inheriting money instead of gifting

I was told I need not save a lot of money since I'd inherit (no amount specified) but it was implied it would be a few bucks. . .

I did not get a dime so it is is a good thing I didn't listen. . .

I'm old now but both parents could have easily afforded to pay for things like grad school (I was a very good student) and help on things and I got. . . nothing . . .

This is one of the topics that makes me feel sort of bad cause though at the time I didn't expect anything now I wonder why I didn't get it. It wasn't like I was out robbing 7-11s or something. . .

The upside is I can be proud of supporting myself I guess.
From the time I was 3 feet tall my dad told me and my brother "stay here on the farm and work for me and you'll get my farm. , don't think about college or working for someone else" I did the math when I was about 12 and realized there's no way that is going to work. My brother believed him, he got the farm and lost it. I was left out entirely. I was the youngest and got a job in town.

It taught be never give up your life or live on promises, especially from family.

Benjamin Franklin had the thought that the inheritance tax should be 100%. It would prevent parents from controlling their kids and robbing their kids of their potential because of who was holding purse strings and promises over them.
 
The 3 of us kids knew in advance that we would get an inheritance since our parents gave each of us a copy of their trust, will, POA, etc. We knew their estate was to be divided equally between us. It was mainly money since there was no house, cars, etc. My sister and I didn't really care if we received anything since it wasn't something that we had earned ourselves and they had saved to help us through college. We would have been fine if they used it for enjoying their senior years.
I didn't do anything different and continued as an educator on short pay. I had already made my plans years ago for making sure my wife and I would be able to eventually retire without stress.
 
My mother didn't have much as she was a waitress, single parent most of the time, raising 3 kids. She lived in my home the last 20 years of her life as she couldn't afford to live on her own after retiring due to health issues at 62. I managed her money for her and her meager savings via an insurance policy, annuity, a bit of cash and her Schwab IRA account amounted to just over $100K. I made sure my brother, sister and I all got an equal share and gave all of her furniture to my sister. She had given her car to one of my sister's kids a few years earlier when she could no longer drive. I had retired 5 months before she passed so the $30K or so I received was not essential to me by then.

My father passed the year before her and all I got was a large envelope full of pictures sent by his 2nd wife. Not complaining as they didn't have much and his wife was a good person I liked a lot. Anything they had when she passed went to their kids (my half brothers).

All in all, I inherited more than I ever thought I would so it was never an issue for me.
 
Mid 4-figures.
5, 6, 7, 8 figures? What age?

Mid 4 figures. I was in my late 50s, so the amount was not meaningful to me. The fact that it had a + sign and not a - sign was meaningful to me, as it meant my parents made it to the end in positive territory. And I was grateful for the support I got throughout life.
 
Been gifted a few things.

My first car.
My 1st and only semester I went to for college (I paid for the books.)
Part of the down payment on my first home.
Most of our wedding expenses.
A new roof and fence for our first home.
Couples therapy.
A Roth contribution back in like 2019.
Our kids also get gifts of 529 contributions.

DW was gifted college, a small roth and broker account from her DGF. It allowed her to pay for an apartment and college, and 2 cars along with some other small miscellaneous expenses.

We are blessed. We have gifted to various charities and causes or friends with go fund me's for various tragedies or emergencies.
 
I was told I need not save a lot of money since I'd inherit (no amount specified) but it was implied it would be a few bucks. . .

I did not get a dime so it is is a good thing I didn't listen. . .

I'm old now but both parents could have easily afforded to pay for things like grad school (I was a very good student) and help on things and I got. . . nothing . . .

This is one of the topics that makes me feel sort of bad cause though at the time I didn't expect anything now I wonder why I didn't get it. It wasn't like I was out robbing 7-11s or something. . .

The upside is I can be proud of supporting myself I guess.
Yes, you can be extremely proud of yourself for supporting yourself. I'm sorry for the false promises. Parents can do some of the dumbest things sometimes...It sounds like you were pretty savvy.
 
My parents paid for my undergraduate education and for my graduate tuition. I am so grateful for that. They also paid for my very, very modest wedding.

I have never expected to inherit anything though Dad always planned on it in his mind anyway. He just passed away and my prayer is that my mom will have enough to live on comfortably as that was my dad's fervent wish, that he be a good provider. It will depend on her health and how long she lives.

