Little surprise on withdrawals

[aja8888]

So sorry for your loss. Our future of ER is based on everything together. You’ve given me lot to think about. And visa versa. Actually, we were eating lunch at Pompano Joe’s here in Destin, and I asked him what would you do without me after 39 years? He said find a young bimbo, but never fall in love again. I don’t have a clue what I would do.

Yes, Rianne, there is a lot to think about if one spouse leaves the earth unexpectedly. I suspect your husband would not be in the market for a young bimbo anytime soon though. But it's never too soon to start planning on this unless you are sure you will both leave together. Anyway, good luck!

I'm still in a fog and thank God I have a sensible daughter and some really close friends.

 

[aja8888]

I'm sure you've heard it before, but "they" (whoever that is) recommend not making a big decision - like giving up the house/getting an apt. right after a major life change. I heard "one year" as a buffer. No idea if this is good advice or not.

I think the exception to "no major changes" might be if the memories where one lives are painful. My guess is that you are "rattling around" that old house and it seems too big. But I'm also guessing the memories are mostly good.

So, no real advice - except to think on such a decision for a while.

I am so pleased that your daughter and friends are all close by. What a blessing!

Going out to look at apartments will probably tell me why I don't want one and
that they are very expensive these days. But it will get me out of the house, anyway.

Yes, I'm still rattling around this old house and it's full of reminders and memories. Maybe I'll redo the furniture and paint the place. Nah, that would cost too much.....

 

[pb4uski]

I am now a widower as my wife passed on December 8th, 2022. I was out having breakfast with our DD yesterday and chatting about what I am going to do with the rest of my life and she asked, "what are you going to use your nest egg for now that she is gone?"

I said I have no big spending plans and may sell the "paid for house" and bank the money and get an apartment to save on expenses.

My daughter said "why"....I said I don't know....

I'm still healthy but that can change any day.

I need to rethink this spending stuff and the OP should too!

DW's uncle and aunt, in their mid to late 80s, recently sold their house and moved into a rented condo in a nice condo community where they used to own a condo and knew a lot of their neighbors. Why? Not for money, they could have afforded to own. Her uncle told me because it will make things much easier for their sole heir, their son, when the second of them dies... he can keep paying the rent while he empties the apartment and then give the landlord proper notice and he is done... no real estate to sell.

 

[Koolau]

DW's uncle and aunt, in their mid to late 80s, recently sold their house and moved into a rented condo in a nice condo community where they used to own a condo and knew a lot of their neighbors. Why? Not for money, they could have afforded to own. Her uncle told me because it will make things much easier for their sole heir, their son, when the second of them dies... he can keep paying the rent while he empties the apartment and then give the landlord proper notice and he is done... no real estate to sell.

There definitely are lots of reasons that favor renting. (Inflation potential is not one of them.) We rent on the mainland as it is MUCH cheaper for us. That way, we have no maintenance. The downside is that the landlord could "kick us out" at some point. Since she is our niece, I'm hoping that doesn't happen. BUT, at some point, she WILL want to sell the place (with her business) and then we may be "homeless." Not looking forward to that. Maybe we'll get lucky and die first.------

 

[aja8888]

DW's uncle and aunt, in their mid to late 80s, recently sold their house and moved into a rented condo in a nice condo community where they used to own a condo and knew a lot of their neighbors. Why? Not for money, they could have afforded to own. Her uncle told me because it will make things much easier for their sole heir, their son, when the second of them dies... he can keep paying the rent while he empties the apartment and then give the landlord proper notice and he is done... no real estate to sell.

Yes, that's one of my reasons for contemplating selling and renting.

 

[ncbill]

DW's uncle and aunt, in their mid to late 80s, recently sold their house and moved into a rented condo in a nice condo community where they used to own a condo and knew a lot of their neighbors. Why? Not for money, they could have afforded to own. Her uncle told me because it will make things much easier for their sole heir, their son, when the second of them dies... he can keep paying the rent while he empties the apartment and then give the landlord proper notice and he is done... no real estate to sell.

One can always move to an owned condo or townhouse.

Pay a monthly fee and never have to worry about outside maintenance again.

I skipped the traditional SFR & went directly to the townhouse.

Inexpensive, no hassle living for the last 25+ years.

Now watching my octogenarian in-laws trying to keep up with their ranch house with large yard/garden.

 

[audreyh1]

I would be concerned about lease renewal on a rented place.

 

[RobbieB]

That would fix things!

You are welcome anytime. Maybe out on the boat;

Nothing more calming than a ride down the river. Lost my first wife and it was a long time until I got my second lovely bride and a few years after that until I got back into boats.

