Mental and emotional recovery after retirement

[Happy Homebody]

I hope this is the right place to talk about mental and emotional health.

I have heard people talk about it often taking around six month to unwind and recover after their job.

My last couple months at work were very stressful, but before that I was also dealing with "normal" workplace stress and burnout.

Is this something that just happens naturally? Are there things you can do to help the process along? Or is it mostly just relaxing and doing fun stuff?

It doesn't really seem like a therapy kind of thing. Stressful things make me stressed. It isn't an issue to work through.

 

[Gumby]

When I first retired, I kept myself busy with a variety of chores, deferred maintenance on the house, lawn, garden, etc. But after six years, I have finally perfected the art of doing nothing much.

 

[Jerry1]

The beauty of retirement is that you make your own schedule. You make your own way. Assuming you don’t have any underlying health/mental health issues, just start doing whatever you want and see how it goes. Type A people may find it very rewarding and comforting to get a bunch of projects done. Others may just want to decompress and do nothing for awhile. The best thing to do is whatever feels right. Of course, your house may have some maintenance that has been put off for awhile, for example, so go ahead and get on that knowing that now you can do it on your time table. Things that had to be crammed into the weekend, can now be done on your schedule. You’ll find your way. Everyone is different, but six months to decompress is probably average. Just be you.

 

[imjustawarrior]

For me, it is about having discipline with my thoughts. I can either dwell on all the injustices and wrongs I have suffered (real or imaginary) or I can remember the positive things or live in the moment or think about the future. It takes discipline for me. I like to replay events in my head. I also like to plan for possible scenarios that may occur. Too much of this, and I go crazy and get stressed.

You will decompress at your own rate. You can speed it along by not dwelling on the past, forgiving others, and moving on.

 

[harllee]

When I retired I was so relieved to be out of the rat race I threw a big party and then I went on a major trip. I had a great time.

 

[Markola]

I feel satisfied if I get one significant thing per day done. It might be an appointment or mowing the grass or getting groceries. Sometimes I fail.

 

[MarieIG]

Exercise, chores, spending time with friends, not watching stressful television programs before bed, working on your health, spending more time doing a hobby you enjoy.

It takes some people time.

 

[Route246]

Less than 6 months to go for me and I've been thinking hard about this. Currently in an intense environment but it is financially rewarding and technically satisfying and challenging. Also coming to terms with an "I'm too old for this" mindset and it is sinking in. Plan to make a clean break and have every loose end tied up and everything documented and handed off. Documentation is coming along well and knowledge transfer has started. Departure will be bittersweet but it is time to move on.

 

[audreyh1]

I hope this is the right place to talk about mental and emotional health.

I have heard people talk about it often taking around six month to unwind and recover after their job.

My last couple months at work were very stressful, but before that I was also dealing with "normal" workplace stress and burnout.

Is this something that just happens naturally? Are there things you can do to help the process along? Or is it mostly just relaxing and doing fun stuff?

It doesn't really seem like a therapy kind of thing. Stressful things make me stressed. It isn't an issue to work through.

For me it happened naturally. I deliberately didn’t push myself hard, and focused more on exploring things of interest. I had some travel plans already set up, but plenty of downtime in between. After 6 months I felt decompressed and ready to make more plans.

 

[HFWR]

I was burned out and ready for FIRE, and retired the minute the numbers worked. Never missed a beat. Helps that I’m perfectly comfortable not being productive.

 

[rk911]

The day after my last day we embarked on a 10-week RV trip thru the upper midwest. By the time we returned home I was well into retirement mode.

 

[COcheesehead]

I retired during the pandemic lockdown. All we could do was bike, hike and play golf. Those activities alone made the transition pretty easy,

 

[pacergal]

DH retired during the summer--plenty to keep him busy. And I retired just before winter holidays, so I was busy enjoying the Nov/Dec days without work. And we had a retirement trip planned for two weeks, getting home on Christmas Eve.
After that, it was simply one day at time, doing whatever I desired--housework, hobbies, volunteering, etc.
It is amazing how quickly I shed the work stress. And I am able to process day to day "living" stresses much easier. I still meditate daily.

