Mixed Doubles Pickleball Etiquette?

[Trailwalker]

I would just forget about it, Midpack. Proper etiquette is to say “sorry” and then everyone moves on. She failed to observe that etiquette. Not your problem.

At 4.0+ tagging or body bagging is a legit goal, especially aiming for the right armpit or hip. I’ve been hit dozens of times, although it’s also an advanced skill to move one’s body to avoid that shot and counter or let the ball go out if it’s going out.

It’s just a plastic ball. It may sting a little. The biggest mistake people make is not wearing eye protection. Usually, it’s an unexpected ricochet that does the worst damage.

 

[planuntilthefisthits]

The woman probably reacts to a lot of behaviors as perceived insults. The fact she refused an apology is the key.

When I played, it was an unwritten rule not to slam directly at someone. Yet, mistakes happen.

I had the unfortunate experience of three times hitting a ball into the chest of the same women over a few weeks. It was embarrassing as it wasn’t my intent. Normal people can judge intent of others and react with the level of grace required.

 

[HarveyS]

If it is open play, she gets what she gets. At the same time, it's easy to assess the level of your opponent and dial it down so they can have fun as well. As was mentioned, in those cases work on skill not strength.

When I played our open play was structured by skill level to avoid this type of thing. That is, beginners 8am-9am, mid level 9am - 10am, high skill 10-11. I forget the number system, but you get the idea. Maybe that is a solution?

 

[Koolau]

If you are constantly worried about what some random (in this case, female) player thinks about your play, I'd either learn not to worry about it or find an all-male league.

By the way, I didn't know that you could avoid occasionally hitting the ball "at" someone on the other side. Do you have that much control to avoid it?

 

[Midpack]

It’s just a plastic ball. It may sting a little. The biggest mistake people make is not wearing eye protection. Usually, it’s an unexpected ricochet that does the worst damage.

+100. I don't even notice it in others I play against always, but it's a big mistake to play pickleball without eye protection IMO. Getting hit in the eye could cause significant damage, maybe permanent? I would feel absolutely terrible if I hit someone in the eye, but I can't force them to wear eye protection. But getting hit anywhere else stings, but it's not a big deal. And you're right, sometimes players get hit with balls that ricochet off their own paddles.

I have a regular group on Thursday and Saturdays. It would be nice if I have a regular group on Tuesday as well, but I do open play. [I play golf Mon, Wed, Fri]

 

[Midpack]

By the way, I didn't know that you could avoid occasionally hitting the ball "at" someone on the other side. Do you have that much control to avoid it?

Generally yes, but spin, an odd bounce, wind (outdoors), glare or just random chance can result in hitting another player even if you're trying not to. Unlike tennis, the ball is moving fast and players are in much closer quarters way more often. In the vast majority of games I play no one gets hit, but it does happen - guessing 5% of games or less?

 

[Midpack]

If you are constantly worried about what some random (in this case, female) player thinks about your play, I'd either learn not to worry about it or find an all-male league.

I know you're not meaning to make light of this, but it would be awful if any of us got hit in the eye and caused a serious injury - a distinct possibility. That's is all I am "worried" about. I wish I could demand everyone I play with use eye protection, but I can't...

 

[Dtail]

Generally yes, but spin, an odd bounce, wind (outdoors), glare or just random chance can result in hitting another player even if you're trying not to. Unlike tennis, the ball is moving fast and players are in much closer quarters way more often. In the vast majority of games I play no one gets hit, but it does happen - guessing 5% of games or less?

Actually I find that when I play in higher level games, there can be more hits on the body, as the players are better at aiming these shots, even though there is more readiness on the other side.
There are more trickery style shots that find the body, but usually not in the face area.

 

[chemEguy]

Generally yes, but spin, an odd bounce, wind (outdoors), glare or just random chance can result in hitting another player even if you're trying not to. Unlike tennis, the ball is moving fast and players are in much closer quarters way more often. In the vast majority of games I play no one gets hit, but it does happen - guessing 5% of games or less?

Tennis balls are moving way faster than pickleballs. It’s not even close. I will grant you that it is closer quarters in PB.

 

[Midpack]

Tennis balls are moving way faster than pickleballs. It’s not even close. I will grant you that it is closer quarters in PB.

Yes I know, you’re taking what I said out of context - you left out proximity. Especially these days where (singles) players rarely go to the net anymore, mostly baseline whereas pickleball players rush the net constantly. If you’ve watched both you’d realize getting hit is common in pickleball, but rare in tennis.

