I don't miss the hustle and bustle

[folivier]

When I was a kid my parents didn't have to drive me many places. Most places I either walked or rode my bike. It was safe back then in a small town. Everybody knew your parents and watched over you. My grandkids parents today have to take them everywhere and mostly stay with them. We help when we're back home.
I remember most days walking from school to dad's office, doing my homework there, then walking home visiting and playing with friends as I saw them. Would parents let their kids do that today?

 

[aja8888]

When I was a kid my parents didn't have to drive me many places. Most places I either walked or rode my bike. It was safe back then in a small town. Everybody knew your parents and watched over you. My grandkids parents today have to take them everywhere and mostly stay with them. We help when we're back home.
I remember most days walking from school to dad's office, doing my homework there, then walking home visiting and playing with friends as I saw them. Would parents let their kids do that today?

When I was a kid, we lived in a housing project (slum) and we had one old car. Dad did all the errands when he was sober. Mom never got a drivers license. I hitchhiked everywhere as a teen. No one worried about where us kids were as long as we were home by the time the street lights were on. Plus, as project brats, we weren't worth being kidnapped!

 

[Koolau]

When I was a kid my parents didn't have to drive me many places. Most places I either walked or rode my bike. It was safe back then in a small town. Everybody knew your parents and watched over you. My grandkids parents today have to take them everywhere and mostly stay with them. We help when we're back home.
I remember most days walking from school to dad's office, doing my homework there, then walking home visiting and playing with friends as I saw them. Would parents let their kids do that today?

I often ask myself what has changed? Is it the "hands off" attitude toward everyone or are there really more "bad" people? My gut tells me it's both. I don't know if the changes I can so clearly see from the 50's until today have ever been studied and cataloged.

 

[gamboolman]

Agree with all.
That's why we had our children while we were young - thank goodness !

 

[Dash man]

I often ask myself what has changed? Is it the "hands off" attitude toward everyone or are there really more "bad" people? My gut tells me it's both. I don't know if the changes I can so clearly see from the 50's until today have ever been studied and cataloged.

I think it’s the 24/7 news cycle and now the internet and social media. Everyone hears about all the bad stuff everywhere, so it seems closer to home. Makes everyone fearful.

 

[Koolau]

I think it’s the 24/7 news cycle and now the internet and social media. Everyone hears about all the bad stuff everywhere, so it seems closer to home. Makes everyone fearful.

I'm sure there is some element of that (hearing about all the bad stuff) but my sense is that a lot of the bad stuff is worse than when I was a kid.

I went to "poor-side-of-town" schools growing up and never even heard of drugs, for instance. We saw to it that our kids went to the best (safest, academically superior) schools in the same area. They were exposed to drugs almost every day. Thankfully, none of them ever got into drugs but we watched them like hawks too.

Growing up, our "homeless" were a few alcoholics that the police all knew by name and were able to help get off the street - especially in cold weather. Now we have whole enclaves of homeless that hang out in the open.

Within the past 10 years, gangs have moved in and influence crime/drugs/violence. I don't think that's due to "the news."

My sense is that there is now a "tolerance" of such things and little inclination to deal with it. YMMV

 

[audreyh1]

I remember growing up that every one knew every one in the neighborhood and no one thought twice about scolding neighbor’s children or telling parents if they thought the kids were up to no good. Rarely strangers around and kids played outside with other kids until whatever. No play dates scheduled.

Things simply changed in the US 1970s/1980s. Urban areas became larger and more dense plus sprawling suburbs. Parents moved due to work, much larger schools etc. Neighbors didn’t know each other. Both parents worked or you had a single working parent. No extended family nearby. Parents no longer felt that their children were safe on their own outside like we had been. Children’s after school time became much more regulated.

 

[Lsbcal]

.....

Do you see and notice the young busy lives going and coming each day and thinking the same way? Lol

There are a lot of retirees on our street. When I go out for a pizza I have noticed how many people are returning from work. It's a great idea to be kind to all those hard working people out there as mentioned above and not be too demanding. Of course, speaking up when things go wrong can be done diplomatically.

When we talk with our son (with our 2 young grandchildren) he is working quite long hours and we talk about his work hassles a lot. Often we don't hear much for some weeks. It seems to be quite a communication different if you are the in-laws of the son vs. the daughter from what I've heard. He really wants to buy a larger house and they have a large income but interest rates and childcare rates and such are tough right now. Reminds me of when we lived in Silicon Valley and the fancier homes were always just out of reach.

