How to convince my dear wife that 6M is enough ?

[goodtogo]

With the information provided, I would be inclined to work another 10 years or so. Shoot for a bit around 20 million. Even then it may be a bit thin if you live to 150 years or so. Seriously after reading your question my first reaction was...ooof. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and I would have checked out a long time ago...

 

[TickTock]

Between your cash and taxable, you can manipulate your income to qualify for ACA subsidies, but stay above Medicaid.

I don't think so. From the OP: "RE Rentals: 6 SFH, net equity 3.1M, net monthly income before tax is about 13K" (Underlining is mine.)

OP,

I'd sit down with your wife and see if she'll put numbers to the helping kids with first home purchase and legacy. Then compare what you have with that. But I suspect that pacergal is right - "This is not a financial problem, it is an emotional one."

Good luck!

 

[street]

Only advise I could give is you 5 years you will have more money then when you retired and so on. I know someone mentioned earlier but that is what you will find out. Good Luck!!!

 

[smilefun]

Thank you all for your responses and valuable input — I’ll try to provide more details below.

• About 18 months ago, I was able to convince her to retire because I told her I would likely keep working a couple more years.
• I agree with many of you that this doesn’t seem to be a “not enough money” issue. It may be something else. DW may simply be used to accumulating, or she sees that there’s still money left on the table.
• I believe in “happy wife, happy life,” so I don’t want to declare “this is it.” Last night during a walk I brought it up again, and she said, “How about one more year?” I learned from this forum and talk with her about retire when we still healthy, money can not buy time.... It seem slowly get to her. I hope and not the classic one more year syndrome. LOL
• I’ve run FireCalc and shown it to her. She glanced at it but didn’t seem very interested — maybe I didn’t explain it well. She’s not into numbers or stocks and lets me manage the finances. DW does love real estate, and thanks to her we bought at the right time 2009–2012 after RE market crash.
• We’ve slowed down quite a bit, and are taking 2–3 overseas trips a year, volunteer more at the Church etc. Again, thank you for your time.

 

[CalBird]

The 6 SFH RE may what causes your wife’s anxiety. You may still have mortgage on those RE which takes lots of cash each month. What if the economy crashes and you could not find the tenants to pay rent? Reducing some RE to convert to dividend stocks or bonds, she may feel more comfortable with the risk level.

 

[SnowballCamper]

Maybe work up a TIPS ladder. https://www.tipsladder.com/generate
It seems to only go out 30 years. $5.3M gets you $250k inflation adjusted dollars per year.

 

[Just_Steve]

Thank you all for your responses and valuable input — I’ll try to provide more details below.

• I believe in “happy wife, happy life,” so I don’t want to declare “this is it.”

I believe in "Happy spouse happy house" this way we are both happy.

 

[Phroig]

A compromise might be to work part-time for a year is that’s possible. This might also convince her that the loss of a chunk of your pay doesn’t matter.

 

[JBTX]

I’m really glad I found this forum — I’ve learned a lot from all of you.

My wife and I are both 58. She retired about 18 months ago (after a lot of convincing from me). She worked incredibly hard while raising our four kids, who are now all finished with college and working.

I’d like to retire now, but she would prefer that I keep working another 2–4 years to add more cushion to our nest egg, help the kids when they’re ready to buy their first homes, and leave something for them and future generations. We both grew up poor, so financial security means a lot to her. Our total NW is 7.6M not including our paid off house worth about 1.4M.
Here are our numbers:
- Pre tax: 2.8M in 401K/IRA (DW 1.05M & Me 1.75M) 60% stocks funds and 40% bonds
- After tax: 600K in brokerage (70% stock funds, 30% bonds and a small stock trading account that is not doing well compared to the market… LOL)
- Cash: 1.1M in various CDs earing around 4%. I have this cash for a few years now, waiting to purchase in case market/RE crash...LOL.
- RE Rentals: 6 SFH, net equity 3.1M, net monthly income before tax is about 13K
- My current salary is shy of 200K (including bonus). Job is not stress and work from home.
- Our expenses is approximate $115K/yr ($135K/yr if retire to include funds to purchase health insurance)

Questions:
1. How can I reassure my wife that we likely have enough to retire now and still leave plenty behind?
2. What should we do with the cash currently sitting in CDs? I am realizing now that at our age, I’m not interested in buying more rental properties.
3. My company offers an HSA and Roth 401(k). If I keep working, should I max them out this year?