While getting "plastered" by a ball is a risk in any racket sport, you’re statistically more likely to take a hit in pickleball. It isn’t just bad luck—it’s a byproduct of the game’s physics and court dimensions.

 

[chemEguy]

Yes I know, you’re taking what I said out of context - you left out proximity. Especially these days where (singles) players rarely go to the net anymore, mostly baseline whereas pickleball players rush the net constantly. If you’ve watched both you’d realize getting hit is common in pickleball, but rare in tennis.

Fair. But I did mention that it’s closer quarters in PB and I agreed on that part. But I’d counter that in doubles tennis you are still at the net and fending off much faster shots.

I’ve been it with pickleballs, tennis balls, and racquetballs. Racquetballs are the worst and I wouldn’t dream of playing without eye protection (I took a massive shot to the eye in college and the eye protection saved my eye…had a shiner for a week).

 

[Midpack]

Fair. But I did mention that it’s closer quarters in PB and I agreed on that part. But I’d counter that in doubles tennis you are still at the net and fending off much faster shots.

I’ve been it with pickleballs, tennis balls, and racquetballs. Racquetballs are the worst and I wouldn’t dream of playing without eye protection (I took a massive shot to the eye in college and the eye protection saved my eye…had a shiner for a week).

I never said pickleballs move faster than tennis balls in the first place...

 

[dak2018]

I never said pickleballs move faster than tennis balls in the first place...

Unlike tennis, the ball is moving fast and players are in much closer quarters way more often.

Don't know how to interpret this in any way as pickleballs move faster than tennis balls.

 

[cbo111]

My neighborhood has 8 courts that are filled most mornings with a variety of open rec play. I played competitive tennis for 50+ years and generally play PB at higher level than most of my neighbors. I occasionally provide lessons, and one thing I always try to instill, especially with the big guys that swing for the fences, is to use just enough pace of shot that will defeat the reaction ability of the opponent. So many players just rip the ball and are not very accurate, which can be dangerous. Several (guys primarily) are so wild that other players avoid playing with them. My DW has come home on many occasions with a big red mark on her body from someone slamming the ball hard at her.

 

[Koolau]

Fair. But I did mention that it’s closer quarters in PB and I agreed on that part. But I’d counter that in doubles tennis you are still at the net and fending off much faster shots.

I’ve been it with pickleballs, tennis balls, and racquetballs. Racquetballs are the worst and I wouldn’t dream of playing without eye protection (I took a massive shot to the eye in college and the eye protection saved my eye…had a shiner for a week).

Yep, recall BFF showing me his bruises after his first two games. He was about 50 and wanted to join the league though he'd never played. He played a young woman (maybe 24?) who'd been in the league for a couple of years. She hit him 3 or 4 times! BUT, BFF beat the "girl" during the second (his second ever) game! He was the most natural athlete I ever met. He could play any physical game. But that racket ball is really moving off a racket. Everyone had bruises. The league DEMANDED eye protection - and they monitored compliance!

 

[chemEguy]

Yep, recall BFF showing me his bruises after his first two games. He was about 50 and wanted to join the league though he'd never played. He played a young woman (maybe 24?) who'd been in the league for a couple of years. She hit him 3 or 4 times! BUT, BFF beat the "girl" during the second (his second ever) game! He was the most natural athlete I ever met. He could play any physical game. But that racket ball is really moving off a racket. Everyone had bruises. The league DEMANDED eye protection - and they monitored compliance!

Anybody that plays racquetball without eye protection should be banned. Never felt exposed in tennis. Not in PB either.

RB can be dangerous. Phenomenal workout.

 

[Lorenzo]

Playing with others of the same level seems like it would be the key. In mixed doubles tennis you play as hard as you are able, and no one expects you to dial it back. This may be just another example of how pickleball is a different world from tennis.

 

[chemEguy]

Playing with others of the same level seems like it would be the key. In mixed doubles tennis you play as hard as you are able, and no one expects you to dial it back. This may be just another example of how pickleball is a different world from tennis.

It is. I played tennis for 30 years and today, I like PB a lot better. A lot.

But that said, it pulls in a lot of people that never played tennis and when those two types mix the results are unpredictable at times.

 

[RunningBum]

OK, funny and timely story here. None of the regulars in our group wear eye protection that I've noticed, though some glasses are probably rated. I've thought about it before, and thought again after reading this thread, and decided that since I always wear a cap, I'm probably pretty well protected. And I don't want to wear lenses because I don't want sweat dripping onto them.

