I am alone now...

[CindyBlue]

My husband was just killed in a horrible accident. How does anyone do this? Make it, I mean? HIs cup half full of tea is still at his place on the table in front of me. The fridge is full of food I don't know how to cook (he did all the cooking.) I don't know how to start the mowing tractor. I've never sealed a deck. I don't know exactly when the garbage goes out. I'm stumbling my way through paperwork and "things I have to get done." How does anyone survive the loss?

 

[latexman]

I’m so sorry for your loss! Circle the wagons with family and friends. Talk to them; they will help.

 

[whatnot]

I am so sorry for your loss.
You don’t need to have all the answers on how to do everything immediately . Give yourself time to mourn, the rest can wait.

 

[StillFiguringItOut]

So sorry for your sudden loss. What latexman and whatnot said - surround yourself with family and friends to support you.

 

[Pellice]

Cindy, I am SO sorry to hear this. Take your time, take your mourning, accept help from others. You ARE getting stuff done. This IS how it gets done, slowly and stumblingly. As Whatnot said, you don't have to have all the answers.

 

[frayne]

So sorry and please accept my condolences. As others have mentioned, don't hesitate to reach out to friends and family for help and support.

 

[prudent_one]

I am heartbroken for you. I have done counseling for people in that situation and while I do not mean to put anything more on your plate, if you ever feel like you would like the company and support of people who have been in the same situation, consider checking whether there is a Griefshare group near you. Need Help Dealing with Grief? - GriefShare

Let your friends, your church, and other family surround you with support. Tell them what you need - they want to help but aren't sure how. You need people to talk to - it's important. Let someone come over and just be with you.

 

[mystang52]

I'm so very sorry for your tragic loss. I echo what others have suggested. You are overwhelmed with grief. You will learn, in time, how to address the day to day issues you mentioned. Regarding those chores/issues, may I suggest you write down a basic checklist for yourself; these could include garbage pickup days, finding a lawn service (any one would suffice for the short term), etc. Family, friends, neighbors may be a good source of assistance now.

 

[Jerry1]

My sincere condolences. I wish I had some great words of wisdom to help you, I don't, but I do know that somehow people get through this and I know you will too. As others have said, reach out and let people help you. People want to help you.

 

[VanWinkle]

I am very sorry this happened but I'm aware of how it feels. Take it one day at a time and don't isolate yourself from family or friends. They don't know what to say to you so you may have to open up the conversation and let them know you will continue to live your life. I wish you the best and send prayers for both you and your family.

 

[AZsniper]

So sorry. That is just terrible

 

[treeofpain]

Praying for you...

 

[aja8888]

So sorry and please accept my condolences. I became widowed when my wife died from a pulmonary embolism while she was about healed from an infection. Take it a day at a time and right now, just handle what's in front of you. There is no need to worry about how day-to-day things will be handled. When the time comes, you can find a grief support group to help you get through this huge loss.

 

[CindyBlue]

I so appreciate your words. Thank you. You all here have been so kind and helpful in my journey to retirement, and now this...
I am just at such a loss. Not much family, and only my sister lives close. Friends, but now I'm not a "couple" and we did things together as "couples." I have no partner for pickleball, or playing cards (hearts.) I have never been very social, it was just him and me...that was just so enough. Nothing is helping. I just can hardly stand the grief. He was my soulmate, my life. How can I ever live without him? How does anyone?

 

[aja8888]

I so appreciate your words. Thank you. You all here have been so kind and helpful in my journey to retirement, and now this...
I am just at such a loss. Not much family, and only my sister lives close. Friends, but now I'm not a "couple" and we did things together as "couples." I have no partner for pickleball, or playing cards (hearts.) I have never been very social, it was just him and me...that was just so enough. Nothing is helping. I just can hardly stand the grief. He was my soulmate, my life. How can I ever live without him? How does anyone?

Cindy, it will all work out over time. Let me say again, look into a grief support group at your church, or another venue. I'm still leaning to be single. You will find there are many people in the same boat. My wife has been gone 19 months now and every day is a new experience. I.m lucky to have several close friends to help out and be there for me.

 

[CindyBlue]

Cindy, it will all work out over time. Let me say again, look into a grief support group at your church, or another venue. I'm still leaning to be single. You will find there are many people in the same boat. My wife has been gone 19 months now and every day is a new experience. I.m lucky to have several close friends to help out and be there for me.

...learning to be single...that's the truth, isn't it?

 

[aja8888]

...learning to be single...that's the truth, isn't it?

Well, it is and you won't be alone as I have found out. Please take my advice to get some help getting over the immense grief you are suffering.

 

[street]

I'm so sorry to hear that and my deepest condolences to you and your family.

All I can say, please reach out to others to help you or find the help you need to do these tasks.

I wish you the best!!

 

[RunningBum]

So sorry Cindy. Just make it through one day at a time and don't worry about the longer term issues right now. Give yourself time to grieve and to heal.

 

[audreyh1]

Oh no! What a horrible nightmare! So sorry this happened.

 

[MissMolly]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grief and pain are raw right now. Losing a loved one to a tragic accident gives you no time to prepare for being alone. I'm sure you cannot think straight about anything, but it will come. Slowly, one day at a time. For now, just breathe, as hard as even that is to do. You will figure it out. One day at a time. As others have said, reach out. There are people out there who want to help. Let them.

 

[Healthy Lifestyle]

So sorry for your loss and hope this sad moment will pass. Our group has offered helpful advice during these trying times. Please focus only on what needs your attention. Anything else can wait for a better time.

 

[iloveyoga]

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. One day or even one thing at a time.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

Condolences, I can't even imagine the pain and fear you must be feeling right now when the person you've relied on for so long has suddenly been taken from you. Just take it one day at a time and ask all the questions you need to as they come up. We're all happy to help if we can and some here have been in your situation and know exactly what you're going through.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

Sorry for your loss, be resilient, things will work themselves out. Take care.