inheriting money instead of gifting

livingalmostlarge

Recycles dryer sheets
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We talk about whether to gift with a warm or cold hand. Whether or not to give or not. But has anyone been on the receving end? If you are willing to share, can you tell me how much? 5, 6, 7, 8 figures? What age? Did you know about it before hand? How did it affect your planning? DId you or would you have done anything different if you had known? Or did you do something different because you did know?

Or did you inherit early say by your parents paying for your children's educations k-12? Or providing college funds? Knowing you didn't need to save for college?

I'm curious about the otherside of the equation now too.
 
I got a few shares of stock from my grandfather when he died. I was, oh, maybe 4 years old. By the time I was out of college, it gave me a down payment enough to get out of paying PMI. And my parents "gifted" me college tuition at a state school.

My aunt died when my kids were about to go to college. I certainly wasn't expecting anything, but got 6 figures worth. All of it went into retirement assets so as to minimize impact on financial aid. That account has grown quite nicely, and one of the reasons I'm gifting to my kids now.
 
DW's "rich uncle" as we used to call him gave all the "cousins" $10K 3 days before his death. This was maybe 4 years ago. Honestly, we just put it in the checking account and after blessing Uncle Wink, we spent it on our usual expenses and charities. Not a major factor but much appreciated and remembered. We will visit Uncle Wink's memorial site when we return to the mainland this summer - as we do each summer now.
 
The only comment I have is don't give one child a pile when you're alive and tell the others "you'll get your share someday when I die." My dad gave my brother his farm, cattle, house and machinery when he was 60. He told me "I'll help you go to college" He didn't because my brother never made one payment on $1 million farm assets. My dad was broke. I never asked him for a nickel and even paid some bills for him.

My brother lost it all before I could go to college and my parents, who were once multi millionaires lived in gov't assisted housing. The promise was out of funds.

I pulled through and ended up OK, making it all on my own. My only suggestion is if you're going to give money while alive, or dead is....include all your children. And for children, don't count on a parent's promise.
 
My parents helped my siblings and I get started well in life. They paid for our undergrad degrees, gave us each a starter used car, and helped with house down payments, wedding gifting, and some grad school help. They also did contribute some to college savings for their grandkids. They also taught us a lot about personal finance and investing and education and work, which was probably more valuable than the helping dollars.

They also had enough to do everything they wanted in retirement and enough to take care of their medical bills with some left over, which we will inherit at some point, in our late 50s / early 60s, at a point where each of us have already made our own way. I'm retired and my sisters can retire whenever they get tired of working.

We were all very grateful and appreciative and have all paid it forward so now the grandchildren, all in their 20s, have a decent start in life too. None of them have college debt, they all have cars and jobs and are on their way to buying their first homes.

I inherited 1/3 of my Mom's moderate life insurance proceeds when she passed away. I didn't even think about it or even know the amount until after she passed away. She passed shortly after I retired, although the two events were coincidental.

Like my parents, I've helped my three kids with the education piece and have paid for their college degrees and helped them get started with houses and will help with weddings if/when that happens.

I also have been giving annually with a warm hand for the past five years or so. I gift some cash on their birthdays and Christmas, then do an annual transfer of stock. The amount of the transfer is something I decide on after looking at my own financial situation, which includes a very cursory calculation to see where I may stand in relation to the estate tax limit in the future. I also look at my WR% - to the extent I'm underspending I'll give more away because obviously I don't need it.

In my annual gifting email I always explain the motivation behind the gifting, the tax implications, and reasons the gifting might stop (if they do something horrendously felonious or if I need the money myself). I do monitor for signs of EOC (economic outpatient care - term from Millionaire Next Door book) and wonder if that may become a concern; I'll deal with that if we get there.
 
In my annual gifting email I always explain the motivation behind the gifting, the tax implications, and reasons the gifting might stop (if they do something horrendously felonious or if I need the money myself). I do monitor for signs of EOC (economic outpatient care - term from Millionaire Next Door book) and wonder if that may become a concern; I'll deal with that if we get there.
You might try delaying a few months and see if anyone bounces you about it? :cool:
 
I was told I need not save a lot of money since I'd inherit (no amount specified) but it was implied it would be a few bucks. . .

I did not get a dime so it is is a good thing I didn't listen. . .

I'm old now but both parents could have easily afforded to pay for things like grad school (I was a very good student) and help on things and I got. . . nothing . . .

This is one of the topics that makes me feel sort of bad cause though at the time I didn't expect anything now I wonder why I didn't get it. It wasn't like I was out robbing 7-11s or something. . .

The upside is I can be proud of supporting myself I guess.
 