It does get better my friend -

 

[Dreamer]

I'm sure you've heard it before, but "they" (whoever that is) recommend not making a big decision - like giving up the house/getting an apt. right after a major life change. I heard "one year" as a buffer. No idea if this is good advice or not.

I think the exception to "no major changes" might be if the memories where one lives are painful. My guess is that you are "rattling around" that old house and it seems too big. But I'm also guessing the memories are mostly good.

So, no real advice - except to think on such a decision for a while.

I am so pleased that your daughter and friends are all close by. What a blessing!

I was thinking this exact thing, but didn't know whether to post or not. I also don't know if it is good advice or not.

I have never been divorced or widowed, so I am hesitant to offer any advice. I would just hate for you to rush into something and then regret it.

I am also glad that your daughter and friends are close by.

 

[Buckeye]

I would be concerned about lease renewal on a rented place.

It's not just big rent increases to worry about anymore. It's having the owner turn it into an Airbnb unit and the housing inventory is gone.

 

[pb4uski]

One can always move to an owned condo or townhouse.

Pay a monthly fee and never have to worry about outside maintenance again.

I skipped the traditional SFR & went directly to the townhouse.

Inexpensive, no hassle living for the last 25+ years.

Now watching my octogenarian in-laws trying to keep up with their ranch house with large yard/garden.

Convenient living, but your heirs will still need to sell it when you are gone... that is why they decided to rent... less hassle for their son... but admittedly some lese renewal uncertainty for them. I think they may know the landlord and are not concerned about that.

 

[audreyh1]

It's not just big rent increases to worry about anymore. It's having the owner turn it into an Airbnb unit and the housing inventory is gone.

Exactly. I’d be worried about getting kicked out when my lease expired and having a hard time relocating.

I don’t think selling real estate like a condo or townhome is a major burden on the heirs. Besides, if you move to a CCRC or other type place near the end you’ll likely sell it then anyway to help fund your transition.

 

[aja8888]

You are welcome anytime. Maybe out on the boat;

Nothing more calming than a ride down the river. Lost my first wife and it was a long time until I got my second lovely bride and a few years after that until I got back into boats.

It does get better my friend -

Thanks, I appreciate the offer and the input.

 

[Koolau]

Exactly. I’d be worried about getting kicked out when my lease expired and having a hard time relocating.

Increased rent or losing a lease is always a concern. Most states give tenants at least some rights - especially for moving out. Here, it's required for landlords to send a notice 45 days in advance of termination of a lease (at end of old lease.) That's not a long time, but it does give at least some time to make other arrangements. We were landlords (by default) for several years as we waited to move into our property here. I hired a rental agent and it was worth the 10% fee.

As far as increasing rents, there are places with rent control, but I'd assume most of those, the landlords do minimal maintenance - hoping to go condo or otherwise eventually remove tenants. Hard to blame a landlord when s/he can't make money on a property. I never understood how rent control is legal, but I suppose gummints have lots of power.

 

[H2ODude]

Withdrawals? Pasht. Covid killed our travel, the only thing able to make substantial dent in the portfolio. Then DW diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last May (and is progressing what appears to be quickly). So I’m just sitting here on the computer and she’s, well, in the other room. Only thing beyond food and utilities is a bit of wood now and then for me to go out in the shop and build something. Sold her BMW so got that cash and insurance reduction. After expenses we’re pushing about 5-6k INTO the investments from SS and pension. We have nothing that we care to blow dough on. My Porsche is only 3 yo, house and furniture is all to our and the Bassett Hound’s liking.

I know care here in our house may exhaust my ability but I’ll hang in as long as I can handle it. We self insure for LTC but don’t see that as that big a bite of the stash. May bring help in if it fits the conditions. Money has sort of lost its allure to me; we’re at the point that no matter how hard we try the grandkids will likely graduate debt free from college. It’s nice to not have finances be an issue with this situation, it’s also a big lesson that money ain’t everything. Love R E K’s song “Road Goes on Forever and the Party Never Ends” but it damn sure does. Robbie’s got the right idea; we would be blowing it as we could but now can’t. I’d trade the whole portfolio to restore her failing brain. Cheers!

 

[Out of Steam]

Now watching my octogenarian in-laws trying to keep up with their ranch house with large yard/garden.