 

[pacergal]

I try not to shop or do chores on the weekend or during lunch hour, because it is too crowded with the working folks. I'd bet most retirees do the same. And I would add that grey hair does not necessarily mean retired.

Yep, I had grey hair starting at 16, but much more by 30! lol.
Thanks, Dad.

 

[Koolau]

Yep, I had grey hair starting at 16, but much more by 30! lol.
Thanks, Dad.

Just going noticeably grey at 78. Still mostly dark. DW started at 40.

Returning you now...

 

[Gumby]

When I was a kid, we lived in a housing project (slum) and we had one old car. Dad did all the errands when he was sober. Mom never got a drivers license. I hitchhiked everywhere as a teen. No one worried about where us kids were as long as we were home by the time the street lights were on. Plus, as project brats, we weren't worth being kidnapped!

My mother's rule was simple - just don't come home in the police car.

 

[NameTaken2]

Freedom in retirement is a great thing-
Regarding kids- for some duty calls and kids are again part of their routine.
Not uncommon these days for retirees to provide child care for grandkids with so many hard-working 2 income families, the high cost of child care, and the security of not shopping out child care to others.
Some retirees are burdened by this, and others welcome the time with the kids and opportunity to help.
"Grok says":
In the United States, about 1 in 5 children under age 5 are cared for by a grandparent at least once a week, according to data from the National Institutes of Health. Grandparents may provide regular or occasional care, and sometimes they might act as primary caregivers if parents are unable to care for their children due to work or other circumstances.

The reasons for grandparents stepping in to care for their grandchildren include emotional bonding, financial savings for parents, and the desire to be involved in the grandchildren's lives. However, it also depends on the health, age, and availability of the grandparents, as well as cultural norms and family preferences.

 

[Dtail]

My guess is that there are more bad people these days. I grew up in an urban type area and kids in general were looked after. My parents didn't know where we were each day, as long as we were home for supper.
Heck, after living on my street for 6 years, I don't know the majority of the people who live on my block.

 

[latexman]

Heck, after living on my street for 6 years, I don't know the majority of the people who live on my block.

That was me pre-retirement. Post-retirement I’ve met a subset of neighbors who routinely walk their dogs like I do now.

 

[athena53]

Young families seems to be so much busier than we were at that stage. I don't know when they sleep! Having a grandkid or two sleep over is most entertaining yet still exhausting for us.

I LOVE my grandchildren (they're 11, 9 and 5 now) but they wear me out. They're not as over-scheduled as many kids- home-schooled but with an enrichment program Tuesday mornings and ballet class for each of the girls at different times and church on Sunday. No idea what the 5-year old will do but he's an avid basketball fan. The house is pretty chaotic- it's never quite clean and always cluttered. DS and DDIL do their best (and I always load/unload the dishwasher and clean the heavy pots and pans DS leaves behind after he cooks) and the kids have chores but it's still so different from my nice, uncluttered, clean home.

I'm 72, retired almost 11 years and can't imagine working FT again. I feel absolutely disgruntled when I have two fixed commitments on my calendar on the same day (mostly church and Garden Club stuff).

And afternoon naps are a blessing!

 

[aja8888]

That was me pre-retirement. Post-retirement I’ve met a subset of neighbors who routinely walk their dogs like I do now.

Same here!

 

[Lsbcal]

Mostly the dogs walk the neighbours

 

[Koolau]

I LOVE my grandchildren (they're 11, 9 and 5 now) but they wear me out. They're not as over-scheduled as many kids- home-schooled but with an enrichment program Tuesday mornings and ballet class for each of the girls at different times and church on Sunday. No idea what the 5-year old will do but he's an avid basketball fan. The house is pretty chaotic- it's never quite clean and always cluttered. DS and DDIL do their best (and I always load/unload the dishwasher and clean the heavy pots and pans DS leaves behind after he cooks) and the kids have chores but it's still so different from my nice, uncluttered, clean home.

I'm 72, retired almost 11 years and can't imagine working FT again. I feel absolutely disgruntled when I have two fixed commitments on my calendar on the same day (mostly church and Garden Club stuff).

And afternoon naps are a blessing!

You've got me flashing back to when we had one kid scheduled for a soccer practice at one end of town and another kid scheduled at the same time at the exact opposite end of town for another soccer practice.

 

[KiwiFI]

My guess is that there are more bad people these days.