What do you like to do? What brings you joy?

 

[marko]

It took me about 2 full years to come down from a very high profile, high pay position.

Everyone has their own timeline. You eventually reach a point where you are no longer "on vacation" and slowly enter "this is how I live" mode. Most days I forget that I once even had a job.

My only caution would be to not lock yourself into taking on new activities/vocations too early on; something that would be hard to extricate yourself from. Your retired self may have different dreams than what your work self thought might be a good idea. (I was going to do volunteer archeology in Cambodia...got over that one soon enough!)

Good luck!

 

[skyking1]

exercise has been mentioned several times. Yoga in particular can help reduce stress levels and is easy to do on your own,

 

[sparky08]

I purposefully didn't commit to anything for six months.

I mean, I hiked and biked and skied. And I did some things around the house. But I didn't join any organizations or non-profits. After six months, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted the next chapter to look like.

 

[target2019]

I feel satisfied if I get one significant thing per day done. It might be an appointment or mowing the grass or getting groceries. Sometimes I fail.

Yes! One hour of yard duty, and chill. One appointment, and chill. One house task, and chill.

 

[marko]

Yes! One hour of yard duty, and chill. One appointment, and chill. One house task, and chill.

Our old neighborhood had a rule "Two hours of working around the house per day and that's it" (Boat work excepted and open-ended). We'd even keep track and then start hassling the violator.

 

[brett]

Immediately after retiring we spent 3 months getting our home ready for sale and then another 7 months traveling, and then 3 months in a furnished apt. in the city centre. It was a year before we got back to a normal state. Even then it was supposed to be a 6 month condo rental that stretched to 4 years.

I had a stressful job, travel, etc. I never really noticed the transition to retirement because we were so busy with personal business and travel.

It did hit me a few months later when a friend who we had not seen for some time commented that I looked so much more relaxed. I guess I was.

 

[audreyh1]

Our old neighborhood had a rule "Two hours of working around the house per day and that's it" (Boat work excepted and open-ended). We'd even keep track and then start hassling the violator.

Oh man. I remember in our RVing days one man was out there in this fancy resort washing his big rig almost every day for hours. I figured the guy didn’t have anything else to do.

 

[Beldar]

Throwing out all of my w*rk career related books/docs/etc and donating all of my w*rk clothing was very cathartic. It was literally starting a new career (of leisure).

_B

 

[Car-Guy]

I sort of retired on the job ~2 years before I quit officially working, so it was an easy transition for me. I did less work the last 2 years I worked (and got paid a lot more) than I ever did. The last 6 months, I'm not sure why I even showed up. Probably showed up since I was working from home most of the time. Just logged-on to the network, sent a few emails, attended a few conference calls and took some (lots of) breaks.

 

[Koolau]

Honestly, when I reached Financial Independence, I began to detach and decompress. I knew that at any time, I could walk out that gate, never return and survive on my pension and stash. I knew I no longer had to "put up with" anything I didn't want to.

So when (years later) I actually pulled the plug and left for the final time, it was almost anticlimactic. I can't say that I actually spent much time thinking about the transition. We're all different, so YMMV.

 

[imjustawarrior]

So when (years later) I actually pulled the plug and left for the final time, it was almost anticlimactic.

Talking about anticlimactic. I was the site manager and had worked there for 30+ years. Everyone was still working from home. Covid was basically over, but we didn't return to the office. On my last day, I went into an empty office and laid my laptop and badge on my desk and walked out. No one was there. I didn't even bother to turn on the lights. On the way home, I got a breakfast burrito to celebrate.

It was a little sad, but all of my friends had been laid off years before. Oh well. It was emotional driving home, but I got over it quickly. The new found vocational freedom was amazing, and I adjusted instantly. I have not spoken to anyone from work since I left 2 years ago. I did visit one of my friends in SD who had been laid off about 5 years before I retired.

 

[RetiredHappy]

I don't like stress, work or otherwise, but deal with it. I have noticed that my husband is unable to deal with stress as he gets older. It does not matter whether when we were working or now in retirement. I figure age has something to do with it.