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My parents paid for all but $14,500 of college. They helped with med school but to a much smaller degree so I graduated owing about $102,000 total including undergrad.

My parents helped some with our wedding but her parents paid the bulk of it as was traditional 30+ years ago.

My mom gifted us $10,000 toward our down payment when we bought our house in 1994 and has given us numerous smaller cash gifts over the years in the couple hundred range. She did buy our bedroom set. That was about $3,000.

Mom is 94. If she dies without needing any expensive care, I’ll inherit around 400K.

My big inheritance came from my cousin who was like a brother to me. He died in 2021 and left me roughly $1.3 million give or take. I knew it was coming and had reviewed everything with him prior to his death so I knew where everything was and what I needed to do after he died.

He was a big proponent of early retirement. He retired at 55. While I wasn’t quite able to match that, the money he left me did help me retire at 59. I can’t think of anything that would have pleased him more than knowing that’s how I used the money.
 
If you are willing to share, can you tell me how much? 5, 6, 7, 8 figures? What age? Did you know about it before hand? How did it affect your planning? DId you or would you have done anything different if you had known? Or did you do something different because you did know?
At age 54 I inherited mid 6 figures from my Mother. I had some idea of what it would be. I did not do anything differently because I knew. It made up about 25% of my investments at the time. My sister (who had a lower NW) got about twice as much as I did. We used 5 figures of it to pay off my mortgage, and a smaller amount to remodel the kitchen. The majority of it was reinvested.
 
My parents paid for my college education, my divorce and my first car (a new 6k Camaro). I paid for my children's education and first cars too.
I have received 50k from an uncle as an inheritance. My mom is 91 and I monitor and control her investments, so I know the value at any given time. I do not factor this money into any retirement planning, although am aware of it.
 
I'm very lucky: I inherited good genes, good memes, and a decent amount of money from each parent.

Given a choice, I'd rather have good genes & memes rather than money. I've seen first-hand what happens when the opposite is true and it ain't pretty. :nonono:
 
I'm very lucky: I inherited good genes, good memes, and a decent amount of money from each parent.

Given a choice, I'd rather have good genes & memes rather than money. I've seen first-hand what happens when the opposite is true and it ain't pretty. :nonono:
Sadly I didn't even get the good genes!
 
My mom is 91 and I monitor and control her investments, so I know the value at any given time. I do not factor this money into any retirement planning, although am aware of it.
Same here for sure. None of our planning includes an inheritance from my mom, though I do occasionally think about what we might use that money for. If we do get 300-400K, it's a big enough chunk of change to require some thought. But it could also disappear quickly if she requires significant care or a nursing home stay before passing.
 
At age 54 I inherited mid 6 figures from my Mother. I had some idea of what it would be. I did not do anything differently because I knew. It made up about 25% of my investments at the time. My sister (who had a lower NW) got about twice as much as I did. We used 5 figures of it to pay off my mortgage, and a smaller amount to remodel the kitchen. The majority of it was reinvested.

Were you told why she got more?
 
I was told I need not save a lot of money since I'd inherit (no amount specified) but it was implied it would be a few bucks. . .

I did not get a dime so it is is a good thing I didn't listen. . .

I'm old now but both parents could have easily afforded to pay for things like grad school (I was a very good student) and help on things and I got. . . nothing . . .

This is one of the topics that makes me feel sort of bad cause though at the time I didn't expect anything now I wonder why I didn't get it. It wasn't like I was out robbing 7-11s or something. . .

The upside is I can be proud of supporting myself I guess.
I get that you are annoyed, but how much did your parents' estate turn out to be worth and where did it end up going?
 
My parents helped pay for college. I paid what I could through scholarships and work, and they paid the rest. Nothing else, they never offered any help with cars or home down payment. Of course I knew they were not well off, regular blue collar workers with a frugal mindset. I was the oldest of 4 so if anything were offered to me, they would have to offer it to the others down the line. By the time the 4th was in college and young adulthood, I'm sure she got much more help.
Eventually when they passed, we each got low 6 figures, much of which Mom had inherited. I passed about 80% of it to my kids within a couple of years. I am well aware of how helpful it can be to a 30-year-old vs a 70-year-old!
 
My Dad gave me $1000 after my Grandfather passed, from what I understand he got nearly 1/2 million.
My Mother and Stepfather bought my Paramedic books when I started... couple $100...
My Mother paid about $1000 for the new under flooring in our house rebuild while I was in the hospital.
DW got leftover furniture and housewares from her Mother and Grandmother.
Thats about all
 
Pops didn't do anything for the 4 of us. He even sent favorite aunt $8k instead of any of the kids. She was happy to see it come back to us. He was a crotchety old guy...