As a perspective from the other side, while everyone thinks that places like Aussie and NZ are the lands of milk and honey, it simply isn't the case now. I grew up in the 70s in NZ, then moved to Aussie in my 20s. It's changed a lot & in many cases not for the better. Places like Auckland have rampant youth crime & violence that would shock people in other countries. Home invasions by teenagers are common in affluent suburbs.

I just returned from a stint in Asia, where for the most part it's incredibly safe even in large urban centres. The first thing I see on the news when I return to Aussie is the state govt is going to outlaw machetes for personal use. i.e. making carrying one illegal. It's shocking that this even needs to be legislated for. And yet here we are.

No one gives a rats about the root causes of any of this..or they're just straight up disingenuous.

End rant

 

[WWDog]

Gran Torino

If you haven't watched it, do! I'm not saying go out and shoot hoods or anything like that. Just try to make a difference in a younger persons life for the better. Maybe a little guidance or a helping hand will start a change back to a gentler and kinder world where kids can play outside until dark without being afraid. Maybe we who have lived in better times can still make a difference. I sure hope so.

 

[Midpack]

I don’t think I could do it anymore if I wanted too. Every once in a while these days when I have a “busy day” and have to work in two or three appointments or tasks, I recall what my work and personal schedule looked like almost every day and just shake my head. OTOH I don’t enjoy days when I have nothing to do - e.g. if golf is rained out…first world problems.

 

[Surewhitey]

The reasons for grandparents stepping in to care for their grandchildren include emotional bonding, financial savings for parents, and the desire to be involved in the grandchildren's lives. However, it also depends on the health, age, and availability of the grandparents, as well as cultural norms and family preferences.

My busy day, yesterday, started at 3:20 when picking up DGD from school and then her brother coming by with the other Nanna and spending a couple of hours with us. They ate like they're never fed & then they're ready to run & pillow fight for an hour... Helps that they live 1 street over...

I'm still self employed, but I try to make myself available to friends and family most days. If I have to decline it triggers me that I'm w*rking too much.

 

[Luvtoride]

Getting enough sleep is one of the best parts of retirement. I was chronically sleep deprived from the time I was 18 until I was 60.

That’s funny….I sleep less now in retirement than I did when I was working. I don’t feel tired or sleep deprived. It is nice not having to set an alarm and just getting up when I wake and feel rested.

 

[Hyper]

Absolutely no idea how we did what we did when we still worked but by the grace of the great Lord!
Completely built 5 new homes, several remodel homes. All the traveling sports and activities.
My job hours were 12-16 hrs a day with routine on call after working full days just about always being called out.
Lucky to get 4 hrs sleep a day.
Our kids are completely different as while they still make good livings and do all the sports and activities, they don't work anywhere near the hours we did.
They will most likely work until FR at 70ish, I think would be for them?
I thank the great Lord for getting us through it and blessing us to RE!

 

[Diogenes]

I'm sure there is some element of that (hearing about all the bad stuff) but my sense is that a lot of the bad stuff is worse than when I was a kid.

Another take, is that "back in the day" we had higher risk tolerance. My generation of kids rode around in the back of the family station wagon, without seat belts. Did anyone wear seat belts back then? They started to become mandatory around the time that I was starting high school. I remember a driver's ed educational class in maybe 10th grade, where a bunch of corny didactically-themed films were shown, about good behavior behind the wheel. In one memorable film, a bunch of folks in different vehicular situations had bad accidents and were at the gates of heaven. St. Peter, or whoever it was, interviewed them, and played-back their lives and decisions. A fellow who didn't maintain his brakes got into a collision and died.... meaning, that St. Peter considered his offense to be so serious, that his earthly life was over. Meanwhile, another guy was driving drunk, and crashed into a telephone pole. The consequence? Be sober next time! St. Peter sent him back to earth, where the film showed him recovering in the hospital. Can we imagine such a lesson being taught to teenagers today?

Standards were different. Expectations were different. Fathers prioritized their workplace, their buddies and hobbies... not necessarily their kids. Today, that would be louche and reprehensible. Parenting takes so much more work now, and for those of us who are child-free, it means a reduced social life... because our peers are so busy being parents. Said peers are having kids later in life, so that folks who are pushing 60 might still have the youngest kid still in high school! It also means that people are retiring later, staying later in the workforce and occupying plum spots so that the folks who are only 45 or 50 have less room for promotion. But that's a separate topic....