I am grateful I never counted on any inheritance. My sons always tell ME that they don't expect an inheritance. I tell them that is wise, and yet remind them that we have to live somewhere and at the very least they'll inherit our home. Better chance is that they'll inherit a hefty sum so we're in the process of thinking through how we want to pass on money now. We just gave one son a nice downpayment for his first home. He wasn't expecting it at all and it was a joy to give to him.
 
Folks launched me with a cheap car and state bachelors degree and two JCP suits. Got $5K unexpectedly from my grandmother when she passed away when I was in my 40's. Money is fungible but I'll spend that particular $5K on a trip (probably Vancouver) as they traveled extensively across North America in their RV (Several engines and over a million miles on the rig before they got too old).

No significant gifts but will most likely inherit 6 figures from my folks (even split between the kids) -not something I count on and I don't look forward to receiving. I'll earmark any inheritance for my long term care but any additional assets might make me a bit looser with some of "my" money and maybe I'll BTD a bit more. I expect their loss to hit me hard and it's something I find myself thinking about more and more.
 
The best "inheritance" by parents gave me was not money. It was, among other things, "teaching me how to fish", to persevere, to have a moral center, and to take responsibility for my actions. Since "more is caught than taught", they practiced what they taught.

So me (and my 6 siblings) had zero expectation of any inheritance. Heck, with 7 kids, how much could they leave to each of us? 😂 What money they had they prioritized on feeding and clothing us, and getting us good educations. And we were not looking for anything either. My starting salary at Megacorp was almost what my Dad was making at the time, his salary eventually topped out under $30K, so why should I expect anything? Long story short, I was surprised to get a 4 figure inheritance when my Dad died, which we invested in our own children. Then when Mom died 20 years after Dad, my portion of the estate, primarily through the sale of the home was in the upper 5 figures. None of this was counted on.

Currently I am one of the beneficiaries in the will of a friend that, when settled, might also give us 5 figures. It is going through probate as his ex-wife has challenged him leaving anything to anyone other than their adult child. She is the child's guardian. Even though they divorced 40+ years ago and he left the child a quarter of his estate, she feels the child should get everything and that my friend was coerced into leaving anything to anyone else. Whatever happens, happens, and it is not on my radar until the outcome. It has already been in the courts for more than a year, so who knows what the outcome will be or what might be left :).
 
My parents paid for my undergraduate education and for my graduate tuition. I am so grateful for that. They also paid for my very, very modest wedding.

I have never expected to inherit anything though Dad always planned on it in his mind anyway. He just passed away and my prayer is that my mom will have enough to live on comfortably as that was my dad's fervent wish, that he be a good provider. It will depend on her health and how long she lives.

I am grateful I never counted on any inheritance. My sons always tell ME that they don't expect an inheritance. I tell them that is wise, and yet remind them that we have to live somewhere and at the very least they'll inherit our home. Better chance is that they'll inherit a hefty sum so we're in the process of thinking through how we want to pass on money now. We just gave one son a nice downpayment for his first home. He wasn't expecting it at all and it was a joy to give to him.
Maybe consider a "reverse inheritance". Take some of your wealth and make sure your mom has enough to live comfortably. Answer your own prayer and teach your boys something in the process.
 
Context, my family is upper middle class, though my parents were technically not when I was little (my dad was a college professor in Ireland which was a very poor country at the time, so high prestige and low pay, and my mom gave up her nursing career when I was born). My mom's side was poor (Irish) and my dad's side was very well off (grandfather founded a successful market research firm and ran that for decades in NYC).

My grandfather paid for my college, it was deeply meaningful as it let me go to the school I wanted to and graduate with no debt, which was a great starting position. When he and my grandmother on the other side passed, I inherited low six figures from each which was a VERY meaningful bump to my investments at the time (about doubled them). My parents started gifting the annual max to myself and my brother about 15-20 years ago, which has been extremely meaningful, the marginal utility of those dollars at the amounts I made as a video game designer were very high, enabling me to do more than just max my 401k contributions (maxed Roth when I qualified and had non-tax advantaged investments as well). Even now when my finances are pretty secure, it is appreciated and helpful (my current job is about to go away probably and this year's gift makes that much less urgent a situation). And importantly my parents started doing it because they wanted to pass on our inheritances when it would make a more significant impact on my brother's and my life, and while they were alive to see and enjoy the impact their gifting was having on our lives.

