Moving past the fear

[RetiredHappy]

I want to share a more balanced view as I have paid a lot of attention to new retirees past few years. Most people here already shared the positives which I am not going to repeat. I do know a few negatives from people or friends I know. A very close relative of me retired from her prestigious profession after more than 30+ years. For last 9 months, her only or major activity is all related to health to a point she is obsessed or addicted. She never in the past has that luxury, time wise, but now she visited doctors of various specialties for minor issues from head to toe. With A1C at 6.3, she complained and concerned she has diabetes and tried all kinds of special diet, etc. she is single, no kids, and she doesn’t want or need to leave any wealth to others, no no one know when someone is going to die, and you get my point, no matter how we comfort or counsel her, etc I also know a few who suffers anxiety or depression after retirement too. I know it is easy to say these people don’t know how to enjoy life, etc but to some, it is not easy, especially they lose their identity, their routine, and their work connection all at once after so many years! Again, the decision to retire is vey individual, after you are financially ready assumed of course.

With A1C of 6.3, I would be on low carb diet too. She is absolutely right to be concerned.

 

[1242Vintage]

I moved past the fear quickly. Headed over to CEO’s office one morning for annual performance review/goal setting. All was good on that.

Had an awkward moment of silence. Then I just blurted out … “How much lead time do you need until I retire?” It was like jumping off the high dive as a kid. Looked scary, but really wasn’t.

We settled on a date a month away … I went down to the street level of our building, called lovely wife to tell her and she said … “come on home!” Jumped on a plane home and that was it.

Done at age 57!

 

[NgineER]

Well, @bobbfrommn how did it go?

@Bobfrommn - did you freak out and get hurt?

 

[skipro33]

I had ZERO fear when I pulled the plug, having worked my career for this date and planned for a 3 legged stool where any 2 legs fail, I would not lose the house or starve. Any one leg failed and I wouldn't have to change a thing, that 3rd leg was simply gravy, giving me options for SHTF events or to pay for the good home, not the one I saw on 60 minutes, when that time comes. Ha!
PLUS I was plenty young enough to start over, or at least be able to work another 10 years to rebuild if necessary.

My stool consists of:
1. Pension (enough to cover all my necessary and disposable expenses)
2. Social Security (enough to cover all my necessary expenses)
3. IRA/investments (enough to cover necessary and disposable expenses)

I collected severance pay, used some for home improvement projects until SS kicked in at 62, 7 years into retirement. I retired without a mortgage or any outstanding loans of any sort. We spend as much as we wish, without reservation and are worth more today than when I first retired.

 

[skipro33]

I delayed retiring for about a year and a half after I could have and I wish I had not delayed. It is true that being financially ready to retire and being psychologically prepared are different. Go for it! Also, give 2 weeks notice. I gave 3 months notice and my boss PILED the work on before I left

I was FI at age 50, but pension percentages were designed for 55, so I held off. I wish I wouldn't have had to delay, which technically I didn't HAVE to, but greedy enough to capture the top tier for that pension.
My boss also tried that pile-on trick, so I decided it was time to get that hernia I'd been living with fixed. I gave him no notice, just called that morning and told him I was getting surgery this morning, and I'd call him later in the week to let him know when I'd be back. Ha! I gave him 2 weeks to parse out my work, then I returned to pretty much an empty assignment list. Spent the last couple months training others and answering questions on the projects they inherited from me.

 

[CO-guy]

I'm curious how it went?

My own resignation felt amazing. My boss asked me to do a bunch of thankless (uncompensated) work. My email response was to say, "hard pass." Then she requested a meeting (with HR) and started trying to explain at the meeting that refusing the request would be considered insubordination. I quickly cut her off and said something to the extent of, "You're not understanding the purpose of this meeting. I'm resigning." I followed up on the meeting with a polite resignation letter.

I had been waiting for that meeting for over 5 years and became FI during that time period. For my boss, it was a (well-deserved) sucker punch.

 

[Koolau]

I'm curious how it went?

My own resignation felt amazing. My boss asked me to do a bunch of thankless (uncompensated) work. My email response was to say, "hard pass." Then she requested a meeting (with HR) and started trying to explain at the meeting that refusing the request would be considered insubordination. I quickly cut her off and said something to the extent of, "You're not understanding the purpose of this meeting. I'm resigning." I followed up on the meeting with a polite resignation letter.

I had been waiting for that meeting for over 5 years and became FI during that time period. For my boss, it was a (well-deserved) sucker punch.

Sounds very satisfying.

I left when I was informed that my assignment would change. I held no animosity toward my boss (or, really, any one else.) BUT I had no intention of doing something I didn't want to do when I had been financially independent for several years. I'd been enjoying my assignment up until that moment.