Our current plan is to give up the single-family house (or at least one with exterior maintenance) at about age 75, though my wife occasionally suggests doing it sooner.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Many people advise not to make any major changes for a year. It really depends on your situation. Personally I knew that I couldn’t afford to stay in Reno if I had to rent and it’s very important to me to paint, decorate, etc the way I want. Second our real estate market was on fire and I knew that I could get top dollar for my home and that prices were probably not going down much in Reno because it’s such a desirable place to live. If I had waited for a year I would have paid 50k more for my condo and not gotten that much more for my house.

It really pays to look at your individual situation. Plus too many memories in the house. While I have tried to make things easy for my kids to inherit I am not going to sacrifice my happiness so that they don’t have to sell a property that they are inheriting. To me that’s ridiculous.

 

[zippy2020]

I worked for an independent semi-retired CFP for a while. It was quite eye-opening, in many ways.

One of the many things he said that stuck with me was, "I spend my time with half my clients trying to rein in their spending. The other half I have to encourage them to spend money!"

Being a prudent, cautious saver can make for a comfortable and sometimes early retirement - but it can be very hard to drop those old habits and learn to "kick back and relax."

 

[HI Bill]

...I always ask two questions before most spending:
1. Is it truly necessary?
2. Do I REALLY want it?

I ask two questions, too.

1. Can I afford it?
2. Is it something I'll enjoy?

Instead of trying to save $, I'm trying to spend $, within reason. My current greatest fear is dying before I get to spend much of my accumulation. One of my family friends just died this week, less than five weeks after finding out he had cancer....at age 67. We saw him in the spring, and he looked health and happy. You never know.

 

[Koolau]

Withdrawals? Pasht. Covid killed our travel, the only thing able to make substantial dent in the portfolio. Then DW diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last May (and is progressing what appears to be quickly). So I’m just sitting here on the computer and she’s, well, in the other room. Only thing beyond food and utilities is a bit of wood now and then for me to go out in the shop and build something. Sold her BMW so got that cash and insurance reduction. After expenses we’re pushing about 5-6k INTO the investments from SS and pension. We have nothing that we care to blow dough on. My Porsche is only 3 yo, house and furniture is all to our and the Bassett Hound’s liking.

I know care here in our house may exhaust my ability but I’ll hang in as long as I can handle it. We self insure for LTC but don’t see that as that big a bite of the stash. May bring help in if it fits the conditions. Money has sort of lost its allure to me; we’re at the point that no matter how hard we try the grandkids will likely graduate debt free from college. It’s nice to not have finances be an issue with this situation, it’s also a big lesson that money ain’t everything. Love R E K’s song “Road Goes on Forever and the Party Never Ends” but it damn sure does. Robbie’s got the right idea; we would be blowing it as we could but now can’t. I’d trade the whole portfolio to restore her failing brain. Cheers!

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. I went through Alz with both parents. It's important to get some sort of respite care to allow you to get away occasionally - even if only for a couple of hours. In each of my parents' cases, there was a crisis which let us know that home-care was no longer possible and a care facility was required.

Hoping for the best outcome for you and DW. Blessings to you.

 

[audreyh1]

I ask two questions, too.

1. Can I afford it?
2. Is it something I'll enjoy?

Instead of trying to save $, I'm trying to spend $, within reason. My current greatest fear is dying before I get to spend much of my accumulation. One of my family friends just died this week, less than five weeks after finding out he had cancer....at age 67. We saw him in the spring, and he looked health and happy. You never know.

Yeah, once retired with a decent nest egg, it’s more about prioritizing your spending. We don’t try to save or limit ourselves to necessities only. What’s the point? Instead we focus on spending on our priorities and getting what we feel is good value for the money spent. Quality matters to us, so we often spend up for quality on the important things.

 

[Chuckanut]

I’m lucky to have two kids who enjoy being part of my
Life and who want me as part of theirs. They’re out of town so I am on a plane every few months. Or I plan a road trip and include them as a stop. Either way it works. I figure the kids will get my home and whatever is left from my investments.

 

[Out of Steam]

Many people advise not to make any major changes for a year. It really depends on your situation.

My wife is clear that she would sell our house almost immediately, probably to move near our daughter, if I died or became disabled.

 

[Out of Steam]

It's not just big rent increases to worry about anymore. It's having the owner turn it into an Airbnb unit and the housing inventory is gone.

Living in a rented single-family house or other place owned as a single unit has always seemed like an unstable situation to me. The owner is very unlikely to want to move their kid into your unit in a 100 unit apartment complex.

 

[N02L84ER]

My wife is clear that she would sell our house almost immediately, if I died or became disabled.

I would also. I have thought about what I would do if my spouse was no longer here ever since we purchased this house, so it is not like it would be making a big decision immediately after the loss of a spouse.