The keys that made this all work I think:
College not costing anything for my brother and I directly didn't spoil us because we were already used to the idea that family paid for us to get educated. Our job was to make the most of the learning opportunities. The starting debt free was an invisible benefit that wasn't like we were being given recurring handouts once we were working adults. Amusingly, years later, I realized I probably would have been better off going to a cheaper school and having been given that money to invest, heh, but then I wouldn't have had the experiences I have had and become the person I am, so... who knows? :)

The inheritances felt like a one-off thing and happened at a time in my life where I was already along my way investing to my first million. It felt like a confirmation of the path I was on, not a pile of unearned money to be spent frivolously

The annual gifting my parents waited till my brother and I were both adults in our 30s, established in our careers with a track record of responsible financial behaviour. The money made a significant marginal difference to me earlier, though was less significant for my brother who was in management consulting. In more recent years it was more significant for my brother who was no longer managing 200 consultants in a firm and trying his own startups, and less so for me, but the overall effect was to smooth out rough times and help us along, without us feeling entitled to it, or reliant upon it.

I think it matters that we got money in ways that didn't make us feel dependent or create expectations initially, and then later money came after we were already showing we were financially responsible people. I fully expect to inherit significant amounts from my parents when they pass but hopefully that will be long after it would make any difference to my lifestyle as I'd rather have my parents for as many more decades as possible than bump up my financial escape velocity point. And if they manage to spend such that they die with zero, I will be happy as heck that they had a fun set of decades, though that outcome seems unlikely given they feel flush enough to make annual gifts.
 
Wife and I have a bunch and are independently comfortable. My late brother and his wife not so much as they lived slightly above their means while we lived way below our means. We each got 1.2M, mine is almost 2M a few years later due to a 500-index fund. We plan to dump that 2M into a home purchase this month as a form of asset reallocation (formerly being 95/5 AA). Already have about 1.3M in LTCG tax to deal with in 2026, a very nice problem to have, BTW. The new home is going to need 1.5M-2M to facelift, remodel and build a nice ADU. We believe at current property comps we should recoup all of what we are putting into this house. If property comps drop, then so be it, we are OK with that. I just felt at 67 it was time to get out of our 95% equity position. The goal is to pay a lot of taxes and eventually have 4M in SUTXX, currently yielding 4.34 with no CA state tax but who knows what it will yield later. It will provide more than 150K at today's rate, more than enough to pay our expenses. By then RMD will be well over 120K, SS is maxed out so we should have appreciating assets when we are in our 70s and beyond.

Moral of the story is while we lived below our means and did very well with equities, compounding, timing and saving I feel somewhat "deprived" of that 1.2M inheritance windfall. I miss my parents dearly and would trade that inheritance to have them around today if I could. I know most of my friends and family view their inheritances as entitlement, paycheck, bonus, lottery payout, etc. It is unearned income and ready for extreme BTD. I got none of that instant gratification when my father died, just grieving and sadness that he is gone. The only saving grace is that inheritance money did not change me or any of my immediate family one bit. It was planned and expected but provided no foolish pleasure the way that so many enjoy when they lose their parents and get paid that honor.
 
This has been 20-25 years, but each of us (5) received about $150K total from both parents. They also paid for our education all the way through university.
 
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We talk about whether to gift with a warm or cold hand. Whether or not to give or not. But has anyone been on the receving end? If you are willing to share, can you tell me how much? 5, 6, 7, 8 figures? What age? Did you know about it before hand? How did it affect your planning? DId you or would you have done anything different if you had known? Or did you do something different because you did know?

Or did you inherit early say by your parents paying for your children's educations k-12? Or providing college funds? Knowing you didn't need to save for college?

I'm curious about the otherside of the equation now too.
My college was paid due to scholarships. Parents paid for the books. They also gave me $10K to help with the down payment when I bought my first house in the mid 90s. Otherwise, they lived frugally and gave us each (3 children) low 7 figures when they passed last year.

My wife's parents have been giving their kids (5) the gift limit each year for about 9 years. My mother-in-law is 84 and is in a nursing home that's paid by their annuity. She has a low 7 figures investment account that is now being accelerated in terms of giving over the next few years (think $50K instead of $15K).

We did not assume any inheritance. Anything we get is a bonus. My only regret is that I wished my parents spent more on themselves but they were mostly homebodies and content. My in-laws did live a good life (3 properties, frequent travel).

We helped our kids with college (paid for private school except for $20K worth of student loans). We'll help them with their cars/houses when the time comes.
 