It was kind of a "sucker punch" for my boss and management - which I hadn't really intended. It was just that clear that I was "done." No one would have changed my mind at that point. YMMV

 

[CO-guy]

Nice! There's a bit more backstory to mine. More than 5 years before I resigned, my boss at the time asked me to skill up and take on an interim managerial role. I was given the assurance that, once proven in that role, I would be promoted. My achievements in that interim role were recognized, both within and outside our organization, and then my boss gave "my" promotion to his girlfriend at the time, who was not qualified for the position.

Fast forward 5 years and his replacement asked me to pick up the ball where my last bosses ex-girlfriend dropped it, but with threats of insubordination rather than false promises of promotion.

They were desperate enough to pay me half of my salary (plus benefits) for 1-year after I resigned in exchange for about 10h/wk of my time that I could complete remotely. There was some effort to bring me back on as full-time once the year was done, and it's clear the position has remained unfilled, but I have better things to do with my time.

 

[bobbfrommn]

Hi all just wanted to stop back with an update. I stopped getting notifications so didn't realize anyone was still reading lol.

As of today 9-18 I have not pulled the trigger. I realized the decision was stressing me more than any job ever had and I was getting no joy out of it so I gave myself permission to wait until I was comfortable with it. Soon as I did that a big weight lifted. I set a date of end march but have myself permission to quit at anytime. March is just the end date because that's when bonuses come.

Over the last three weeks I've been addressing the anxiety. I've become more confident in my plan. I've also done a lot of reading and prep exercises I've found on line. Each day I feel a little closer.

My projects at work have been stupidly easy. I've told my boss several times I can do more. They assign it, then it's delayed. Talking to my other co workers they're in the same boat. Right now I'm working about 8to10hrs a week so just nothing pushing me to quit.

At the end of each day I reflect on what I would have done different if I was RE. Recording it in notes so i can look back every week. Basically I found i work in the morning instead of reading the newspaper then do what I want, so no big loss. I've decided the week I miss doing three actual, meaningful things I wanted to do, I'd set up the meeting with my boss.

Thank you to all here with suggestions of encouragement. It's really helped and I'm starting to look forward to the date. I'm betting it will be before the end of the year.

 

[MC Rider]

My projects at work have been stupidly easy. I've told my boss several times I can do more. They assign it, then it's delayed. Talking to my other co workers they're in the same boat. Right now I'm working about 8to10hrs a week so just nothing pushing me to quit.

I brought a putter and a couple golf balls to the office. The floors were carpet. We had a little fun and evaded boredom. It was like miniature golf, give it a go.

 

[bobbfrommn]

I brought a putter and a couple golf balls to the office. The floors were carpet. We had a little fun and evaded boredom. It was like miniature golf, give it a go.

I WFH but grab the tennis racket and practice serves until the dog stops bringing them back. So far I've only out lasted her once.

 

[MC Rider]

So far I've only out lasted her once.

You have room for improvement there.

 

[Koolau]

My projects at work have been stupidly easy. I've told my boss several times I can do more. They assign it, then it's delayed. Talking to my other co workers they're in the same boat. Right now I'm working about 8to10hrs a week so just nothing pushing me to quit.

I WFH but grab the tennis racket and practice serves until the dog stops bringing them back. So far I've only out lasted her once.

Remind us all again why you want to retire??

(Heh, heh, please don't take this the wrong way, but... Some would envy you.)

Under those circumstances, I would have stayed and waited for a "package" but we're all different and YMMV.

 

[bobbfrommn]

Remind us all again why you want to retire??

(Heh, heh, please don't take this the wrong way, but... Some would envy you.)

Under those circumstances, I would have stayed and waited for a "package" but we're all different and YMMV.

It is what makes it so hard, I've never hated it. My work has always been "meh" it's just what I do 40 hours a week. I've never brought it home with me. When we were a startup there were a few 60 hour weeks but the exception not the norm. I clearly have told every manager I've had Bob don't play that, you get 40 you tell me what you want and it will be done in 40 unless it's unreasonable.

I'm a project doer and hobby collector. When I retire I've got a lot of things I want to improve around the house, some woodworking ideas, even some welding I want to play with. Part of the no rush is I'm not setup to do those things in the winter. With the wife's second foot surgery coming I figure I'm not traveling anywhere. So I start thinking may as well work part time while there is snow on the ground, get a check, healthcare, and a fat bonus in March.

No offence taken. I know I'm in a good position, better than a lot.

I've been waiting for that package for a while. Two years back we were bought by a PE company and I thought "sweet here it comes" nope. They got rid of 4 out of 7 of my department, I wasn't one. Then they hired three folks in the Philippines and had us "show them the ropes" and I thought ok now it's coming. That was a year ago. Apparently 25+ years in the business and 10 with the company is still valuable.