ER Eddie
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,794
I am 19 months into my retirement, and so I figured it was time for a refresher course, a tune-up so to speak. I revisited my old notes on retirement planning and re-read some old books on the subject. I made some notes along the way, and I thought I'd share some of them.
These are my own notes of things I found interesting or helpful. They won't click with everyone; that's fine. I'm just sharing them in case they might be of interest or stimulate some thought.
1. Happiness = expectations minus reality. Don't get inflated expectations of retirement being all joy and bliss. That's a setup for disappointment and self-doubt. Aim for a "good enough" retirement. High expectations help if you're trying to drive performance, but they interfere with happiness and contentment.
2. Avoid becoming like the people who decline in retirement. Many stories of these people can be found. Ten years into retirement, they are shadows of their former selves -- more pessimistic, sedentary, isolated, even depressed.
3. In a poll of retirees, the typical person said they spent half their free time watching TV, and a good portion of the remainder doing housework. The majority reported feeling less useful than before, and 30% said they were alienated and bored. Don't end up like them.
4. The main themes of happy retirement keep coming up over and over, and they're pretty clear and obvious: follow your interests, have plenty of interests, find useful ways to connect to the world/community, cultivate warm relationships, take care of your physical health, be a lifelong learner. Stay interested in and involved in lots of activities -- not just to "stay busy," but because the activities are genuinely interesting to you, feel meaningful, or contribute to your sense of self-worth.
5. My two favorite books on retirement: "How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free," by Ernie Zelenski, and "Work Less, Live More," by Bob Clyatt. Both discuss retirement (or semi-retirement) in very positive ways, and they do a good job of discussing some of the psychological and social challenges people face, rather than just discussing the financial aspects.
6. My two least favorite books on retirement: "The New Retirementality" and "The Retirement Maze." The first spends far too much time extolling the virtues of working until you drop dead, painting grim pictures of retirees who are bored, have nothing to do, and feel useless. It gives almost no attention to people who have a range of interests outside of work and who do quite well in retirement.
The second one, "The Retirement Maze," is the most depressing book on retirement I've ever read. Pick it up if you feel reading two academics (who say they'd never retire themselves, because they wouldn't know what to do with themselves) recite lots of statistics about retirees who lack purpose and meaning, and who die early. I will say, these books are at least helpful in pointing out the potential challenges that retirement presents for a lot of people.
7. Pets play a big role in the lives of the happily retired.
8. Don't try to figure it all out. Let it take several years to evolve.
9. Favorite excerpt from a book about retirement. The author of "Get a Life" is talking about the characteristics that differentiate the retirees who do well in retirement, vs. those who don't:
"Throughout most of our lives, many, if not most of us, strive mightily to fit in, to be accepted by the people around us... Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, many of the most successful retirees I interviewed claim to have failed miserably at doing this, referring to themselves as wacky, weird, or a lifelong misfit. Indeed, having so many energized seniors tell me how socially inept they had been as younger adults caused me to wonder if the very fact that these people had to come to terms with being 'odd' earlier in life helped give them the strength to do well later."
"At first, it surprised me when so many life-loving retirees cheerfully described themselves as 'odd,' 'a little nuts,' or even 'a true deviant,' but when this theme kept cropping up, I took it more seriously. Eventually, I began asking my interviewees if they believed that odd or eccentric retired people do better than their more conventional peers. The majority answered with a resounding 'yes.'"
10. Don't make big changes within the first year or two.
11. Define your own criteria for success in retirement. Don't buy into social programming about the good life or even research, which is generally just based on population averages.
12. Being independent and self-reliant serves you well in retirement.
13. Study showed hedonic adaptation occurred for retirees in the 6 to 18 month range. So expect that. Don't take it a sign that something has gone wrong. It's just a natural process. You can do things to compensate for it (e.g., conscious appreciation/gratitude, recall of the negatives of work life).
14. People who do well in retirement generally have an interest in intellectual and spiritual stimulation and in living an authentic life.
15. Creativity, intelligence, and self-sufficiency are very helpful traits in retirement.
16. Money is to be used, not hoarded.
17. Keep a sense of evolving and exploring. Don't try to nail everything down.
18. 5% of retirees end up moving out of state (another study said 18%, so figures vary). If you want to relocate, beware of places named on "best of" lists, because they get crowded and expensive, and they lose their charm.
19. Do a lot of experimenting. It'll take a while for the new life to come into focus.
20. Don't make anything a "have to." You don't "have to" do anything.
21. Keep your options open.
22. Earlier generations didn't have this opportunity. It was work, retire, die. Or sometimes, just work, die.
23. Go easy on yourself. You have no experience with retirement, so you'll have to feel your way through it. Cut yourself slack and go with the flow. Ease into it. Feel free to "waste time" -- if you enjoy it, it's not really wasted time anyway. Don't feel guilty for not being productive enough, not accomplishing enough. Enjoy the freedom. Let it unfold, rather than forcing things to be how you think they should be. Take it easy on yourself. Realize you have many years ahead.
24. Remember the value of "satisficing" vs. "maximizing." Don't approach retirement as something you have to "maximize." Aim for a good enough retirement lifestyle; don't get perfectionistic about it. So what if one area of your retirement isn't quite optimal? Many other aspects are going very well.
25. It's easy to buy into idealistic visions of retirement. Some of that is just natural hope and expectation. Some of it is because retirees paint overly idealistic pictures -- Facebook-ifying retirement, basically. And some of it is because people writing books about retirement can sometimes be overly enthusiastic, almost like a motivational speaker trying to pump you up. But that can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment.