Thank you for your time.

7.6 million /$150k per year = 50 years just assuming your money grows with inflation and nothing else. You could build a 30 year $150k TIPS ladder with rates over 2.0% and still have $3.5M to $4M left over

If this math isn’t convincing to her then this is more of an emotional or psychological issue that rational discourse probably can’t help

 

[brett]

A former colleague of mine chose to work OMY for another 3 years. He had the financial resources to retire. It was either a case of wanting more or not wanting to leave money on the table. Not certain which. I suspect the latter.

His first plan after retirement was to take his children and his grandchildren on a cruise. He spoke of it often.

He never got to do that. Within a few months of his actual retirement he dropped dead.

You do not want to be this person.

 

[Sunset]

You folks are rich !! Yea !! Way to go ! Congratulations !

Yes you can retire today.

I would sell off the rentals, one per year to avoid the giant tax hit. Having rentals is a tax bomb as unlike stocks you can't sell 5% easily (or really at all). It's also a lot like a job.

Also, I think you are being extremely conservative in investments, should probably aim for 60/40 mix overall (I'd count rentals as part of the 40 percent)

Also, not having a rental frees you up of obligations, so a month(s) long trip is possible.

 

[smilefun]

Not sure if you are interested in travel or other experiences in retirement but it won't matter because you have the income. Can you leave the 6 SFH rentals for a month while you are on a trip?

I would consider putting some of that cash to work and creating more income. How about putting 50% of it into a muni CEF at 7%? Hold the rest for rainy days

Thanks for your suggestion, I am Googling and it suggested NXP, MQY, and MHF muni CEF. I will do more research and will probably put some of the cash here, but not 50% yet. Regarding the rentals, I rent a bit below market rents and choose good tenants, so they rarely call me, if there are issues, many of them just take care of it or call someone to take care of it and send me the bills. We love travel and currently doing 2-3 oversea trips per year.

 

[flyingaway]

Do you want to retire? If so, retire.

 

[AudiDudi]

Do something to have the boss fire you or get laid off

 

[gattara]

You wrote that she is not into numbers, nor finances, so maybe she simply doesn’t have an understanding of what “enough“ is. Perhaps sitting down with a no-fee financial planner for a quick meeting may be able to get through to her a bit more and assuage her fears?

 

[Route246]

I'm the wrong person to give you advice because I just retired Oct 2025 at 68 although at 58 I probably had the same amount as you in terms of investible assets and no rental property. I kept working because it is all I knew my entire adult life, I had a job I liked and was at peak earnings (which we didn't need to live on). At any point I was leaving Megacorp RSU worth 7-figures (4 year vest) so last year I just walked away from it without regrets. You have your rental properties that generate positive cashflow so you don't need to worry about groceries. If you don't care for your job or are indifferent I would say just work on your wife and convince her you want to check out and move on.

 

[kgtest]

Nobody really needs more than 4 or 5mm for a 30 year span with a few kiddos. I am aiming to quit at 50 with about 2.5mm. Our goals are identical, perhaps not the same scale though.

Help the kids, leave a legacy.

 

[ransil]

u tube videos help my wife understand

these 2 guys are a good start

 

[Semi-Retyrd]

I suggest you tell your wife you agree with her wisdom and that you will keep working - the good news being you have a new higher paying job that you can't be fired from.

You new job is home office financial asset manager and pays 4% of liquid net worth - approximately $300K/yr which will continue to increase faster than inflation as long as you live. It's a work from home job and only requires a few hours per week of study, review and occasional reinvestment activity.

Put in this way hopefully she won't object to your taking a higher paying job.

 

[Flyfish1]

The 6 SFH RE may what causes your wife’s anxiety. You may still have mortgage on those RE which takes lots of cash each month. What if the economy crashes and you could not find the tenants to pay rent? Reducing some RE to convert to dividend stocks or bonds, she may feel more comfortable with the risk level.

I think this is a very valid point. SFH's can be a pain in the neck to manage. I assume you do not have professional management with only 6 rentals? If you want to stay in real estate with that capital there are real estate funds you could buy or REIT's. But I think taking that equity and moving it to other less time intensive assets might be wise. Then again , I know some retirees love taking care of their rental properties, so it's a personal decision.