This morning, someone hits one hard at me, about chest high, and I don't quite get my paddle up enough and it deflects off, you guessed it, right into my face, just above the eye. A little stunned, no damage, no blurriness, but I had to laugh.

I just ordered Kitchen Blockers.

 

[big john]

Could be interesting here, though I don’t have good answers. I play 3 times/week and really enjoy it. 2 days/week is with friends, but once a week we’ve been playing Active Aces 55+ open play with 16-24 people, some we’ve seen before but others not. That’s where etiquette is a puzzle. I’d like everyone to enjoy themselves as much as possible. However there is supposed to be some element of competition as well, otherwise there’s no point IMO.

I’m just an average player, but not a beginner. Yesterday I inadvertently hit the ball about chest high with more pace than intended at a woman I didn’t know. I meant to pass her down the line and was off line. Fortunately she got her paddle up so I didn’t hit her, would have stung if it had. She was startled and furious. I really didn’t mean to and apologized profusely. After that I didn’t hit anything with pace and DW and I won anyway. I apologized again as we walked off but it was obvious I wasn’t forgiven as she said ‘I don’t know why some men like to “tee off” on women.’ I consciously try hard not to but I made a mistake, and she doesn’t know me. [She had no eye protection which I consider a huge mistake, but I’m sure me suggesting same wouldn’t have been well received]

At risk of being sexist…

• Some women expect men to dial it back, and I’m OK with that (some men do tee off on all women, that’s wrong IMO).
• Some women who don’t move well are disappointed if you don’t hit it in (softly) right to them, I’m not OK with that - at least let me work on placement if I’m dialing it way back. I’m paying to play too.
• And some better women players are insulted if you dial it back for them.
• I try to adapt but it’s a little tiresome to have to figure out how to adapt in each game…wish I had a better answer.

At least with four men playing, there’s no expectation of dialing anything back. IMO if you’re better than me - man or woman, many are, go for it with my blessing! I never play without eye protection so no worries.

A-ha moment? I think I’m going to suggest we try to play all men, all women as much as possible next open play. I’d suggest we let the women self select- women who prefer mixed are welcome and some of the other women might be happier?

I’ve been playing pickleball for quite awhile. I really haven’t found player’s that purposely aim at opponents. It just happens at times. Eye protection is #1. Take cheap sunglasses and remove the lenses. Sorry to say but if you don’t want to get hit. Don’t go on the court. Paddle up!

 

[Ready]

I play almost every day and generally try to pre-arrange a foursome of players that want to play together. For the times when it doesn’t happen, I might try playing a softer game to make it more fun for everyone. But at the same time, I frequently get whacked by beginners that have little control over the ball and just try to smash everything as hard as they can. So if I occasionally tag someone I don’t do anything other than apologize once and move on. For the woman you are referring to, I probably would avoid playing with her if possible because we only have so much time to play and it’s not much fun if the games are not competitive for everyone playing.

 

[cyclegirl]

I’ve been playing PB for just over a year and most of the people I play with are better than I am. About half are men. Basically the same group, up to 24+ players sometimes, play 3 times a week. They all know each other’s game and most will tailor their play accordingly. As one of the least experienced player I have opted out of a game when I know there’s a big gap between us. That being said, I have gotten upset when they asked me to play because they needed a fourth player and then proceed to slam every ball towards me knowing they will win the point. I’ve even had a male partner who stopped playing when this happens and said the guy who slammed it should not have done it.

 

[WWDog]

Pickle and Etiquette
in the same sentence and question at that!
And I used to make fun of tennis even though I used to play myself!
I guess I am a relic.

 

[oscar1]

I sub in an advanced recreation mixed group and the women are better than the men in a lot of situations. The women play in this group because they don't want to be treated differently. Having said that, I am new at the mixed game. I probably play 95% of my games against men. But so far when I play with women, I just try to be courteous. If I screw up, I socially apologize. We move on. If your opponent vents, that's on her One more thing. If she's winning most of her games, she belongs in that group or needs to move up. If she is losing most of her games, she needs to move down. If she whines about it, maybe in over her head.

 

[chemEguy]

I was playing today with a competitive group. I usually yell LOB LOB if I’m hitting a lob whilst behind my partner so they know it’s coming and can defend themself. Opponent gave me crap for calling LOB when I hit after his partner hit it out.

We’re up 10 7 at that point.

Next shot? I lobbed it and yelled LOB LOB and the same guy hit it deep again for the win.

Love it.