I heard the most wonderful story on a Motley Fool Money podcast today. Someone wrote them a note and said his father died in the 1980s, leaving him in charge of the investments Mom inherited- $250K on CDs yielding 8% at the time. Dad asked him to continue rolling over into CDs. Son was a CPA, knew nothing about investments but realized Mom's money would not last if invested only in CDs, and headed to the library. He started following Motley Fool, then a newsletter, and invested in stocks they recommended, including Microsoft, and just held onto them through multiple bear markets. Mom traveled the world before she died and the remainder put 3 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren through college.

They raised him right.
 
My dad gave me $1,000 in 1977 when I was 17, money for college.
Beyond that some random small denominations from mom and step-dad, not much. graduated college after six years with plenty of debt.
Inherited nothing, even had to pay for mom’s cremation, it was cheap.
Seems my wife may inherit about $25k.
Someone has to come from the shallow end of the gene pool.
 
My parents supported me through High School. I left home at 18. I have not received anything since. My mother passed a few years ago. My dad is in his 90's. I guess I'll get something when he passes, but I am not factoring anything in. I'd me fine if my siblings got all of it. They probably need it more than I. I am the youngest and the only one retired.

My DW's parents are alive. They slip a little here and there to their kids. It is very kind of them, but it is not going to change our lives. I have no idea how much money they have. They live simple lives.
 
seems like er tends to lean people inheriting less.

Two ideas:

1. I suspect it is concentrated - many people inherit a little, a few people inherit a lot.

2. The people who inherit a lot may be reticent to post on this thread for any number of reasons.
 
I've been pretty much independent since I left for college. College was paid with grants and federal loans, nothing out of pocket until I graduated. I paid for everything in college- fraternity dues, apartment rents, food. In my mind, I was completely independent and didn't ask my parents for anything once I was in college (they didn't have much to give anyway), and they didn't appear to want to help either.

Fast forward 30+ years, with one DD a college graduate, and the other a Junior in college. Didn't qualify for any loans so we paid for majority of their colleges. We've also been involved in their lives. We helped them move into various dorms and apartments throughout the years. We visit them. I regularly helped them over facetime with math and science homework over the years. I really enjoy being a part of their lives. Not sure if it's just a generational thing but it's interesting how different my relationship is with my kids vs my parents relationship with their kids.
 
Two ideas:

1. I suspect it is concentrated - many people inherit a little, a few people inherit a lot.

2. The people who inherit a lot may be reticent to post on this thread for any number of reasons.

OP - great question. I've inherited small 5 figures to this point. Gonna disclaim any other to give my share to siblings as I FIRE'd and they haven't.

Somewhat surprised most of the posts have a lot of story and relatively small $$.

I've already provided 6 figures for my two kids (currently teenagers) via trust and it will be 7. One will do fine. The other is seriously questionable (simply immature at 15 and only seeking immediate gratification and to avoid things that are difficult - otherwise, great kid). They aren't scheduled to know until they are 30 assuming I don't die prior.

Ben Franklin did give his kids land, houses and property. Cash went elsewhere. He probably said that after getting hit by lighting.
 
I've been pretty much independent since I left for college. College was paid with grants and federal loans, nothing out of pocket until I graduated. I paid for everything in college- fraternity dues, apartment rents, food. In my mind, I was completely independent and didn't ask my parents for anything once I was in college (they didn't have much to give anyway), and they didn't appear to want to help either.

Fast forward 30+ years, with one DD a college graduate, and the other a Junior in college. Didn't qualify for any loans so we paid for majority of their colleges. We've also been involved in their lives. We helped them move into various dorms and apartments throughout the years. We visit them. I regularly helped them over facetime with math and science homework over the years. I really enjoy being a part of their lives. Not sure if it's just a generational thing but it's interesting how different my relationship is with my kids vs my parents relationship with their kids.
Interesting. I was never helped with homework or anything even in grade school.

It was more like I was a pet than a part of the family. The other kids were treated the same so I didn't take it personally but it was different than people seem to be now. We were fed and not harmed or anything but . . . IDK.
 
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My parents had no assets, apart from 1 car so I had to learn about and make financial decisions as an adult. The one lesson I did learn from my mother is to keep money aside in a bank account that my husband didn't know about. My get out money, should I need it.
My husband and I have been married for 46 years and we still keep separate bank accounts.

He inherited $200K after his father died and we used most of that to pay out the mortgage. We have always earned modest incomes so haven't assisted our kids with houses or university education but they will inherit a modest home each. They are doing fine, standing on their own two feet.
 
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