New “ailment”

[vafoodie]

I’m suddenly terrified to ride with my husband in the car. Nothing has changed but my reaction. If cars are beside us, I feel like we are going to hit them when we aren’t. Any one else?

 

[razztazz]

I’m suddenly terrified to ride with my husband in the car. Nothing has changed but my reaction. If cars are beside us, I feel like we are going to hit them when we aren’t. Any one else?

Something similar. Back in 2004 for some unknown* reason all of a sudden I couldn't get on an airplane anymore. Never had a problem before. Flew a lot. But in 2004 started to feel "freaky" before they shut the door and jumped up and got off the plane before I ended up like William Shatner in that episode of The Twilight Zone. At the time I had been having some medical/physical problems. That might have caused/contributed to it. e.g. Feelings of physical vulnerability transferring to mental state ... who knows.

I can say it felt as if it had everything to do with claustrophobia and not lack of confidence in the Bernoulli Principle/crashing/drunked-up pilots etc

 

[REWahoo]

You should to talk with your GP about this. Could be something anti-anxiety meds would help alleviate, or it could be something entirely different.

 

[Pellice]

vafoodie, can YOU drive? Or does this show up only when you are a passenger?

 

[braumeister]

Something similar. Back in 2004 for some unknown* reason all of a sudden I couldn't get on an airplane anymore.

Really a bummer when they put you on the Do Not Fly list.

 

[razztazz]

Really a bummer when they put you on the Do Not Fly list.

HA! That would be a better excuse to not fly than "losing my mind.".

 

[vafoodie]

vafoodie, can YOU drive? Or does this show up only when you are a passenger?

Shows up only when I’m a passwnger. Not afraid of my own driving. My gp gave me beta blockers and buspar to try for it. Didn’t help.

 

[Pellice]

Driving anxiety is extremely common, part of the "spectrum" of panic attacks. I've been experiencing it for some months, and have been working hard at overcoming it. Your variant involves (probably) a lack of control. I only experience fear when I'm driving, not when I'm a passenger. I understand the terror. There's a fair amount of information online about it, and pretty much it boils down to exposure therapy - doing what is terrifying little by little. Everyone swears it works, but I can't believe how much time (and wasted gas) it takes.

You can imagine how it works - you take your baseline (what kinds of rides don't bother you) and start upping the fear quotient little by little, repeating the same trip until it doesn't bother you, then moving on. You'll have to enlist your husband's help!

I'm improving, but it isn't pleasant, and I still don't know where I'll end up. But I have to do this, else I'll be really confined in my movements. Just know that this is more common than people realize, and overcoming it is generally regarded as generally doable.

 

[MRG]

Panic and anxiety come from being in a situation we don't know how to control or have the skills to navigate. I have both and it's not as much fun as people think. It makes sense for you to feel less comfortable with someone else driving, you have no control.

I do deep breathing exercises and they are very helpful. Look at Heartmath I don't currently use it but it's a great training tool for breathing exercises.

I will in certain situations do tapping, while visualizing the stressful situation and overcoming it, which would probably help you after the right amount of coaching/training. A clinical psychologist can help you.

 

[W2R]

I’m suddenly terrified to ride with my husband in the car. Nothing has changed but my reaction. If cars are beside us, I feel like we are going to hit them when we aren’t. Any one else?

The fact that it came on suddenly is interesting. Do you suppose that perhaps your vision suddenly got worse? Might be worth getting an eye exam and a new pair of glasses (if you wear them).

When my cataracts were bad I was more nervous about this sort of thing than I am now, because I couldn't see well and it seemed like cars were descending upon me from all directions. After my cataract surgery things returned to normal.

 

[O2Bfree]

Changes in body chemistry due to aging can cause new anxieties. We can loose some of our nerve as those youthful hormones that gave us the courage to get out there and conquer the world start ebbing. I know I've been dealing with some minor anxiety issues regarding driving and some of the sports I've always enjoyed. Maybe it's part of nature's way of trying to keep us safe as our physical abilities decline. Meditation and avoiding repetitive thought patterns has helped me a lot with this.

 

[Venturer]

I’m suddenly terrified to ride with my husband in the car. Nothing has changed but my reaction. If cars are beside us, I feel like we are going to hit them when we aren’t. Any one else?

Changes in body chemistry due to aging can cause new anxieties. We can loose some of our nerve as those youthful hormones that gave us the courage to get out there and conquer the world start ebbing. I know I've been dealing with some minor anxiety issues regarding driving and some of the sports I've always enjoyed. Maybe it's part of nature's way of trying to keep us safe as our physical abilities decline. Meditation and avoiding repetitive thought patterns has helped me a lot with this.

^^This
My DW has really gotten bad in the last year. We had a wreck on the motorcycle in 2004 and she was really nervous about riding for a good long while after that. I understood and even told her that if she didn't feel comfortable enough to ride I would just sell it. She didn't want me to do that so we kept riding. She finally reached a point to where she wasn't grabbing my ribs at every stoplight. But now (last week) we were on our way home from a camping trip in the truck pulling the 5th wheel and if we were approaching a driveway or cross road with a vehicle sitting waiting she would be grabbing the dash and generally exhibiting nerves. At times she would "ohh look out for that" and even once kind of screamed "watch it he's stopping" when there was no brake lights ahead. I tried to calm her but she said she was just more nervous pulling this bigger camper. She ask me if I was too close to the center line several times. I drove tractor trailers for 10 years so I do know how to handle a rig and am confident. It bothers me that she is getting so much more nervous lately. I don't know anything I can do about it but I'm glad to see she isn't the only one. (not glad y'all have problem) but it helps me kinda understand it not just her.