26. I'm glad I kept some records that documented my dissatisfaction with work. They are helpful to review. Some things fade from memory. When I read about them, I go, "Oh, yeah, I remember that. That sucked." It helps me appreciate retirement.
Cheers.
These are my own notes of things I found interesting or helpful. They won't click with everyone; that's fine. I'm just sharing them in case they might be of interest or stimulate some thought.
1. Happiness = expectations minus reality. Don't get inflated expectations of retirement being all joy and bliss. That's a setup for disappointment and self-doubt. Aim for a "good enough" retirement. High expectations help if you're trying to drive performance, but they interfere with happiness and contentment.
2. Avoid becoming like the people who decline in retirement. Many stories of these people can be found. Ten years into retirement, they are shadows of their former selves -- more pessimistic, sedentary, isolated, even depressed.
3. In a poll of retirees, the typical person said they spent half their free time watching TV, and a good portion of the remainder doing housework. The majority reported feeling less useful than before, and 30% said they were alienated and bored. Don't end up like them.
4. The main themes of happy retirement keep coming up over and over, and they're pretty clear and obvious: follow your interests, have plenty of interests, find useful ways to connect to the world/community, cultivate warm relationships, take care of your physical health, be a lifelong learner. Stay interested in and involved in lots of activities -- not just to "stay busy," but because the activities are genuinely interesting to you, feel meaningful, or contribute to your sense of self-worth.
5. My two favorite books on retirement: "How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free," by Ernie Zelenski, and "Work Less, Live More," by Bob Clyatt. Both discuss retirement (or semi-retirement) in very positive ways, and they do a good job of discussing some of the psychological and social challenges people face, rather than just discussing the financial aspects.
6. My two least favorite books on retirement: "The New Retirementality" and "The Retirement Maze." The first spends far too much time extolling the virtues of working until you drop dead, painting grim pictures of retirees who are bored, have nothing to do, and feel useless. It gives almost no attention to people who have a range of interests outside of work and who do quite well in retirement.
The second one, "The Retirement Maze," is the most depressing book on retirement I've ever read. Pick it up if you feel reading two academics (who say they'd never retire themselves, because they wouldn't know what to do with themselves) recite lots of statistics about retirees who lack purpose and meaning, and who die early. I will say, these books are at least helpful in pointing out the potential challenges that retirement presents for a lot of people.
7. Pets play a big role in the lives of the happily retired.
8. Don't try to figure it all out. Let it take several years to evolve.
9. Favorite excerpt from a book about retirement. The author of "Get a Life" is talking about the characteristics that differentiate the retirees who do well in retirement, vs. those who don't:
"Throughout most of our lives, many, if not most of us, strive mightily to fit in, to be accepted by the people around us... Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, many of the most successful retirees I interviewed claim to have failed miserably at doing this, referring to themselves as wacky, weird, or a lifelong misfit. Indeed, having so many energized seniors tell me how socially inept they had been as younger adults caused me to wonder if the very fact that these people had to come to terms with being 'odd' earlier in life helped give them the strength to do well later."
"At first, it surprised me when so many life-loving retirees cheerfully described themselves as 'odd,' 'a little nuts,' or even 'a true deviant,' but when this theme kept cropping up, I took it more seriously. Eventually, I began asking my interviewees if they believed that odd or eccentric retired people do better than their more conventional peers. The majority answered with a resounding 'yes.'"
10. Don't make big changes within the first year or two.
11. Define your own criteria for success in retirement. Don't buy into social programming about the good life or even research, which is generally just based on population averages.
12. Being independent and self-reliant serves you well in retirement.
13. Study showed hedonic adaptation occurred for retirees in the 6 to 18 month range. So expect that. Don't take it a sign that something has gone wrong. It's just a natural process. You can do things to compensate for it (e.g., conscious appreciation/gratitude, recall of the negatives of work life).
14. People who do well in retirement generally have an interest in intellectual and spiritual stimulation and in living an authentic life.
15. Creativity, intelligence, and self-sufficiency are very helpful traits in retirement.
16. Money is to be used, not hoarded.
17. Keep a sense of evolving and exploring. Don't try to nail everything down.
18. 5% of retirees end up moving out of state (another study said 18%, so figures vary). If you want to relocate, beware of places named on "best of" lists, because they get crowded and expensive, and they lose their charm.
19. Do a lot of experimenting. It'll take a while for the new life to come into focus.
20. Don't make anything a "have to." You don't "have to" do anything.
21. Keep your options open.
22. Earlier generations didn't have this opportunity. It was work, retire, die. Or sometimes, just work, die.
23. Go easy on yourself. You have no experience with retirement, so you'll have to feel your way through it. Cut yourself slack and go with the flow. Ease into it. Feel free to "waste time" -- if you enjoy it, it's not really wasted time anyway. Don't feel guilty for not being productive enough, not accomplishing enough. Enjoy the freedom. Let it unfold, rather than forcing things to be how you think they should be. Take it easy on yourself. Realize you have many years ahead.
24. Remember the value of "satisficing" vs. "maximizing." Don't approach retirement as something you have to "maximize." Aim for a good enough retirement lifestyle; don't get perfectionistic about it. So what if one area of your retirement isn't quite optimal? Many other aspects are going very well.
25. It's easy to buy into idealistic visions of retirement. Some of that is just natural hope and expectation. Some of it is because retirees paint overly idealistic pictures -- Facebook-ifying retirement, basically. And some of it is because people writing books about retirement can sometimes be overly enthusiastic, almost like a motivational speaker trying to pump you up. But that can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment.
26. I'm glad I kept some records that documented my dissatisfaction with work. They are helpful to review. Some things fade from memory. When I read about them, I go, "Oh, yeah, I remember that. That sucked." It helps me appreciate retirement.
Cheers.
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