Mom raised us well (albeit simple and frugally). She & husband only saved ~$200k and is still going. Hopefully she finds good use of this vs giving to any of us. She surprisingly did better than pops even though earnings were extremely meager.

We (kids) are OK financially and don't need it, but mom wants to leave us something, but I don't expect it.

We "gift" to 529s and a boatload of toys, big gifts will eventually come...
 
I knew from the day I learned what an inheritance was that there would be none for me. I also knew that once I graduated from high school and walked out the door three weeks later that there would be not a dime of other financial assistance from my parents. I was right about both of those things.

Reading here and elsewhere about all the fights and hard feelings accompanying inheritance and adult financial support issues, I'm actually happy things worked out for me the way they did. I don't owe anything to anyone else, and no one can argue I was somehow advantaged to their detriment. I acknowledge that the young wife has been pulling in tandem with me these last 41 years; she is the only one with a claim to my assets.
 
I never factored any inheritance into our planning.
Parents made sure each kid had a good reliable used car for college, but I paid my own tuition and other costs.
Parents taught us LBYM and other financial info. My Dad was my financial guru, and who I discussed retirement, investing, etc with. He was the calm during the storm, whenever stocks went south.

DH inherited twice, once from Grandmother/Mom (who died within a year of each other) and once from Great Uncle who never married or had kids. Both were $10-20K range.

My folks gave my siblings and I $10k three times throughout their early retirement, all coincided with a financial issue in one of my siblings family. It was their way of helping out, but giving to all.
When my last parent died, my siblings and I inherited mid six figures each, plus 100k each from the sale of their home. I'd give it all back in a second if it meant I could I have my folks back.
I never counted on that money, but it boosted our portfolio and that is what we share from with our kids when we gift.
 
My mother passed away almost 30 years ago when I was in my late 30s. My parents’ trust provided that my brother and I would receive my mother’s interest in my parents’ townhome whenever it was sold. My father had the property appraised and provided my brother and me with annual payments against our mid five figure inheritance for a number of years rather than make us wait for him to sell the townhome. Most of that money was invested.

My dad’s brother passed away about 5 years ago. He left an almost seven figure estate to my father. Once everything settled, my father decided to share his inheritance with my brother and me and we each ended up with a third. I invested my share and have used it and the gains to fund our retirement for the last three and a half years.
 
I get that you are annoyed, but how much did your parents' estate turn out to be worth and where did it end up going?
I can't exactly answer that. I'd say easily in the millions becasue I remember some talk of estate tax from the spouse of parent 1 (who left it in trust for brand new spouse and 1 of 3 kids. It was complicated so not sure I really understood and new spouse is also still living - for all I know she closed the trust and gave it to her kids even though they also had a trust or spent it or heck could have set it on fire).

Other parent is still living but unlikely to have much. I've been told I will get it but parent is moody and easily confused so could be any result.

If I was to be gifted money 5K at age 30 would have helped more than 50K tomorrow. But since so far I'm at "none of the above" I'm assuming that is where I will remain.

So far as I know the other kids did not get help during regular life but perhaps I would not have heard. . .

None of his children were consulted on the funeral and his wife did not even notify us. The kid living in the same town had to tell us.
 
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I can't exactly answer that. I'd say easily in the millions becasue I remember some talk of estate tax from the spouse of parent 1 (who left it in trust for brand new spouse and 1 of 3 kids. It was complicated so not sure I really understood and new spouse is also still living - for all I know she closed the trust and gave it to her kids even though they also had a trust or spent it or heck could have set it on fire).

Other parent is still living but unlikely to have much. I've been told I will get it but parent is moody and easily confused so could be any result.

If I was to be gifted money 5K at age 30 would have helped more than 50K tomorrow. But since so far I'm at "none of the above" I'm assuming that is where I will remain.

So far as I know the other kids did not get help during regular life but perhaps I would not have heard. . .

None of his children were consulted on the funeral and his wife did not even notify us. The kid living in the same town had to tell us.
Sorry to hear this. On a much lesser note, my sister received around 250k about 9 years ago, while both parents were still alive, but nothing to the other siblings. The monies were put away for her many years before that, as my parents were worried she could have trouble supporting herself.
Turns out, her and her hubby (I believe) have done the best of the 4 siblings.
 
Dad died in 2021 after 18 months in LTC so I wasn't expecting much. I still remember getting the e-mail from my brother that Dad had left $1.4 million. I almost fell over. It had to be split with my 4 siblings but still... I'm spending it down over 10 years. So far about 50% has gone to my grandchildren's 529 accounts, 25% to charities and the rest to taxes withheld on the Inherited IRA withdrawal and to half the cost of my bathroom remodel and some family travel.

I'm blessed that I don't really need it.
 
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