 

[L-5Player]

You realize that your rental income entirely covers your expenses. And then there's that pesky $6M sitting around doing nothing.

This is 100% a relationship challenge and not a financial one. Sure - there are lots of details involved in tax planning, property management, etc., but that's another topic. You do not need to be employed, period.

I faced a similar challenge with my wife. She has little patience for the details of money, a significant amount of fear about all worst case scenarios happening at once, and yet inexplicably also has blinders on with random spending. It's a complicated puzzle to navigate.

I indulged her skepticism by meeting with a financial planner and getting his blessing that my plan was sound. And shortly thereafter, I just made the move. She was taken aback, and I won't get into that too much here, but after nearly 5 years she's over it. And I'm really over it.

She still doesn't really understand where the money comes from or how much we have. I've noticed that when I mention our net worth she reacts as if it's make-believe.

I understand "happy wife, happy life," but also "sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness than permission."

 

[Flyfish1]

Thanks for your suggestion, I am Googling and it suggested NXP, MQY, and MHF muni CEF. I will do more research and will probably put some of the cash here, but not 50% yet.

A good resource when looking at CEF's is cefconnect.com. Free to create an account and they have a good fund screener.

 

[pjigar]

You realize that your rental income entirely covers your expenses. And then there's that pesky $6M sitting around doing nothing.

I was going to say the same thing. Keep it simple when explaining someone who is strongly opposed to something. Tell her that we only need the rental income to live comfortably for life! And all this money and rental houses will go to the kids. Happy wife, happy life.

Speaking of kids: If anything, you will have an estate tax problem when you pass away. Start planning for an eventual large estate over the estate exemption limit. My thoughts on using regular gifts to reduce estate tax burden:

Gifting vs Inheritance

You have a ton to go on here allready. Make sure the wife is on board, even if it means a little less money. But gifting is a great idea. And will make a diffrence in some of those people's lives. Make it even for them all though. Getting left out is never a good feeling, and can cause infighting.

www.early-retirement.org

 

[joejetski]

I’m really glad I found this forum — I’ve learned a lot from all of you.

My wife and I are both 58. She retired about 18 months ago (after a lot of convincing from me). She worked incredibly hard while raising our four kids, who are now all finished with college and working.

I’d like to retire now, but she would prefer that I keep working another 2–4 years to add more cushion to our nest egg, help the kids when they’re ready to buy their first homes, and leave something for them and future generations. We both grew up poor, so financial security means a lot to her. Our total NW is 7.6M not including our paid off house worth about 1.4M.
Here are our numbers:
- Pre tax: 2.8M in 401K/IRA (DW 1.05M & Me 1.75M) 60% stocks funds and 40% bonds
- After tax: 600K in brokerage (70% stock funds, 30% bonds and a small stock trading account that is not doing well compared to the market… LOL)
- Cash: 1.1M in various CDs earing around 4%. I have this cash for a few years now, waiting to purchase in case market/RE crash...LOL.
- RE Rentals: 6 SFH, net equity 3.1M, net monthly income before tax is about 13K
- My current salary is shy of 200K (including bonus). Job is not stress and work from home.
- Our expenses is approximate $115K/yr ($135K/yr if retire to include funds to purchase health insurance)

Questions:
1. How can I reassure my wife that we likely have enough to retire now and still leave plenty behind?
2. What should we do with the cash currently sitting in CDs? I am realizing now that at our age, I’m not interested in buying more rental properties.
3. My company offers an HSA and Roth 401(k). If I keep working, should I max them out this year?

Thank you for your time.

So a little simple math. Rental income is $13k x 12 months = $156k. If your expenses are 33%, that still nets you ~$100k, close to annual expenses. You could then take the CD interest ($1.1M x 0.04) = $44k/0.75 for taxes = $33k. So you are already near $135k upper expense threshold, and have not touched any other money.

Also, you will be in a better position tax wise with rentals being primary income as you can re categorize them to active by spending more time (> 500 hrs year) on them.

 

[Ronstar]

....Also, you will be in a better position tax wise with rentals being primary income as you can re categorize them to active by spending more time (> 500 hrs year) on them.

Just make sure that you document the active management. Talk to an expert on how to accomplish this. Maybe time cards, other info. IRS will need proof of active management if audited. (I didn't pass the test)