couple of years. Everything is going well. Just believe you've done your best and have confidence in your ability to forecast. That's really all you can do. Then take the plunge.

 

[Koolau]

Almost everyone has at least some trepidation about pulling the trigger. I know I did.


Actually pulling the trigger. Within weeks I realized everything was going to be just fine.

My story (told many times) was that I "feared" NOT pulling the trigger more than pulling it. In one "instant" I realized my w*rk life was about to become intolerable. NOT pulling the trigger was NOT an option at that point. Sorta made it "easy." YMMV