My new life is beginning

[braumeister]

I’ll spare you the details, but for the last four years I’ve been a full time, 24/7 caregiver as my wife struggled through an incurable cancer. She finally passed away earlier this year, and I suddenly find myself on my own again after 38 very happy years with her.

The caregiver role was the hardest job I’ve ever had, although I’m extremely grateful that I was able to do it for her. However, it took a great toll on me, both physically and especially mentally, and I’m just beginning to come back to life again.

The smartest thing I did was to get on several CCRC wait lists back when she was first diagnosed. I was able back then to travel around enough to check them all out in person, so I knew exactly what they were like. Our large condo is much too big for just me, and I wanted a fresh start. In a remarkable stroke of luck, my top choice of CCRC is expanding due to heavy demand, and I recently learned that a brand new unit (ranch style home) will be available for me this summer. I’m busily downsizing and getting ready for the move.

Looking forward (I think) to my new life as a single and being able to travel again. Already scheduled a major European trip for this autumn, so that’s a good start. Wish me luck!

 

[Gremlin]

Condolences on the loss of your wife. And congrats on the news of the new home! What will be the sq footage of the new place? Good luck with the downsizing!

 

[harllee]

You deserve a medal for being such a good caregiver for your wife. I live in a CCRC and love it, I bet you will too. Best of everything

 

[audreyh1]

Wow! My condolences on the loss of your wife, and how wise of you to prepare for the next chapter. It’s pretty amazing that you were able to research/visit with such strenuous full-time demands but it’s great that it worked out. Definitely time to take care of yourself and heal.

 

[Dtail]

My condolences on the loss of your wife. You will always remember your efforts on her behalf.
I also wish you the best of luck in moving forward. It will probably be exciting and fearful all in one.

 

[Montecfo]

I'm saddened for your loss, Braumeister. You.completed the hardest journey.

But I am greatly encouraged by your resilience and forethought.

All the best to you and your new life going forward!

 

[Flyfish1]

I'm sorry for your loss. That must have been extremely tough on you.
I'm glad to hear that you were so proactive in looking at CCRC's. That was very smart and something I'll remember ( hopefully). Best wishes and enjoy your new start and travels!

 

[Beldar]

ATB Sir.

_B

 

[braumeister]

Condolences on the loss of your wife. And congrats on the news of the new home! What will be the sq footage of the new place? Good luck with the downsizing!

Thank you. The new place will be about 1,500 square feet, which is half the size of the current condo.

 

[braumeister]

Wow! My condolences on the loss of your wife, and how wise of you to prepare for the next chapter. It’s pretty amazing that you were able to research/visit with such strenuous full-time demands but it’s great that it worked out. Definitely time to take care of yourself and heal.

Thank you. I realized right away that I would need both a new place to live and a way to join a community (I tend to be a real introvert). So I did all that CCRC research as soon as this began, when she didn't need so much of my attention. It worked out.

 

[harllee]

Thank you. The new place will be about 1,500 square feet, which is half the size of the current condo.

1500 is a large place. My CCRC apartment is 1200 square feet and there are 2 of us. Plenty of room for us.

 

[braumeister]

1500 is a large place. My CCRC apartment is 1200 square feet and there are 2 of us. Plenty of room for us.

True, but I'm living in 3,000 sf now, so it's a real downsizing. Still, I agree that it's more than enough for one person so not a severe downsize!

 

[Trailwalker]

My mom moved into a CCRC about a year after my dad died. It was a very positive change for her. Wishing you well. And agree with you about being a caregiver. It was the both the hardest and most rewarding (not financially) job that I ever had.

 

[street]

I wish You well in your new journey. I'm also very sorry to hear about your late wife. Being a care giver is a very hard thing to do. I wish you much Joy and Happiness as you start your new life.

 

[COcheesehead]

So sorry for your loss. She’ll always be with you. One’s spirit lives on. Embrace the future as a continuation of the journey of life.

 

[marko]

Condolences and God Bless for all you went through.

Sounds like you have a solid, rational plan forward. Know that you have several hundred friends here rooting for you.

Prayers and best of luck!

 

[Gremlin]

Thank you. The new place will be about 1,500 square feet, which is half the size of the current condo.

That’s perfect. DH and I downsized from 4000 sq feet to 1250. It’s the perfect size for us and so much easier to manage.

 

[Car-Guy]

Sorry to hear of your loss. But, it sounds like you did the best that could be done in such a situation. Best of luck in your next chapter of life.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I think after a big loss it can be good to have a different home that doesn’t carry all the memories. It’s very hard to be a caregiver. I hope you love your new home. I downsized to a 855 sq ft condo 5 years ago and absolutely love it.

 

[Souschef]

Dear Braumeister,
I am so sorry for your loss. I was also a caregiver for my DW for 12 years before she passed, so I can sort of feel your loss and what you went through.

 

[mystang52]

Condolences on your loss. I commend you for the caretaking and your new life beginnings.

 

[Act2]

Great respect for your caregiving role, and sincere condolences on your loss.

The CCRC plan sounds excellent.

 

[Zona]

So sorry for your loss. And best wishes for the upcoming move and travel.

 

[Jerry1]

I'm very happy for you and excited for you as you begin this new phase in retirement. My dad was a caregiver to his second wife and I know that was both difficult and rewarding. Thanks to the work and planning you did with the understanding that you'd be living on your own, you have a great opportunity to enjoy your new beginning. I wish you all the best.

 

[audreyh1]

True, but I'm living in 3,000 sf now, so it's a real downsizing. Still, I agree that it's more than enough for one person so not a severe downsize!

Your condo is 50% larger than our new house!