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

^^This

My DW has really gotten bad in the last year. We had a wreck on the motorcycle in 2004 and she was really nervous about riding for a good long while after that. I understood and even told her that if she didn't feel comfortable enough to ride I would just sell it. She didn't want me to do that so we kept riding. She finally reached a point to where she wasn't grabbing my ribs at every stoplight. But now (last week) we were on our way home from a camping trip in the truck pulling the 5th wheel and if we were approaching a driveway or cross road with a vehicle sitting waiting she would be grabbing the dash and generally exhibiting nerves. At times she would "ohh look out for that" and even once kind of screamed "watch it he's stopping" when there was no brake lights ahead. I tried to calm her but she said she was just more nervous pulling this bigger camper. She ask me if I was too close to the center line several times. I drove tractor trailers for 10 years so I do know how to handle a rig and am confident. It bothers me that she is getting so much more nervous lately. I don't know anything I can do about it but I'm glad to see she isn't the only one. (not glad y'all have problem) but it helps me kinda understand it not just her.

I will say my DH thinks I'm a nervous Nellie and he is a generally good driver but traffic here is appalling and twice on the last 3 mos my screaming kept us from hitting stopped cars on the interstate and someone from hitting us crossing a divided 4 lane. There just alot going on on massively busy 6 lane highways (on each side) that are the thoroughfares in our cityand he absolutely didn't see it. I will keep sounding the alarm if it keeps me out of the hospital.

 

[Jerry1]

I had a boss that I would drive with as a passenger from time to time. This guy was a terrible driver. He’s the only driver I know that got honked at from the car in front of him (terrible tailgater). Anyway, I would just keep telling myself that this guy drives many miles a year and gets home every night without being in an accident and it’s more likely than not that this will continue to be the case. I never fully calmed down, but it helped.

 

[EastWest Gal]

I've had a similar experience. No way would I take medications for this. anti-anxiety medications would prevent me from driving, and beta-blockers only help block the peripheral effects of adrenaline, not the hyperaware experience in my thoughts. For years I think he tends to drive toward the left side of the lane slightly. Overall he is a good driver. I have no problem with my son driving; he is cautious but not hesitant.

 

[RetiredHappy]

Not sure if it will help. Before I retired, I went through 2 years of anxiety which would come on all of a sudden, once sitting at the airport before I got on a plane and the other time when I had alot of work to do remotely on the computer when I was on the opposite side of the world visiting friends. I always had a tube of motion sickness pills, i.e. Dramamine, with me, and each time I popped a pill and it just calmed me down.

 

[Koolau]

My mom struggled with the issue of riding with my dad. He did occasionally follow too closely, but had quick reactions and never had an accident that was his fault. When mom rode with me, she never complained as she did with my dad. Don't know what the difference would have been. BUT the "disease" or whatever you call it is very real and can almost debilitating. YMMV

 

[Aerides]

It could be an age/hormone related anxiety, post-menopausal stuff is annoying, but hopefully one managed with non-medicinal intervention. I'd look into hypnotherapy, etc., but I'd probably have a session with a doc to rule anything out. Sometimes our bodies tell us something is wrong in odd ways.

Either way, I wouldn't dismiss it, especially if it's impeding on your ability to travel together or even enjoy going out to dinner.

 

[Bamaman]

I had a co-worker we couldn't let drive us around in company cars. It was like he was in a battle with every car around him--tailgating him, pulling out in front of him, slow drivers in front of him.

It's a sub problem of Obsessive Compulsion Disorder. He needed therapy and antidepressants that impede seratonin.

 

[Kerfuffle]

Unlikely, but have you had your vision checked? Before I got lasik many years ago, my husband's driving terrified me while my driving was awesome (in my opinion). My husband felt that I left way too much distance as I was driving. After lasik, suddenly his driving was fine and I no longer thought he was going to sideswipe cars or rear-end them, and he thought I was a more reasonable driver. I still don't know why the lasik fixed something my glasses couldn't, though I did have astigmatism that was also corrected with the lasik. So anyway it's something to consider, a cheap thing to have checked. Our eyes change as we age for sure.

 

[easysurfer]

I’m suddenly terrified to ride with my husband in the car. Nothing has changed but my reaction. If cars are beside us, I feel like we are going to hit them when we aren’t. Any one else?

When I was a passenger when one friend who drove on long trips, it would terrify me.

She would get sleepy and drift towards the shoulder. She'd be alert enough to correct, but I could never nap as she was driving as I'd brace for a crash.

I'm actually experiencing something similar to you. Not as a passenger but as a driver. Had been stuck at home like many during the pandemic. Then about 2 months ago, after fully vaccinated, went on a trip for about 500 miles. Noticed I was jumpy on the road when a semi truck was on the adjacent lanes.

I figure the nervousness will go away once I drive more.

I'm not a horse rider, but I'd figure perhaps those that do get a bit nervous back in the saddle again after a long layoff. Maybe that's what you are feeling. That or .... something about your husband .

 

[pacergal]

I second a medical check, especially eyes and ears.

I am recently over another bout with BPPV (positional vertigo). In the past, it always resulted from a roll over movement in bed or ear infection. This time I got it when sitting in a chair. Wasn't really dizzy, but visual perception was affected. No ear infection per dr.
Luckily, a few days of Epley maneuvers helped the inner ear correct.